42 is too young to go to sleep and never wake up.

[Maddy McCall]

Just heard tonight that a friend of mine died. She went to bed Saturday night and did not wake up Sunday morning.

The autopsy was done today. Haven't heard the results yet. She and her husband were in horrible financial trouble...he had inherited tons of money and hundreds of acres of land from a relative, and they blew through it in no time, even amassing massive debt. Had heard that they couldn't even pay the taxes on the land anymore and were about to lose their gorgeous new home.

Whatever the cause of her death, I hope she rests in peace. She was too young to die. :(

[enigmatic]

1. Sorry to hear about this

My sympathies.

[Maddy McCall]

7. Thanks, enigma.

It's a pisser. REally sad. :(

[smbolisnch]

2. I am sorry to hear that.

And yes, 42 is much too young. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

I hope that she's at rest.

She couldn't find it on earth...she had been struggling in more ways than I care to recite here.

Thanks for your sympathy. :hug:

[progmom]

68. Oh no!

:hug: I am really sorry for your loss, Maddy.

[jobycom]

3. Way too young. Condolences, Maddy.

[Maddy McCall]

9. Thanks, jobycom.

:(

[WCGreen]

4. Fast money can do that to a soul...

I am sorry for your loss.....

[Maddy McCall]

10. I'm just thinking of her kids.

She had two daughters. Barely adults...I think one just graduated high school. Can't imagine what they are feeling right now. :(

[WCGreen]

18. I know this sounds inane

But it is always the ones left behind that suffer the most....

I hope she didn't take her own life...

That effects the ones left behind too much....

I pray for her peace...

[Maddy McCall]

22. Yes, I know.

My very favorite uncle committed suicide when I was just four. My ex-husband's father committed suicide when he was 16.

I made it through my uncle's suicide with just occasional sorrow. My ex-husband will never recuperate, though. The scars that he carries contributed to the problems that led to our divorce.

Too much of a burden to bear for an adolescent. :cry:

[WCGreen]

28. They take on the blame when really it is no ones fault

[Maddy McCall]

32. And there's an anger there...

that's almost impossible to express, because anger after a suicide is too often mixed with guilt that one might have contributed to the cause of the suicide.

Does that make sense?

All I can think of right now is WHY can't the world be at peace? Why do humans have to kill each others and themselves?

So depressing.

[WCGreen]

36. Sometimes it just gets to hard.....

After my illness last year it took all that I had to pull myself back from the brink of depression....

My life changed like that...

I had a reason to live... To help me fight... Purely selfish in that I wanted yet to make a mark on the world larger than i already had....

I understand the temptation to drift out of the way......

To leave it all behind......

It's a very fine line that i almost crossed....

[Maddy McCall]

37. Yes, I understand.

I really do understand. I have a sibling who's struggling right now. Won't go into it here, but it almost seems inevitable, and there's not a damned thing I can do.

I've offered to take him out of town, just to get him away from his daily routine.

I've offered to find him better help.

But he's turning everything and everyone away.

I do understand.

[WCGreen]

40. Pray for your sibling.....

I know it counds corny and all but I do believe all the people who prayed for me helped me to pull through....

I'm still fucked up physically, but I am so much better emotionally knowing that people really cared and did what they could....

[Maddy McCall]

43. I do.

And, even though he's so distant, everytime I see him I tell him "I love you very much."

He knows how I feel. He knows what he means to me. But I can't be his savior, as much as I would like too, because he won't let me. :(

[WCGreen]

49. It is all you can do.....

[auntAgonist]

5. that's a rough one Maddy

:(
my condolences.

aA

[Maddy McCall]

13. Thanks so much, auntA.

:(

[Wapsie B]

6. My deepest sympathies Maddy.

That's WAY too young to go.

[Maddy McCall]

14. I know this may sound morbid.

I'm just hoping it wasn't suicide. I know the legacy it leaves with the children, and they just don't need to have to deal with that. :(

[Wapsie B]

23. When you mentioned massive debts

that was the first thing that came into my mind. Those kids will need help.

[Maddy McCall]

29. Yeah, that's why I posted it.

I just have a sinking feeling that it's going to be bad news. God I hope not, though. :(

[Wapsie B]

34. I hope not as well.

But I can see why you have that feeling. I feel so bad for those kids. Damn.

[merh]

8. I'm so sorry for your loss Maddy.

:hug:

Last Monday, when I came home from work I was told my neighbor was found dead, having died on Saturday. He was only 45.

42 or 45, much too young to die. :-(

I wrote an essay about his death, it helped deal with it. I've thought of posting it in the lounge, just haven't because I've been too raw, too many deaths.

:hug: I hope she rests in peace too.

[Maddy McCall]

15. Awww...merh.

Death fucking sucks, doesn't it? :hug:

I just saw her a week ago. I had to run in Dollar General for some traveling supplies. She was standing out front, talking on the cell phone. I waved at her, not wanting to interrupt her, and when I came back out, she was gone.

I never got to have that "one last conversation" with her. She was so sweet to my son when he was born. She loved to hold and cuddle him.

Damn these memories...they're making me cry. :cry:

[merh]

17. I know, my friend had come over with the cordless drill in his

hand that Saturday that Hurricane Dennis was looming so close. He wanted to help me board up the house. :cry:

May I send you the essay?

[Maddy McCall]

20. Of course! I would love to read it.

:hug:

[merh]

26. Thanks. It really helped to write it.

He wasn't a perfect fellow, but he had a good heart despite his imperfections. Check your pmail whenever you get the chance.

I am so sorry that you have suffered this loss. I know the thoughts that race through your mind, the memories that flood back. :-(

You are in my prayers, as is her family. :cry:
:hug:

:loveya:

[Maddy McCall]

38. merh, I just read it.

You have to post that. It's beautiful. And the message it packs should be read by many people.

[merh]

46. I'm not sure where to post it or if I can post it.

Maybe one day.

Sending you hugs and saying prayers for you and her family. :hug:

:loveya:

[Maddy McCall]

51. Same back to you.

:hug: :loveya:

[merh]

73. Sending you more (((((((((hugs)))))))))))

and love. Hoping that it helps you deal with today's events. :hug:
:pals: :hug:

Saying prayers. Find strength from your DU family. :grouphug:

Love ya :loveya:

[rockymountaindem]

11. My condolences.

[Maddy McCall]

16. Thanks, rmd.

Like I said, I am most concerned about her kids. Hope that they are ok. Wish I could call, but it's early morning here.

I'm funneling all of the good thoughts from DU to her family. They are the ones who are really suffering, I am sure. :(

[Lady Effingbroke]

12. I am so sorry, Maddy.

42 is far to young!

My condolences to her family and friends -- and you. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

19. Yes, her kids.

Too young to have to cope with this. And her husband is the nicest guy you would ever want to meet.

I remember before I had my son, when their kids were little ones, going over to their home on Christmas eve and helping them assemble a trampoline. After we got it put together, we drank beer and jumped all night on the trampoline. It was the most fun Christmas eve I can remember, before I had my son.

That's the kind of people they are...down to earth, fun-loving, non-judgmental. Just good people. The money fucked all that up. :(

[Wetzelbill]

21. my heartfelt condolences

That is too young. You, your friend and her family will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Maddy McCall]

24. Much appreciated, wetzelbill.

:hug:

[Wetzelbill]

27. no problem

you just take care of yourself and everything. :hug:

[Dave Reynolds]

25. I'm very sorry, Maddy.

That is way too young.

[Maddy McCall]

30. Thanks, Dave.

It is too young. Makes me stop and grasp my own mortality, you know?

[In_The_Wind]

31. That's so very sad Maddy. I'm sorry.

((((((((( :hug: )))))))))

[Maddy McCall]

33. Thank you, Joan.

When I see her family tomorrow night, I'm going to carry all of these hugs and good thoughts with me.

:hug:

[In_The_Wind]

42. it's just not fair, it's just not right for someone that young

to be lost to the ones who love her




may your night be filled with gentleness as you reminisce with her family about the happy times you shared with her




walk in light Maddy McCall

[Maddy McCall]

44. What sweet words, Joan.

I'm going to try to get some sleep so that I can be with them tomorrow morning, for awhile.

[In_The_Wind]

47. G'night Maddy

try to sleep well

[fortyfeetunder]

35. My condolences on an unexpected passing

Maddy
Sorry to read about your friend.

I see you as a source of comfort to the children, you have all those good memories that you've shared with us. I hope you can take the time to write these stories and give to the children.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

39. Thank you so much for the suggestion.

I will certainly do that. I had not even thought about it, but I will do it tomorrow before I go to the funeral home.

:hug:

[Susang]

41. Oh honey, that's terrible

I'm so sorry. :pals:

[Maddy McCall]

45. Thanks, susan.

I appreciate it, really. :hug:

[xmas74]

48. I'm so sorry to hear about that.

It could have been anything. Don't dwell on what might have caused it until you find out for sure.

[Maddy McCall]

52. Yes. You're right.

[xmas74]

54. My cousin died a few years ago from an aneurysm

(spelling?). She had a headache, laid down and went to sleep. She never woke up. She was 41.

I just noticed that there were alot of different responses in here about possible causes of death. Just don't worry too much until they give out the official findings since it could be anything. Chances are, it was just her time to go (for any number of reasons). Remember the positive about her. It's the best thing you can do.

[Maddy McCall]

55. Yes, I considered that it could have been something like that.

Won't know anything until tomorrow.

[xmas74]

57. And my cousin just complained of headaches for about a month

or so before she died. It was a nasty hayfever season that year and the prescription on her glasses was too weak. Who would have thought that her headaches could have been something that devastating?

It could be anything. Just focus on what you can do now to help her children out. They'll need all the support that you can give them. And focus on your own grief. You need time to get used to not having her around anymore.
It's hard to get used to. I know that. But you need to get it all out and then let go. She's probably happier now. At least she is at peace.

[Name removed]

50. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Maddy McCall]

53. Thanks, Syrinx.

I appreciate it more than you can know. :hug:

[Syrinx]

56. I've lost friends too. I know how it hurts.

Don't forget that I love you!

[Maddy McCall]

58. Love you too.

It's good to have DU friends late at night when I can't call my friends here.

You guys have all made me feel so much better.

[Syrinx]

61. I can call and talk to you if it would help

I still have your number.

[texanwitch]

59. So sorry to hear about the death of your friend.

The children will miss her so much, 42 is just to young to die.

Money problems are so terrible, I hope this wasn't the cause of her death.

Here is a big :hug: for you and her family.:cry:

[FuzzySlippers]

60. I'm very sorry for your loss, Maddy.

This is a terrible tragedy.

[driver8]

62. OMG -- I'm 42! So sorry to hear about your friend, Maddy...

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way...

[GOPisEvil]

63. That is terrible.

I hope she can finally rest and that her family can get some peace.

[Skittles]

64. I am so sorry hon

so sorry

[JimmyJazz]

65. Aw, honey - I am so sorry.

I am just so sorry. You are right, it is too young.

[Maestro]

66. My condolesences Maddy

It is indeed too young to die at 42. My thoughts are with you and her family.

[Misunderestimator]

67. Sorry, Maddy...

A dear friend of mine died a couple of months ago of an unexpected heart attack... he was only 41.

Definitely too young... it inspired me to quit smoking though. :(

:hug:

[latebloomer]

69. Oh, life is so messed up sometimes

A woman I worked with died fairly suddenly last month--she was also 42-- left a 4-year-old daughter and a husband who's going blind.

Peace and healing to the family and to you.

[BlueIris]

70. My condolences.

That sounds horrible. If you need to post a lot, we're here for you.

[Shell Beau]

71. Aw, that is too bad. I am sorry!

[Redstone]

72. Any question now about how deadly stress can be?

Sorry to hear about your friend. But take this as a lesson not to worry. When you have a problem, you can fix it, or perhaps not be able to, but worrying wil not change the outcome.

My condolences to her husband as well, and their kids if they had any.

Redstone

[Rising Phoenix]

74. I'm sorry to hear about your friend

you and her family will be in my thoughts

[pitohui]

75. so sorry

happened with a friend of mine in his mid 50s

heart disease, out of nowhere, with no symptoms

it seemed so unfair, he had finally made a bit of $$$ and had just retired to start building his home

[Kathy in Cambridge]

76. I'm so sorry, Maddy.

:hug: