I will now stick my head into this woodchipper.

[ulysses]

Birthmom was using crack and drinking heavily at least three months into the pregnancy. She refused a drug test earlier this month, so she may still be using.

This after assuring us there was no exposure whatsoever.

:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:
:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:
:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

So, we have more decisions to make. I've seen some of the worst results of FAS, and we're not prepared to adopt a profoundly disabled child.

:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:
:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:
:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

[LynzM]

1. Ulysses, I am so sorry to hear that

What a @#$@#@#$@!!!! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
And :hug: :hug: :hug:

[ulysses]

4. thanks, Lynz

I feel like I've really been venting a lot about the adoption stuff here. I guess anyone who's sick of it'll just put me on ignore. ;-)

[LynzM]

5. You're welcome

I tend to read but not reply to a lot of stuff like that, people's life dramas, but this.... damn, dude. I'm sorry :(

[ewagner]

2. I don't know

what makes me feel worse:

Sadness for a child born with FAS, or

Sadness for you losing your dream....

at any rate, I'm very, very sorry to hear this news...:cry:

[ulysses]

7. well,

we're going to stick with it for the time being, I think. Better us than DFACS, I think.

[ewagner]

8. Good luck Ulysses!

May your patience and courage be rewarded with joy and properity.

[GOPisEvil]

3. Oh...no...damn.

My thoughts to you and Mrs. Uly...:hug:

[ulysses]

13. appreciate that.

I'm gonna make you the godfather when we *do* adopt. :D

[GOPisEvil]

17. Now that's an offer I can't refuse.

:7

[LynneSin]

6. Have you considered foreign adoption

I had a family member with a very sucessful overseas adoption. It's horrible that you and your wife must go through such horrors and it's obvious that the birthmom is using (if she isn't why would she refuse testing :shrug: ).

:grouphug: hang in there. BTW, don't write off FAS completely. I think even some DUers have mentioned here on the board that they were born addicted to something really nasty and yet they've turned out ok.

Let's hope for the best!

:loveya:

[ulysses]

12. yeah.

We're into the domestic effort for about $25k at this point, a lot of which we borrowed from family. We're looking at going overseas again, but it'll be at least a year before we can swing that.

I think even some DUers have mentioned here on the board that they were born addicted to something really nasty and yet they've turned out ok.

That's true. FAS can be particularly bad, though, so we're just waiting to see. We probably won't hear anything from her again until she's in labor, if then.

Thanks, Lynne. :hi:

[KG]

9. sorry, bro.

:(

maybe you could adopt me instead. i'm house trained and i don't eat much.

[ulysses]

14. but would you fit into the crib?

:silly:

Thanks, Kirk. :hi:

[Debbi801]

10. I'm really sorry...

:hug:

What a terrible situation, for the baby and your family. :-(

[redqueen]

11. Aw, uly...

I'm so sorry to hear this... :(

:pals:

[MissB]

15. Oh shit.

I am so sorry.

Whatever decision you make, it'll be the right one for your family. :hug:

[ulysses]

20. thanks.

:)

[leftofthedial]

16. I'm sorry, man.

But say hello to Steve Buscemi if you see him!

[ulysses]

21. heh!

"That must be your friend there in the wood chipper"

:D

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. Oh.. I am sorry *hugs* I pray that this baby will somehow emerge

unscathed.

[ulysses]

19. we can deal with

an assortment of delays and disabilities, just not the kind that mean round-the-clock care and a radically shortened life span, like some of the FAS kids I've seen. It's a waiting game, yet again.

Thanks for the well-wishes. :)