Help! My spidey senses are tingling, but I may just be paranoid!

[Not_Giving_Up]

Disclaimer: LOC is Lump on Couch, my husband

My mother in law announced about a month ago that she was going to take the children to South Dakota for two weeks this summer. LOC and I could go if we could pay our own way. Well, of course, we can't afford that, and this isn't the first time she's done something like this. A few years ago she took them to Florida to see the big Mouse, we could go if we could pay, which we couldn't.

Last week, she was over and she said to LOC "Let me know if you're going with us or not, I have to make sure there's room in the car." I had no idea that he was considering going, but I didn't say anything until after she left. Well, LOC was dancing like Rummy on Meet the Press, I couldn't get a straight answer. Yesterday, my daughter said "Daddy, are you going to go with us?", he walked by like nothing had been said. I asked him about it much later, and he said that he does want to go.

Now, don't get me wrong, two weeks with the house all to myself sounds absolutely grand! Just me, the cats, and the bird...Yeah! I can handle that!

Now, for what has my spidey senses all in an uproar.

1. My mother in law has taken the kids out of state on vacations numerous times. Each time, I write up a consent form for her to get medical treatment, if necessary, for the children. I always put a phone number on it so that I can be reached by the hospital if there are any questions. This time around, she wants a full blown legal document, notarized and all. I found the form for free at a website, no biggie there, but WHY?

2. The last time LOC and his mother went to SD, he looked up an old girlfriend. He came back home talking about feelings that had been awakened, but claimed that he went out to dinner with her, that was it. Now, if you know anything about the state of my marriage, you'll know that I'd be perfectly happy if he STAYED in SD. I just want to make sure that my kids are coming home.

I just can't shake the thought that if I allow my children to go on this trip, they might not come back home without a fight. My mother in law once hid her brother's child during a nasty divorce, and I would bet that she would do it again.

Am I losing my mind??

[TNDemo]

1. Go with them.

At least announce you are, maybe LOC on the couch will decide he's not going either. Go with them if you have to.

[Not_Giving_Up]

3. Ha!

Well, the car is going to have two kids and three adults now, it's full, no room for me. You know it's funny. Initially, it was "You can go if you can pay your own way", but that has obviously changed. He can't pay for shit, so he's bumming a ride in her car.

[tk2kewl]

2. Just say no to the legal doc and confront LOC

your suspicions seem reasonable IMO

[Not_Giving_Up]

5. Well, that document

Does limit the dates for which she would have permission to get care for them. Shit, if LOC is going, then she doesn't need that anyway!

[tk2kewl]

true. he can cover all that

[Not_Giving_Up]

9. She might not want that piece of paper now

He just told her on the phone this morning that he's going.

[stopbush]

Sounds suspicious. If it was me, I'd keep the kids home

and demand an honest discussion with your spouse.

Have you considered filing for divorce? It seems like there's little there for you.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. Yes, that is definitely in my future

About keeping them home, if I do, and there wasn't some sinister plan, then I look like an asshat who ruined vacation.

[Orsino]

10. How about demanding your own document?

Just a note signed by LOC that he intends to take the children on a trip of specified duration, and then to bring them home?

[Not_Giving_Up]

12. Now there's an idea!

I'd make his mother sign it too, I know how dirty she plays when she wants to.

[LastKnight]

61. its a good idea, yes.

but to pursue a legal route if something does go wrong you would need to find them.

this isnt to knock on the SD police, i live in SD, god love em, my uncle is in law enforcement here... but... what will be viewed as a family fued wont take very high priority here, especially if the father is with them, since he isnt legally denied custody it probably wont even be considered a missing persons/kidnapping case.

i donno, id say keep em home if possible. sounds fishy.

[stopbush]

16. Better safe than sorry. Do you really want to take a chance

with those, well, lunatics?

There's nothing worse than the in-laws when it comes to drawing battle lines. My sister just went through a divorce (no kids, wheww!) that was supposed to be a no contest affair...and it was, until the in-laws raised a stink over $1400. That's right, $1400 that their darling son was supposed to give to my sister. They must have figured out how much Black Velvet you could buy with $1400...maybe even a new refrigerator for their brand new boat.

BTW - darling son was off having an affair for the last 6 months of their marriage. I guess that having to put up with my baby sister's cancer treatments over the past 6 years got to him. Well, at least he got to keep the house and the boat. She got the dog.

I'm blessed with great in-laws, so I know bad ones when I see it.

[Mutley]

4. I'd find a way to go.

I hear ya on the money thing, but this sounds like it could get ugly. Maybe you could sell something, or borrow money from someone. Something to get the money to go.

Maybe nothing would happen without you there, but given your concerns about the situation, you can guarantee that nothing will happen if you go.

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. The only way that I can go would be

If I drive my own car, and I don't have gas money to get from Texas to South Dakota. I'm not working, and my unemployment barely covers the basics.

[trotsky]

7. "My mother in law once hid her brother's child during a nasty divorce"

There's your answer right there. She, and potentially your LOC, are up to no good. Don't sign anything.

[XemaSab]

11. What does

"paying your own way" entail?

I agree with you that you have reason to be wierded out.

Why South Dakota????

[Not_Giving_Up]

15. South Dakota because her siblings and mother live there

I'd have to pay for gas in my car, a motel room (she's not planning to stay with family), and all of my expenses (food, etc.) while there.

[XemaSab]

21. Suspicious

Screw South Dakota.

Take the kids to the beach for a weekend instead.

[Not_Giving_Up]

23. The kids are quite excited that they get to see

Aunts, uncles, and cousins that they haven't seen in four years. They've seen great-grandma more recently, she spent the winter here a year ago.

[XemaSab]

25. Tell the kids

that family is overrated, and when they're grown they'll understand.

:D

[Not_Giving_Up]

27. LOL

My brother is out of state and we don't get to see him much anymnore, and my husband is an only child. One of his mom's brother is only a few years old than him, and he has kids the same age as our kids. They dig the kids.

[XemaSab]

28. Can you

invite the cousins to stay with you, and take them all to the beach??

[Not_Giving_Up]

33. Not really

There are a million of them, I have no extra room, and I have no money.

[XemaSab]

37. Hence, the beach....

big enough for the whole family, and dirt cheap.

[Not_Giving_Up]

39. Well, there is a hurricane coming

I don't think the beach would be a very nice place.

[XemaSab]

44. if you take them to the beach first

you'll have fewer mouths to feed and less concern about space for the rest of the visit.

[mtnester]

13. Trust your radar...either go or everyone stays home

you know that of course. As another woman, I can tell you know your radar is working right don't ya?

On edit - and I mean GO as in the same car...they either make room or no one goes. Excluding you because there is not enough space is ludicrous...if that is the case make LOC drive separate

[Not_Giving_Up]

17. I'll admit that sometimes my radar goes wacky

I have stressed myself out over things before, and everything turned out fine.

[mtnester]

18. Hon, I edited my post right when you were posting, see my edit

No, this thing smells even here in Ohio.

[Not_Giving_Up]

20. Her car hold five people, not six

I'm really annoyed that he was (apparently) invited along and I wasn't.

[mtnester]

35. Then let LOC drive separately...dang it !

You know what to do...

[Misunderestimator]

24. I second you on the radar... mine has always been right about this

kind of stuff... partners cheating on you etc... You always want to believe that your senses are wrong, but they always turn out to be right... (At least in my experience they have).

[Maddy McCall]

29. The whole trip is meant to exclude her.

"Pay your own way" doesn't mean the son, too. IT means the daughter in law. Mom will pay son's way.

This mother-in-law is despicable. No way would I allow my children to be near a woman with such a venomous attitude.

[flamingyouth]

14. I bet she and LOC know you want a divorce.

I agree with others here: Don't sign anything.

[Not_Giving_Up]

19. I'm sure it's suspected

We've been in therapy, but he doesn't go half the time, and he just says the therapist is wrong about everything. Things like the fact that he needs to get a job and move off of the couch for events that don't involve his friends. I went to therapy alone last week, he bailed. We discussed exit strategies for the whole hour.

[Maddy McCall]

30. So, exactly WHY haven't you already left?

:shrug: Take your kids and get OUT.

[Misunderestimator]

22. Do NOT let the children go alone... trust your senses.

This sounds VERY suspicious to me.

[Not_Giving_Up]

46. I think I'm gonna put in a call to the therapist

I think I'm losing my mind.

[Misunderestimator]

47. You should, but seriously... DO NOT SIGN THOSE PAPERS

And do not let your children go... seriously! This is VERY suspicious. You should NOT doubt your intuition here... the stakes are too high. I hate to generate any more consternation for you, but really... do what your heart is telling you. Your children are too important.

[Maddy McCall]

26. Do NOT let your children go.

Do NOT sign any, ANY, legal documents.

Get the hell out of that marriage. I've read your posts about LOC. It's way past time for you to leave.

What exactly is keeping you from leaving? There are resources available to help you.

My god, listen to yourself! You are living with a man who you don't even trust to take your children on vacation! Is that any way to live? Is that how your children should be raised? Exposed to that disfunctional of a relationship and growing up thinking it's normal?

GTFO of that house. Take the kids, seek legal assistance through a women's shelter if you must. There is no reason you have to stay and deal with that kind of disfunctionality.

:hug:

[Not_Giving_Up]

31. Well...

The therapist and I have discussed my leaving at length. She agrees that I should wait until I have a job again to make a move.

It's not that I don't trust him to take the kids on vacation. I don't trust him and his mother combined. I was fine with the trip until I found out that he wanted to go. Part of what has me so freaked out is that I know he called the ex-gf a couple of times a month for three months straight after he was there before. I saw the phone bills, and I did reverse look up to find out who those numbers belonged to. Then, Mommy Dearest got him a cell phone. He had always been anti-cell phone, swearing that he didn't want one, but he has no problem with his phone now. (Except that he doesn't answer it half the time when I call, claiming that he left it in the car.) So, I have no way of knowing if he's still talking to her. The calls that were on the phone bills were all for one minute. Which could have meant he was calling her, and then she would call him right back. He says that he called her to see if she would answer, but she never did, and that he hasn't talked to her.

[Gormy Cuss]

38. It sounds like you trust your therapist.

Talk it over with her and you may see the clear path.

Staying in this situation until you have a job again may have been a good plan before, but listen to yourself. Spidey sense is there for a good reason.

If you want to confirm your suspicions about the ex-GF angle, get your hands on his cell phone and check the call logs. Unless he's smart enough to clear it out on a regular basis, you'll have your answer.

[Not_Giving_Up]

41. I do trust her

We missed last night because I completely forgot what day it was. (They all run together when I'm not working!)

I check his cell logs religiously. He keeps them clean as a whistle.

[mtnester]

48. No one keeps their cell logs clean as a whistle unless they are hiding

something. Seriously, you DO know that? No one cleans that call log out unless you are bored, or were looking for a number and decided to clean it while you where there, or are HIDING something.

[Not_Giving_Up]

52. Yes, I know

I didn't say that I believed him, did I?

[progmom]

32. you don't need me to tell you this, do you?

don't let your kids go w/ that woman.

[Not_Giving_Up]

34. I feel sick to my stomach

Part of me was hoping that I would hear that I was being a goofball, but not one person has said that.

[Maddy McCall]

42. My ex MIL was a very manipulative bitch.

I won't go into it all here. But suffice it to say that yours sounds worse than my ex MIL.

I wouldn't let those children ride across town with that woman, much less out of state.

[mtnester]

45. Dear, his mother is ENABLING this situation...giving him a cell phone

so you cannot snoop on him....no wonder your marriage has trouble.

We cannot make you take our advice, but you would hate yourself later. Even if your radar is wrong, so what? The harm done then would be nothing versus if it is right and you ignored it.

Again, go, and make LOC drive separately, make LOC pay for your meals (with mommies money, which I am sure she is sliding him some too I betcha betcha BETCHA) Only a cad would not feed his wife, and it would also look bad if Grandma did not feed Mommy in front of the kids.

So If Grandma pays for LOC hotel room, what is to prevent you from staying in it? Get devious girl, get sure of yourself, or get used to being miserable.

I am not saying this to be mean, I have BEEN where you are, so I know my shit on this...

[Not_Giving_Up]

51. No doubt that the umbilical cord is still attached

He can't pay for anything for me, he doesn't have a job. I'm assuming that his mommy is planning to pay for his food and give him a place to sleep. I know he's not taking my unemployment check to have fun on!

[bettyellen]

62. absolutely right-- this smells of a set up.

do not let them go without you. ask them how in the world they are okay with giving the lump on the couch gets a free vacation when he ought to be out looking to for work.
they are trying to use the kids as a wedge. even if they come back, i bet they'll have tried to brainwash the kids against you and set him up with that gal.
this is not good, he has more people on his side right now. you have to reach out before they screw you over. and i have absolutely no doubt that they will.

[warrens]

36. Sounds like something is up to me

I dunno, but it sounds fishy.

[caty]

40. Don't sign that legal document.

If you can keep it from happening, don't let her take your children out of state. What gives her the right to decide to take your children anywhere?

[Not_Giving_Up]

43. She tends to plan wonderful vacations for them

Which has never been a problem in the past.

[caty]

77. She probably has good intentions

as far as the trips are concerned. But the legal document bothers me. Are you turning guardianship over to her with this document? I would stick with the hand written note. You or your husband would be available to receive a phone call from a doctor. The note with your phone number is enough. Remember, never sign a legal document without consulting a lawyer. Even one you purchased yourself.

[Rising Phoenix]

49. "just because you're paranoid don't mean there not after you"

[mtnester]

50. "MRS" Sniffa?!?!?!

oh the commotion you wiLL cause in the Lounge..have you made your entrance yet? (Besides here I mean)

On edit - NEVERMIND, I see you have! http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3654098&mesg_id=3654098

[Rising Phoenix]

57. hi hi

Yes, as you see i have. I have arrived.

[mtnester]

60. I look forward to your rapid post count (heh heh)

[Not_Giving_Up]

53. So true

Welcome to DU!

[Debi]

90. Welcome to DU Mrs. Sniffa

:hi:

[xmas74]

54. Honey

I've read your other posts. You call your brother and you call him now-RIGHT NOW-and tell him what is going on and what this woman has done in the past. Ask him if there is any way that he can come and get you and the kids today.
You need a place to stay. He might be your only choice. And, since he is a man, I get the feeling that your MIL might not be as confrontational (I just get that feeling. Some women are like that). Plus, he lives another state away. As soon as you get to the next state you find out about filing for a divorce.
Get off of your computer and call him right now.

[Not_Giving_Up]

55. My brother is more than one state away

He's in Virginia, I'm in Texas. Pretty soon, he'll be in Chicago, put up in a hotel by his future employers, then on to Denver.

My mother in law has no problem being confrontational with anyone, regardless of size or sex.

[xmas74]

56. Still call him and ask him for help of any kind.

Explain it to him. He might have an idea for you.
And if the MIL has no probs being confrontational w/ your brother, he can fix her fat ass and get an ex parte. Kinda sucks when everyone gets to hear about what a bitch she is-for her at least.

[Not_Giving_Up]

58. I'll call him tonight

My parents are on their way out there to visit him now.

[xmas74]

59. And call your parents.

If you are that scared maybe they can plan something else or at least wire you some money to go w/ on the trip. Explain that you are worried that he will not bring the children back from this trip but you can't actually prove it. Explain about the phone calls and the exgirlfriend in SD. Explain that pay your own way only applies to you. And tell them how the MIL has hidden a child in the past.

I will assume that your parents love their grandchildren and don't want them to disappear. They will either tell you not to let them go (and maybe come get them instead) or, if they have the extra money, they will wire you the money (tell them you want to pay for the room upfront instead of actually having the money in hand and that you plan on purchasing alot of gift certificates w/ it so that the money is only used for you and the kids. You can even buy a certificate for gas in some places). And ask them if you could maybe stay w/ them when you get back from the trip for a while, until you get on your feet. That way they have their grandchildren right there w/ them and don't have to worry about losing them.

I think that in this case they will help you as much as they can. Just let them know the full situation and how frightened you really are. Chances are they would want you to get rid of the LOC.

[TNDemo]

63. How about a GPS device?

That you could plant on her car without her knowledge?

[Not_Giving_Up]

64. I can't pull one out of my ass

I have no money with which to get one.

[TNDemo]

65. How are you going to finance the hunt for them if they go missing?

Something to think about...

[Not_Giving_Up]

67. I can't finance a piece of bubblegum right now

Of course I've thought about this!

[xmas74]

66. They aren't always accurate.

I've learned that in the past.

[Midlodemocrat]

68. Gavin DeBecker has written a series of books

one is called 'The Gift of Fear', one is 'Protecting the Gift'. They are all about how your gut instinct is telling you something that your conscious mind does not want to see, or cannot see.

Do not let those kids go with her. If your gut is telling you something is off, it is.

Google Gavin DeBecker. His stuff is amazing. Trust your gut. Don't let them go, or go with them.

[Not_Giving_Up]

69. I sent the therapist an e-mail

I may not get a chance to talk to her because LOC is always around. I could run to the store, but it's pouring down rain. It should be interesting to see what she says.

[bettyellen]

70. did you see what exactly the doc is she wats you to sign?

just curious how it would expand her rights. weird stuff.
honestly sweetie, i don't know how you don't put that cell phone in the toilet, or accidently launder it. if she's subsidising his life, she ought to be putting food on the table for everyone, not enabling your husband to take vacations and date other women.

[Not_Giving_Up]

71. I found one online last night

It states that the other party (her) is authorized to seek treatment for the children. You list what conditions they have, what meds they are on, the names, addresses, and phone numbers for their regular doctors and dentist. You state what dates it's good for, and both parents sign it.

I agree, she's a bitch!

[bettyellen]

75. it sounds really fishy.

i honestly doubt they'd come back. you have to get out of there. they'll just do it when you're out looking for a job or something.
i would shame them into taking you, but not allow the kids alone with them for much time at all. that fuck blames you for everything, they'll try and turn the kids against you. be careful, and ramp up your exit strategy. insist that your parents help you relocate and get the heck away from him.

[Terran]

72. Let them all go so you can have a week of sanity, but

I agree with the earlier poster: make HER sign a paper in which she states she will have them back to you by a certain date. Hell, make him sign it too. Only then should you sign anything that gives anyone else the right to make medical decisions for them. And keep copies!

I've been following your posts recently. I think you could really use a vacation away from your family.

[Not_Giving_Up]

73. It's actually two weeks

I'm considering having her sign papers, but that doesn't mean she'll bring them back.

[Terran]

81. Well, do you think she's crazy enough to become a felon

by kidnapping your kids? If the answer's yes, then definitely don't let them go. But otherwise, what's she gonna do?

[Not_Giving_Up]

84. I don't know

She might, if she thinks she's right (and when is she ever wrong?)...I know that when her brother went through a divorce, she hid his daughter at her house, many years ago.

[Terran]

88. Well, if you can't confidently say she wouldn't commit a felony

then it's probably safer to tell her no. But hey, the LOC could go...!

[bettyellen]

76. No, possession is 9/I0 of the law, and she does not have the

resources to fight them, they are trying to kick her when she's down. the kids should spend 0 time with these enabling assholes. they should be giving her a vacation, not the LOC.

[Terran]

79. Um, that doesn't apply to human beings. n/t

[bettyellen]

82. she doesn't need to start a custody battle across state lines....

when her resources are so damned limited, and this MIL has a history of stealing kids from her other DIL.
sorry, it's just nuts to trust them.

[Not_Giving_Up]

85. She hid her brother's kid

Thank goodness my husband is an only child.

No, I don't want a custody battle, not like this.

[bettyellen]

91. and then did what, just give the kid back?

she probably totally freaked out the mom and got away scot-free, right?
i just don't think you can trust her after that. if he's planning to try and take them, you have his whole family willing to say you abandoned them or some such.

[Not_Giving_Up]

94. I don't know all of the dirt

When I met him, the girl's mother had custody. apparently she didn't get into any trouble over it. :shrug:

Here's the part that's weird - I don't think he wants custody. If anybody does, it's his mom.

[bettyellen]

99. oh yeah it's too perfect a set up for him...

dumping them with a woman who WILL enable his lifestyle forever, and leave him freed up to pursue this other woman. then he'll never have to be bothered with anyone expecting much from him. he can flop back and forth between the two households at will then. i'm sure he hopes she'll become enabler #2, and he'll never have to work again.

[Not_Giving_Up]

100. I know that the ex has 3 kids

If he's looking to escape kids, he won't do it with her. Granted, they won't be his kids, but still.

[bettyellen]

102. oh, it's not like he's going to pitch in there either.

he may well get away without helping at all, hes probably saying horrible things about you and this stupid woman thinks you're the problem in the marriage. yeah, he'll play the poor thing to the hilt.

[Terran]

86. It wouldn't be a "custody battle"

All she'd have to do is call the cops--if she has the MIL sign the appropriate document.

Not denying there's no risk involved, but as I asked her, unless she thinks the MIL is a complete freak who would do that to her kids at the risk of committing a serious crime, then I think chances are nothing is going to happen.

[bettyellen]

93. she already hid one kid. IMHO, that does make her a complete freak.

i'm sorry, but to give her the chance to do that again is risky.
ignoring her history is just foolish.

[hickman1937]

74. Looks like you've got a choice.

You can say "no trip" and risk looking like a mean mom, or you can let them go and risk getting divorce papers served on you from somewhere in SD with LOC having full custody. Tell your MIL that you all go(and she pays) or nobody goes.

[Not_Giving_Up]

78. Those are basically my options

No judge would give LOC custody of the kids. He hasn't held a steady job in years, and the last several jobs he's had were delivering pizza. I'm wondering if MIL would go for custody. She is, after all, financially MUCH better off than I am.

[bettyellen]

80. be really careful to see if there's anything you might have done or

do that could be twisted against you. when people are fighting about kids, they tend to go all the way. make sure they don't have anything they could use against you. also, can you check his phone bill on line? you need to have a text messages sent to his phone. (when he's sleeping maybe) and then you can check his bills. :evilgrin: you should be gathering evidence.

[Not_Giving_Up]

83. Well, I've worked my ass off to support this household

For the most part, by myself for most of the marriage. I try to keep the house clean while LOC, the kids, the cats, and the bird do whatever they can to fuck it up. The kids do more housework than he does. He sleeps 15 hours a day, and plays video games when he's awake.

I can't check his bill online. He's on their family plan, and only they can get to it.

[Debi]

92. Money doesn't make Grandma a better parent

The courts look at biology and ability to raise the kids (child's best interest)first.

Grandma having more money than you (and potentially stealing the kids from you) doesn't really make her a prime candidate for custody.
(and LOC allowing it doesn't make him look any better).

There are volunteer lawyer groups in every state that would help in a custody matter for free if it were necessary.

[Not_Giving_Up]

95. I know

I don't think SHE knows it though.

[Bouncy Ball]

87. Listen to your instincts.

Hold on to your kids.

[Not_Giving_Up]

89. I'm thinking that when the LOC wakes up

I'm going to say that I want to go...See his reaction. If he's over the top about wyh I can't go, then I'll say the kids stay home.

[DS1]

96. My Spidey Senses just blasted a 1 mile square web through the roof

of the house!

[tjdee]

97. So what you look like Mean Mom? So what?

I would have already told the kid she's staying home this time, and that South Dakota isn't that hot anyway, LOL.

No way. NO WAY. Because if she doesn't bring your children back, you're going to feel much worse than you will if your kids call you mean.

Also....and I'd be kind of pissed that LOC walks by his kid and totally ignores her. Not cool.

Hope things work out for you.

[skygazer]

98. I would listen to those spidey senses

Even if it's just a paranoid suspicion, you do NOT want to get in a position where you do not have physical custody of your kids because possession really is nine tenths of the law.

I have a 17 year old son I have seen once in 6 1/2 years. :cry: He asked to live with his dad when he was 11 - I reluctantly agreed because I had to move from my apartment (the building was sold) and was having trouble finding another place. His father and I have joint custody and I am supposed to have regular visitation. Nonetheless, that has not stopped his father from moving a considerable distance away, refusing to let my son visit me here, stonewalling every effort I make to see the kid, etc. He uses child support payments as a weapon, knows I cannot afford lawyers, legal fees and transportation costs (not to mention loss of work) to fight him in court.

I never in a million years thought this would happen and I'm now in the position of not even knowing my own child.

I would advise you to use a great deal of caution here. :hug:

[deadparrot]

101. I wouldn't doubt your "feelings" as a mother.

Weigh your options.

If you don't let the kids go, they'll probably be mad for a while. The younger they are, the shorter that period will be, I think.

If you do let them go, and something happens, the effects will be much more considerable.

If she's so desperate to spend time with the kids, Grandma can spend time with them *in town* for the time being.

Trust your instincts. You sound like a great mother.

[proud2BlibKansan]

103. Don't let them go!

One thing that no one has mentioned yet is that Sturgis is in SD and the big party there is set to start in a few weeks. I went last year. It is a little town that invites a million folks on motorcycles up there once a year. They hire cops from all over the country to help with crowd control during the 10 day long party every year. So if anything happens and you need help from law enforcement in SD, you will be shit out of luck.

I also agree that your MIL sounds like a freak who will jump at the chance to help LOC escape his marriage and take his kids with him.

[Not_Giving_Up]

104. I know that she originally wanted to take the trip a weeks later

However, school starts August 10th, so she moved the date to have them back in time for school. (That's the story)

[proud2BlibKansan]

105. Then they will be there right in the middle of Sturgis festivities

Not a good time to go to SD unless you are a biker. It would be incredibly easy to 'lose' a couple kids up there then. Don't mean to scare you, but it sounds like you have good reason to mistrust your MIL. And the LOC could be intending on hooking up with his ex GF. It just sounds really fishy to me.