"The Rules" for us guys!

[Archae]

Guys, unite! :rofl:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

[Bunny]

1. Quite a piece of misogynistic crap, isn't it?

:nuke:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

4. but...its mostly true.

sorry to say

[Bunny]

7. Well, that's one man's opinion.

"Man" being the operative word here.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

9. True, that is my opinion

I did find some of it a bit rude, like the fat joke, but otherwise, it does hit the nail on the head just a little

[Bunny]

12. See, and I think that's the biggest problem I have with it.

Some good natured joking about the differences between the sexes is fine, and often funny, but this veers into rude and mean very quickly. That's just my opinion, as a woman of course!

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

16. haha, and as a man, I do agree

that it does become a bit rude and mean-spirited, but it also makes fun of our weight as well: "Im in shape...round is a shape." Although, it is not as mean spirited as the jab at you ladies.

[MercutioATC]

35. What did you find particulary "rude" or "mean"?

Seriously, I'm asking...

[beam me up scottie]

26. That's the opinion of the freeps too,

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/924683/posts

Look at all the good company you're in.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

40. wow I feel so lucky!

:party:

[Archae]

6. It's a frikkin' JOKE...

Lighten up, for crying out loud!

[Bunny]

8. Wow, only six posts till we get the "lighten up" crowd!

That might just be a DU record! Congratulations - you are quite a guy!

[AverageJoe]

2. Nice!

I thought of sending this list to my wife, then I thought better of it....

[StopTheMorans]

3. SWEET!

*grabs front-row seat* :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn:

[StopTheMorans]

10. .

:kick:

[Blue-Jay]

28. Pass the corn, STM!

:popcorn:

[StopTheMorans]

29. gladly!

:popcorn:

[newportdadde]

32. Pulls up a chair.

:popcorn:

:nuke: :nuke:

[iamjoy]

5. Female Response

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Female Response:
It is a problem, maybe we should see a divorce lawyer instead.


More to come later, my break at work is over in 30 seconds.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

11. HAHA, thats a good response!

:rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

33. A headache that lasts 17 months?

Another possibility:

The woman has just put in eight hours at her job, made dinner, washed the dishes, bathed the kids and put them to bed, and done a load of laundry, while Mr. Macho refused to be diverted from his Holy and Sacred and Most Universally Profound and Meaningful Monday Night Football Game until the sight of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders made him horny.

[lukasahero]

44. Best. Answer. Ever. eom

[Chicago Democrat]

13. Round is a shape!

funny!

[chickenscratching]

14. looks like sexist rauch to me@!!!!

:patriot: im a TRUE patriot! hmm... :eyes:

[cheeseit]

15. lol

:rofl:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

17. Post something similar about gays, African-Americans, Jews, and Latinos

I dare you. Oh you can't? Then WHY do you think you can post sexist BS on a progressive message board?

[Archae]

19. Why not make a set of "rules" for the ladies in repsonse?

I posted this becuase it pokes fun at how stupid us guys can be at times, does it get a bit misogynistic? Yes.

So write up an answer intead of waving the "politically incorrect" flags.

[Name removed]

20. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[progmom]

25. thank you for your enlightened response

:eyes:

[beam me up scottie]

27. You just admitted that it's misogynistic.

Yet you couldn't help yourself, you just had to post it here to show us how little you think of us.

Thanks.

And not allowing hate speech is not politically correct, it's a liberal progressive value that apparently has gone right over your pointy little head.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

39. You know there's virtually no genetic difference between various races

This has been proven.

However, there is a large, rather obvious genetic difference between men and women.

Hence, I find a bit of a problem with the "replace women with x,y or z".

It's not a valid comparison.

Or do you feel that there is no biological difference between men and women?

On edit: Vive la difference!

[sui generis]

18. I think this is hilarious

not like the ladies don't have their own lists about us - they just pass them around in secret.

Probably shouldn't have posted it here though - too many people who don't have the tiniest ability to laugh at anything sitting around with their thumbs up their butts looking for people to accuse of misogynistic behavior.

:popcorn:


- just stirring the pot. There is definitely a double standard here.

[progmom]

24. my thumb is nowhere near my butt

but i think this is an inappropriate post. :hi:

[beam me up scottie]

31. Like freepers ?

They thought it was hysterical, too.
But as long as we don't hold progressives to higher standards, hell, why not ?
Let's start bashing muslims and telling racist jokes, after all, too many people who don't have the tiniest ability to laugh at anything sitting around with their thumbs up their butts looking for people to accuse of racist and intolerant behavior.

[greeneyedpookie]

21. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

This is too funny, :rofl: and I am a female. Just have to have a sense of humor for this stuff. I work with all men, the only woman in the office. One has to take stuff lightly.

GEP

:bounce:

[StopTheMorans]

22. just passing through

:kick:

[beam me up scottie]

23. Steal that from your pals at Freeperville, did you ?

*********
LADIES - Learn The RULES!!!!!!
Unknown | Unknown | Random E-Mail

Posted on 06/06/2003 7:55:04 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1

OK LADIES - LEARN THE RULES!!!!!!

The Rules developed by National Fairness to Men Organization. This time like the "United States Constitution" these rules are developed by Men. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
*********


http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/924683/posts

[MercutioATC]

30. Misogynistic??? How petty ARE we now?

This list does what ten thousand chain e-mails have done in the past - illustrate the differences in the way men and women percieve things in a simplified and humorous manner...

...this time, however, from a male standpoint.

There's a problem with this?

:eyes:

[beam me up scottie]

36. Would you say the same if it targeted

blacks ?
How long would it last if it was offensive to Jews ?

[Solly Mack]

34. Sounds like excerpts from "Never Been Laid and Don't Know Why" by

Harry Palmer...

[beam me up scottie]

41. Why didn't the op credit the author ?

Is he allowed to plagiarize on DU ?

[ghostsofgiants]

42. Now THAT was funny

[lukasahero]

37. So basically, men are classless, self-absorbed jerks who really don't give

a flying fig about the feelings of the women they purport to love. Glad you said it and not me.

BTW, if you think this is insulting to women, think of all the men who don't fit the "I'm ignorant and like it that way" role model you've swiped from FR.

[Hosnon]

43. I think it is funny stuff - we can identify with this without being

"ignorant," "classless, self absorbed jerks."

[Hosnon]

38. Hehe - very good stuff. I can identify with most of them.

[brainshrub]

45. Locking.

When men have been treated like cattle by women for a few thousand years, we'll go ahead and write a series of rules. In the meantime, respect your mothers and sisters.