I am in so much pain right now.

[coloradodem2005]

I am so in love with this older woman and she loves me but isn't in love with me. I do come through sometimes. But my awkwardness and seeming to misrepresent myself, I come off wrong to her. I also feel that I may never be able to truly give her what she needs. I want to win her heart, but I can't. And she has said that she is afraid because a lot of what she says can be hurtful to me. I just want to make her happy.

[wryter2000]

1. I'm sorry you're in pain

It doesn't sound as if this is going to work out for you. It's not the end of the world, honest. You'll get through this and be stronger for it.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

2. "I love you but I'm not in love with you."

Biggest brush off line in history. Why don't you find someone who will reciprocate your feelings.

[bicentennial_baby]

3. Exactly, Maddy

He deserves better than that tired old line.

[caty]

4. Usually when there is a romance between

a younger man and an older woman, when it ends, it is the woman who is hurt the most. Most women know this and try to avoid those kind of relationships. Friendship is fine, though.

[Madrone]

5. You need to rethink this:

I just want to make her happy.


What you should REALLY want is to make YOU happy. And I don't mean make yourself happy by being in a relationship, buying the perfect new car, having the right clothes --- I mean make yourself happy, content, and comfortable in your soul. That quiet comfort and confidence is a HUGE turn on to women. Unfortunately, the unsure of ones self needy clinginess is NOT. Women do not want to have to constantly reassure a man. If you keep seeking reassurance as to whether you're "good enough" eventually she'll start wondering if you are as well.

You're young, sweetie. It's OKAY that you haven't got the "comfortable in your own skin" thing down yet. Some people never get it. You CAN - and I think eventually you will. Be patient with yourself, but be aware.