Straight Women: you're asked to marry a gay man for money; do you consent?

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

So you're approached by a perfectly healthy, reasonably likable gay man who tells you that he's gay but that he wants you to marry him and bear him children because under the terms of his trust fund/family obligations, he must get married and bear children, after which he inherits tons of money, some of which you earn in the process. Your arrangements for what happens after the money gets transferred are entirely between the two of you.

Would you ever agree to such an arrangement?

[TrueAmerican]

1. Looks like another movie

starring Pauley Shore.

[Sannum]

2. How Much....

Is it Tom Cruise? If so, I decline:P

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

5. LOL

:D

[ihaveaquestion]

3. Quick answer - yes!

Why not? The kids would be taken care of. I'd be taken care of. I don't see any serious downsides.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

9. Dja ever wonder how many women have ever faced that question?

I mean, we know that in some cultures, most marriages are pre-arranged, so the idea that a consideration aside from love determines who marries who is not such a radical one. The man could be gay and he would still be obligated to marry the woman. The same would apply if the woman was lesbian.

[billyskank]

13. My bengali aunt was trying to get me hitched a few weeks ago

She has a few nieces for whom her sister is looking for eligible batchelors. Preferably westerners. Crazy shit! (For me).

[Finder]

4. I would...

if I were single, that is.

[Shell Beau]

6. I am going to say no, b/c in the process

I am missing out on letting myself find someone that I truly love. And that is worth more than money to me. I would date him though. No marriage.

[ihaveaquestion]

12. How so? Your marriage would be understood to be a sham.

Have anyone you want live with you and do what you like.

[Shell Beau]

14. I take marriage more seriously than that though!

[billyskank]

15. The modern western model of "marry whom you love" doesn't have

a very good track record, regards divorce rates and such. I'm not implying or suggesting anything, just food for thought!

[Shell Beau]

16. I understand that, but that doesn't take away from

what I feel about marriage. And luckily my parents are still together (for 30 years).

[billyskank]

18. That's heartening.

Mine aren't. I'll probably stay single.

[Shell Beau]

20. If that is what you want then that is great. Good luck in whatever you do.

Some relationships can stand the test of time though!

[ihaveaquestion]

21. I guess I used to - but divorce does things to you.

[Shell Beau]

23. I am sure it does. It must take an

emotional and financial toll on you.

[AngryAmish]

7. I was once asked to marry a girl so she could get a green card.

$20,000 cash. As in cash - $50s and hundreds. At a time in my life when I was broke.

She was really good looking too. I said no. First of all it was a crime (I would lose my license to do my job if I got caught). Second, it would just seem yucky (it would not be an exclusive relationship for either of us).

However, your situation is different. I would not do it because you would be creating children just to get money. It would be cruel to them.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

11. Well, yes and no.

Certainly, the children would be well-cared for materially.

[Misunderestimator]

8. Why not gay women? We're perfectly capable of having kids without love...

for money too. :shrug:

[LynneSin]

10. Yes under the following circumstances...

mainly the gay man in question has to be someone who I feel is also a good friend. The money would only be secondary.

[Lilith Velkor]

17. No, because I don't want kids.

[billyskank]

19. It's always possible you could end up loving each other anyway

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite of love. In fact I believe they are independent principles.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

27. I agree.

You can have great sex with someone you don't like at all, and love someone dearly with whom you can't even fathom the idea of sexual relations with.

[sinkingfeeling]

22. Only if he can do finish carpentry!

[faithnotgreed]

24. if this man lives anywhere outside the us

then absolutely yes

though on second thought if we were going to live in iraq etc then i better bow out
but other than that most definitely

and if i really got to choose please let him live in canada or costa rica or somewhere with more sane people than there are in this country

on edit: oops for a minute there i completely forgot that i dont believe in bringing more children into the world
there are so many little ones who need love so if i were to have children then it would be adoption

but i doubt i get to put any conditions on the marriage huh

[MissMillie]

25. I'm out of the running

My plumbing has been disconnected.

[Divameow77]

26. If it was a Wil & Grace situation

meaning, if he was looked like Eric McCormack (okay j/k) and we got along great and I was in my 30's and wanted to have children but had no prospects on the horizon, then yea I probably would.

[prole_for_peace]

28. i did something kind of like that. (but no kids and not so lucrative)

my best friend was in the army. he was also gay. he said we could get married and he would get extra money and he would split it with me. so, being broke and in my early 20's, i agreed. we were married for about 5 years. he eventually told his commanding officer that he had become gay and was booted out.

i might do your scenerio for the money but i don't want kids so that is a deal killer.

[pitohui]

29. how much money

he must get married and bear children

actually i might marry him for free to see this trick of how he manages to bear children, it would be a useful thing to teach the straight guys

[davsand]

33. It's called a turkey baster.

No big mystery to it... He uses a magazine or film to bring things to a head, (So to speak) and presto--instant home artificial insemination!

The kids will have an unusual affinity for cooked poultry, however.


Laura

PS, just kidding about that poultry thing, BTW!

[LoZoccolo]

30. I knew this Romanian girl who was trying to get citizenship...

...before a certain deadline after which it would have become more difficult, and asked this gay guy if he'd marry her. I guess he didn't because I think I would have heard about it if he did.

But after thinking about this just now, I think if I were in his position I wouldn't have done it either. If she wanted to do this to work the system, who knows if she wouldn't have worked the system more later by divorcing later on grounds of her husband having affairs with men, charging adultery, and walking off with a decent amount of his money.

[silverpatronus]

31. if i was absolutely certain that he was gay

i'd do it. marriage means just about nothing to me. i don't need marriage to love, or love to be married. i'd just need to make sure that he was definitely gay, and that me falling in love elsewhere wouldn't nullify the agreement.

yeah it sounds cold, but like i said, i don't need marriage to validate love or love to be married. once the agreement was clear and MUTUALLY agreed upon, i'd be totally cool with it.

[lizzieforkerry]

32. It depends on how we would go about conceiving the kids.

I don't think I could have sex with someone that wasn't attracted to me. It would definitely have to be artificial. Does the trust fund stipulate how many children? What if you got married and then found out you couldn't have kids? I think it would be too hard on the children to do this. If it was just marriage maybe but not with kids...unless I was single, late 30's and really wanted children and thought I wasn't going to meet Mr OK. Then maybe.

[Blue-Jay]

34. I'm straight, but *I'd* marry a gay man. Here's why:

I could possibly DOUBLE my wardrobe without spending a damn dime!