I had one of these so-called "Nice Guys" doing me favors.

[redqueen]

I thought he was a friend. That's what he acted like, at first. If he had asked me out initially, I'd have said no. We didn't "click". We hung out, partied, and had a great time... for a while.

He didn't say he was attracted to me as someone to date, not at first... he just acted like a friend. I say "acted like" because once he'd had enough acting like a "Nice Guy", he started being who he really was -- a pushy, insensitive person who expected something for his kindness. But that's not kindness... that's bartering.

So, moral of the story is, don't expect that a woman will fall for you just because you're nice to her. Romantic interest is a mysterious thing. Treating it like a mathematical equation just isn't going to work.

[Cerridwen]

1. :-) Is your thread title intentional or freudian?

:rofl:

edited to add: no offense or spelling nazism intended.

[motely36]

3. whichever

it is really funny

:rofl:

[ohiosmith]

6. Great catch.

:rofl:

[redqueen]

7. What...?

I think I might see it... but I'm not sure.

:shrug:

I'm so dense sometimes. :P

edit: oops... neverind... caught it. Thanks. :) :blush:

[Cerridwen]

8. Oh, dong rather than doIng

LMAO.


edit: awwww, you fixed it.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

"dong" and not "doing."

[Pobeka]

9. doing, not dong. n/t

[Cerridwen]

12. Too funny. Best laugh I've had all day. Sorry I took away

from your post, though. My bad. But a damned good belly laugh.

:toast:

[redqueen]

13. No worries!

It was funny... glad it made a few people laugh. :)

[Fenris]

2. Your title...

:rofl:

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

4. Please don't change the title of this thread.

Not until I can recommend it for the home page.

BEST...TITLE...EVER.

:toast:

:evilgrin:

[BlueJazz]

5. I usually prefer just to "Be Myself" and let the chips...

..fall where they may....I mean..you can't put on an act forever.

[Schema Thing]

10. Am I correct to read that title in a bit of an Irish accent?

Aye, e's dong me favors, 'e 'as.

[Kraklen]

11. LOL

I was *snarf* going to *ha* go on a rant about the whole *guffaw* complaint about "women don't want nice guys" being sour grapes but *snicker* your title *pff* ...

:rofl:

[GOPisEvil]

14. Sometimes men confuse a woman being nice as a sign she's interested.

Signed,

Been there, done that. Many times.

It seems we don't communicate very well as a rule. :sigh:

[redqueen]

16. That's weird... because

my husband tells me that the only reason men are nice to women is because they want to $#&* them.

Is that true? Could this be a problem where men project their own behavior onto women, and interpret what women do in that light?

[GOPisEvil]

18. I don't know. Maybe there's some truth to that.

Still, if we communicated better (both genders) life would be much better. I know I have communication problems sometimes.

Sigh...now I'm perplexed and thinking deeply. I need some music or something.

[redqueen]

21. Listen with me... we shall chill.

*puts on some Calexico for you*

I hope that's not true (what my husband says)... I truly, truly do.

[GOPisEvil]

24. Ooooh...Calexico...

Ahhhhh...

I'm really doing some thinking about what your husband says and how I treat people. I'm generally nice to everyone, but I might be a tad nicer to women I am attracted to. It still goes back to communication skills, which I lack at times. :)

[redqueen]

26. I think that's perfectly logical, though...

of course you'll be a tad nicer to those you're attracted to... but that doesn't mean you're only nice to women you're attracted to... so yay!

:)

[GOPisEvil]

28. OK, I'm glad I'm not a cad.

:)

[SmokingJacket]

27. Wouldn't it be great if people were honest, and said...

"Hi, I'm being nice to you because I want to get in your pants."

Or, "Hi, I'm being nice to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings, but honestly you have greasy hair and there's no way I could ever have sex with a guy who talks about bowhunting as much as you do."

Ah.... how refreshing...

[GOPisEvil]

29. I don't need that level of honesty.

But if were a bit more direct instead of hinting about, and hoping the other party catches the hint, maybe we'd be a bit happier.

But, then we'd figure something else to whine about I suppose.

[redqueen]

30. 'Cause whining is fun!

:bounce:

[GOPisEvil]

32. We're Doug and Wendy Whiiiiiiner...

...damn, where did that come from? :D

[Cerridwen]

33. Yeah, especially the kind that goes with cheese.

:evilgrin:

[Cerridwen]

15. Here is my reply to one of the many posts today about

"why women prefer "bad boys""

It is a fantasy situation created by a bunch of jerks and assholes, used to perpetuate the idea that women prefer assholes and jerks, thereafter referred to as "bad boys" in order that said assholes and jerks can get laid, which has invaded our collective pool of "common knowledge."

Treating another human being like a punching bag or like dirt does not equal a "bad boy." It equals a monstrous, violent bully.

Controlling and passive aggressive behavior disguised as "helping" and "supporting" does not equal "nice guy." It equals abusive, controlling monster.

edited to add: turning around and constantly finding one's relationship partner observing one, is stalking - not the romantic fantasy "Hollywood" would have us believe.

[redqueen]

17. I love you!

:loveya:

So many wonderful people on this forum... I love this place! :D

[Cerridwen]

20. Aw, thanks.

:blush:

[The_Casual_Observer]

19. Is it possible for a man & woman to be "friends"?

Without sex entering the picture at some point? I don't think my wife would be too happy about me having a close friendship with a woman.

[redqueen]

22. I think so.

Many disagree.

:shrug:

However, you have to more clearly define what you mean by "sex entering the picture". Do you mean desire? Actual sex? Sexual thoughts without any real desire?

I know I've had friendships with men wherein *I* felt no sexual desire for them, nor detected any from them...

[GaYellowDawg]

23. Of course it is.

One of my best friends in grad school is a woman. We make great friends. Neither of us is attracted to the other physically. We are very compatible as friends but would be a disaster in a relationship, and both of us know it. No sparks. Just friendship... and it's cool.

[Cerridwen]

25. Depends on the relationship

This is my opinion and experience, of course.

One of the many things my boyfriend and I discussed and about which we agreed from the very first days of our relationship was, we both have pasts - I'm 47, he's 43 and we each have good friendships "left over" from past romantic relationships - if either one of us was uncomfortable about that, it was time to "move on." I have no problem with it, he has no problem with it. But we discussed it up front, no surprises, no assumptions.

[skygazer]

31. My best friend is a man

We've been best friends since we met 12 years ago. It's never been remotely about sex - both of us have had various relationships throughout and now he is married and I am in a committed relationship and we remain best friends. And both out SO's are fine with that.

The friends I originally lived with when I moved to California six years ago were both men. We had a two bedroom place. Since we all worked different hours, I and the guy who worked graveyards shared a bed, me at night, him in the day. On his off days, we shared it together platonically. There was nothing between any of the three of us and no desire for there to be. We used to joke about it with others who thought it was odd - for us, it was just our living arrangement. I'm still great friends with both those guys, both of whom my SO is friendly with as well.

It's a matter of honesty (with oneself as well as others) and maturity.

[no name no slogan]

34. Absolutely

I've done it numerous times. I'm one of those guys who just prefers the company of women-- mainly because I have more in common with most women than I do most men.

That's not to say I don't have guy friends. I have many very close guy friends who are a lot like me-- not hung up on how "manly" they can be, or how chauvanistic they can act.

Not every guy wants to sleep with every woman he meets.

[NashVegas]

36. Sure, Especially If You've Got Hang-Ups

My platonic relationships with men are a whole string of close, but not too close. Now that I've finally identified the underlying issue I'm done with that shit.

[Dr Fate]

35. I've known that since a was 17- nice guys finish last.

Whether it's real or a put on, the results are likely the same!