Have You Ever Been Madly In Love with Someone You Cannot Have?

[TammyLittlenut]

Me neither.

Cocktail, anyone?

[Droopy]

1. How did you know my answer?

Are you psychic or something?

[ofrfxsk]

2. Absolutely

Are you all right?

[fortyfeetunder]

3. Thank goodness, no

I learned early about unrequited crushes as a kid. A waste of emotion. Concluded it was best to go for what one can get!

[TammyLittlenut]

8. You're smart!

I only go for the ones I can't have. Anything less would be settling for someone who would like me.

That's sad when I type it out.

:(

[Floogeldy]

4. Yes. And I don't even know her name.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[Ksec]

5. My sister in law

Well now shes my ex sister in law , but I had a huge crush on her.

Hey, it was out of my control. Lighten up:)

[friesianrider]

6. Absolutely.

ADS...you know who you are.

[Wetzelbill]

33. wow if this can even happen to you

maybe there is hope for us mere mortals out there. :)

[friesianrider]

He wasn't even that attractive - physically i mean.

He was kinda overweight actually.

Gorgeous, gorgeous soul though. Pre-med and very intelligent. I still miss him and love him very much :(

[Wetzelbill]

38. aww that's sweet

You're an awesome woman, you know that? :):hug:

On another note, WTF, was that guy thinking? :)

[friesianrider]

42. lol...

I have spent the last 4 years attempting to figure out what he was thinking. All indications were that he felt the exact same way I did - then all of a sudden he broke my heart. I wish I knew why...

[Wetzelbill]

46. yeah some things

you can never explain. Never can quite figure them out. But, on the bright side, I see from that other thread, you have some pretty big male fans here at DU. Not the least of which is me. :loveya:

But seriously, WTF was that guy thinking? :)

[friesianrider]

47. Care to tell him that?

I do wish he felt the same way you did...you're very sweet :)

[Wetzelbill]

48. and let him whisk you away from me?

Not a chance. :)

[friesianrider]

50. awww...

*blushing*

[Wetzelbill]

53. scoooooooooooore!

:)

[jobycom]

7. It's a wasted year if I don't!!

Don't let kids learn to fall in love by listening to Dolly Parton's "I will always love you." Really screws up that whole "love is supposed to be a good thing" perception.

[Speck Tater]

9. I had a crush in high school

but I was such a shy nerd that I couldn't get a date with anybody, so basically, EVERYONE was unavailable to me then.

Then I had an instant crush on a woman I saw in a store once. I was married, and she was wearing a wedding band, so, yes, I couldn't have her. But... several years later, after I had been divorced for a while, I ran into her again, and she had been divorced in the meantime. One thing lead to another and a year later we ended up getting married. Strange how that works sometimes.

Of course she left me two years later. Oh well.

Now I'm a celebate hermit, and loving every minute of it. ;)

[rockymountaindem]

10. Yes, and I still am right now.

Well, maybe not madly, but I still really like her.

[khashka]

11. Depends on what you mean

Have as in keep or have as in Know Biblically?

My boyfriend's ex. I finally got him into bed after a dozen jello shots, a promise to have my boyfriend committed against his will, and a half hour discussion about the joys of snot. By the time I got him into the hotel room I had kind of lost my taste for the whole thing, as you might expect. I was no longer madly in love with him and I sure didn't want to keep him.

Khash.

[Lady Effingbroke]

12. Oh, I was madly in love with him, and I had him, I just couldn't keep him.

Oh, well.

[xmas74]

13. Sure.

I have always had a thing for men who some would call geeks. They never would approach me since the "bad boys" usually hung out w/ me. My dates in high school and college were w/ the "bad boys"-because they were the ones who would ask me out. People made comments about it all the time. Truthfully, I wish that one of the smart guys would have asked me out instead. I would have been better off w/ one of them. I figured that they wouldn't ask me out because they didn't like me. Turns out they were afraid of me and afraid that I would turn them down.
The classmates that I think about the most(whenever I look back) were always the smart guys in school who were in the chess club, computer club and the marching band. I don't have to think about the others since I can drive to my old hometown and find them still living there.

[WCGreen]

14. Well put XMas, Well Put.....

I spent almost my high school experence pining after the good girls while the bad one's wanted me....

Oh well, it all works out in the end I suppose....

At least for someone.....

Someone must be happy somewhere....

[xmas74]

20. I hope that those guys are happy now.

The smart ones deserved to be happy after everything they went through in high school.

[WCGreen]

23. I know....

They did go through a living hell...

there is a sense to it that those who loved high school are doomed to stay in that time set...

Those who didn't move on and enjoy life to the fullest...

[xmas74]

25. I have run into a few of them.

I used to apologize for HS and they always told me that I was never the person who did anything to them. One of them recently informed me that he had a major crush on me in high school (it had to do w/ the fact that a girl watched Trek and beat him in Risk). I wish that he had acted on that crush. I would have gladly taken him up on the offer.

[Speck Tater]

15. Funny you should mention that.

I had a crush on a popular girl in high school, but I was a classic geek, and was afraid to even say hello to her, she was way unattainable.

Recently (I'm 60 now) my mom mentioned having run into that girl a few years ago. The girl admitted to my mom (more than 40 years too late) that she had had a crush on ME in high school, but was afraid to approach me because I seemed so "aloof". Truth is, I wasn't aloof, just painfully shy.

Ah, what could have been. Youth truly is wasted on the young.

[xmas74]

22. Yes it is.

If I had it to do over I would have walked right up to a guy that I knew in high school and asked him out. He was so smart and funny, when you got to know him (and knew all the best lines from Star Trek. I never could mention my love of all things Trek w/ the bad boys around.). Now he's in aerospace engineering, I believe.

[Yupster]

56. Almost same story fizi

Too shy to ask a girl I really liked for years.

She used to show up places that she knew I'd be.

Never asked her. Wish I had.

Saw her name in the news recently 30 years later so I wrote her a short note. She wrote a nice note back.

[khashka]

55. Too true

In high school I hung out with the stoners. I was a geek and a brain and they were the only ones who would hang out with me. And the only ones who were cool with my being gay. But I yearned for those skinny geeky boys in glasses.

I found out later that they were afraid of me and afraid of my friends. Only person who made a pass at me was the star football player :) And so he and I dated for a while. I hope he's doing great now.


Khash.

[xmas74]

78. It took me many years to realize what my "type" was.

Now I have realized that the "geek" was always my type. I like intelligent men who have something to say and can explain something to me.
I was singled out by the stoners and the motorheads early on. I still feel comfortable around those men. We can sit down, drink a beer, talk about music and I can admire their handiwork on various vehicles. But there is no true attraction on a sexual level to any of them. My real attraction has always been to "smart guys". I did everything that I could to get them to notice me but they were too shy to ask.
And guess what? Most of the "stoners" and "motorheads" that I hung out w/ would have accepted one of the geeks if they were w/ me. Most of them just wanted me to be happy. Of course, they weren't above revenge if someone hurt me.

[Withywindle]

16. Lawd yes.

It's very motivational, though, if you can harness that energy somewhere else. Somewhere less humiliating.

[LastKnight]

17. yep, its the best way really.

you can skip right to the heartbreak, you dont need to be happy beforehand. quite efficient.

not that im bitter, or anything... :crazy:

-LK

[faithnotgreed]

24. no you dont sound bitter

and your avatar doesnt add to that AT ALL

warmest wishes to you lk and a hug
you sound like you may need one

[Wetzelbill]

31. LK is my brother-in-arms on this one

but yeah, you'll get your day in the sun. Just wait and see. And, it'll be everything you ever dreamed of.

[DerekG]

18. Yes, and she was the only woman I ever loved

This young woman was intelligent (a dream student), gentle (she worked with children), feminine (she only wore dresses), and staggeringly beautiful (think Natalie Portman with glasses).

And on the day I was to profess my love to her, she relayed a story involving her fiance. (What can I say, I was 19...I didn't think to check for rings.) That ended my infatuation right quick.

Sad to say, it's been three years, and I haven't fancied anyone since.

[Wetzelbill]

60. that's tough man

I feel that, I'm going on over two years with a similar situation.

[Heidi]

19. Not since Donny Osmond

and now I know that the gods knew better than I.

Too early for a cocktail, but I'll accept your pity.

[faithnotgreed]

26. when i was 7 or 8 i had his album with "puppy love"

and his little poster on my wall

yes donny osmond was adorable
of course when youre 8 then most boys are arent they

[Heidi]

27. For my 12th birthday . . .

my parents let me go see The Osmonds in concert. I was oh-so-fetching in my purple (Donny's favorite color) jumper and matching lavender knee-socks. :eyes:

(I don't think I knew about boys when I was eight, though. ;) )

[faithnotgreed]

39. i think i did start too young

i had my little boyfriends starting in 1st grade you know serious stuff

but my first head over heels *real* boyfriend was in 6th grade
seriously
we only broke up because my family moved but we were tight esp thinking about 6th grade now
he was adorable
manly yet sensitive (at all of 10 yo) but he played all the sports and bought me little presents incl when he went on vacation

and sadder i think i was about 30 when i finally got over him (because i talked with him over the phone and that took care of that)
good thing

guess it might be time to get rid of his 6th grade presents....

[Heidi]

40. You were an early bloomer, that's what you were.

;)

[faithnotgreed]

41. ok... thats a nice way of putting it

thanks

[Heidi]

43. No problem.

I had boobs before I had good sense, too. ;)

[faithnotgreed]

45. well i cant say that so i guess it makes us even

in some way
though im not quite sure what i just said here
initially it made sense

ok
i just checked the clock and its 3 am so i guess that answers that

[Wetzelbill]

30. LOL

[Heidi]

35. That's right, Bill.

Laugh at my pre-pubescent angst. ( :rofl: )

[2bfree]

59. Me too!

I was sooooo in love with Donny when I was in the second grade. Mmmmm......

[benny05]

21. Yes, at least 3 or 4 times

sometimes painful...but in the long run, I've understood why.

[Quixote1818]

28. It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along

You could almost write a song about it.

[Wetzelbill]

29. yeah twice and once is right now

but, I threw a hail Mary the other day and something just might work out. We're in contact again anyway. :)

The other one was godawful and I never want to think about it again. :)

[Old_Fart]

32. Little LuLu and Garfield

When is the last time someone has gone out on a date with a piece of paper?

[Wetzelbill]

34. well if you count that magazine I just get so I can read the articles.....

[Old_Fart]

52. I didn't know that they had anything other than articles in them?

:evilgrin:

[Wetzelbill]

54. me too, at least if anybody is asking anyway

}(

[hfojvt]

65. see people joke about that

but seriously I did find alot of good reading in those magazines.

[Wapsie B]

36. Hmmmm, how much time do we have?

Those were the women I could talk to. They were non-threatening to me because there wasn't that expectation of a relationship, like gay guys and straight women. But since their love was already for another I was left to worship them from afar. And no, I never lured any of these ladies away. I didn't want that done to me should I have found anyone and I just didn't come on like that. I kept it stricly friends. Maybe I just wasn't ruthless enough.

[Ladyhawk]

37. I make it a point to only fall in love with someone I cannot have.

Well, I don't fall in love with these people. I just feel it's safer to get close to them. I don't have to worry about the whole "relationship" thing that way.

Yeah, I have issues. :D

[u4ic]

44. Way, way, way

too many times...x(

[CaliforniaPeggy]

49. Actually, yes...sorry, no details. It's over, now...nt

[tjdee]

51. No, because I think I can have them.

Life is a very long time as they say, and why wouldn't Adrien Brody be in love with me? :crazy:

But honestly--if I like/love someone, I obviously think I have a shot. Insurmountable odds can become quite surmountable indeed.

There's a difference between your question and 'Have you been in love with someone who doesn't love you', I think.

[Poiuyt]

57. I always fall for women who are too young for me

Legal, of course, but I would be too old for them.

Age is the one area in relationships where discrimination is accepted.

[bertha katzenengel]

58. Yep.

Oh, well. If it had gone anywhere, I may not have met Mrs. V.

[progmom]

61. yes.

[gmoney]

62. You mean there's an alternative?

Unrequited is my middle name...

[GOPisEvil]

63. All the freaking time.

I'll have that cocktail now. :beer:

[Mz Pip]

64. Oh, yeah.

Twice. One I still keep in touch with, though I am no longer madly in love with him. The other one, no.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[no name no slogan]

66. is Tom Cruise a looney-tune? (nt)

[usedtobesick]

67. Kinda?

Was madly in love(lust?)with the wrong person... we both knew how wrong we were, all fire works and explosions, great sex or great fights but nothing in between. So... we both walked away for sanity sake. It was the most difficult adult thing I had done to that point, it was a College thing. Friends now and we talk every other year or so but the spark is gone but time has proved that we did the right thing. We still drive each other insane with such huge differences in how life should be lived and both think the other one is crazy. But it was an exciting and intense 3 years!

:wow:

[Doctor_J]

68. Currently going though something like that

Not madly, but I do like her alot. Pretty sad, at my age. But, the heart goes where it goes. It IS sapping my energy and concentration that would best be spent on other things, however.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

69. Oh yes, and just last year in fact

:-(

[Kat45]

70. A number of times, particularly being in love with someone who

was not in love with me and would not fall in love with me. But in some cases, I could "have" them (in the Biblical sense), but I could not have them in the in-love-with/involved-with sense. That has been my situation quite frequently, and it can be maddening.

[In_The_Wind]

71. yes

that's life

[Lorien]

72. Yes

horrible thing to go through.

[BlueIris]

73. Unfortunately, yes. Sucks. Bad for the skin.

Sorry if that's the wrong answer for this thread.

[stlsaxman]

74. Yeah- and I had JUST now gotten over it-

then you went and reminded me about it again!

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :beer: :cry: :cry: :cry: :beer: :beer: :beer: :puke: :boring: :boring: :hurts:

[GalleryGod]

81. Been there. Done That. Professional Relationships with Women

Taboo. But when the intellectual synergy happens-sometimes the sexual tension builds also:pals:

[billyskank]

75. I've never been madly in love with someone I *can* have!

:(

[smbolisnch]

76. Yes.

[Kathleen04]

77. Several what I

would call "long term unrequited crushes"..talking years long here. Never been rejected before because I've never thrown it out there.

Before they've all mostly been well-known aquaintances..but the one I have now is actually a good friend. I don't get much vibes from him, but I'm guessing that I don't give off that many vibes either. Maybe he's not interested or maybe we're too alike.

[leftofthedial]

79. almost constantly since my stb-ex made it clear it was over

there are some amazing, but unavailable women in my life.

[GalleryGod]

82. Patience and Good Eye site will prevail!

Your time will come. Patience.

[SarahB]

80. No.

I've had difficultly with relationships at time that hurt on various levels, but I can't say I ever been "madly in love" with someone who didn't have any feelings for me. I make it clear how I feel about someone and if they don't reciprocate or can't be with me, I move forward. I can't imagine not being direct when it comes to this stuff. Life is too short.

[AAARRRGGGHHH]

83. Yep

(and it's one of the best things life has to offer).

[XemaSab]

84. Tristan

n/t

[VelmaD]

85. Yes. And it hurts like a mother-fucker...

but I still live in hope. Which hurts like a mother-fucker too. :(

[Ellen Forradalom]

86. Hell yeah

It's a bitch.

[sendero]

87. Who hasn't?

... If not love then at least a crush/infatuation that is virtually indistinguishable from love in many circumstances :)