If you could change one thing from your past... what would you change?

[BlondieK143]

And why?

I'd go back and kick my ass for not finishing high school for numerous things. Serious ass kicking.

[Heidi]

1. My past is part of what made me who I am . . .

so, I guess I wouldn't change anything. Yeah, it'd might have been nice if I hadn't spent the first six years of my life as daughter to a poor, alcohol- and drug-addicted biological mother in the south, but if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have been adopted by two of the most compassionate, intelligent and genuinely loving people on earth. In short, I'm far from perfect today, but I pretty much like who I am, and what I don't like, I have the power to change. :shrug:

[eyepaddle]

3. I won't tell you what to change, but

we all like you pretty much the way you are! :)

:pals:

[Heidi]

14. Thanks, my friend.

That's a nice dividend of just trying to be a decent human being. :hug:

[jobycom]

5. Ah, go ahead, admit

You ARE perfect today! WHy change a thing?

Funny, of course. If you changed anything about your past, you'd be a different person today, and the person you are might want to change back to the very thing you changed from... Damn, I wish I had never watched Donnie Darko!

[Heidi]

12. No, I'm far, far, far from perfect.

My imperfection led me to travel to the little Oklahoma town where I was born 42 years ago, to have what I thought (at 35) would be a confrontation with my natural mother. And it didn't turn out like that at all. No, it wasn't the whole Oprah-like scene of us running toward one another through a field of daisies. It was two adult women meeting and coming to mutual respect. I respect my natural mother because she had two kids taken away from her and didn't poverty, DHS and the status quo to plow her under. She went on with her life. That's worth admiring, wouldn't you agree?

[jobycom]

18. Sure, I'd agree! But

You're still perfect! :applause:

Seriously, though, I was adopted, too. At birth, though, and I've had no interest in finding my birth mother--my own parents are perfect enough (Sounds like you had the same good fortune, from your earlier post). I have wondered at times, though, if she wonders how I turned out, if she would like to be reassured that she made the right decision, that I turned out okay. I guess that comes from my being a parent now.

Anyway, I'm not just rambling, that was my roundabout way of saying thanks for sharing your story on it.

[Heidi]

24. Well, jobycom . . .

I'd bet your birth mother wonders about you. I can't imagine her not thinking about you and wondering how you turned out. That'd be a good thing to post in the DU Adoption Group. :hug:

[Lilyhoney]

6. I love you Heidi.

:applause: And besides, then you would just have to learn the same lessons in another way.

[Heidi]

26. Thanks, Lilyhoney.

For me, it's like the Stones song: "You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes well you might find, You get what you need." I've gotten what I needed, and a lot more besides. :pals:

[GOPisEvil]

8. This is my standard answer too.

What if I didn everything the way I wish I could have and got hit by a bus at 25? Nah, things are ok overall. :)

[Mabus]

19. I was asked this question at a job interview once

My answer was (and remains): Everything I've ever done and everyone I've met has made me the person I am today, and I like myself.

I didn't get hired. Instead I applied to law school and got in. Sure there are things I wish I had done, opportunities I wish I had taken but I am happy with who I am and I'm grateful for the life I have led (even the bad parts). Ten years ago, on her deathbed, my mother told me she was proud that I was her daughter. That's all I'll ever need to be happy with my life because I was proud of my mom and her life. If she was proud of me I can't be doing too bad.

[Heidi]

25. Right on, Mabus.

Sounds to me like you're doing more than OK. :pals:

[Mabus]

27. I can either play the hand

that's dealt (knowing full well that I'm the dealer most of the time) or I can sit around and kill time wondering "what if". It helps a lot that my personal motto is "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

[gmoney]

2. I would have applied to more and better colleges...

I took the first one that offered me a dime in scholarship money, but I'm sure I had the grades to get into a top tier school.

Oh, and I wouldn't have quit that first job when I did, and I certainly would NOT have cashed out my 401k like I did. Idiot!

[jobycom]

4. I wouldn't have responded to this thread

And would have concentrated on my job just now instead of goofing off.

But wait, it's not in my past until I hit the "post" button! Someone stop me! Don't do it Jobycom! It's, It's, It's useless.

[Taverner]

7. I would have applied myself in High School

and found a way to go to some Ivy League School. I look good in Abercrombie.

[anarch]

9. let's see: how about I get born into obscene wealth?

yep, that was a real mistake of mine, not being rich.

[MindPilot]

10. I wish I'd followed my dreams more than "making a living"

I grew up in one of those environments where the expectation was you'd finish school, learn a trade, get a 9-5 job, work for a lifetime, move up in the company, retire, die.

I would go back and completely ignore that advice since it has absolutely no connection to reality. Then I would become a "wheelman" in the film industry. Or a street lawyer. Maybe both. I wish I'd gone to law school, and I wish I'd gotten an automotive engineering degree.

[HereSince1628]

11. I'd have kept my mouth shut for 5 minutes

sucked up and not complained that the chairmens graduate students assigned as my teaching assistants never showing up to prep and leaving the teaching labs in a mess.

I wouldn't have got pissed off when I cut my finger on a cover slip trying to clean a drain filled with frog bits. It probably would have saved my career.

[Champ]

13. Everything

My life is a mess! x(

[Mabus]

15. I would have walked up that guy 20+ years ago

and started a conversation. At the time, I was far too shy and didn't think he would be attracted to me. As it turns out he wanted to talk to me too. We finally met about five years ago and have since gotten married. We talk about that day when we caught each other's eye. He wanted to talk to me too but was too shy. Of course, if we had met back then there's no guarantee that we would still be together today. As it is, things worked out just fine. Today, instead of spending our time on "what could have been", we spend our time looking forward to the rest of our lives together.

[bertha katzenengel]

16. I would have rec'd a better education (I mean, the kind you have to

pay tuition for).

[sir_captain]

17. Would have taken a different strategy with a girl...

I think I'm going to lament that one for the rest of my life

[SOteric]

30. Change the word 'girl' to 'guy' and ditto the above.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

20. While I believe that everything happens for a reason,

and as I look back at the reality that is my life, I recognize the reasons why I made "mistakes", if I could change ONE, it would be to have gone to grad school sooner.

Or one other thing, but I can't tell it here, since this is a family board. LOL :D

[Redstone]

21. Wouldn't have ridden the skid.

Redstone

[Lerkfish]

22. nothing major...

all my big decisions I think were necessary and instructful when they weren't wonderful

but one thing I regret:
When in college, while out with my current girlfriend and her best friend, the friend asked if she could hold my hand, too, while I was holding my girlfriend's hand and smooching.
I flinched and made some lame comment that said "no". I can still clearly see the disappointment on BOTH their faces, now, 30 years ago.

why oh why didn't I see it THEN?

see? a little thing that would have affected my life in no way now.

[StopTheMorans]

23. probably wouldn't have hung out with so many skinks

[pitohui]

28. be born to richer parents

why not go all the way back to the beginning

[Fly by night]

29. Getting married too early, and too often

My second marriage in particular. It was the shortest marriage or the longest hallucination on record.

How short was it, you ask?

Well, our wedding picture and divorce announcement were in the same issue of my hometown paper -- two pages apart.

[Jamastiene]

31. I'd tap myself on the shoulder and

tell myself to go to the Recording Workshop instead of joining my first band. I could have toured with Deborah Harry possibly if I had gone on to become an audio engineer instead of a guitarist in a noname town not worth living in. I could have escaped this horrible wretched place years ago, but didn't go to school in Chillicothe, Ohio when I had a chance. Not that I know much about Chillicothe, Ohio, but at lleast the school would have put in a good word for me to musical acts and let me go on tour or work in a music recording studio. I actually enjoy what I have seen and done recording with the bands I have been in more than the live shows even. I would have gotten a lot more fun in by now had I just gone when I had the chance. I kick myself every day, but I am making up for it in a way now. I'm studying to become a computer/electrical engineer. Damn, why can't I work on music. Computers'll do maybe. I do love them too.

[RedCloud]

32. those losing lotto numbers when it was $400,000,000

Then I could make a sizeable donation to the DU!

great avatar there, BlondieK143

[yellowdogintexas]

33. wouldn't have married my first husband, although my current

husband likes to remind me that if I had NOT married my first husband, and stayed with him as long as I did, then we would not ever have even met, much less gotten married.

I also wouldn't have rushed myself through college in three years; I would have enjoyed it a lot more, andprobably made better grades.