Work RANT!!!!!!!!(AKA Driving for dummies)

[Solon]

Have to get this fucking shit off my chest today, very stressful day. First, it hit 3 digits AGAIN today, with probably 100% humidity, hell if I know, like it really matters, I'm the Ice Cream Man, I drive a windowed van whose only source of coolness is sealed in a freezer in the back and a small assed fan for air circualtion. NO AC WHATSOEVER! I think a standard outdoor thermometer would have broke in that damned van. To estimate what type of heat I was in just take the outdoor temp(like today's 101 degrees or so), add 20 or 30 degrees, and that was the temperature I was in for most of the day.

To put it another way, I drank 2 gallons of water, and equivelents like Gatorade in 8 hours and only peed once at the beginning of my route, it all came out as sweat after that.

Now this is stressful enough, now let's talk about the deal with drivers of Missouri, specifically St. Louis Missouri, they suck ass. For one, WHY THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE TO BE GIVEN TRAFFIC DIRECTIONS FROM ME OF ALL PEOPLE WHILE I'M SELLING ICE CREAM. THEY SEE THE DAMNED VAN, WITH FLASHING LIGHTS, MUSIC, AND A BELL PULL OVER, AND THEY STILL GET BEHIND THE VAN AND HONK!!!!!!!!!!! What the FUCK are they thinking?!?!?!?! Second, I have a neat safety feature of the van, a swing out arm, flashing lights and all, says in BOLD fucking letters "SLOW, CHILDREN CROSSING", and yet people will blow by me at 30-40 mph(on a 25 mph or less street) while I have KIDS around the van. Are these people asking to get thrown in jail for running over a kid?

Also, another thing, more specific, I was on this one street, music blaring, lights flashing, etc. and there is a 90 degree turn about 100 feet ahead of me, I had a tow truck parked on right side of the street, right next to me in fact, and a van on the other side of the street. NOTE: residential area, no lanes separating one side of street from another. Anyways, so this guy in a luxury car comes flying around the corner, I still had plenty of space to keep going, so I started to turn to get in front of the tow truck, to yeild to the guy, I'm nice, sue me. Problem was, he SPED up and blocked my only route to avoid a collision, I obviously was only going about 2-5 mph on this street, so I stopped, he crept up on me, forcing me to back up to avoid a collision, and I had to back up to an INTERSECTION to avoid hitting this fucking asshole. WHAT THE FUCK could he be thinking? I should have just rammed the asshole, I mean, my van was a lot tougher than his car, and he PISSED ME OFF!!!! But, fortunately, I'm not that stupid, and flipped him the bird instead as he blew by me.

By the way, words on backing up, another nice little feature of the van is the annoying, but safe, backup sound, beep, beep, beep, etc. When I'm at a gas station, usually getting a drink, a lot of water, and ice, need ice, I then leave, and have to backup out of the parking space. You would think that seeing a bigassed Ice Cream van with that truck backup noise would be a clue, but apparently not. I'm in tight situations a lot, and the van is big, so I'm slow and careful, I would be halfway out of the parking spot, sound still playing, when somone else decides to wip out of their parking space right behind me, and that is why I'm so damned slow getting out of these parking spaces. I could hit these motherfuckers easily enough, and it would have been their fault, for not paying attention, but to avoid hassle, I don't, though I'm sorely tempted at times. I try, mightily, to believe that 90% of people driving cars on the road are actually qualified to drive any type of machinery, as far as I can tell, those 90% shouldn't be qualified to drive so much as a unicycle.

OK, had to get all that off my chest.

[MissB]

1. I think you need a mango.

[Solon]

2. I think I need a tequila, and THANK GODS I'm off of work come monday!

[MissB]

3. A good stiff drink will do you good.

The lack of a/c would suck. Heat and humidity and lack of a/c would turn me into the bitchiest ice cream person known to mankind.

:toast: for surviving the day.

[Solon]

4. Thanks, I actually don't drink that much anymore...

but the ONE thing that makes my day, beyond hot mothers and college students in bikinis, are little kids getting a big smile on their face when given an ice cream. That is the only thing, besides the ladies, that keeps me going through the day, oh, and the money, have to mention that. :)