Should I publish this?

[Wetzelbill]

I have a love-hate relationship with poetry. I like my other writing way better. I don't know, I'd appreciate any comments on this.

BITTER WORDS

There she was, only twenty, a little lady
with chestnut hair, sauntering past my eyes
and a row of desks, a big, black belt around
her hips, the briefest glance jolts my lightning
crashing; the monsoon drizzles her bitter words

A Navajo poet - or what I imagined was one-
once called her “the petite girl who always wore
the white dress,” a static, thunder-filled dress by
its own merit, but I sing Blackfeet warrior songs
in my urban, desert shower about that cinched belt

Those torrential words! Swarming ubiquitous while
I empathize her life, leafing through courage, finding
similarities which may join us at those hips, drunk on
minute memories we salvage together, intoxicated by
alcohol I will never taste, storming electrical sobriety

A German Pikuni, and an American Jew, I may love
her for that reason alone; So what would Hitler, White
Calf, TR and Ariel Sharon think? Surely,“ why the hell
not?” If only she’d be foolish enough to fall in love with
a man who would give her an oppressed drunk of a child

Then the desert blooms like Browning, Montana,
festive, ripe as Indian Days in summer time, Yet
I’m squalled over by bittersweet rain; longing to be
gripped like her belt. That I could definitely handle!
I would capture those words to a reservation home

We could ride around in my ugly green reservation car
except that the mechanic sold it, because I never paid to
get it from his shop, How embarrassing for her; a raging
tempest speechless! Blushing from white trash indigenous
shame. But, she is accustomed to disappointment anyway

Still, she is endearing: feminist yet fragile, opinionated and
reticent, her words contrasting strength and vulnerability;
this is when she is at her sexy, enthralling best, making me
forget I swore off of white girls, since my friend married
one for a month that did not last until death tore them apart

“You’re too much,” she says. This bad boy who is not one;
her brilliant, acrid words scorching smooth like Thunderbird
Now, I’ll leave where there are no monsoons, tightly cinched
black belts, and the big powwow is over, I’m finished. Bitter.
Raining. Remembering the days I made her bitter words laugh

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. Yes

Because if no one buys it, your poetry still speaks from your heart.

I'm no critic, so I can't really comment on the technical elements other than to say that it reads easily for me. I write poems and find myself too embarrassed to show them to anyone. You're very brave! :-)

[Wetzelbill]

4. I used to be embarrassed to do so

as well, but I made myself start doing it. Writing is what I do so, it's important that I shed my insecurities and just jump into it. But, thank you for your comments. I appreciate them.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I think you should publish it...it's lovely.

I don't entirely get it, but I still think you should publish it. Even though I don't entirely get it, I enjoyed reading it and experiencing it and all the images contained in it.

Go for it! :applause:

[Wetzelbill]

5. part of writing poetry

is making it so that a poem is difficult to understand. So a reader has to take the time to read it over and over and over and learn more about the poem and sometimes even the author and themselves too. It's unusual I know, but I'm glad you liked it.

[knowbody0]

3. i smiled Wetzilbill

yeah, you made me smile..............

[Wetzelbill]

6. Thank you

you made me smile right back.

So I'm thinking you understand my rez references, huh? :)

[knowbody0]

7. oh yeah

you made me miss the rez, but pow wow this weekend! yahoo

[Wetzelbill]

8. I'm missing it too

I'll probably move back to MT here in the next six months, so I'll be a lot closer to my friends and family and everything. That's the hardest part of it for me, is being away from such a communal, caring lifestyle, where everybody is so close.

[knowbody0]

9. i love going back and forth

it's a dichotomy!