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At what age did your children learn about the facts of life?

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qanda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 11:32 AM
Original message
At what age did your children learn about the facts of life?
Or, if you don't have any chldren, what age were you when you learned? Also, where did you or your children learn? Was it in school or in the home?

I didn't learn about sex and reproduction until I was 12 and all of what I learned was in school. I am a woman and have two children, 9 and 7. I explain certain things to my children as questions and circumstances arise, however we have not an official talk yet.
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MuseRider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
1. My oldset son learned
WAY too early. He got kicked at school and some kid told him that he was going to get AIDS and die. Well, I started in trying to calm him but the darned kid is so smart that he followed everything with another question. I ended up saying way more than I wanted to because I was certain he would not understand. He understood enough to tell everyone in his Kindergarten class the next day. I got more phone calls the next few days with complaints than I had ever had. My response was always, "Well, did he get it right?"

What can you do? It did stop him from using sex for giggles because he already knew about it. He is 21, it does not seem to have hurt him.
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. LOL! Hope you don't mind my amusement at your story
Edited on Thu Jul-14-05 11:56 AM by Coventina
Kids are way brighter than adults give them credit for, usually.

I had a single-mom friend who's daughter started asking questions about why she didn't have a dad before she was even two!

My friend said she wanted to say, "Can I read a few books and get back to you?" She thought she would have at least 3 or more years to prepare how to talk about it.

on edit: Another friend of mine had a 3 year old son who asked her if he could start going to church (she didn't attend any kind of church).
She told me, "I always felt that I would let him make his spiritual decisions for himself....but I never expected him to make those decisions at the age of THREE!!!!"

:D
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Kathleen04 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
3. I was
Edited on Thu Jul-14-05 12:16 PM by Kathleen04
pretty young like 6 or so maybe..I remember "eww" being my reponse and I think it was good that I was young, because there was no parent/kid "awkwardness" associated with "the talk".

No talks with my dad have ever been awkward though really, because he never "sat me down" and had some kind of pre-determined talk that he was going to give..he just talks/talked about stuff all the time..when just driving in the car, sitting around, etc..
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. My kids are 8 and 5. I've been wondering about this.
My eight year old hasn't asked us specifically about the facts of life, but I think we will start slipping in little bits of information here and there, not make it a big deal. We don't want to overwhelm him, but we want him to learn about it in a natural, non-traumatic way.
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qanda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:09 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. My son just turned nine and that's why I was asking
I'm starting to think that it depends upon the child. Some children can put things together a little sooner than others. I'm like you in that I think it should be as natural a part of learning as possible.
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #7
18. I bought a book about growing up
Edited on Thu Jul-14-05 01:53 PM by tigereye
but he doesn't seem that interested. He's 9. I have explained some stuff, more the basic animal biology, then I found out that my husband had already explained more than I was ready to. Oh well. :)
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
5. I talked with my son several times over the course of his life
He is now 14. The talks are on-going, and content has been driven by his developmental and intellectual stages.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
6. My five year old and I talk as it comes up.
If she asks a question I explain it to her in an age appropriate way. I don't push, don't lie and don't offer too much info(right now too much would overwhelm her).
I learned from the group of idiots that I ran around w/. When I was six my nine year old neighbor would pose my Barbie and Ken in certain "poses". She told me all about it. Of course, half was wrong and the other half I really didn't need to know.
I don't want my daughter learning the same way I did.
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qanda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. I hear you!
I certainly don't want my 7 year old daughter to learn the way that I did. I have already started to explain to her about some of the changes her body will begin to experience over the next few years. Thanks for your input.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. I understand that too.
We are slowly working our way to that route here. I want her to be prepared instead of how I was.
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Trigger Hippie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
9. I guess about 8 or so.
When I found my dad's Adam and Eve catalogs...and my mom caught me. It was so embarrassing. :(
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Pale Blue Dot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
10. I talked to my son about it a few weeks ago. He's 10.
He was caught looking at porn on the internet, so I figured that it was time... :eyes:
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:17 PM
Response to Original message
11. Not any specific age, it's a continual process.
Edited on Thu Jul-14-05 01:18 PM by Bouncy Ball
When she was three, she just wanted to know how babies got out of the woman and I told her in age-appropriate terms.

When she was older, she wanted to know how they got in there in the first place. Again, age-appropriate is the key.

Edit: I have a friend whose daughter is almost 11 and she told me recently "I've never told her about the facts of life, puberty, nothing. She's so innocent and I just want to keep her that way!"

I told her "I promise you, she already knows. She just probably has some inaccuracies in her knowledge."

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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #11
16. Yikes!
11 is really old... I know people who were having sex at 11!
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spacelady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
13. Our daughter started signs of puberty (hair) at eight, so tried to start
gradually, but then she became friends with an older girl who is autistic and brilliant, but has some issues with apppropriate topics of conversation, so I had to accelerate the process, which was good, because she is now well-informed, not embarassed to talk to me about it and is wise and mature at 9.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:40 PM
Response to Original message
14. They don't have all the details yet. They just know that daddy gave mommy
a special love and they were made in my tummy. (Ages 5 & 7)
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liontamer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
15. my mom started explaining the basics when i was about 5
and i had pretty good factual knowledge by the time I was 8. The earlier the better in my opinion. You want your child to have a firm intellectual base before there are any hormonal issues. Also if one of your kids is a girl, they can physically develop early. This should all be blase to them before they(or their friends) begin puberty.
For example I started developing breasts when I was 9, and one of my best friends got her period when she was 9. I was totally comfortable with my body changes. But my friend(who at age 27 has severe body image issues) was taken completely by surprise. For a nine year old girl to just start bleeding at a friends house, and not know why is horrible.
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jackelope72 Donating Member (726 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
17. My Mom didn't really have much choice but to talk to me early.
I was a voracious reader as a child, and I would find my grandmother's or aunt's romance novels which were not exactly, shall we say, kid-friendly. So, of course, we would be in the middle of the checkout line at the grocery store...people in front of us...people in back of us...and quite out of the blue, my 8-or-9-year-old self would blurt out something along the lines of, "Mom, what's an erection?" or "What's oral sex, Mom? Is that when you just talk about it?" Through a beet-red face, and amid the snickers and giggles of her fellow shoppers, my Mom would simply say, "We'll talk about that in the car, honey." And we always did.
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