looks like i'm getting divorced

[mopinko]

unless my hubby comes to his senses enough to check into a hospital, and get some treatment for his mental illness.
at least now i know it's not me. when he started thinking i was making our kids sick so that i could get attention from doctors, the therapist finally said, ok, you're right.
what a mess. i just hope he does something before he looses his job.

edited to say, i blame george bush. ok, he was a little paranoid around the edges for a long time. but i honestly believe that the situation we are in helped to push him over the edge.

[Robb]

1. I'm sorry mopinko

Do what you can to get him checked in, and take care of yourself and the kiddos. :grouphug:

[mopinko]

6. i have done everything you can do.

and a few thing you shouldn't, i guess. i have twisted arms, pissed people off, and been called crazy myself. i have begged him, coaxed him, cajoled him, and fought with him.
putting him out of the house may make him wake up, i don't know. he is camped at friend's right now, but maybe actually getting an apartment, or being served with some papers, etc, will ring his bell. i don't know.
taking care of the kiddos is job one.

[CanuckAmok]

2. so sorry.

divorce is hell. do whatever you can to avoid it.

[mopinko]

10. i've done everything i can think of so far

this would be my second, so i know. and i have no doubt this one will be hell. there is some calm in crossing that rubicon, tho.

[LisaL]

22. No, living with someone you don't want to live with is hell.

Better be divorced than fighting and arguing all the time. Much better.

[asjr]

23. It is worse than hell.

[mopinko]

24. want to is not part of the equation

i love him with all my heart. if he manages to get better, i will take him back in a heartbeat.
it's not want, it's can't. for me and my kids.
the hell part, tho, that is for real. hell. unnecessary hell.

[no name no slogan]

3. *hugs*

ah, sweetie, let's just say that I can relate a little too well to what you're going through. I hope for your sake things go smoothly and that your husband can eventually come to terms with his situation and get the help he needs.

:hug:

[mopinko]

13. thanks nnns

i am hoping for that, too. it is the only hope i can see. and even that is still a long hard road.

[mike_c]

4. sorry to hear that....

I've been through something quite similar during the last several years, and I did finally resolve it with divorce. The hardest step is ALWAYS the first one-- leaving, forcing him to leave, or however you separate. That decision is the hardest one you'll likely make. After that it gets easier-- maybe slowly-- but it gets easier. Good luck, and best wishes.

[mopinko]

11. i had to toss him

but i have no doubts anymore. he is too far out to trust around me and the kids.

[arwalden]

5. Sorry To Hear About His Troubles...

... I hope that things work out well for everyone. :hug:

[mopinko]

19. thanks

all hugs help

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. Hang in there

Focus on your kids. They need you. And if you get a divorce, they will really need you.

[mopinko]

17. that i am

they are good kids. unfortunately, i have an 18 y.o. that is bp, refuses to accept that, or take her meds, and is becoming a major obstacle. she blames everything on me, and is right at her daddy's side. oy.

[Darth_Kitten]

8. Sorry

:hug:

[Heidi]

9. Take good care of _you_ , mopinko.

I've been where you are with an SO. It's a long, hard road, even if you get a divorce. :hug:

[mopinko]

12. anybody that thinks divorce is a solution

has never gotten one, that's for sure. part of the solution, yeah, but it is tiny part of the shit pile that we will be digging through.

[madrchsod]

14. been there and have done that

so i pretty much know how you feel..but you know in my case things did work out. what ever happens you know you`ve done everything you could. you take care of yourself and the kids...

[mopinko]

15. i do take comfort

in knowing that i did everything i could. really, i drove people crazy begging them to step in.
onward. just onward.

[koopie57]

16. I've been fighting tears for so long

and for some reason this has started the floodwaters. I'm really sad for you, not because you have reached this decision, but because of all you have gone through to find yourself reaching this decision. I understand how you have taken blame, blamed yourself, lived in complete chaos. Well, this is your post and you deserve soft fuzzies and strong support, so I'll just say that you hang tough and don't doubt yourself k? By the way, I understand how you feel bush has added to the severity of this situation. I really really do.

[mopinko]

18. now you are getting me started

it is a sad, sad mess. warm fuzzies back at you for the source of your tears.

[khashka]

20. Dealing with the mentally ill can really hurt

And especially hurt the people who love them.

Just remember you have to love yourself, too. And sometimes that means getting a little distance from them.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, sweetheart. I know how tough it can be.

Khash.

[mopinko]

21. the peace is healing

my nerves are getting better already. there was so much chaos, and bullying, and craziness. there are tough times ahead, but i am in control of them. i feel safe, and that makes a big difference. i hope i can hang on to this part, anyway.

[BikeWriter]

25. Mental illness sucks.

[mopinko]

26. and kills

is the part that i can't get out of my mind. both the hubby and the kid.

[BikeWriter]

31. Yes'm, you have to be the judge of that. Good luck...

My last ex was very careful when she left me. She knows I'm very capable of using violence. If you do leave stay away from him.

[mopinko]

32. he is out of the house

staying with a friend. he knows that any ugliness at all will cause a 911 call, which he knows he could not handle. he will do everything possible to avoid that. but i am staying out of his way, nonetheless.

[BikeWriter]

34. That shows good sense. I had an ex whose new husband...

was dumb enough to come into my regular bar with her and his cousin. From what she said later she'd told them not to come around me, but they "had it to do." The cousin confronted me and stood his ground between me and the rest room exit. He didn't move when I told him to and he hasn't looked the same since.

[mopinko]

36. this is such a comforting conversation

we have 4 kids, so i can only stay just so clear.

[BikeWriter]

38. You'll be too busy taking care of kids to do much else, probably....

If he's the aggressive sort, either maintain a court order against him or be careful who you're out in the company of.

[mopinko]

39. believe you me, company is the last thing on my mind.

[BikeWriter]

41. I would imagine so, Dear. Here's wishing you peace.

[Susang]

27. I'm sorry to hear that it's turned out this way, Mo

Just make sure you take care of yourself during all of this, okay?

[mopinko]

30. trying, trying.

at least i am feeling much better physically than i have in a long time. makes it a lot easier. i'm cleaning, which i'm sure will be real proof to a lot of people that i have lost it. but it dissipates the energy, and makes the kids feel better.

[Tallison]

28. Hey...

I'm a psychiatric RN whose worked pretty extensively w/in- and outpatients. What are his psychiatrists guesses regarding what's going on? What meds has he tried? Feel free to PM me any time.

Best wishes.

[Name removed]

29. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[greatauntoftriplets]

33. Such sad new.....

I am very sorry to hear this. This is a trying time for you and your kids.

A woman I know who divorced her husband a few years ago felt similarly to how you do...she wished that she was a psychiatrist so she could have the now ex committed. Fortunately, her daughter was grown and married with kids...and totally supportive.

Be well. Do nice things for yourself and the kids.

[mopinko]

35. well, he is seeing a therapist, so i am still hoping

then again, our daughter saw one for a year and a half before he decided she needed more help. and after 3 years, she still blames everything on me, and won't take her meds.
what a mess tho. thanks for the sympathy gat, being a part of du is helping me out a lot.

[Maestro]

37. Sorry to hear that

Could you just separate or is there no hope left?

[mopinko]

40. i have hope

if he got better, i would take him back in a heartbeat. but he is just not rational.