my eardrum is hemorrhaging & i'm seeking medical advice from the lounge

[sundog]

seems like the logical thing to do :P

[motely36]

1. Just cut the ear off

You have another one right?

[sundog]

3. what should i use?

[motely36]

6. I have some rusty hedge clippers somewhere

...I'll be right back

:)

[sundog]

9. ok

:7

[Midlodemocrat]

2. Actually, I think you should cut your whole head off.

Might as well get it over with.

[sundog]

4. will they be able to sew it back on?

[comradebillyboy]

5. see your doctor asap

nt

[sundog]

7. what sort of specialist?

[ET Awful]

8. I keep telling you Q-Tips, not Ice Picks

But you never listen.

[sundog]

10. i know i don't listen... that's the point

duh :P

[texas1928]

11. HUH?

What did you say?

[givemebackmycountry]

12. 2 Words

BLACK & DECKER

[madinmaryland]

13. How many times does it have to be said:

don't put the q-tips in the ears.



Leave it to the professionals.

[peacebuzzard]

14. I hope you are kidding. A burst eardrum is a serious medical condition.

If you are bleeding from your ear, go immediately to the emergency room or your primary physician if you have one.

[peekaloo]

15. ear tampon, stat!

[sui generis]

16. oh this is easy

if you have a foreign object jammed in your ear, such as an ice pick or a small garden spade, first remove the foreign object.

Note: this may cause massive blood loss as the blood vessel begins to spurt, especially if you are hemorrhaging from a major artery.

Next, tilt your head to the side and disinfect the wound. You can do this by gently swabbing the area with gauze soaked in 70% alcohol, over the counter hydrogen peroxide, mild soap and water, or flaming gasoline.

After you have regained consciousness and/or finished screaming and whimpering helplessly from the pain and smell of burnt flesh, you may wish to close the wound yourself. Please note, you should NEVER use an electric stapler or carpenter's framing gun to close a wound, as you may inadvertantly lobotomize yourself.

Only as a last resort should you call the doctor, as they don't always know what they're doing or may not have time to see you. You may instead wish to log on to your favorite political website and explain that you have a gushing flaming head wound first however, and seek medical advice from a bunch of strangers.

:evilgrin:

[sundog]

23. 'only as a last resort should you call the doctor'

:thumbsup:

[gmoney]

17. While others help, I will pray...

Is your babelfish part shark?

[sundog]

32. thank you this will help most of all

:grouphug:

[LynneSin]

18. Try pouring salt on it

:D

[progmom]

19. cut it off and we'll call you sun Gogh

[sui generis]

26. ohhhhhh

oh no you dint

good one (holds head, groans)

[progmom]

30. oh yesh i did

:evilgrin:

[sundog]

31. i suffer for my art

:7

[redqueen]

20. .

:rofl:

[rateyes]

21. How close does Mike Tyson live to you...

I'm told that he can just bite it off.

[Zuni]

22. just cram a hot dog in there for a while

at the next convienant time, stop by the emergency room for an ear drum check, hot dog removal combo

:P

[Mr.Green93]

24. Loud sounds or music

will help harden off the injury.

[Debbi801]

25. Can you take a picture of the wound for us to evaluate?

That will definitely help give the correct advice.

Without the picture, i'd say pour alcohol into your ear to sterilize it. Then, stuff a bunch of gauze pads inside and tape it closed with duct tape. :-)

[sundog]

27. ok..

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3692356

[sui generis]

28. and this one

damn earlobe, damn coffee grinder, who knew? :shrug:

[sundog]

29. figure 3-15 will be a great help

:thumbsup:

[ProfessorGAC]

33. Why? Frist Wouldn't Need Pictures To Diagnose

The Professor