Is or is this not ridiculous?

[jane_pippin]

Here's a hypothetical question inspired by a minor spat I'm in the middle of. Any input would be welcome:

You're 31 years old. You're an artist. You have a counter-jockey retail job that you like. You don't have a lot of money but you can pay your bills. Your art is doing well--you've sold some and you have a decent audience for it. You're pretty happy with your life and the direction it's taking at the moment.
Your family, while they respect and support your art career, worries that you're too old to be living this way. Your dad emails you jobs he thinks you would like a few times a week.
Then, out of the blue and without your asking, your dad writes your resume & cover letter for you to use when you apply for one of the many jobs he's sent you.
You probably won't use it right away, but should you apply for one of the jobs you decide that you will use the resume/cover letter your dad wrote for you.

Is this decision to use the letters written for you ridiculous or not? Why?

On edit: this isn't MY dad doing this.

[meegbear]

1. Not ridiculous

some people aren't well versed in letter writing or writing resumes. If someone wrote one up for me and I liked it, then I'd use it.

[TrogL]

2. I'd use it

Sounds like he knows what he's doing.

[mzteris]

3. no......

not ridiculous at all.

A) it's very nice that your parents care - even if they don't "get it";

B) (and in answer to the specific question) - if it's a well-written resume/letter - why the heck not? People pay others big bucks to have these things done for them!

[Dora]

4. Eh, it depends

If the job being applied for needs someone with writing skills, then it's kind of useless using a letter that somebody else wrote. If the applicant can't/won't string enough words together to write their own resume and cover letter, then there is no point in even applying for the job.

Otherwise, I'd say it's okay. Lazy, and there may be some karmic blowback, but okay.

[Debi]

5. My husband does all my writing for me

I'm not very articulate so I rough letters out and he details them for me, that way my message is in the documents, but in better terminology.

(P.S. If you are happy and productive don't change what you are doing just to have a 9 to 5 job like everyone else...it's your future, not anyone else's).

[jedicord]

6. The ridiculous part is that your dad can't see you're happy.

My parents talked me out of pursuing a musical career, 'cause "it wouldn't pay much".

So now I'm stuck getting paid well, but miserable.

My goal is to steer my son towards doing something he loves. One spends too much of one's time working to not enjoy oneself doing it.

[jane_pippin]

8. see, that's what I found odd about it

Not so much the letter writing itself, but the fact that the dad did it in the first place without being asked.

on edit: This didn't happen to me but to someone I'm very close with

[formerrepuke]

7. There are firms that will charge lots of money to arrange your resume and

"teach" you how to write cover letters. With Dad doing it, the service is (preumably) free- and what's more, the help is coming from someone who legitimately cares about the person in question.

[jane_pippin]

9. Thanks for your responses

(thought I'd thank you now since my threads never go anywhere)

:)

[no_to_war_economy]

10. you sure he hasnt already sent in resumes for you

daddy loves you

[jane_pippin]

11. It's not MY dad doing this so I can't say for sure.

He may have. My friend better look out before he finds himself gainfully employed.

[caty]

12. I can top that.

I was a store manager for 5 years. I had an ad in my store listing a job I had available and the hours this person would have to work. A woman came in and fill out an application----for her husband!
As for your dilemma--I would look over your resume and cover letter and compare it to the one your father wrote. Either pick the best out of the two or take the best from each one and put together another. Sometimes other people can see qualities in us that we don't realize.

[jane_pippin]

14. Wow--that lady was...is gutsy the right word?

"Sometimes other people can see qualities in us that we don't realize."

That's a good thing to keep in mind. Thanks for reminding me of it.

[caty]

15. I forgot to mention

that the woman proceeded to tell me what a lazy bum her husband was. Oh yea--that's the guy I want working for me!:sarcasm:

[jane_pippin]

17. LOL

"Hi potential employer! He's to lazy to fill this out himeslf--actually, he's a lazy bum in general. Please hire him!"

:rofl:

[caty]

18. Welcome to DU.

You'll love it here.:pals:

[jane_pippin]

19. Thanks, and I do.

[Dukkha]

13. I'd rather be a counter jockey than a corporate whore

living a simple humble life is much les stressful than being in debt up to your eyeballs. Continue being an artist. You don't need to conform to someone else's lifestyle to be considered successful.

[billyskank]

16. If they're any good (and correct), then fuck it. Use 'em

[jbane]

20. At 31 slackers start to morph into .....loosers!

You should listen to your Dad. The older your get the smarter he will get.

[element23]

21. not ridiculous

people have a 3rd party prepare their resumes all the time - it's actually better because they can look at your body of work objectively.

[SmokingJacket]

22. If the dad's a great writer, why not.

Nevertheless, I hope this person doesn't cave into their dad and get a job he or she has no interest in doing. I can't tell you how many people I know who regret not pursuing their artistic goals and now live lives of quiet desperation.

The more money you make, the more you spend. Might as well not make much to begin with.

The time for dad to impose his work ethic was back when the child WAS a child. Now it's time for him to butt out.

[jane_pippin]

23. Ok, here's my take on it:

First of all, this didn't happen to me but to my boyfriend.

I don't find the letter writing odd, in and of itself. I just find it odd that his dad went to the trouble of doing all this without being asked for help.

I get that his dad was trying to help, and obviously it's done with love. My knee-jerk reaction was that my boyfriend is old enough to do this sort of thing himself if and when he chooses to do it, and he's old enough to ask for help when he needs it. I also immediately thought of it as a judgment on how he's living his life. He did the corporate cube thing for a few years and hated it. Now that he's got more time to work focus on his art he's much happier.

All in all it's not that big of a deal, but I just wanted some other opinions to take into account and give me some perspective before I went off and had a fit based only on my knee-jerk response. Thanks DU. Wild crazy fit averted.

:toast: