Indiana Wife Wants $500,000 Pay For Housework

[emad]

Extreme Divorce: Indiana Wife Wants Pay For Housework

ALBANY, Ind. -- An Indiana woman is trying to get a paycheck for hours of work she did as a wife.

She's divorcing her husband and said she's sending him a bill for almost $500,000 for housework she says she did and kept track of over the years.

Kathy Thompson appeared on ABC's "Good Morning America" three years ago when she went on strike in an effort to get her husband to help out more around the house.

After five years of marriage to Gary Thompson, Kathy said she's trying to be reasonable. She's filing for divorce, but isn't asking for a normal alimony payment.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/4769434/detail.html

NICE work if you can get it?

[Shell Beau]

1. I saw her on GMA one day this week.

She's being keeping a tab on all of her household chores. I don't think she will get crap!

[northzax]

2. that's a lot of back taxes

she'll owe.

[halobeam]

5. Heck, I'd pay taxes on that much.

Any pay would be an improvement.

[northzax]

11. for that many years?

she's looking at jail time for deferring payment without reporting it to the IRS.

[halobeam]

18. At the time though, it wasn't a paid job.

She didn't know or even have the money then. I can't see that holding up. It's like getting an inheritance, you pay when you get the money, you don't know you are getting it until you actually do.:shrug:

[halobeam]

3. My household duties added up are @ $200,000 a year.

If I were hired "outside" my own home to do it. LOL... oh yeah... it's nice work if you can get it, more like, the work is plentiful, but it's nice PAY if you can get it.

I joke to my husband at times about charging him. Maybe I should document my time and work? hehe

[pitohui]

52. good luck

no maid service in my area pays the worker $200K a year

many pay min wage

housework is of little or no value in this country

be at peace with the mess

[xmas74]

61. That's because it's not just maid service.

They figure it as maid, cook, laundry, chauffeur-you get the picture.

[Wickerman]

4. So, I value housework as much as the next person

but $100,000.00 per year? Nice job.

on edit, uh, most people just kinda do it keep their home, not expecting a paycheck. I know the concepts are deeper, but I'm thinking she didn't enter into a contract for 100k per year and probably shouldn't expect it.;

[emad]

8. I expect if you work it out item by item - eg the number of socks,

underpants, shirts, etc washed & dried; meals prepared and cooked; errands run, etc etc not to mention non-domestic services that would entail payment to a professional....... it would work out about $100,000 minimum.

[Wickerman]

10. I suppose that is correct

and I understand her husband has probably been a controlling, tight fisted ass for the 5 years, but it kind of belies the concept of partnership in marriage if one is keeping a tally of all expenses and charging the rate of a specialist for all functions.

One should have the option of shopping around for the best price for services rendered. I am certain that 100k is not the bottom end price. To present a bill after the fact does not give him that option.

[taught_me_patience]

80. You can hire somebody to to all that for $40k...n/t

[johnnie]

6. Shezzzzzzz

:eyes:

[halobeam]

9. I obviously joke about this, but there does seem to have a ring

of truth to her point. If she basically worked for him, and he did freakin' nothing, and she exhausted not only every avenue of tryint to share the work load (which it most definetely is tedious work), but exhausted herself too in the process, then I think people who take advantage of others to this point, have some level of responsibility in this situation.

Now, is it a monetary responsibility? That doesn't seem appropriate. The responsibility of the divorce however, rests heavily on him, IMO.

[northzax]

13. maybe so, but if she was his 'employee'

then can't he charge her back rent for all the time she was a boarder in his house?

[halobeam]

15. absolutely.

In my funny little calculations I made for my husband, my salary should've been at 200,000, then I subtracted rent, utilities, food, etc... I wonder if that's what she did. 100,000 seems low, or she doesn't have kids so her time was cut down by at least a third, compared to mine. LOL....

[johnnie]

23. It's one thing to joke

But to waste the courts time and taxpayer's money on something she did voluntarily, I think is ridiculous.
People usually enter into a union, such as marriage, voluntarily. She knew who she was marrying and she made that choice. Of course I could be wrong here. He might have held a gun to her head and made her marry him, but I am guessing not.

[Hugin]

7. Seems reasonable to me.

However, if it was the one stay-at-home partner's *choice* to
homemake instead of work outside the home. I don't see how they
can charge the other partner.

[Shell Beau]

14. She actually had another job.

[Hugin]

20. Alas, so many relationships fail due to unequal personal standards.

My sweetheart and I have different "clutter" standards.

Actually, our standards are about the same... But, she
constantly worries I'm upset by clutter. I've said time
and time again I'm not upset.

I hate it when a non-issue becomes an issue.

[Shell Beau]

21. My husband and I had marriage counseling before we

got married and this was a big topic we discussed. Little things like that become big issues. My husband loves to throw his dirty clothes in a pile on the floor. I like for them to go in the dirty clothes hamper. But you learn to compromise and deal with it.

[Hugin]

22. Yeah, nothing says "I love you" more than compromise...

For example, putting your dirty clothes in the hamper
because you know that's what your partner likes.

[Shell Beau]

25. Exactly. Explain that to him.

I usually pick them up, but he used to leave his clothes crumpled up all over the place. So he has come far. But I also have to be willing to compromise and sometimes just get over it! I guess that is the way marriage or a relationship works!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

12. Fuck that.

She never had to do a damn thing if she didn't want to. Even if he were "forcing" her, she was obviously capable of divorcing him, so that's not really an excuse either. I wouldn't give her a dime.

[halobeam]

I happen to agree with you

she doesn't deserve the money for this, and at the same time, he doesn't deserve the marriage.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

19. Yep, neither of em deserve a damn thing

[billyskank]

49. Are you kidding?

I'd say they deserve each other!

[Wickerman]

16. Does that amount factor in the costs of her board & lodging?

Monies she spent? I approve her general concept but think she is going about it in the wrong way and will wind up with nothing.

[BiggJawn]

85. Careful....

You were just the "S-word" away from being called a mysoginistic slug, like me....:eyes:

[liontamer]

17. did he have a separate house that she came over to clean?

Or does she really expect to be paid for keeping her own house? :eyes:

[El Fuego]

24. I'm sorry, but if you get to stay home and do housework it's a TREAT!

And I'm a GIRL. I want to stay home and be a homemaker!!!! But I make about twice as much $$ as my live-in boyfriend so it's not happening on his salary.

She's been freeloading all these years, she doesn't deserve diddly-squat. I'm not being "sexist," I personnally know men who don't work and mooch off their wives. For moochers to demand compensation is insult to injury.

[CitrusLib]

26. Well, freeloading would be a stretch.

If she's doing all the housework, she's not there for free. Sure, she's got room and board, but sounds like she paid for it. Add in having to sleep with a slug who won't do jack around the house and I'd say they should call it even.

I happen to agree with you that it would be lovely to stay home and be a full-time mom and I'm in a position where that isn't going to happen any time soon either, but calling her a freeloader when she's scrubbing his shit off the bowl and washing his BVDs is misguided.

[El Fuego]

27. But I have to do all the housework anyways.

And work a 40 hour week on top of it. So what's the difference? :shrug:

If I could cut out the long commute and the 40 hour work week, I wouldn't be exhausted all the time. I still say compared to most of us, she had it made.

[CitrusLib]

31. Wait a sec.

You HAVE to do all the housework? Why? Are his arms broken? What is preventing you from asking for more help?

I'm still going to challenge you on her situation. We don't know what her life was like on a day to day basis. Until you've walked a mile in her shoes, it's really unfair to her (and all homemakers) to call her a freeloader or assume she has it made.

Personally, I do all the housework, work 45 hours+/week and do the majority of the childcare. I'm exhausted. I'd love to be a kept woman, but I see my sister staying at home with her three kids and I wouldn't change places with her in a heartbeat. I've made my choices. Far be it for me to criticize or put down someone elses.

[El Fuego]

38. But the couple in question is childless.

They don't mention any kids in the articles. So a walk in her shoes was a walk through Leisureville.

My take on her situation is that she is panicking at the prospect of surviving on her on own, and she wants a big payoff.

[CitrusLib]

43. That's a strong statement without knowing her.

I tend not to like sweeping generalizations or assumptions based on sparse knowledge. If you were her best friend, your categorizations of her life would hold a lot more weight.

[El Fuego]

46. What we do know about her is that she wants $500,000 cash.

I heard on Olbermann that this total includes money compensating her for sex with her husband. Which brought up an interesting point that was discussed on the show: It's illegal to pay for sex.

She wants a half mil handed to her. We all want that. I think it's safe to make a sweeping generalization that she is just plain Greedy. She's greedy in the same way that that guy held on to a severed finger from the ice cream store, hoping for a payoff. Everyone wants a payoff these days. Everyone thinks they're entitled. I have no respect for that mentality, or for her.

What is really happening is her lawyers are coaching her to do this, they get a percentage you know.

[CitrusLib]

48. So what does being greedy have to do with your original

assertion that she was a freeloader? A freeloader presumes she did nothing for what she got (room and board), when it sounds like she was doing everything for him. Your original post made it sound like you believe any woman who does not work outside the home is living on easy street.

Personally, I don't think her request for $500,000 is rational or realistic. It seems as if the request is for publicity reasons more than anything else. Whatever her motives, I really don't give a hill of beans. It throws a spotlight on division of labor in the home and that's cool with me. God knows my husband could stand to do more around the house, LOL.

[El Fuego]

59. Nothing really.

I was just trying to respond to your point.

It's just my personal perception - I HATE going to the office everyday! I wish I could stay home. To me housework is actually an enjoyable past time compared to being at work.

Sad but true. :(

[CitrusLib]

81. Ah, Fuego, the truth comes out. You're jealous.

So am I. I'd love to have the luxury of staying home. The reality is, I could get all the housework and errands done and probably still fit in a classic movie from TCM every afternoon. :D

:hug:

[El Fuego]

86. It's true, I am soooooo jealous!!!!! LOL!

:hi:

:hug:

[hickman1937]

54. I agree. It's all about greed.

I would have agreed to restitution for 24 hour child care, but she doesn't have kids and basically got a free ride.

[liontamer]

42. why do you have to do all the housework?

Don't you have a live in boyfriend?

[El Fuego]

47. He does it when I tell him to do it!

When I ask him to do something, he does. It's a pain, but I used to live with another guy who was clean freak who would throw my stuff away (like my mail and my magazines), which drove me crazy. So the situation now is like a lesser evil.

I really don't want to live with someone who is more of a clean freak than me, it makes me feel inadequate! :7 Because then I'd be the sloppy one!

[LisaL]

28. A Treat? For whom? I would go crazy if all I had to do is to

stay home and do house work.
On the other hand, the husband didn't promise to pay her for house work. She did it voluntarily. I don't see how she can demand money from him now.

[El Fuego]

35. I figure the housework would take about three hours a day.

Then it's off to the beach for a few hours, then maybe I'll take tennis lessons from a handsome tennis pro, then down to a waterside bar for a little cool afternoon libation while watching the boats go by, then I'll get home just in time to whip up dinner.

It would be the life, no? I've got this all planned.

[xmas74]

63. Depends on the size of the house,

does he have dinner parties, does she mend clothing, does she garden,etc. A decent size house (especially an older one, w/ lots of nooks and crannies that seem to attract dust) can take all day long to clean.

[El Fuego]

69. Hmm... might have to hire a domestic staff.

As long as it's just a fantasy, might as well go all the way!

[xmas74]

70. My best friend's mother lives in a very large home.

She is a teacher and lives in an old 17 room Victorian. She and her husband purchased the home and renovated it so they got it for a steal. If you were to clean it properly it would take about 10 hours daily. There is so much woodwork in the home, handcarved detailing, real panelling, built-in shelving, wood flooring and many other details that it takes forever to clean. She looked into a cleaning service once. They stated that they would need to send over 3-4 people to clean the house at $25 per cleaner (the cleaners only received $6.50 per hour, the rest went to the company) for a minimum of four hours. And her yard is huge so any gardening would run a decent amount. She's had estimates done for that also.
And living in this house is not an attempt at her trying to live beyond her means. She and her husband bought the house at auction for $56,000 and put in another $70,000 in repairs which made the price a steal (and cheaper than many newer homes in our area).

[El Fuego]

73. That would be my dream house

I love big old houses. That was a steal!!! An amazing price compared to where I live.

[xmas74]

74. You have to look out for them at auction.

You can get them pretty inexpensive then. And you have to be willing to work on them.
But you can see in a case like hers how she would almost need a staff for just cleaning alone, even though they are not living outside of their means.

[El Fuego]

75. You would have to do it full time.

My Aunt bought a colonial mansion in Kentucky which she fixed up into a bed and breakfast. It is so beautiful. She said it was always her dream as a young girl to live in the Biggest House in Town and she finally did it.

[xmas74]

76. That's why I can understand where the woman in

the original article is coming from. If she has a decent size home like this than the upkeep and cleaning is a fulltime job.

[El Fuego]

77. According to Florida divorce law

She would be entitled to the value of the improvement for the home. Like if they bought the house for $100,000 and as a result of her work (alone) it was worth $300,000, she could claim she was legally entitled to $200,000.

[xmas74]

78. That is a good thing.

But there is alot to be said about the day to day improvements that really go under the radar on a home. Simple things like paint and planting flowers in the front yard. Nothing too expensive yet it can be time consuming and can make a big difference in the appearance of the house.

[gollygee]

29. You don't have a clue

I stay at home and it isn't a treat and it isn't freeloading. I am not a moocher.

If you ever stay home with kids and do all the housework, you'll develop a new attitude about it.

[El Fuego]

33. I don't have kids.

I hear ya. I understand it's a lot of work if you have kids and you're certainly not a moocher. I think mothers should stay home with their kids, my Mom did.

[GreenPartyVoter]

30. Free-loading? As a stay-at-home mom I find that offensive. Just because

I don't collect a paycheck doesn't make me a freeloader.

The feminist movement wasn't about forcing women to go out and work. It was about having the right to choose the direction of your own life. And that includes not working outside the home.

I would say from your post you have issues with your man. Tell him to smarten up and pull his own weight, but don't come down on other people who stay home just because he's a clod.

[emad]

32. There are no gold medals for parenthood. Ditto homemaking.

Or relationships.....

[GreenPartyVoter]

36. No kidding. there's just "I made the money, I'll decide how to spend it"

[Darth_Kitten]

40. Here here!!

:thumbsup: :)

[Darth_Kitten]

39. Housework isn't a picnic

You call this woman a moocher yet you say you want to do the same thing she did. :shrug:

Sounds like the husband in this case mooched off his wife.

[Book Lover]

50. A fucking treat?!

Yes, you must be a girl. No grownup woman I know who is a SAHM/SAHW would say what you just did.

[El Fuego]

57. Yes

And you must be someone blissfully unburdened with crushing professional responsiblities who can't appreciate the simple joys of housework.

[Book Lover]

62. Wrong

I work 40 hours a week as a publishing professional, as I have for the past 14 years. I have also been a hotel maid, laundress, and the primary cleaner for the home I grew up in. You, on the other hand, sound like someone blissfully unburdened by life experience. Get ready for the crushing weight, sister. No one escapes.

[El Fuego]

66. And what will this crushing weight be?

[Book Lover]

71. I took you off ignore for that?

How sad. Engage with someone else, kid.

[El Fuego]

72. If you take this that seriously, there is something wrong with you.

[Bucky]

34. Shit, I want $500,000 pay for housework

But do you think I'll get that out of my teenager? No way. Kids today are so unreasonable.

[jpgray]

37. I should charge my ex $500,000 for the psychiatric care I provided

Give me a break. :eyes: The compensations should be there in a relationship without money changing hands--if they aren't there, someone doesn't need to tally up a bill, they need to leave the relationship.

[emad]

41. Sometimes the drudgery of housework piles up proportionally

to other accumulated resentments in a relationship.

Getting even in the divorce courts is one option I guess.

[jpgray]

44. That would be a brilliant precedent

A rich husband with an indolent wife could tally up the value of her housework, and if it compared unfavorably to the amount of his money she spent, he could claim the difference as due compensation. Or perhaps women could keep a tally of performed sexual acts, and then ascertain the street value for such and present a bill for that in divorce court. It's just a dumb, stupid, moronic idea.

[emad]

45. Yep, it's dumb allright, and extremely popular in divorce courts

the world over.

[billyskank]

51. I live alone, so who do I charge?

Granted, a one-person household takes less looking after, so I'd only be looking for, say, 25K (British) a year. I think that's reasonable.

[youspeakmylanguage]

53. This woman is addicted to public attention...

Kathy Thompson appeared on ABC's "Good Morning America" three years ago when she went on strike in an effort to get her husband to help out more around the house.

Apparently her 15 minutes of fame ran out too soon, so she had to pull another stunt to get back on television. It sounds like she needs private counseling more than anything.

[LeftyMom]

56. Agreed

Since the stunt she pulled last time got her sympathy she's going to do it again.

So the guy's a jerk and she had to wash his BVDs. This is not national news, it's local gossip.

[BiggJawn]

55. He should charge her for sex.

Or Rent. Or room and board.

Hope she finds out there a bit of a difference between being ridiculous on GMA and being ridiculous in a courtroom.

100 kilobucks a year? That house had better had looked like you could have shot a Hugh Grant flick in there.

[BlueIris]

67. WTF? That's a disgusting statement.

I just...what? Disgusting.

[BiggJawn]

84. Did you read beyond the subject line?

I'm guessing no.

[chicaloca]

82. oh, right.

because of course no woman would ever have sex of her own free will. We just don't have a sex drive, we only do it out of obligation, and of course any woman who has sex with a man must be a whore. This has got to be one of the most fucking misogynistic statements I've seen on DU in a while. I hope you can find the counseling you need to deal with the issues you obviously have with sex.

[BiggJawn]

83. Hey, SHE lived there too....

Or are you trying to tell me if she hadn't been living with "some MAN" that she'd had never run the sweeper or washed a dish for herself?

"This has got to be one of the most fucking misogynistic statements I've seen on DU in a while"

Oh, give me a fucking BREAK. Yeah, throw the "Misogynist" card. I suppose you think half-a-million is fair comnpensation? Like I said, I'd like to see what a 100 kilobuck-a-year housekeeper does.

"because of course no woman would ever have sex of her own free will. We just don't have a sex drive, we only do it out of obligation, and of course any woman who has sex with a man must be a whore."

And you got ALL of THAT out of "He should charge her for the sex"????? Whoa! I didn't know I was being a "codetalker" or something.

Yeah, somebody here has "issues", but I really don't think they're all MINE.

Man....I work all day, come home, keep house AND feed the fish. Wish somebody'd pay ME a hundred-fuckin-thousand dollars a year for what a civilized person living by himself is SUPPOSED to do already...

[BlueIris]

88. Agree 110% with you, chicaloca.

I mean, truly. Those statements are out of line.

[MissB]

58. She kept track?

Bloody hell.

[WCGreen]

60. One of my clients just agreed to pay

his X $ 170k for essentially the same thing....

On Edit, I hit the button too fast.....

When I pointed this out to him, he said, well that seems fair now doesn't it....

[xmas74]

64. Of course, she might not really expect this money.

She could be doing this just to prove a point (that SAHM/SAHW) do more work than anyone expects of them. Also, it can be hard for a woman who stayed at home to find work right away. Employers see a gap in employment and will sometimes pass up a qualified candidate because of it.
I'd do it not expecting the money but to prove to the world that yes, I did work those past five years and did more work than anyone ever thought I did.

[noamnety]

65. Will one of you pay me

to clean up after myself?

Here's my proposal, if any of you DUers need some extra help around the house. I will make myself dinner every night, and make extra so you can have some. Then I will charge you for the preparation of both meals, as well as the cleanup of all pots and pans.

Also, I will do our laundry, and you will pay me an hourly rate for doing your laundry. And mine.

Do I have any takers?

[Divameow77]

68. If he can afford to pay her $500,000

then he could have afforded a housekeeper.

She chose to do the housework, I highly doubt he physically forced her, she could have chosen to live in filth. She claims to have started working part-time, so if her husband worked full-time and paid the bills then she probably should do more housework then her husband.

[bridgit]

79. aim high/shoot low...

[meow2u3]

87. I think she ought to go a step further

Raising kids and keeping house is very hard work, and for too long, those who did that slaved away like slaves, only to have their work not only be unpaid, but also unappreciated by society. Being a homemaker doesn't even count as job experience, and I think it should!

Personally, she ought to sue her husband for involuntary servitude or slavery; that will strike the nerves of chauvanistic slavedrivers who think marriage is a master-slave or tyrant-subject relationship instead of an equal partnership.

[BlueIris]

89. Best post of the thread!

It's sad how many assholes still do not understand how badly they're treating the "homemakers" in their lives, who aren't so much making their homes liveable, as they are keeping everything within their lives functional, including the families those homemakers are also raising. All without benefit of financial compensation or the barest forms of gratitude, usually.

[EstimatedProphet]

90. Locking

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