Dad of 12 Admits He's Gay (NOT a joke)

[Modem Butterfly]

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1471862.html

Alina said: "I received a phone call from a friend who told me she had seen Hannes with another person, she said they had been kissing and cuddling.

"I didn't believe her when she told me the other person was a man, but when I confronted Hannes he admitted everything.

"He told me he had only had sex with me so I would get pregnant and it would give me something to do. I can't believe we had so many children together, my whole life has been a lie."

She has now written a book "...no time to pray" about her ordeal which she hopes will bring in money to support her family in their home in Graz, Austria.

[latebloomer]

1. 12 children "gave her something to do"?

I guess! :eyes:

[Deja Q]

20. He didn't mind doing something either

That means he had to get icky with her at least 12 times. (I'm gay and I find het acts to be about as gross as most hets fathom gay acts to be.)

[mzteris]

2. funny you mention this

I know lady who has 6 or 7 kids - and I saw her hubby for the first time the other - I SWEAR he's gay. (& I have pretty good gaydar...) I was thinking that he had so many kids to try and "hide" his gayness - but I never thought about the "giving her stuff to do" angle...... lol....

BTW - HOW many kids does Santorum have????

jes asking! :rofl:

[RPM]

4. number depends on whether you count stillbirths...

:scared:

[maxsolomon]

3. another possbility: he's BI

you don't impregnate a woman 12 times when you aren't sexually attracted to them.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

8. Well, that's debatable in the sense that

when men are younger, it's easier for them to become erect than later on in life. Chemicals can also help get and maintain an erection to the point ejaculation.

A man is not defined as gay by a presumed hatred or repulsion of women - he is gay to the extent that his predominant attraction is for other men.

[KurtNYC]

15. I'll second that

The recent study seemed to show that people are 4 times as attracted to one gender as to the other REGARDLESS of what label they apply to themselves. In other words, guys who identifed as gay were 4 times more attracted to men than women. Guys who said they were "bi" were 4 times more attracted to either women or men and thus mostly indistinguishable from those identifying as gay. The headlines spun this to mean there was no such thing as "bi". I would say it means that ALL are bi but have a definite preference.

[maxsolomon]

30. ok you win

i retract saying that he is bi.

i now say he's an idiot.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

36. Okay, but again, he fulfilled the demands of his family and society by

getting married and having grandkids/children. He need not think about that plan and what HE wants. So he may or may not be an idiot. If you are saying he's an idiot simply because he got married even though he is gay, you don't think McGreevey is an idiot, do you? You'd certainly be wrong in that case.

[maxsolomon]

46. he's an idiot because he had 12 kids.

that's enough of a reason.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

47. I don't agree.

but your mileage varies obviously.

[AntiCoup2K4]

5. The right wingers should have fun with this one.

...This man was doing his GODLY duties and overpopulating the planet just like the Bible says to, and suddenly becomes a Sodomite. Obviously this is due to the Satanic unification of Europe, which will be home to the Antichrist, possibly this very person.....

[Deja Q]

33. I don't know why, but...

[Shell Beau]

6. Maybe he just got the courage to come out, but

what a shitty thing to do to someone. It is cheating first of all. And then the deception she must feel. Their whole marriage must feel like a lie. 12 kids is an awful lot, but I guess that would be the good thing that came out of the marriage. Something to do? No one needs that much to do. I guess now he can feel free.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

9. Yeah, except we don't know enough about this case

to make a fair judgment.

Are you gay? If not, you can't ever know what the pressure from family and society is like to get married to a woman when you don't want to. Many if not most men do not resist the pressure or are psychologically unprepared to do so and DO get married.

[Shell Beau]

10. No I am not gay and I understand what you mean. But

even if society is unfair (which I of course believe it is), that is no excuse to treat anyone like shit. I am only going by what I have read to make my judgment, so I may be off base a little. But I am sure his wife is hurt by this, which gay or not, it is inexcusable behavior to me. Being gay does not give him a free pass on the cheating. He may have a good excuse to do what he did, but it doesn't make it right. He could have told her before the 12 children they had so she could have something to do!

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

16. I agree that the infidelity was hurtful to her and the kids.

But again, we come back to this issue of chicken-and-egg: his family and society pressures a gay man into getting married to a woman and having children. He submits to the pressure, and later recognizes that it has led to mental illness. He tries to salvage the marriage AND his mental health by having a gay affair on the side.

Another case study in why it is bad to pressure your kids to be heterosexual.

[Shell Beau]

17. It just sounds like excuses to me. Society puts pressure

on gay people for sure. But no one made him do anything. He did it himself.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

19. Wait a minute.

I've known more than a few gays who were completely, totally excommunicated from their own families after they came out of the closet, such is the level of hatred for gays in this country, and elsewhere. Disinherited. Thrown out on the street on their butts.

The pressure on gays to be "straight" is heaviest.

[Shell Beau]

22. I never said it wasn't. I feel for those who have

to endure that. But this man knew he was gay before he had 12 kids. There is no excuse IMO for this.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

24. Oh, no, not necessarily. Sometimes, men don't realize it until later,

after they've fooled around with someone who seduces them (just to be clear - it is NOT the act of seduction which turns them gay; they have always been gay, but didn't realize it). Also, I've seen stories on Oprah where the guy married to a straight woman claims not to have known he was gay until later on in the marriage.

Even in cases where a man KNOWS he's gay before having 12 kids, the pressure is there to get married and "be normal" and bear grandkids for the parents. Other times, the suggestion is that once you get married to a nice woman, the marriage will straighten you out. :D

So you really can't fault someone for having had no real choice in the matter.

[Shell Beau]

25. It is certainly different if he didn't know he was gay .

But as long as he takes responsibility for his own actions. I hardly think the woman is comforted by knowing that he felt pressured. But, I understand that until you've been in the situation, you can't say what you would've done.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

26. Well, yes, the woman in this situation is the biggest victim of all.

She's first victimized by a society which considers her a baby factory, which doesn't really give her an equal playing field in order to earn a living on her own and so may see marriage as her only option in order to achieve for herself and her children a comfortable standard of living (which is what women in traditional societies do). The same society also pressures its men to adopt a lie as a way of life. Then later, she is victimized again by a man who feels he can no longer either lie to his wife, children or himself.

It's a sickening cycle.

[Shell Beau]

27. He was caught cheating. He didn't come out until she asked him.

Who knows how long he would've gone on if he hadn't been caught.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

29. Sometimes gay men who marry stay married 'til the end.

There are plenty of stories of men who were gay who nonetheless married and had kids and remained married to their wives 'til the end. I can't honestly say if it's a lot of such men or a few.

Some people in more traditional cultures consider homosexual activity as a leisure pursuit or something habitual, not as a hallmark of someone who is different in any significant way. Ergo, it's hard to tell how common it is for gay men to be married.

[sundog]

43. never trust what you hear on oprah

just a bit of free advice ;)

[Deja Q]

31. Shit is a way of life, fella.

Maybe he acted out of wanton cruelty. Maybe it was his form of retaliating, bizarre as that sounds.

Either way, he'll pay via alimony and child support. And as our society values money more than anything else, don't worry - he'll be sad all the way to the gutter and then some.

I'd bet he will ultimately kill himself.

[Shell Beau]

34. I hope he doesn't take it that far.

[Gildor Inglorion]

41. Well, if I had 12 children, I'd certainly consider it (killing myself!)

[sundog]

44. ...

:spray:

[Initech]

7. Oh. Wont somebody please think of the children?

[Deja Q]

11. !

12 is a bit much and that guy must have the IQ of frozen shrimp.

Living a lie is one thing, but 12 kids is not just living a lie, it is intentionally hurtful to himself, his ex-wife by now, and the 12 children.

Oh, her wife's book title is a bit lewd. I mean "no time to pray" means she was too busy gettin' busy. I can't just pin the blame on hidden homo; it takes two to toss a salad.

[Shell Beau]

13. That is completely true. She had to

be willing to have those kids. But what he did was hurtful to his wife and 12 kids.

[Deja Q]

18. Ah.

The guy was also hurting himself financially. He's going to be paying a boatload of dough every month in child support... but the emotional hurt is by far the worst thing to come out of this situation.

And in a society that seems to want gay men exterminated, I understand why many men are cruel like this. And society is the ultimate problem. Homosexuality is not wrong or evil and if it was tolerated and not scorned, the number of cases like this guys would be near 0, I dare say. (or at least a LOT lower than what it is now...)

[Shell Beau]

23. Society does put this pressure on gay people. That is

totally wrong. But ultimately we are responsible for our own actions. And financially this guy will be paying out the wa-zoo!

[Deja Q]

32. Whew boy...

Also, if the society itself can't be responsible, why should we point fingers at the people within who can't be because of persecution or lack of direction?

Where is the line drawn?

Forgive me but I am sick of symptoms being treated AS the problem; with the real problem remaining unaddressed. In this case it is the persecution and extermination of homosexuals. This fear led him to do some really stupid things.

And he will likely kill himself. Leaving everyone else to pay for the problem AND add more fuel to the homosexual and divorce stereotypes. Once again, making the symptom look like the problem.

[Shell Beau]

35. I don't think there is just one responsible party here at all.

I hope that society will one day start being accepting of gay people. But my point is there are people hurt here. Whoever is to blame. And they should all take responsibility. But ultimately, we are held responsible for our own actions.

[Divameow77]

28. They can only take half of his pay in the US

to child support, that is the limit I believe if you have 7 or more children. Maybe they have an easier support system there.

[VelmaD]

42. Uh...maybe the book title refers to her being busy...

trying to raise and care for 12 children.

[5thGenDemocrat]

12. Not a surprise to me at all

Growing up here, one of the neighborhood families had 11 kids. After they had (mostly) grown up, their dad came out -- to the surprise of just about no one.
John
Bernie is a much happier person now. Good for him!

[Shell Beau]

14. I am all for people being happy, but hurting others in the

process is wrong.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

21. I do feel bad for her and the kids, don't get me wrong.

I just think we have to look at the big picture, that's all.

[caty]

37. I don't know how this could be

a complete surprise to her. There's a lot more to our sex lives than just the act itself. What about sexual affection and foreplay? Didn't she realize there was something lacking there?:think:

[Shell Beau]

39. Well with 12 kids how would you notice anything?

And why put the blame on her?

[caty]

45. I'm not putting the blame her.

[Brewman_Jax]

38. I've wondered about the other side of the story

having sat thru' some men's group sessions some years ago. The case I saw was that the wife was a lesbian and was married to the man in the sessions for 16 yrs, I think. They had two kids together, both teens during the divorce. He loved the kids, but the extreme vitrol he had for her could be cut with a knife. I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember that he said that had been living with a liar and that those years were meaningless and forever lost. He could have spent them with a woman who cared and actually could and did love him. It was sad. :(

The counselor was trying, with limited success, to console him, and offer another side of the story. I've never heard, first hand, from the other side.

There are always two sides.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

40. A recent PBS show "I Exist" dealth w/ gays &lesbians from Middle East, and

one lesbian's words were very powerful to me: paraphrasing here,

"If I could go back in time to when I was a child, knowing what I know now, how my family devastated me, betrayed me, cast me out, disowned me in response to my coming out as a lesbian, then I would have asked them (as a child) to be fair: drop the ridiculous pretense about unconditional love, let me know ahead of time that if I come out as a lesbian, that you will excommunicate me entirely from the family, because then I would not have come out."

Left unsaid was whether or not she would have gone a step further and married a man if her family had demanded it. I think it's fair to say that she would have. How many people live in such circumstances? TONS.

[Strawman]

48. "No time to pray" indeed

12 kids? I doubt she had much time for anything.