Does internet dating really work?

[ihaveaquestion]

I've been trying it for a couple of months now and have only actually met one real live guy - and he was nothing to write home about. Frankly, I'm discouraged and ready to give up.

I can't help thinking there must be a trick to it. Should I have to lie about my age (I'm a very young 50), post a picture of a super-model (I'm not bad looking, but I'm no Cameron Diaz) or maybe I should get a professional writer to write my bio and have glamour shots do my picture.

Has anyone have any positive experiences with this?

[Mutley]

1. My mother met her current husband through internet dating.

It took her awhile, too. But she just kept at it until she met the right person.

[ihaveaquestion]

3. Do you know what service she used?

And what she thought of it?

[Mutley]

14. I don't actually.

But I will ask her!

[flakey_foont]

2. This site is good for meeting like minded people

www.democraticsingles.com

[flakey_foont]

4. oops

it is www.democraticsingles.net

[Misunderestimator]

5. This is a great site... it's where met my partner:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/

:bounce:

[ihaveaquestion]

12. Where's the dating forum?

Is it the lounge? :party:

[Misunderestimator]

13. I suppose so...

Though our romance sparked after I posted a pic in the gallery. She's so superficial. :D

[flakey_foont]

15. How do you post a pic

in the gallery?

I'm not too bright

[Misunderestimator]

17. Well, at the time I had one there... the admins maintained the gallery...

now you have to get an account on Demopedia and edit the page yourself to add a pic. I removed mine, but I've posted pics for others there, if you have a pic you want to post...

Here's the gallery: http://demopedia.democraticunderground.com/index.php/Gallery

And here are instructions for adding a pic: http://demopedia.democraticunderground.com/index.php/How_to_Add_Your_Photo_to_the_DU_Gallery

[ihaveaquestion]

19. Not a bad idea. I'll give it a shot.

Thanks!!!!

[flakey_foont]

22. whoa

already have a pic there....damn gremlins!

[Misunderestimator]

24. Oohhh freaky! :)

[flakey_foont]

27. Nah

just poor memory!

say, you wouldn't happen to have any spare gingko biloba, woodja now?

[Misunderestimator]

28. Yeah, if I can just remember where I put it...

[flakey_foont]

30. Put what?

[Misunderestimator]

31. Hi, Welcome to DU!

:hi:

[DS1]

38. Where am I?

I'm confused

[Misunderestimator]

39. You were going to get me something....

Weren't you? :shrug:

[DS1]

40. I don't know, I've got a handful of cash and bag of coke

I think I'm supposed to meet someone

[Misunderestimator]

41. Um yeah... leave that stuff in the garbage can

Have you seen my glasses?

[ihaveaquestion]

26. I gotta admit to a certain superficiality, too.

I find I'm a bit picky in the looks department. I mean, have you seen some guys over 45? Honestly, how they can post that they want a slender, fit, energetic woman is beyond me!

[Maddy McCall]

46. LOL!

You two! :D

[ugarte]

6. All companies are not equal

If you're not getting good results, try another site. Here's one dedicated to liberals.

http://www.actforlove.org/

Good luck!

[ihaveaquestion]

21. That's a new one to me. Thanks!

[KG]

7. no trick, just hang in there.

could take awhile, esp. if you have stardards.

meanwhile, have fun with it. i'm not 'desperately seeking', so i just try to have a little fun with the scene. i have several long term friends that started out as a date. the romance part didnt work out, but we found we could be good friends.

edit to add: i live in St Pete :hi:

[NewJeffCT]

8. From a guy's perspective

I first tried meeting women from online maybe 9-10 years ago, and would first talk to them online via email & IM, then exchange pictures, then talk on the phone, etc, etc. I'd get all worked up & excited to meet a woman that could be "The One" and then would be disappointed in person - several of the women I first met was before it was easy to exchange pics online...so, I'd meet a lot of women that were not honest about their looks. Why, I have no idea. And, no looks are not the most important thing - I've dated women of all shapes, sizes and colors. Honesty is very important, however.

Then, I found what worked for me was to meet people from online pretty quickly, so I would not get too worked up over them & then disappointed when it didn't work out. That was much, much more succesful, as I went in with a much better attitude. I just went about being myself & didn't worry too much & didn't get worked up too much. I was much more relaxed, and if it didn't work out, I probably already had another date lined up the next day or the day after that.

[ihaveaquestion]

23. Very good advice. Thanks!

[NewJeffCT]

25. thanks

But, I realize things are different from a woman's point of view - most women are probably more hesitant to meet a guy quickly, even if it's in a public place for a cup of coffee or tea/

[Tallison]

9. Check out my match profile

http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&UID=ollOSzO1YWu9ERCcyuioMQ%3d%3d&Handle=74woodchuck

I posted it as a joke, but it's amazing the degree of "interested" feedback I've actually gotten from it. :)

[ihaveaquestion]

10. LOL

That's good!

[XemaSab]

43. too funny!

this is pure comedy!

[Dukkha]

11. just star FAR away from this one

http://www.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?

Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum & villainy.

Seriously I have no experience. I'm too old fashion to try a service. Which means I'll probably end up being alone for good.

I say try both online and real world dating. There must be some progressive groups in you area to join.

[RC]

16. There's this

http://www.democraticpeoplemeet.com/

[ihaveaquestion]

29. Hadn't heard of this one either.

[mcscajun]

18. The only "successes" I know of didn't meet on dating sites.

Yet even through chat rooms and such, there have been some Spectacular disasters.

Everything's a crapshoot, you pay your money, roll the dice, and take your chances.

[ihaveaquestion]

20. Guess this is why there are so many songs ...

with a "lost at love" theme.

[serryjw]

42. Try Craigslist.org

I have had fun on it and it's FREE!

[leftofthedial]

32. be honest

I'm your age and intrigued by the description you just gave.

If you make up stuff, you'll eventually lose anyone who values the truth.

If you use glamour shots, you'll attract those who value glamour.

If you tell the truth and show the real you, you'll attract those who are likeliest to value you.

[Orsino]

33. Did for us.

Met ten years ago on match.com (for free), and in real life two weeks later. Just celebrated ninth wedding anniversary.

Best nothing I ever spent.

[bertha katzenengel]

34. I met Mrs. V. on line but it wasn't through a dating thing.

She read something I posted on a message board, was impressed at the use of proper grammar and complete sentences, and sent me an email.

Best wishes & luck to you. :hi:

[City Lights]

35. My niece just married a guy she met through some online service.

My sister's FIL also met his current wife this way.

[SarahB]

36. I guess so.

I started a relationship with someone here a couple of months ago. There's a lot of flirting and behind the scenes stuff on this site, but when it comes down to it, he and I were both single at the time and interested in finding out more about one another. With us, we had been friends here for about a year and in the past year we both went through a divorce after long marriages and were just both nice to each other because of that (occasionally dropping a line, etc.). So when he expressed an interest in "getting to know me more" a couple months ago, a part of me hesitated for various reasons, but I liked him and already knew him enough to have a comfort level. We hit it off immediately and after 3 weeks of phone conversations, we met. There is an almost 200 mile distance, but we still get to spend a couple days together every week or two and to say we have hit it off is an understatement. He's just wonderful. I get to see him tomorrow as a matter of fact (and hopefully next weekend too). :loveya:

My ex-husband is also dating online, but he uses various sites specifically for dating and is apparently having a lot of fun and meeting many people. A lot of women I work have used dating site like Match.com, etc. with great results. For me, I just didn't feel totally comfortable with that and well, now, I have no desire to look anymore anyway.

My only soapbox advice is to be honest and if you're interested someone, meet them as soon as possible. That way it just clears up things for everyone as far as compatibility right off that bat.

[Tripper11]

37. Married 7 years next month!!!

Met in Yahoo chat when it was still fun and innocent....me Vancouver BC, Mrs. Tripper in Tallahassee....6 years in Seattle now.

Still going strong, we are as happy as ever, read each others minds and are our best friends!

[DemGirl7]

44. My older sister met her husband online

she went to some online dating site , and put up a profile, and she found her husband.

[WCGreen]

45. That's your problem, You met him face to face....

Use it to gain courage, to practice your style and then hit the real wrld....

[Deja Q]

47. I gave up and went to a bar; more intent on playing pool and drinking...

Found a guy that night; a really decent one too.

It seems people ARE right; when you're not going to consciously look is when you find someone.

[Pale Blue Dot]

48. OK, here's my experience.

I tried one "regular" internet dating site (eHarmony - they rejected me :-)), and dabbled in a couple "liberal" dating sites. Mostly they just depressed me. There is no way anyone can accurately sum up their personality in 50 words or less - at least not anyone I would want to date. Also, I found that women (in my case) were very exacting in what they were looking for physically: namely, someone about 4-6 inches taller than me (and I wouldn't consider myself short, just average.)

My advice? If you want to meet someone online, you're probably in the right spot right now. Here, in the lounge, you can get to know someone's personality over time. If there's someone who interests you, send them a friendly PM. Flirt a little. If they respond, arrange to meet as soon as possible.

This is what I did and it's worked out very, very well for me. Good luck!

[ihaveaquestion]

49. Eharmony rejected me, too!

Told me I was too independent or something and they didn't think they could match me. They also said that about 20% of folks were "unmatchable" and I shouldn't feel bad about it. This must be how they can claim the inflated success rate that they do.

Thanks for sharing!