Does physical attraction play a social role among straight people...?

[liberalpragmatist]

... of the same sexFirst off, I'm a straight male, but I'm interested in reading what DU'ers think about a theory I have.

There have been recent studies, for instance, indicating that parents are more attentive to better-looking children. There has been a recent study showing how the physical appearance of a candidate effects their chances of winning. This led me to what may either be an incredibly obvious and already well-accepted conclusion, or a total leap-of-faith.

The question is this: regardless of one's sexual orientation, are human beings drawn to people who are more attractive in general, nonsexual social situations? As a straight male, when I think back to times when I'm in a group of new people, I think I probably have been more drawn, subconsciously, to people who are more attractive. For girls and women that goes without saying, but even among groups of men, I wonder if I - and other men and other people in general - are drawn to talk to, socialize with, people who are better-looking )at least initially). Again, to emphasize, nothing sexual - just regarding meeting people, talking, general social situations.

Likewise, do straight women find themselves drawn to better-looking women in social situations.

What do you guys think?

UPDATE: The title, I admit, is bad. This isn't just with straight people - it's with all people. The title is trying to convey the idea of physical attraction playing a role in social relationships between people who are not sexually attracted to each other. So the idea of two straight males is an example of this.

[Shell Beau]

1. There may be something to that. All of my friends

are very pretty. In high schools, all of the "pretty" people tend to hang out together. I don't know, but there may be some truth to this.

I think "all" people though as opposed to just straight people.

[liberalpragmatist]

5. Right. It's a bad title for the thread

See my update.

[MissMillie]

2. I wouldn't be surprised if it played a role with some people

but then again, I frown on generalizations so I hate to just lump all straight people into a group and speak for them.

But I wonder why there was an emphasis on straight people in your question. Do you think that heterosexuals behave differently in matters of platonic relations than homosexuals do?

[liberalpragmatist]

6. No - see my update

It's a badly-worded title. Basically I meant to dissociate same-sex attraction from physical sexual same-sex attraction so that it could be used as an example of what I was talking about. But obviously the same concept must be evident in, say, a gay man and a straight woman, or a gay man and his relationship with a lesbian woman.

You're right, it's probably an association that exists with everybody.

[MissMillie]

8. that's fine

please know I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything, just that I was curious about the distinction.

we're cool :thumbsup:

[AlienGirl]

3. Short answer: Yes.

Physical beauty conveys a sort of halo effect, causing people to assume subconsciously that a more attractive person is also smarter, friendlier, and generally "better" than others in non-physical ways. This is true in all areas; even newborn babies prefer to look at attractive versus unattractive faces. It seems to be something hard-wired.

Tucker

[SarahB]

7. On the reverse.

I noticed when I lost weight a few years ago and made a conscious effort to look my best physically, I lost some friends. It was like I was ok when I was like them, but then if I was perceived as "better" (though that's not how I thought of myself- I just wanted to feel healthier and feel my own personal best), they didn't want me to be around them. :(

Me at over 200+ pounds is the same person as me the size 8, but I notice a huge difference in how the rest of the world treats me and who wants and doesn't want to be around me. Sometimes I notice I get treated much better by men I don't know (not at all fair and I question their motivations).

[xchrom]

4. of course.

i.e. humans naturally attribute values to people who are ''good looking'' -- i.e. ''good looking'' people are viewed as being ''honest''.

within that falls the individuals roll of what they consider to be good looking.
and then there is the learning curve: don't judge a book by it's cover.

now -- on another note i LOVE to watch pretty people -- sit around with a cup of peets and cruise. nothin better.

[jobycom]

9. At least one study suggests that it starts from birth

The mother of one of my daughter's friends studies this at UTexas. She takes newborns and shows them pictures of people's faces, devoid of emotional expressions, and measures how long the infants look at each face. According to her, the babies are consistent in which faces they look at the longest, and these are the faces that adults would define as attractive.

I've still got questions. Babies are very perceptive and pick up adult responses well. Maybe the babies are picking up the adult reactions to the pictures. Or maybe those who feel that they are attractive have a certain confidence that is visible even in a still photo. Anyone who has dealt with children can attest that they are as attracted to confidence as adults. Maybe more so.

But attraction to attractive people begins from birth, and this study may even questions the "beauty in the eye of the beholder" idea. Although, if the babies are really picking up the confidence in these faces, it would still allow for the idea of beauty being cultural perception. (That's just me speculating, I'm sure this researcher has thought of all of that, I've just never seen her talk about it.)

[cleofus1]

10. joe jackson

Pretty boys - on my TV screen
Teeth so white and hair so clean
Pretty boys - sing and play guitars
Pretty boys get to be big stars
How do you rate my sex appeal from one to ten
Is my image just a bit confusing
Maybe I should get a facelift, start again
Maybe I should trade my pointed shoes in
'Cause talent don't count
For Pretty Boys
Those promo people got a lot to answer for
You can take your face and see just where it fits
Be a pretty pawn in someone else's war
Your baby blue eyes - somebody else's wits
Equals success
For Pretty Boys
I wanna see a human being on my TV set
Want some action for the fat and thin man
They're getting closer but they ain't got robots yet
Just a hero with a smile like a tin man
No brains and no heart
Just Pretty Boys

[caty]

11. There was another

study about looks in the workplace. Better looking people got more promotions and made more money. Also, if someone who wasn't that good looking was married to someone who was better looking, that person was thought more highly of.
As far as personal relations go--looks might be what gets people together, but it's not what keeps people together. Looks don't go very far in the long run if that person has no substance, is hard to get along with, or is not a good person.

[liberalpragmatist]

13. Right - I mean more initially

I wouldn't be surprised if physical attraction plays some role in the longevity of friendships and social relationships, but there's a lot else at play in those.

My question chiefly concerns initial social encounters, meetings, etc. What draws people initially. Of course, personality is important too. Someone who is very good-looking but really quiet and disengaged will not get as much attention as someone who is only average-looking but very ebullient and engaging.

[caty]

17. As for me

I tend to hang back when I first meet someone, and try to get a reading on their personality before I jump into a conversation or a friendship. I have found that my first instincts are usually pretty dependable. I have a wide variety of friends and I don't think I've ever really considered their looks. I tend to treat people the way they treat me. If they want to be my friend, then I want them for a friend. I have to be able to get along with them easily. If it's a struggle to be friends with them, I figure it wasn't meant to be. And, since all my friends have totally different appearances, I don't think their looks had anything to do with our lasting friendship. But, we don't usually realize what is going on in our subconscious.

[XemaSab]

12. Oh, for sure

when I'm in a room full of people, I tend to gravitate towards the better-looking women, as long as they're not total jerks. Doesn't mean that I only exclusively hang with good looking people, but there's a shallow factor there.

[KurtNYC]

14. There are lots of studies

which show that people assuming all kind of things about better looking people. It has a halo effect that extends to things which have nothing to do with looks.

I think the basis of physical attraction (even attraction that is non-sexual on a conscioous level) is the perception of health. In other words, we are attracted to and pay attention to people who appear to be healthy. I have to think there is an instinctual/survival basis to this. Other animals do it.

[Wapsie B]

15. Yes it does.

In social and work settings. There was mention above on attractive people being promoted faster. But I've also seen studies where really attractive women have to guard against the mentality that they are so good looking that they must be bimbos and they slept their way to the top.

Socially I think many of us dream of a situation where a person looks past the exterior and gets to know the real person inside.

[Greyhound]

16. Absolutely! This has been shown in innumerable studies and 'News @ Five'..

shows. Good looking people get preferential treatment throughout their lives. It's just a fact. They are paid more, get more chances at promotion, are given more slack when it comes to messing up, get better prices in negotiations, and generally benefit from the 'golden halo effect' :shrug:

[RedCloud]

18. Thread killing response here?

Culture dictates what is "sexy". If nature has any say in it, then let's give nature a try.

No shaving and I mean anywhere! No hair cutting. No plastic surgery. No exercising or dieting for physical results. No deodorants. Very infrequent baths but without soap. No shampoos or conditioners. No nail cutting. No painting body parts.

In other words, let's be exactly as nature intended us to be: smelly, hairy primates. Then and only then can we really define what is naturally sexy.

[AngryAmish]

36. It is hard to divine what "nature" wanted us to be

See nature gave us these big brains, with capacity for abstract thought and the ability to see patterns in the world around us and then guess the future based on past patterns.

Nature made us this way with the ability to be civilized and soapy.

We can define what is naturally attractive. Cross-cultural studies prove this. A certain symmetry in features, especially facial features. For men a certain breast-waist-hip ratio, clear skin and eyes in their female mates. All of these are outward signs of youthfulness, fertility and health. Thus, men naturally like their women able to bear their children. It is innate but we are not animals. We can reason and see good qualities through intellectual stimulation.

Females also have innate tastes in men also. I just can't remember them right now.

[pitohui]

19. birds of a feather flock together EOM

.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

20. Since all people have the potential to be bisexual, the answer is yes,

attractiveness plays a role in society even though straight people like to think it isn't that important or that the differences as to popularity have to do with other things, like "athletic"-ness, extroversion, etc.

[Bunny]

21. Can you elaborate on this part?:

"...For girls and women that goes without saying,..." I don't understand this statement.

[liberalpragmatist]

24. Well...

... as a straight guy it's probably safe to assume that we're not just subconsciously attracted to attractive women - it's more overt and more to be expected.

That's in contrast with how a straight male might be more attracted to another male in a social situation. It's not something they would even recognize but it probably is a subconscious factor in meeting people in social situations.

[Bunny]

26. Ok, got it. I misunderstood!

[youspeakmylanguage]

22. I think it has more to do with "cute"...

Humans seem to have a natural attraction to "cute". It seems natural, since otherwise we'd be throwing screaming babies and kids out of car windows.

I remember in grade school we would volunteer to tutor the "learning disabled" class. There was a little kid that looked just like that actor that played Corky on TV - I think he had the same problem. The special-ed teacher finally had to shut down the tutoring program because the normal grade school kids only wanted to tutor Corky Jr. We actively ignored the rest of the kids.

[patcox2]

23. "Attractiveness" but not sexual attraction.

When we say someone is "attractive" it does not always suggest that they are "phsyically attractive," which has strong sexual connotations.

I don't think sexual attraction plays much of a role in most hetero same sex social relationships. Most heteros would sense that if it were true, I have sensed it occasionally, its pretty obvious when thats whats going on, and from my experience its rare.

There are attractive ideas, attractive hairstyles, and attractive people. Doesn't mean I want to fuck them all.

Good-looking people tend to form their cliques, yes. but I would not say its because they all want to bone each other.

People enjoy collecting and creating what they perceive to be beautiful things. That urge has little to do with sexual attraction.

[liberalpragmatist]

25. That's what I'm talking about

Although by "physically attractive," I mean just that. Even straight guys know when another guy is good-looking (just as most women can, and DO point out when they think another woman is good-looking) - it doesn't mean they want to bang them.

But I think we're agreeing on the same point. I'm not talking about sexual attraction. I'm talking about non-sexual, subconscious, platonic attractions between straight males or straight women, or, for that matter, between a gay male and a lesbian woman.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

27. But wait - if men are like dogs, then

the same principles apply, that it's more fun to sniff an attractive person than an ugly one.

[Nikia]

28. I actually am less drawn to glamorous women

Women that look like models or otherwise have a high maintenance look. I guess that it is because I believe that they are negatively judging me since they obviously place a high priority on looking perfect and I don't look perfect or am very knowledgable about fashion, make up, and hair styling. I suppose that I am also judging them in assuming that they are shallow and don't have many intellectual interests.
I suppose that I am also less drawn to women who are below average in terms of attractiveness, though.
Once I get to know people, of course, I see them as who they are. People I like tend to look better they looked when I intiailly met them, while people who I don't like, look worse than when I initially met them.

[TXlib]

39. I tend to like geeky-lookin' chicks.

[Lilyhoney]

29. I think it all comes down to geometry.

Our brain recognizes a particular geometric structure as attractive. There are lots of web sites that explain geometry and beauty.:)


On edit...I won't pet a cat or dog if it is not attractive to me. :shrug:

[BlueIris]

30. I hate the emphasis placed on physical attractiveness by society.

It's vapid, shallow, disgusting and a tangible metaphor for everything that is wrong with the world. He or she doesn't look pretty? Fuck 'em! In fact, leave 'em to starve in the streets, work for less money, be abused, neglected or unappreciated in their relationships and otherwise cared less about. How terrible is that? How gigantic are the assholes who propagate this idea as acceptable?

[TXlib]

34. The assholes are typically between 5'3" and 6'5"

I, myself, am a 5'5" asshole.

[BlueIris]

38. Nice. I'm sure your family loves you very much.

[TXlib]

31. I think that good-looking people are perceived differently

It has nothing to do with any level of ATTRACTION between straight people of the same sex; good-looking people simply are perceived as being more competant, smarter, etc.

Damn good thing I'm a Geek God.

[SarahB]

32. You aren't the Geek God.

You are merely Lord Geek. The Geek God is someone else. :P

How are things going these days (besides flattening tires that is)?

[TXlib]

33. I was wondering how long before somebody noticed that

and whether they'd think it was a typo...

I *am* a Geek God. Apparently, of Discordianism.

Hail Eris!

I am fine these days.

How 'bout you?

[SarahB]

35. I have to be careful what I say is going on in my life.

Otherwise, I'll may gag people around here again.

[Montauk6]

37. Well, let's see

There's physical attraction, no joke, true blue, but I guess you kind of have to start like a virgin and open your heart before you get into the groove and express yourself over and over. Otherwise, you run the risk of burning up as a material girl.