Anyone have daughters around age 8-9?

[BamaGirl]

When do you have the period talk? Yes, I know I am remiss in not having this talk already. I have to do it very soon. We have friends whose daughters started in the 9-10 age range. But, man, it pisses me off. They ought to be able to have a few more years, ya know? Hell, I was 16! I just have no idea how to approach this, and I'm wondering how/when other people did. They go back to school in a week and I need to do it before then, I think.

[babylonsister]

1. Wow! I'm approaching

50, and my mom, who was an orphan, sent me to a class. She had no clue so I think you should chat it up for all it's worth. My mom's method wasn't great.

[BamaGirl]

3. Neither was my mom's which was

wow! slap you out out of the blue! with it lol. In my mother's defense, she was much younger than I was lol, and she is, um lemme think, 54. We had it in school long before I started, but other ppl started long before school approached it. I just don't want my daughters to go thru that. Mom says she was totally in the dark. :crazy: I don't want my girls to be in the dark.

[joneschick]

2. I have 3 daughters, now 17,15 and 14

we started the discussion when they were about 3 or 4--really. It started with them seeing other little girls with pierced ears. I began telling them that when they had their first period we would have their ears pierced. And the discussions blossomed little by little in the finest increments from there. Whenever they were ready to add to or check on what they had heard from peers, the format was in place. "when I get my ears pierced....."

All 3 of my girls hit the event in the 11 - 12 year old range. They were fully prepared and ready to talk.

[BamaGirl]

4. I guess I'm interested in detail

I mean, of course I'm going to have to go into detail, ya know? They have a little brother and they see the physical differences and they are starting to have to wear bras with some stuff so they know their bodies are changing, etc. I think maybe I'm just freaked about it all. They're 8 and 9, ya know? My 8 year old has a figure most grown women would kill for. It's bothersome. What the hell is going on? I'm 33. The girls I knew at this age were not at this stage of development. I was really hoping they would have a few more years to get to just be girls, ya know? I look at them and I know that is not going to be the case. They do feel free to talk to me about anything, which is good. I'm just not so sure that I'm ready to talk about it lol!

[joneschick]

5. it's a safe bet they've been talking with friends

you may have to arrange a comfortable setting to find out what they think they know for starters. Make sure their information is good and ask what else they want to know or have clarified. What's Happening to My Body? is a kinda cutesy book, just silly enough to break the ice if need be, with good clear answers.

I know what you mean about the maturing bodies. More than just a little disconcerting. You can't just pretend it ain't happening even if they want to. Mine all have figures I would have killed for. It's ok.

I'm at work now, so I hafta sign off. But I'm here. I'll ask my girls what they knew when and what I told them when. It was more of an ongoing conversation. Ask away.

[BamaGirl]

26. I'll ask them if they have talked to their friends about it

but I don't think they have. They've asked me all kinds of stuff that I've been surprised by, but never this.

Please let me know what your daughters have to say.

[flordehinojos]

16. maybe the fact that their bodies are changing physically ...might be an

intro for you to approach the subject with them.
here's a link that might help think about how you want to approach the subject with them ...
http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/growing/talk_about_menstruation.html
you might also want to google "Talking to your Child About Menstruation" might give you other links that you may like better.

I hope some of this helps.

:)

[BamaGirl]

28. Thx for that link

It never would have occured to me to google this lol.

[samdogmom]

6. My daughter's school had an after school program for 3rd & 4th graders

to discuss this very topic. The District nurse ran the session, there were a lot of handouts and free samples available. The girls and their parents attended together.

If you're lucky enough to live in a place that still has health classes (i.e. sex education) in the curriculum, I'm pretty sure this topic is covered there as well.

[BamaGirl]

19. We had these classes when I was in school

but it was more like 5th or 6th grade, and I didn't go to school here. We have health classes, but it is Alabama--no sex ed of course.

[liontamer]

7. do it now!!!

you should be able to build on the stuff they already know. start with a handing them a book if you must, but give them info now.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. My daughter is now 15, but she started developing pretty young,

at about 7. She was complaining to me that her "chest hurt" one day. It was the perfect intro to talking about the changes that would be happening and we were able to build on that. I was also pregnant at the time, so we could address just about everything from first period to having babies. Good luck, I know this can appear painful, but it is actually a fond memory I have.

[Midlodemocrat]

9. I have a 15yo and a 9yo.

The 15yo didn't get hers until she was 14, so I am hoping the same for the 9yo. I did have friends whose little ones acquired the gift in 4th or 5th grade and it isn't pretty. I remember reading somewhere that the time frame anecdotally at least, had something to do with the timing of the loss of the first tooth. The later that happened, the later they got their period. :shrug:

[liontamer]

11. i think those timing things are all myths

i developed in every other way really, really early but didn't get my period till I was 14.

[BamaGirl]

22. I don't know that

the anecdotal time frames are any good either. I was 16, and I hope my girls have a few more years. Otoh, my mom was 12. :shrug: If the tooth thing has any truth then my 8yo will be first. I suspect she will be first anyway, she's developing much faster. One thing I am hearing a lot though is that girls are starting younger and younger. It's disturbing.

[coffeenap]

10. Now--please don't let her take the chance of seeing blood

and freaking out. Not a good introduction to womanhood. It isn't a hard conversation, in fact, in can be fascinating--my daughter, 11, and I talk about it reqularly and have since she was about 7. (Son too.)

[BamaGirl]

21. No I've heard too many horror stories

mostly from women my mom's age about that happening. We're going to talk about it this week.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

12. Me. She already knows how it happens.

And that it's due in 2-3 years or so. Here, it's as natural as discussing why some people need eyeglasses.

Edit: and the 4yo calls mom's pads "Mommy's diapers."

[Mutley]

13. My niece is 8

and my sister has been talking to her about it little by little for a few years now. She said it started when my niece saw her doing her period thing in the bathroom and asked about it. At 8 she's already in little training bras :wow: . Which is quite scary to me since I was there when she was born.

[pdx_prog]

14. I'm sure she already knows....

But tell her now.....I had a friend when I was young....she was 13...her mom told her absolutely NOTHING. She wound up pregnant and didn't even know it until she was like 7 months along. The school counselor called he and her mother in and had to tell BOTH of them that she was pregnant....everyone knew except for her and her mother. Her mother sent her to the doctor then promptly sent her off to a girls home to have the baby so she wouldn't be embarrassed and wouldn't have to deal with it. Before she left....she came home one day and found a book on her bed that her dipshit mom had left her that explained sex....what a damn way to learn about it.

We started our daughter very early and explained things to her. She still gets a little embarrassed when she has to ask me to take her to the store for some hardware, but we just giggle about it a little then I take her.....I was at Costco last week and they had some poontons on sale (the ones she uses). They were a box of 72. I called her to make sure they were the right ones first, then brought her home this big honking box....:)

I have two kids, and they live with me, so I have to deal with the stuff that her mother (if she was any kind of a human being) would normally do.....I just take it as it comes...

[BamaGirl]

23. Wow, that's awful pdx

I'm always surprised when I hear stories like that. I just can't imagine not realizing your kid was pregnant, ya know?

Mine aren't afraid to ask me anything, which is good for them and sometimes embarrassing for me lol. Sounds like you're doing great. I don't know many dads that could talk about this stuff with their girls. I think it's fair to say it terrifies my husband lol.

[pdx_prog]

30. LOL.....I told her a long time ago

that I would never go to the store alone to buy them for her...lol. I always ask her how her supply is when we are at the store...I have got her trained to keep a good supply of them, and different kinds just in case she needs them.

I remember this little convenience store everyone used to hang out at when I was young. One Saturday night there was a line of about ten guys at the register....everyone buying sodas, beer and cigarettes...most all the guys there were under 25. The guy that owned the store was very loud and loved to kid everyone that came in. There was a box of Tampax on the counter that night and he would pick them up and yell "are these yours?" whenever someone else stepped up to the counter. Finally this dorky looking guy in his thirties came up to the counter.....the owner picked them up and shook them and said "are these yours?!?"....the guy said "yes..." real softly, then everyone in the store started busting out laughing...lol Poor guy....he hung his head down, bought them for his wife or whoever, then slinked out of the front door amidst the ongoing laughter....lol. I still get a little spooked when I have to buy them.....rofl

[BamaGirl]

31. Omg lol

That's horrible lol. That poor guy. Sad thing is, you know at some point some of those laughers had to buy some too, and they weren't laughing then lol. ;)

[pdx_prog]

33. Yeah....

They have probably all got the same phobia about it as I do too....lol.

It's not that bad.....I just know I am going to screw up and buy the wrong ones if I do...:)

My daughter and I can joke around about it....we call them "hardware" and "poontons". At first she had a little trouble asking me for them, now she just yells at me and say's "hey! take me to the store, I need some hardware"...:)

[davsand]

15. Material Girl is 8. She asks questions.

She asked me about periods a couple of months ago. It came on the heels of a sleepover, so I assume it came up for discussion there--I dunno for for sure. Anyhow, we talked about it and I explained to her that it is how a woman knows she can have babies and it is just a part of the whole female package.

She asked if it hurts--I was at a loss because cramps suck and many women do have them. She asked it it feels weird. Again, I was at a loss because I HATE pads. I think they feel like diaper. She also expressed the opinion that she's not ready to grow up yet...

I was able to deal with the "where babies come from and what is sex" talk, but he entire menstrual talk really left me torn. Frankly, I have always found periods to be annoying, and I do not want to pass that attitude on to her. I'd like for her to feel ok about her body and being female. I don't WANT her to be freaked out about any of it, and I am scared to death that my own negativity will transmit to her.

One of my friends planned a sort of party around the arrival of her daughter's first period. They had a sleep over and made a big deal of her new "womanhood." I dunno if I can be THAT much of an Earth Mother, but I'd like to do something to make her feel like it is a milestone to be celebrated. Luckily, I think I have a bit of time to think it over.

Good luck!


Laura

[BamaGirl]

17. I know what you mean

I have endo and periods are a complete misery for me. I sure hope I don't pass that on to my girls. I'm going to have a very hard time keeping my negativity out of conversations with them about it.

[Taverner]

18. Isn't there a good kids book by Frankel?

She wrote once upon a potty, which is a good toilet training book. I think she writes a book agbout periods as well.

I would go by her first and last name, but her first name escapes me...

[BamaGirl]

24. Thx, I'll see if I can track it down nt

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. My mom read this book with me

http://tinyurl.com/dja3l

She also took it to school for her Spec Ed girls who needed a little help in understanding the way they were changing.

[BamaGirl]

25. Thx for the link GPV, I'll take a look at it! n/t

[GreenPartyVoter]

27. Any time:^)

[GumboYaYa]

29. My daughter is nine. "The Care and Keeping of You" is a great

book for any girl in the 8-9 year old range. My daughter read it about a year ago. It is written for that age child and addresses lots of questions that little girls may have but be too embarassed to ask. The book made my daughter ask questions that lead to a good discussion about sex and periods. The book is also very good on just generally caring for a young growing female body.

Here is a link to the book: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=u11kNVzAOf&endeca=1&isbn=1562476661&itm=1

[BamaGirl]

32. This looks like a great book

I think both my girls will like this one. Thx for the link!