Help with employment application

[ashling]

Having bee unemployed or underemployed for too many years now, I am looking at how I fill out employment applications in an attempt to make gaps in employment or "job hopping" more palatable to employers.

Since most of these employers tend to be Republicans, I thought that I would simply use answers which seem to go down well with such types.

So, which do you feel would be better:

"I cannot comment on this position, as it is the subject of an ongoing criminal investigation."

or the more succinct:

"I do not recall."

Your assistance is appreciated.

[Wetzelbill]

1. how about

I was so drunk and coked out during this time I don't really remember what I was doing.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Almost, but not quite

I was so drunk and coked out hanging out with the Bush family because they considered me one of them during this time I don't really remember what I was doing.

[Wetzelbill]

7. that's good

hahaha

[mykpart]

2. If I told you, I would have to kill you.

[Heidi]

4. For those nebulous gaps in your employment record

I would simply write, "I was a war president."

[Wetzelbill]

6. LOL

You are awesome!

[ashling]

5. Perhaps

It was Hard work.

[Spinzonner]

8. I was in Alabama even though no one there remembers me

[radfringe]

9. try

"I've already stated this in a previous statement"

or ---

"it depends on how you define 'employment'..."

[displacedtexan]

10. How about...?

"I disagree with your characterization of the question."

That's one of Scotty McC's weirdest responses.