I would like an honest opinion about dating.

[XemaSab]

Would you ever not date someone because they are in a dead-end job?

Like, say, 30 and working at Starbucks with no sign of ever changing careers? If you can call working at Starbucks a career?

Or am I being an elitist snob?

[WCGreen]

1. Dating is for snicks.....

Why, are you afraid this person will turn out to be the one?>?>

Heaven forbid yo should find love with one of the proletariate

[XemaSab]

3. I heard proles have cooties

n/t

[WCGreen]

5. Cooties suck man......

[orleans]

29. there's a cootie on my patio right now, as big as a buick!

help! help! big bad cootie on my patio!

[XemaSab]

30. wow!

you have a picture????

[REP]

2. When We Met

Loved One was 27 and managed a futon store. Now he's a software engineer for Apple.

Depends upon the person - he had potential.

[Wetzelbill]

4. no, I'd be willing to give just about anybody a chance

If they work hard they have that going for them. That's fine. That and if they are a decent person. It all depends on the total package too.

[Heidi]

7. Right on!

It depends on how that person feels about his/her job situation, too. For me, how much money my husband makes or doesn't make isn't important, because I've been more than self-supporting since I started working. But some folks' self-image is very much linked to their income, and I guess I wouldn't want to be hooked up with someone with a lot of self-loathing issues. :shrug:

[Spider Jerusalem]

6. That wouldn't bother me so much as long as they met other criteria...

like intelligence, personality, sense of humour, and so on. But then I'm not particularly status-conscious or worried about what other people might think.

[Heidi]

9. Exactly.

If you aren't already someone's SO, you're gonna be a great one when it happens.

[Spider Jerusalem]

11. Not at the moment, sadly.

Things seem to keep not working out. Haven't quite lost hope yet, though.

[Heidi]

13. Don't ever give up on _you_.

That's the main thing. :pals:

[XemaSab]

8. It's not about the actual status

so much as the initiative or lack thereof.

I worked really hard to get a degree and land a professional job, and I really value having meaningful work. I don't understand someone who has meaningless work that pays little and who is happy with that.

[Spider Jerusalem]

10. Maybe he sees work as a means to an end.

Something that allows him the degree of financial freedom necessary to do what he DOES find meaningful. That's different for everyone; not everyone is going to be fulfilled working in a corporate-type job (in fact, a lot of people would find it spirit-crushing and soul-killing). We all have to do what's best for ourselves, and not assume it's going to be best for everyone...

[XemaSab]

12. this is true

I guess it's just a contrast from what I usually go for.

I like lads who have complicated and brainy jobs (physicist, ecologist, biologist, programmer, etc).

[Spider Jerusalem]

16. Complicated and brainy people...

needn't have complicated and brainy jobs; the smartest man on the planet (supposedly) is a bar bouncer who works on developing a grand unified theory in his spare time.

[XemaSab]

18. is the dude

going to be a bar bouncer when he's 50?

[Spider Jerusalem]

19. Why does that matter?

You're kinda hung up on the material success thing, eh?

[XemaSab]

22. it's not about the money

so much as the lifestyle.

I want to go to peru. I want someone who can pay his own way to peru.

Also, I'm worried that the lack of ambition careerwise is indicative of a deeper character flaw.

[Spider Jerusalem]

25. Then it IS about the money.

Putting it that way is just a little disingenuous. Not that travelling to Peru is ferociously expensive (unless you insist on flying first class and staying in four-star hotels, that is).

Excessive ambition can be just as much of a character flaw as lack of it, anyway...viewing everything in terms of material and financial success seems like a sign of a deeply shallow and rather diseased spirit, IMO.

[XemaSab]

27. I'm worried that I look like a jerk

for asking the question.

I don't think I suffer from excessive ambition, and I've dated lads who were dangerously close.

Maybe it's not about the job, but that's the thing I'm focusing on. I want someone who WANTS to go to peru. Want to go to peru and look at birds?

[Spider Jerusalem]

32. Only if it involves a trip to Machu Picchu...

I've wanted to go there since I was nine. Tierra del Fuego and the Galapagos, too, long as you're talking about SOuth America....

[XemaSab]

33. I'll pass on the Galapagos

but I'd be all over Maccu Piccu...

[Spider Jerusalem]

35. Oh, come on...

several unique bird and animal species not found anywhere else...how could you pass on that?

[XemaSab]

37. eh... not enough birds for the buck

I'd rather see some of the 3500+ birds on the mainland of south america.

I'm shallow that way.

[alarcojon]

45. You'll pass on the Galapagos?!?!?

snokeling with the sea lions was transcendent....



not that there's anything wrong with Macchu Picchu!

[XemaSab]

60. Sea lions are mammals.

Mammals are overrated.

[alarcojon]

108. Well, if you prefer iguanas...

[XemaSab]

112. Iguanas are passe

n/t

[Kenneth ken]

36. going to Peru

here's a couple different ways to think about that.

If your Starbucks guy wanted to go to Peru, he could save up some money, quit his job and spend six months in Peru, truly getting to know the country.

Could you? Or would it adversely impact your career?

A lifestyle can be career-oriented with exotic vacations, where a life can be something much more fluid and open to discovery.

I'm not saying your specific Starbucks guy is the type who could do the six-months-in-Peru thing, but that their are people who view life in that sort of context.

I think your original question is fair, and doesn't make you look a jerk.

:hi:

[XemaSab]

38. good point

I have a friend who does that, works as a waiter for 6 months and then goes to india for 6 months. that seems to work out pretty well for him.

I, sadly, could not go to peru for 6 months. :cry:

[I Have A Dream]

99. I think that you already know that this person is not for you.

He/she might be a great person but your outlooks on life are not the same.

I think that you'd like to be the type of person who accepts people for exactly who they are, but you can't force yourself to feel something that you don't.

Whether it "makes you look bad" or not, it's the truth and it will always bother you, in my opinion.

None of us is perfect, and you deserve to find someone who matches what you want in life.

If this bothers you, being honest with yourself about how you really feel might be the first step to figuring out why this is and ultimately no longer feeling this way.

Keep this in mind though -- many men don't feel this way (i.e., expecting a woman to be ambitious.) Because of this, they have more mates from which they can choose.

Heterosexual women are expected by society to find older men and men who are more successful than we are (or at least the same age and just as successful). The older and more successful we are, the fewer potential mates we have using this rule. Wonder who arranged this societal norm... Hmmmm....

Good luck, and be honest about what you want and can live with long term.

[XemaSab]

102. Insightful post

I noticed that most of the responses were from men, who have a different outlook on these matters.

I'd worry about getting involved, then deciding it was a deal breaker and really hurting him. I don't want to hurt people, but I also have to be true to myself.

Thanks for the post.

[serryjw]

87. How old is he?

What are his future plans?

[XemaSab]

97. 28

and I don't know what his plans for the future are.

[hfojvt]

17. like my old job working in the field of weapons of mass destruction

is more meaningful than cleaning toilets? It was more complicated and brainy, and paid better. But meaningful?

Also I found that I had to take what the job market gave me. If I held out for something meaningful I would have starved to death a couple decades ago.

[XemaSab]

21. jefe didn't finish his degree

which is tantamout to giving up on getting a professional job without a LOT of talent and drive.

I cleaned the toilet at my job last week, in between writing TPS reports and planning the downfall of industrial society. Virtually all jobs have some component of less meaningful work, but I couldn't stand being in a job that didn't let me use my brain at all.

[hfojvt]

39. how is completing a necessary task "less" meaningful?

Almost every job I have had will "let" you use your brain. Whether it will "make" you use your brain is another question.

On the other hand I have two degrees and apparently no chance of getting a "professional" job. Apparently the corporate world has no use for my brain, but always has an opening for someone to mop their floors. I do not care since it is just a meal ticket. As I remember it, my job as a "mathematician" was incredibly boring, and the work day goes much quicker as I walk around cleaning and fixing things.

However, you can certainly use your brain in even a grunt-type factory job, since the modern lines are computer driven. My finest moment was when I went on strike and kept a million dollar bosch line down for an hour before I fixed the problem. Sure I could have fixed it an hour earlier, but that would not have cost them $12,000 in lost production. I learned alot about the operation of that line in my two years as a temp, but they were not paying me for my brain, so why donate it to them? Of course, that knowledge is now 100% useless unless I went hunting for another factory with a bosch line.

[XemaSab]

40. I'm too ADD

if I'm not working on a task that I can really focus on, I totally space out. And being spaced out feels too much like a total waste of time.

[hfojvt]

43. not if you're getting paid for it

:evilgrin:

[stlsaxman]

57. All work has meaning.

Anyone who finds worth in a task well executed (even the guy/gal that pours coffee over ice into a plastic cup for me to take with me) is to be commended. The only "dead-end job" is slavery.

[datasuspect]

62. it needed to be said

thanks

[Iris]

73. You are so right. I worked in a 2nd hand store for 3 years and got a lot

out of that job. I met people from all walks of life. I'll never forget the day a woman came in to the store and told me it was the place she'd go to cheer her up after her chemo treatments.

We focus way too much on what we do for work in this country. There's a whole lot more to life than that.

[Deja Q]

94. Lincoln felt similarly. It's no surprise the repukes dumped him...

just like how many people divorce because their partner lost his job.

It's part of the status symbol and the stigma around it. After all, if you're homeless it's because you're a lazy stupid bum, right? :sarcasm:

[Greyhound]

77. Sounds like you're defining yourself, and others, by your position.

[ForrestGump]

14. Never dated. Not sure I ever want to. But I wouldn't hesitate to

go out with the hypothetical Mr Starbucks if I were in your shoes...you never know what's inside until you look.

[hfojvt]

15. umm, err, aaahh

I guess I have been the one in dead end jobs every since I jumped off the good job train. When I was 30 I did not even have a job except for my own store which I was starting. I have never been very concerned about a date's career.

[LastKnight]

20. i would say who cares.

job isnt necessarily a meter of personal worth. get to know the person and then make a decision based on the whole person, not what he does for a living. im a student and im working a retail job to get me through school, the guys i work with (3 out of 5 of them, actuially) are married to doctors. their all pretty damn happy as far as i can tell, and their families are doin well.

[hallo]

23. job

Many times a job is just a step along the way.

[XemaSab]

24. he's worked at about 10 different starbucks

I think it's a step to the next starbucks.

welcome to DU!

enjoy your stay! :D

[hallo]

26. thanks

Thanks. I have lurked for a while and was afraid of "coming out". And, I once worked at Starbucks :)

[XemaSab]

28. and how was that?

was there something there that I am missing?

[hallo]

31. *

The secret decoder ring. j/k. The only thing I miss is free coffee drinks.

[XemaSab]

34. Would you find it

a satisfactory long-term career?

And do you think I'm being a snob needlessly?

[hallo]

41. oops double

[hallo]

42. starbucks

Starbucks... depends...Unless one is, for example, in the business of buying franchises or some such. Also I suppose there are management careers. So it may not be a dead end job if someone was willing to work their butt off, etc.

But for most people they are probably coffee makers and that's it.

[Kenneth ken]

44. yet another post on the same premise

since Starbucks is a corporation and also far-flung, it could be a useful way to travel - work at Starbucks for a year in Washington state, go to DC get on at a different Starbucks spend a year there, etc. etc.

I don't know how well that would work out as far as traveling outside the US, but it does have a certain familiarity which would presumably make one more employable (less training) and given that it doesn't seem to be a job with lots of OT or stress, would seem to provide freedom for exploring the area one was in.

Admittedly, it wouldn't seem the type of "career" that would lead to lots of material-wealth accumulation, but it could be made interesting and enjoyable.

Who knows, maybe dating your Starbucks guy could be enjoyable but not long-term and he would move on because it was time for him to explore a different part of the country.

ooh - dumped by a Starbucks guy; could you handle it? :D

I think that dating pretty much anyone you find interesting is worthwhile, at least until you find out they are too incompatible or not as interesting as you thought. Spending time with someone is the only real way to get to know them.

Or at least I've given you other facets to consider and chat the guy up about; if you know he's been at 10 different Starbucks, I'm guessing you've chatted a bit with him already.

:hi:

[alarcojon]

46. I don't think you're a snob

In theory, your soulmate (or at least someone to hang with for a while) could work at any job. Your Starbuck's guy could, in theory, be working on a grand unified theory in his spare time. He might like to travel the country at a leisurely pace. He might be a brilliant artist or musician working the job out of necessity. Or he might just be a bright guy who makes you laugh AND makes you think. And you won't know unless you give him a try. Ask yourself - what attracted you to him in the first place?

In reality, we only have so much time, so we use all sorts of criteria in decicing who to consider for a serious relationship. You have worked hard for your degree and career, and it matters to you, so you are likely to be compatible with someone with a similar situation. That doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else, in my eyes, just different.

[Mutley]

47. I don't think having an employment standard is elistist.

You don't want to end up with some dead beat who's going to suck you dry.

What sort of position does this person have at Starbucks? Hourly employee, salaried manager? Perhaps if this person is looking to move up in the Starbucks food chain it might not be too bad. But if he/she just wants to make coffee forever, then, nu-uh.

[Iris]

76. So what if he wants to make coffe forever.

He's obviously supporting himself, so why would that change if he hooked up with someone? You think he's just working as a coffee slave to try to hook up with some yuppie chick who comes in for her triple nonfat latte?

[supernova]

48. Depends on what you call "dead-end"

If he's working at Starbucks and is happy there, then fine.

If he's working at Starbucks and constantly complaining that he can't seem to do anything else no matter how hard he tries, then no I wouldn't date him.

It depends on the person's perspective. We all have different needs from our working lives. If he's not happy in his life, no matter what his job is, then he's not going to be a very healthy person to spend time with.

I have a corporate managmenet job, moderately successful, and I'm happy doing it. But working at Starbucks would kill me. Not because I would find the work meaningless, but because I find waiting on 100 people a day to be soul-crushing. I simply can do it and remain sane.

[SmokingJacket]

49. Not everyone is Career Material.

And I think that's okay. I'd date anyone who I think is cute and interesting and not freaky -- yes, I do think it's snobby not to date someone because their job isn't good enough.

[Deja Q]

91. Not everyone has a job. Maybe we should shoot them out of pity then.

Or even a job deemed worthy by a stuck-up "society" that isn't even worth the dollar it prints (and these days that's sadly as much literally as it is figuratively. x( )

[gmoney]

50. It wouldn't disqualify for dating...

It's just dating -- try a date. If he suggests someplace other than Starbucks, that at least shows some initiative.

There are other ambitions besides a job/career. Maybe he's pursuing one of those, or maybe not. Maybe his ambition is to have a job that he can leave behind at closing time and not think about on his time, not have to lose sleep over (unless he drinks too much coffee).

Like I say, I'd at least give it a shot. You may discover some wonderfully redeeming quality in him that will make you forget what he does for a living. Or you might just have a nice night out, fool around a little, and never go out again. Or it might be a miserable waste of time. BUT at least you'll know about this guy.

[NuttyFluffers]

51. well, if you're just dating, why not?

but if you're "desperate fire-sale spouse shopping" like what passes for most of the dating scene now, then i guess you'd better bust out the checklist.

but love doesn't come from a checklist, fyi. you can marry for fame, fortune, ambition, or duty but be aware you'll end up most likely unhappy. ever heard "marry for money and expect to work for every penny"? love, with friendship, trust, honesty, and more than a drop of passion, makes the burden of living together a far lighter load for whatever comes.

but seriously, are you dating or "dating with a vengeance!"? if you're just dating then what could you possibly lose? not like you're signing a contract or anything.

[tjdee]

55. "Desperate fire-sale spouse shopping" LOL!

But maybe I don't get the point of dating after you're say....25.

If I want to go out to the movies with a random person, I'll go with my friends or myself. The whole point of *dating* is to find someone to marry. If the guy isn't husband material, it's not really *dating*, it's the same as getting together with a friend.

I guess there's a difference between dating (with the goal of getting married/finding a long term relationship) and desperate fire-sale spouse shopping... I just wonder if you think there is one?

[Hugin]

52. Are you dating the person or the job?

If in all other respects the person seems fulfilled... Go for it.

B.T.W. Don't they charge like $7.00 for a cup-o-java at Starbucks?
Looks like a bright future to me.

[Orangepeel]

53. is he interesting?

If the only thing he does is work at Starbucks, then I don't think I would be attracted to him. But if he is interesting in other ways, then his job wouldn't matter to me.

I have a professional career, myself, but there are a lot of other things I find interesting -- politics, art, theater, to name a few. People I work with share my professional interests. My husband shares my life interests.

[SarahB]

54. I'd want someone who is both responsible...

and willing to pursue their goals and dreams. I don't make arbitrary limits or restrictions on this stuff. Still, I'd just like to think that a decent, secure future was as important to anyone I'd seriously date as it was to me. Thankfully, that seems to be the case. :)

[tjdee]

56. Does he do anything with himself? Or is he a loser?

As someone above said, does he work at Starbucks so he can work on grand unification theory, or so he can write a symphony/song/screenplay? Does he work at Starbucks because he doesn't want to bring his work home with him (something I'm starting to do and don't like it and almost envy the guy LOL)?

I'd go out on a date with the guy, if there's some attraction and interest. Starbucks wouldn't be the deciding factor--unless it's obvious that he's working there because he has nothing else going on upstairs, and doesn't care to.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

58. It would depend on WHY they're still working at Starbucks

If it's because they're working on a career in the arts and need a day job, fine.

If it's because the area is economically depressed, fine.

If it's because they're saving money to go back to school, fine.

If it's because they intend to move up in the company, fine.

If they have chosen to get a low-stress job so they can do something else that is more fulfilling, fine.

If it's because they're afraid to grow up and their parents keep slipping them hundreds of dollars a month to maintain a middle class lifestyle on Starbuck's wages, not fine.

[BikeWriter]

64. Great points, Lydia!

[Catchawave]

59. Hmmmmm? How old are you.....

...and how is your relationship with your parents? I remember mine dictated the loser qualities in my boyfriends over my happiness. Like the out of work *writer* living in squalor...he's a gazillionaire today, but what did they know :shrug: That was the 60's, maybe times have changed?

My DIL is a manager at a big Miami area Starbucks and pulls in close to 60k a year, including bennies and stock. Not bad!

My daughter gave up the best thing that ever happened to her over a frustration that her BF gave up his career as an electrical engineer (with an MS) because he was happy doing *landscaping* for wealthy NYC dweller's balconies and courtyards at $50/hour (equating to min wage in other parts of the country...lol). She called that a dead end job too because he was working beneath his education. She's 24.

So, are you better off *with him or without him*.....that's the real question, that is, if you indeed even started dating the gentleman in question !





:hug: :hug:

[XemaSab]

65. I'm 28

and I earn my own living. I decide who I date because my mom likes losers and doesn't like guys who I think are winners.

I think the summary of what I'm reading here is that he may be a loser, but he might not be, and I should spend more time with him and see what I think.

[the_spectator]

68. Now I'm lost...

My DIL is a manager at a big Miami area Starbucks and pulls in close to 60k a year, including bennies and stock. Not bad!

What does this mean? They're giving her illegal drugs as part of her compensation?

[datasuspect]

61. elitist snob?

check.

[BikeWriter]

63. Being an elitist snob can be a smart move.

[Iris]

78. Yep. Right into a subdivision built on a golf course where your children

can benefit from all the pesticides they use on the green.

[XemaSab]

85. now, now

I'm a biologist and I know better than that. Besides, golf sucks. It's a huge waste of water and the pollution is astounding.

I'd worry that that's where I'd be headed if I *didn't* have standards.

[Iris]

86. Good to here!

[Iris]

89. and didn't mean to be so fiesty, but

I get really upset when the idea that everyone must be "a productive member of society" and that simply being happy is not enough.

Maybe this guy is really happy. Would that be so bad?

[XemaSab]

92. he's being a productive member of society

hell, some of my best friends have been prostitutes and bums at one point in their lives, so it's not about being productive.

It's about compatibility in values.

If he's happy but I think he's not someone I want to be involved with, then I'm wasting his time and he could go find someone else who doesn't have an issue with it.

[Iris]

100. I just have a hard time equating career with values.

It may be just me, but there are other things more important.

From a personal note, my husband has a master's degree but is making his living as an (excellent) carpenter. I'm in a graduate program and once I'm finished, my job will probably take us to another location at some point. The thing is, it all works out because he can work anywhere and he likes what he's doing and I like what I'm doing and so how we make a living is all pretty irrelevant (which is easy for me to say b/c even though his occupation might sound humble, we are solidly middle class - and for our state - probably upper-middle class.)


I guess the real question is are the values you are talking about are really related to having a lot of material possessions, because, frankly, a career might last 30-35 years, at best, but a marriage/relationship lasts forever. Or, maybe in general you are afraid that your drive and his possible lack-of drive might cause conflict?

[XemaSab]

101. It's more about ambition and satisfaction

than material posessions. I have all the stuff I want or need, except for maybe a house.

I couldn't be satisfied with a job like that, and I don't understand how anyone else could.

(Hey, carpentry's a handy job... my colleague's husband is a carpented, and he totally redid their house, stuck in a bunch of skylights, the place looks terrific. Wouldn't say no to some of that.)

[Iris]

105. I think I see what you mean.

Because living with someone in a dead-end job that they HATE would make your life miserable.

I guess I just hope you are open to the idea that this could be a good person who really is satisfied with his job, however unappealing it may seem.

Anyways, good luck with whatever happens!

[BikeWriter]

103. Those poor children! They're doomed!

[Iris]

106. or maybe just the "would be" grandchildren of the peopel who think living

like this is doing a great service for their children.

[BikeWriter]

107. You don't have to live on a golf course for that.

[Iris]

110. No, but why add to the risk?

[BikeWriter]

115. If I had it to do over again I would have no (0) children, until...

sanity was restored to this world.

[datasuspect]

66. did it occur to anyone

that you can be a "professional" with paper squirting out of your asshole and still be a jagoff or a prick or an otherwise bad person?

[BikeWriter]

67. Certainly, but I'd say statistically more jagoffs are in dead end jobs...

than professionals. Becoming a professional requires drive and ambition, at least, with the exception of those who've been given it all.

[the_spectator]

70. I'm sure you didn't mean it,

but if you look at what you're saying here, you're basically enunciating a particularly harsh form of social darwinist belief - the idea that not only the "fittest" but also the "best" people rise in society. It's really kind of neo-calvinist.

I think that assholes are probably equally well represented across ALL socio-economic levels. Just for one thing, you mention "drive and ambition" -- those qualities for some people can come out of positive things, but for others, those qualities can come out of their inner assholery.

[Nikia]

75. I have worked several low wage jobs

Where ever I worked: grocery store, restaurant, various types of factories, there was always at least one brilliant person (aside from me of course) who would be an assett to almost any company in almost any profession (if they got the proper training of course). Their reasons varied, but it wasn't because they weren't smart or didn't care about the quality of their work.
Jerks are well represented in management. Some people rise to high positions by taking advantage of others. Some use quite unethical means to get there. These higher class jerks might be better at manipulating people and hiding their true selves at times than working class jerks, but it doesn't mean that they aren't bad people.

[Iris]

79. I'd go further and say it often takes a certain kind of asshole to rise in

the ranks of the corporate world.

[BikeWriter]

104. I wrote precisely what I meant. People with ambition may be...

in a dead end job, but statistically more of them will not be. I did not count myself as having been a professional, though I retired from an upper middle income job in industry.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

69. i wouldn't judge based on the job

especially in this horrible job market.

[no name no slogan]

71. Kind of depends on the person

if the job is just a means to an end, I would date the person.

I know a lot of very creative people who can't hack doing a corporate, button-down 9-to-5 who work in food service or janitorial jobs. Sure they don't make big $$$, but OTOH they do have time to practice their art.

I wouldn't worry about the job so much, just as long as he HAS A JOB, and doesn't mind doing honest work for a living.

FULL DISCLOSURE: when I married my ex-wife nine years ago, she had left a job as a youth counsellor and was working as a baker in a coffee shop. Now she works as a recruiter at a university and is doing quite well for herself. It just goes to show that you can change jobs/careers at any time in your life-- and chances are you will at least a few times.

:D

[Nikia]

72. I'd rather be working at Starbucks

I have a degree in biology and have been working in quality assurance in the food industry. Most of it consists of the same mind numbing tests over and over again. Some of it involves some problem solving, but very little and it usually involves someone being upset. There is no room for advancement in my company. No one appreciates what I do. I am the only one who does what I do so if I am sick or on vacation, I have a lot of extra work to do and often end up worrying about it while I am away.
If I advance in my career by getting a job at another company. I'll have more responsibility and a little bit more money, but it will still be a job where I wouldn't be appreciated or really accomplish things that I'd consider meaningful.
At Star Bucks, you are personally giving people a quality product that they like. You see them first hand. You talk to them first hand. Some customers are jerks. Some customers are appreciative. You see, first hand, the fruits of your labor. You are sure to get several compliments a day. That is meaningful work. It is honest.
Of course you should talk to him more. Find out his philosophy of work and of life.
If he is in management, that is as valid as any other professional career and should provide him with at least middle income, if not now, then soon.

[tanyev]

74. HEY! Starbucks has health insurance!

Don't underestimate how important that is. My hubby is in computers and he's fully prepared to go apply at Starbucks someday if he ever loses his job and cannot find another.

[GOPisEvil]

80. As long as this person had a stable employment history, that would be ok.

I make a decent living and I don't have expensive tastes, so I don't require someone with a great job. However, a good work ethic is important. If the person was desirable in all other ways, their choice of employment is unimportant. Overall complacency is not attractive to me, so if this person that worked at Starbucks forever was interested in improving herself in other ways, that is enough for me.

[Lars39]

81. Sounds like he's realized that he is not his job.

Healthy attitude to have.
The other end of the spectrum would be someone who has no identity other than " I'm a___________."

[Iris]

82. Check out this blog entry:

http://industrialblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1111031064.shtml

[Dastard Stepchild]

83. I'd date a 30 y.o. Starbucks employee.....

If said employee and I made a good match. I plan to be the breadwinner anywho. :)

:hi:

[LaurenG]

84. I would if I was attracted to them

If they have no desire to move up in the company I don't think we'd have enough in common to keep dating. You just never know.

[XemaSab]

88. Oh, and to give a little more info

he was in the marines and has half a degree in ancient history.

Eclectic lad.

[Deja Q]

90. Forgive me:

I hate people like that. And not just because that's old-school reaganomics-type thinking, if it can be considered thinking at all.

Any thing can happen to any one at any time. To coin a phrase, no job is a God-given right.

People are supposed to love the person and work with them and help each other. Not engage in this self-centered fishing shit.

[XemaSab]

93. Now, now

I have the liberal awareness to ask whether I'm being a jerk, and it sounds like some people say yes and others say no.

If I was a real reagonomics elitist I wouldn't ask, because I wouldn't consider the lad in the first place.

It's sort of an awkward thing to ask, and if this wasn't an anonymous message board I probably wouldn't ask at all, but work it out myself.

Also, I grew up in a poor house, and I'm not down with it, and I think that's a reasonable attitude to take. Being poor sucks. 'Nuff said.

[Deja Q]

95. Given how many times I had been summarily dropped, you can't deny me my

emotions on this issue. (and you'd be half-surprised at what I do for a living.)

I've dated people others would keep their noses 50 feet above. And did I think anything of it? Hell no. People are people. People need to help each other. Not engage in what is an obvious double standard.

I now see your point re: reaganomics, but your subject is undeniably a touchy one.

Being poor sucks... being a lot of other things on top of it sucks more.

[XemaSab]

96. Everyone's got opinions

borne from experience, hence, asking for input.

[UncleSepp]

98. No.

I am surrounded by hard-chargin' multiple-degree-havin' six-day-a-week-workin' certified-out-the-patoot corporati all damn day long at my job. I'd like to come home to someone different. In my mind, that's one of the benefits to having a high wage job. My life partner doesn't have to be my financial partner - just my friend.

[cassandra uprising]

109. A. How is working at Starbucks not a career? and B. it all depends

on the person in question. I have a good friend who moved from CT to NC because the cost of living is so much cheaper down there. Not to mention the mountains are gorgeous. He's worked at a gas station the entire six years he's been down there and has reignited his passion for painting. he hadn't painted at all in CT, had no time, worked too much. he also is nationally recognized Tai Chi player. All while being a lowly gas station attendant.

I don't think it necessarily matters how you make your money. It matters what you're doing with your life.

Good luck to you

[ChaoticSilly]

111. This is why I don't bother dating anymore

I work in a warehouse. The pay isn't great, but it's enough to live on, gets me a little exercise and at the end of the day I don't have to worry about anything except going home, relaxing and delving into whatever topic happens to pique my interest that day - from politics to quantum physics to psychology to economics to my favorite, computer graphics My avatar & sig are crops of larger images I've created. I freely give out as much source code for my images as I am legally able to anybody who asks.

When I was with my ex girlfriend, I owned a house. After we broke up and she moved out, I thought I would try to keep it. I was managing everything ok, but I really didn't like living paycheck to paycheck just to be able to say I owned my own house. Besides, I really didn't need a 3 bedroom house for just myself. So I sold it, and moved in with my mother (yes I'm paying rent - much more than what she asks for). It gives me a cheap place to live and gives her a lot more spending money every month.

I realize having a "dead end" job and living with my mother automatically disqualifies me as even being considered for a date by most women. I realize some people think that I am less of a person because of this. I realize some people think I have no ambition or self esteem because of this. I really don't care anymore. If working 60 to 80 hours a week and being tied to a corporate master my whole life is what it takes to find a wife, then I guess I'll be single until the day I die.

[Droopy]

113. Good post

[Finder]

114. Well dating is just dating....

if you are attracted, go for it. Going on a date does not commit you to anything.

Also, if you date two guys that work at Starbucks, that equals one that works at Microsoft.lol(just kidding):P

[existentialist]

116. It depends

Could be 30, working at Starbucks, and two weeks from finishing a Ph.D thesis or the great American Novel, or just about ready to go back to school, or . . . the possibilities are endless.

[RandomKoolzip]

117. I'm a musician and a writer.

But I cannot make a living from those pursuits. So I must work as a cook, NOT using my brain, to merely subsist.

Thanks for bolstering an ugly stereotype often lobbed at the underclass: lack of "ambition." Bullshit. I've got ambition coming out of my pores. Some people can achieve their dreams, some people can't, some people take a long time to get there, some are lucky. But never ever should you guess from a person's lowly occupation that that person is "unambitious."

Do you really think anyone REALLY WANTS to work at Starbucks?! I never wanted to be a cook, but I have a mild aptitude for it, so I pursued that path while playing music and writing. Maybe your guy is doing the same thing.

Jeez, I feel for this guy now.

[Redstone]

118. Yes, you are being an elitist snob.

She's not good enough for you?

How nice.

Redstone