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Any other Step-Parents of teens here? ARRGGGHH!

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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-21-05 11:57 PM
Original message
Any other Step-Parents of teens here? ARRGGGHH!
Just ARRRRGHHH!!!!

Tried to be kind showing her how to drive a stick-shift.

All the horror's that involves.

Come back.

Spat with her Dad.

Suddenly I'm a f-c-in' bitch who fu-ks my own teen son.

Enough.

Back to her Momma for tonight.

Kids about used up all the relatives that will tolerate her.

Her Mom doesn't want her either.
But that's where she went.

But she was also getting violent.

And the cops were called but refused to take a juvenile in on simple assault.

Send us your vibes, wishes or prayers.

Thanks.
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liss681 Donating Member (227 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-21-05 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
1. Nope
but I was one of those pain in the ass teenagers who had a step-parent... I sympathize with you!!!!
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:03 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Thanks. You grew up. But....It's hard to see a future good result ...
...when the fur is flying.
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liss681 Donating Member (227 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:05 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. My mom sent me to
juvenile detention. It tends to change your attitude on things.
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. Her Mom has final say on that. Keeps giving the little brat 3,452 chances
Edited on Fri Jul-22-05 12:19 AM by alphafemale
Bad call, against MANY people's advice to her.

She off to yet another person to alienate tomorrow.
(The sister of a brother-in-law)

Her grandparents are done, her older siblings are done, her aunts are done, her Mom's done, her younger brother is done, MY kids are done

I say rather than the 3,000 plus chance for "the poor thing" Yeah. I bought that game a while.

It's better for her to have some shock/boot camp now.

Than as an adult in 6 months.

The kid physically assaults.
Then threatens you to not defend yourself.

She's even laid marks on herself and called DFACS.

About 5 cases dropped so far on various people.
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RubyDuby in GA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 03:57 PM
Response to Reply #8
26. She sounds mentally unbalanced
Ever been checked out? If for no other reason than to protect your own children, I'd look into it.

Best wishes. Take care of yourself. :hug:
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-21-05 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
2. Wha?
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. That's what I said.
Beginning to think you can't be kind to some kids.

They'll suck it in and use you up.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:06 AM
Response to Original message
6. I used to be. Mine was in to stealing cars for joy rides...
Dozens of them! He turned out to be a great person! My own youngest son... Well, you don't want to know.
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:24 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. This one has some animal cruelty in her past
Edited on Fri Jul-22-05 12:24 AM by alphafemale
Hard to Rationalize that.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 01:03 AM
Response to Reply #9
13. She probably needs a shrink.
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. She's gone through about 4 of 5 of them now.
Edited on Fri Jul-22-05 08:50 AM by alphafemale
Her Mom keeps switching Doc's everytime the kid whimpers about not liking whoever she's seeing.
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Frances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 03:51 PM
Response to Reply #14
24. This sounds very bad indeed
The only other thing I can suggest is that perhaps you can consult someone about how to do a family intervention the way I've heard some people have done with alcoholics.

I gather that the way this works is that all the people she has hurt get together and talk with her at one time (in this person's case, I think you would definitely need a professional there).
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Frances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:11 AM
Response to Original message
7. My sympathy
Teens are tough! And they do play off parents against each other. I suggest family counseling.
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:26 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. Oh hell . Been doing THAT.
The Momma switches counselers every time the Kid moans she's uncomfortable.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:42 AM
Response to Original message
11. Keeping you in my thoughts...
I'm glad it wasn't that bad with my stepsons! It'll be best for your stepdaughter if all the adults are on the same wavelength, and don't allow her to manipulate them.

Try to find time when things have cooled down to talk with her about what you can all do to put a stop to this. Counseling will help, if you can get her to go.

:hug::hug::hug: for you and your family...
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #11
15. Thanks. Not sure the kid has a calm mode when you are trying to...
talk to her about her behavior.

She flashes to screaming, cursing, throwing things, kicking, swinging immediately.

And I do mean cursing.
Linda Blair has nothing on this one.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #15
21. Then I'd say definitely get her into counseling
for her own sake as much as everyone else's. That kind of anger can quickly lead to self-inflicted injuries.

Get together with her dad and mom and step-dad if she has one and work together to beat this thing. She may feel at first like you're ganging up on her; but she'll eventually realize how much you all love her.

Courage! :hug:
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liberaltrucker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 12:50 AM
Response to Original message
12. You have my sympathy
Edited on Fri Jul-22-05 12:52 AM by liberaltrucker
And prayers. My stepdaughter has had 2 beautiful daughters we had to adopt, 'cause she likes screwing, but not responsibility. Jeez, I should be a conservative....NOT!!
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 08:58 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. I really hope this one clues in before she gets in serious trouble.
She'll be a legal adult soon, and the cops and courts will suddenly stop playing with her.

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GalleryGod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 09:05 AM
Response to Original message
17. I Have Four (yes,4) StepChildren; Not Smooth Sailin'-but
I wouldn't give back the experience for another type of life.
Step Parenting is a thankless task..very difficult...but it sure beat the shit out of being a bachelor in Miami Beach.:puffpiece:
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 10:12 AM
Response to Reply #17
20. Wow. Talk about outnumbered!
:D
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Mizmoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
18. Having been that kid once I'd like to say
Edited on Fri Jul-22-05 09:14 AM by Mizmoon
that no one understood me. I was not bad. I was not crazy. I was angry because my parents were divorced, that I had to tolerate some strange woman who married my father and though that meant she had some kind of authority over me, and my life was a big jumbled mess no thanks to the selfish adults around me who thought they were god's gift to parenting.

These same adults expected me to shut up, sit up straight, and be quiet about it all. Oh, and to do what I was told and obey them like they were Lords and I was a serf. That is not the way I decided to handle it. I decided to make them as miserable as they made me. In the end we were all miserable.

Just trying to remind you there's two sides to every story.

edited to insert missing word
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 10:09 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. This kid is way past normal rebellion and teen angst.
Her issues are deeper than that.
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ArkDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
22. Why did she and her dad spit?
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. Split?
Edited on Fri Jul-22-05 03:41 PM by alphafemale
Well.

It had nothing to do with me.

They'd split years before we even met.
And him and I have been together MUCH longer than they were.

Reason?
Just incompatible, I'd guess.

She's a racist, homophobe, rw zealot and he isn't.
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ArkDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 03:53 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. >Spat with her Dad.
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-05 04:05 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. He tried to set limits on her internet use because she was abusing it.
A reasonible consequence for a kid's misbehavior, but she went ballistic.
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