Great Moments in Conservative History

[zbdent]

A little something I'm working on . . .

Great moments in Conservative history:

Billions of years ago: one single-cell life form to the next: "Hey, I ain't gonna go multicell. That's unnatural."

Some time later: "Lungs? What do you need lungs for? I ain't leaving the ocean."

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Old Testament quote left out of the Bible: "So the Jews are wandering around the desert? Let them. That should get rid of them."

Another Old Testament quote left out: "TEN COMMANDMENTS? Oh, great. More government regulation! Who died and elected him God?"

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20 or so AD: "Did you hear about this nut? First, he talks for several hours to these idiots sitting around him, and then he gives them lunch! FOR FREE! Let's get Caeser to get rid of this idiot. I mean, he doesn't even have a restaurant license."

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1455: "A printing press? Why? Who needs to read?"

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1770s: "I don't want to break from English rule. Look, we're going into debt to the French, for pete's sake! Who's gonna pay those bills? I'm in line to be a Duke, anyway!"

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1840s: "Why should anybody go to school? There's farm work to be done."

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1860: "Dammit, the Government isn't going to take away my property! I paid good money for those n-ggers! Where do I sign up to break free from those damn liberals!"

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1915: "Those bastards in Washington took away most of my labor force! Imagine that! All my 8-year old workers are now criminals if they work!"

1920: "Damn! Those idiots in Washington think that a woman knows enough to vote? Why'd they have to screw up the Constitution?"

1939: "I don't care what that nutty Hitler does. It ain't affecting me."

12/8/1941 (actual quote of an Ohio congressman's father, reported in the Akron Beacon Journal, regarding FDR): "THAT DAMN CRIPPLE GOT US INTO WAR!"

1968: "Civil rights? Don't them Negroes have too many rights already?"

1971: "Kids these days aren't smart enough to vote; leave the voting age at 21. Besides, goin' off to war will help the learn about life - so they can understand things better WHEN THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE."

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. Here's my list of great moments in conservative history:

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[Reverend_Smitty]

2. lol thats funny

and someone probably said those exact things at the time

[Allenberg]

4. Quite the shame, isn't it?

[Reverend_Smitty]

6. it is

now if only we could get conservatives to look back at the silliness of past conservatives we might get them to see the light...probably not on second thought

[XemaSab]

3. Amen to that

n/t

[Felix Mala]

5. 1999: 'There ought to be limits to freedom.' - George W. Bush,

[johnnie]

7. Here is one

"We need to counter the shock wave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates."
George W. Bush
Washington D.C.; October 4, 2001

[MountainLaurel]

8. Love it, and nominated

:applause:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

9. 800,000 years ago:

What are you grabbing that bone for? Aren't the hands the Great God Ugh gave you good enough for hunting?