a toast on the passing of a good man.

[ulysses]

Some may remember a thread of mine a couple of months ago about going to Hogansville with Ms Uly to see an old friend who was dying. He passed away last night, sitting up in his room in his sister's house, surrounded by his books and his whiskey.

What to say about Jeff Gaynor? Quintessential southern hippie, less formally educated than some but extraordinarily well-read and deeply interested in huge swaths of what life had to offer. Very politically knowledgeable, he was progressive in all things I ever knew about him and approached the radical in some. I believe he was an atheist, but was very good-natured and sweet about his sister's deep religious beliefs after he went to live with her and her husband the last two years of his life. He was often fierce toward the willfully foolish and stupid, but was surpassingly tender toward children, animals and those who at least tried to understand.

He was a big man, physically - I'd say 6'2"/250 or so. The last time we saw him, he laughed at the memory of the time he'd scoffed at the idea of my old dog Sonya (55 lbs) dragging anyone around...and had then been pulled nearly around the block after I'd handed him her leash. I sat one day about ten years ago and watched him let her con him out of an entire hamburger, one component at a time. Gentle man.

Jeff spent much of his life in a lot of pain. He was born with a degenerative bone disease caused by a prescription drug his mother had taken - not thalidomide, but same kind of idea. To this day I'm in awe of the strength of his character: he very rarely took anything for the pain he was rarely without.

His death, while sad, is still something of a relief, as his last couple of weeks were hard. I'm going back to Hogansville on Tuesday for the memorial service and to retrieve a box of books I'm told he wanted to leave for us. He enjoyed having the time to parcel out where that big wall of books would go.

It is fitting, I think, to raise a Friday afternoon glass of whiskey to the man, as he enjoyed it at least as much as I do.

Fair winds and following seas, my friend. You'll be missed.

[Pithlet]

1. I'm sorry, Uly

He sounds like someone I would have liked to have met. You were lucky to have such a friend.

[ulysses]

5. thanks, Pithlet.

I was indeed.

[Pithlet]

24. I take that back. You weren't lucky.

Of course someone like you would have such a great friend. And I'm glad you did.

[GOPisEvil]

2. I'm sorry for your loss, Uly.

That's a touching remembrance of him.

A :toast: to Jeff Gaynor.

[ulysses]

6. thank you, David.

:)

[Wickerman]

3. Peace to Jeff

and a wonderful tribute. He sounds like a good man.

[ulysses]

7. he was that, in spades.

Thanks, Wickerman.

[Wickerman]

10. Read those books

a man who loves books and who took the time to sort books out just for you was serious - you meant a lot to him.


:toast:

[ulysses]

11. you may believe that I will.

:)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

4. Toasting with ya, Uly

:toast:

[ulysses]

8. I think you'd have gotten a kick out of him, Teena.

:toast:

[redqueen]

9. That was a beautiful toast, uly.

Thanks for sharing his memory with us. He sounds like a truly great person.

[ulysses]

12. you're more than welcome.

We need more like him.

[redqueen]

28. Truly, we do.

Thanks again... did my heart good to read that.

[UrbScotty]

13. Best of wishes to you, Mrs. Uly, and Jeff's family.

:hug:

[ulysses]

15. thanks!

:)

[youspeakmylanguage]

14. Sounds like they broke the mold...

RIP, brother.

[ulysses]

17. pretty much.

He wasn't without his human faults, to be sure, but a damned fine human being.

[youspeakmylanguage]

18. Anyone without human faults...

...isn't a human being.

[ulysses]

20. heh - point well taken.

:D

[mike_c]

16. what a wonderful eulogy, ulysses....

Jeff sounds like a fine gentleman, and you sound fortunate to have been touched by his life. RIP Jeff Gaynor.

[ulysses]

19. he was, and we are.

Thanks. :)

[Brewman_Jax]

21. I'm sorry to hear

Let a toast go to Jeff :toast:

[ulysses]

22. thanks, Argyle.

:toast:

[WCGreen]

23. The world shuddered a bit lat night.....

I didn't know him but miss him already....

[ulysses]

25. europe is the lesser

indeed.

[enigmatic]

26. A toast to Jeff

I wish I'd have known him; he sounds like somebody everybody needs in their life, and not only were you lucky to have known him, he sounds like he was lucky to have known you, too:)

:toast:

[ulysses]

27. he had a great taste for jazz, too.

Audiophile stuff - all vinyl. We were the fortunate ones.

Thanks! :toast:

[July]

29. You honor your good friend with these words.

They make me wish I could have known him. That is a credit to his life and your writing both.

I join your toast. To Jeff Gaynor, a good man remembered by a good friend.

[ulysses]

30. thank you, July

:toast:

[bigwillq]

31. I will raise my beer

later tonight to Uly.
Sorry for the loss.:hug:

[ulysses]

32. appreciate that.

:toast:

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. A Beautiful rememberance *hugs and prayers*

[ulysses]

35. thanks, GPV!

:)

[BikeWriter]

34. I'm sorry about your friend passing. Remember him well...

talk of him often.

[ulysses]

36. I appreciate that, BikeWriter.

Thank you. :thumbsup:

[In_The_Wind]

37. Fair winds and following seas

Jeff Gaynor


I'm sorry for your loss ~ ulysses :hug:

[ulysses]

39. thanks, Joan.

:toast:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

38. My dear Ulysses...What a moving and beautiful tribute to your

dear and good friend Jeff Gaynor. This is one beautifully written eulogy...I felt saddened at the loss of this extraordinary man, and at the ending words "Fair winds and following seas, my friend..." I lost it and the tears came to my eyes.

A toast to Jeff Gaynor: :toast: May his spirit live in our memories forever, and inspire us when the road twists before us...

[ulysses]

40. thank you, Peggy.

The best we can do sometimes is to remember someone. :toast: