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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:29 PM
Original message
pregnant?
Planning on completing the pregnancy and then finding the nearest dumpster?

Ok, I know no one here is, but goddamn. If anyone knows of someone in a crisis pregnancy who won't or can't abort and doesn't want the child, PM me. Damn.
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
1. I wish there was WTF page, much like the Greatest Page on DU...
I'd nominate this to the WTF page!
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:32 PM
Original message
Well instead of posting a post like this, why not ask?
Those of us that know Uly, know that he and his wife have now has several adoptions fall through and they really want a child.

So..sometimes smart ass comments like this are really quite out of place
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
8. I think "finding the nearest dumpster" is out of place....
so here we are.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. check it out.
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #10
19. Checked out, and...
just to let you know...

I can only see one post at a time, and unfortunately I saw this one first. I also didn't know of your current situation (best of luck for change). So there are two things unknown to a standard DUer, and without reference one can only comment on the post at hand....

...and so I did.

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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. One can ask questions too instead of assuming
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:49 PM
Response to Reply #22
27. see we are at another impasse.....
Shoulda, coulda, woulda.... I shoulda asked questions, the OP should have had a reference and some background.

Don't know what to tell ya.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. yes, I should have referenced the GD post. n/t
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:53 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. Sorry about the difficulties for you adopting.....
I don't know much about adoptions, but if you need help from me, just let me know. :)
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:59 PM
Response to Reply #27
40. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:13 PM
Response to Reply #40
48. I wasn't jerky to the OP personally either....
I just said the post needed to be in a WTF page instead of a Greatest Page, and that's not Personal I said nothing about him personally (which obviously I didn't know). I said nothing about his family, where he lives, his dog, his cat etc. I just made comment about his post. I know you think you are in the right on this because you were privy to all this before the post came on, but some of us weren't.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #48
49. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:30 PM
Response to Reply #49
50. Because without a REFERENCE or BACKGROUND.,.....
that post is look like a tongue and cheek comment of throwing babies into the trash. THAT'S WHY!!!! READ IT!!!!

You probably wont so here is what I saw:

Subject = Pregnant? (to me looks like the milk ad, so I go in, looking for a fun time)

First Sentence =
Planning on completing the pregnancy and then finding the nearest dumpster?
(Harsh statement, gets you, wow, that's one WTF, seems that no one serious would make such a statement)

Second Sentence =
Ok, I know no one here is, but goddamn.
(Ohh, goddamn, my kind of fun person to reply to, likes to cuss, adds to what sounds like a non-serious post)

Third Sentence =
If anyone knows of someone in a crisis pregnancy who won't or can't abort and doesn't want the child, PM me. Damn.
(This is really a WTF statement. Based on the brevity sentences previously, must be something weird and funny)

So there you go. An impasse again, and I will continue to say impasse over and over again. I didn't know a reference or background so there you go.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:43 PM
Response to Reply #50
51. Yes, you will say impasse over and over again instead of admitting
that you didn't know what the thread was about so that should just justify you taking a pot shot.

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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:45 PM
Response to Reply #51
53. read my post again.....
Based on the words used in the OP I thought it is a light-hearted post.
So I made light-hearted reply, and without backgroud or reference I couldn't have known otherwise.

IMPASSE, IMPASSE, IMPASSE
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #53
58. y'all,
I'm happy to take the brunt on this one. I should have posted the GD link. It needn't be a thing beyond this, I think. :loveya:
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #58
59. Here are some flowers for you and nothingshocksmeanymore..
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:43 PM
Response to Reply #50
52. Yes, you will say impasse over and over again instead of admitting
that you didn't know what the thread was about so that should just justify you taking a pot shot.

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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:57 PM
Response to Reply #19
36. Would be nice for you to apologize, knowing what you now know...
:shrug:
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #36
46. My best is already on #32
I am not apologizing though for any of my comments, nor should the original poster for not placing a reference. It was just something that happened, and happens a lot of boards, and that is lack of communication. People post knee-jerk reactions to articles all the time without references, and that's fine....These things just happen.

I wish Ulysses the best in his endeavor.
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CatWoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #8
20. some would do well
to just shut the fuck up sometimes...........
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:58 PM
Response to Reply #20
38. A-men.
NFT.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #8
21. Again..then ASK....you might get an answer
some of us following the thread knew EXACTLY what it was about..but did you ask? No...you decided to make a statement putting someone else down. This is the shit i am getting fucking sick and tired of around here. If you don't know what a thread is about, it's real important to make sure the thread starter knows you think they have a problem, now isn't it.

I think the internet brings out the worst in people. If we were in person, you would apoligize by now for YOUR obvious out of place comment, but since we are not, you are emboldened to continue.
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dhinojosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. Nope, if there is no reference to either a news story or situation....
there is no way I could know, nor am I going to feel sorry for not "keeping up". I can only see one post at a time, and unfortunately I saw this one first. I also didn't know the current situation. So there are two things unknown to a standard DUer, and without reference one can only comment on the post at hand, and if I didn't like the "dumpster" comment, I am going to comment on that.....

...and so I did.

Also, if it shocks you so much maybe you need change your name.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #25
42. No it didn't shock me at all. I expect some people to be unprovoked asses
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. That really bothered you, didn't it
:hug:

I'm sorry. I'm not going to pretend I understand what you are going through, but I feel you, I think.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. every time.
Every fucking time.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
3. No shit!
Oh, and please, please, please...most states have a "Baby Moses" law. Take the baby to a hospital, police or fire station.

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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #3
17. NC has one such law
You can leave the baby at these places, no questions asked.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
4. If I know of anyone I will pass the word *hugs*
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
6. I have no clue what you are
Edited on Tue Aug-02-05 03:34 PM by Shell Beau
talking about, but if I ever know of anyone wanting to do that, trust me I will intervene in a heartbeat! :hug:
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. link
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. That is atrocious! What a beautiful baby!
Why go through all of that just to dump it, when so many out there would be so happy to take it in? Poor baby.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. Aww, Ulysses
I'm so sorry.

:hug: :hug: :grouphug:


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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
9. I think most of the girls who fall into this category are just scared
Scared and ignorant. I think we can lay the blame for this at the feet of the anti-choice/anti-sex ed lobby. When fear and ignorance abound, people get hurt.

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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. I agree with you.
Can't claim to know the fear, but I understand your point. I'm just frustrated.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #9
16. Some people have that option and choose not
to do it. Some are scared and ignorant and feel hopeless, but there is no excuse for putting a human life in the dumpster to die a horrible death. The blame may lie in many places, but the person who did it would be who I blame first.
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. I don't have it in my to blame a teenager for an act of desperation
Often these are girls who have somehow managed to conceal a pregnancy from their family and who give birth without any medical care, let alone painkillers. Their one thought is self-preservation.

I can't blame someone for that.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #18
23. Well I can! I understand they must be desperate.
Edited on Tue Aug-02-05 03:46 PM by Shell Beau
But there are places for them to go. They have the responsibility of this little life. And what they do with it (even under hard circumstances) is their responsibility. It is murder (or almost if they happen to survive). Period.

I am sorry that they feel they have no options, but the truth is, is that they do. I know I would have been scared out of my mind as a teen if this had happened. But I would have never ever ever ever put a helpless human in the trash.
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. They're ignorant, panicky teenagers
These aren't adult women we're talking about. And with all due respect, I challenge anyone to have a string of logical thoughts immediately after giving birth without painkillers.

This should never happen. But it does. The best thing to do is to educate these girls before it happens, to help them prevent pregnancy in the first place and to show them that if they get pregnant they don't have to go it alone.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #24
28. I know that SOME of them are teenagers, but
teenagers aren't stupid. We will have to just disagree. B/c I can not see not punishing someone who threw away a baby. Sorry. Emotions and all. Emotions are never an excuse to kill.
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Self-delete
Edited on Tue Aug-02-05 03:51 PM by Modem Butterfly
Out of respect for Uly's thread.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:55 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. Feel free to PM me that message if you like.
Whatever it was.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:49 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. hi, Shell.
I am sorry that they feel they have no options, but the truth is, is that they do.

They don't always know that, especially with the GOP braying about parental notification shit.

I appreciate both your point of view and Modem's.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:52 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. I know what you are saying. But during 9 months of
pregnancy, they could have done a little investigating. I just have no pity when I see a poor helpless baby's face that was thrown in a dumpster to die of God knows what. I certainly do not want this to turn into a flame war! But hugs to you! :hug:
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #31
35. last September
we got tangled up briefly with a birthmom who'd kept her pregnancy secret from her parents until 2 days before she gave birth. We had the baby for three days before she decided to reclaim it.

I understand that her parents are raising the child now.

We don't make rational decisions as often as we'd like to believe that we do. Human, all too human.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:58 PM
Response to Reply #35
39. I am sorry about that! That must have been tough!
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:55 PM
Response to Reply #23
34. I'm with Modem on this one
They may have options but they don't know they do. Or the situation is so overwhelming to them and they are afraid of the consequences of taking advantages of those options. It's the action of someone who is beyond rational thought, whose only thought is to escape the situation.

Not the exact thing but a similar state of mind - when I was 15, I was raped by a family friend. I told no one - thought I could just forget it and move on. Three months later, I awoke in the night literally covered in blood and in excruciating pain. I was having a miscarriage - hadn't even realized I'd missed several periods.

I was freaked out, and what freaked me out just as much as the actual event was what my father and stepmother would say. I was still in total confusion about the rape anyway (wondering if it was somehow "my fault" and afraid if I told anyone, they'd blame me for it) and I could not imagine letting them know that I was pregnant!

So I decided I'd tough it out. I'd poke my head out my door when my parents got up to go to work and tell them I was sick and staying home from school. I'd just let nature take its course, let it all happen and then clean up.

Luckily, I only lasted for about four hours and then I was in so much pain, I told them I was bleeding and needed to see a doctor (I never did tell them about the rape - they blamed my boyfriend for the whole thing). I don't know what would have happened had I done what I initially planned but I do know that my mindset was that of a cornered animal.

Of course it's wrong. But sometimes desperation makes people act in ways they wouldn't normally act in. I have compassion for that.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #34
45. That is horrible. I am sorry you went through that!
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #34
47. That's terrible!
You could have died of septic shock! I am so glad you are okay!
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:37 PM
Response to Original message
12. You know I will...
:(

:hug:
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:39 PM
Response to Original message
15. Those stories cut to the core, don't they?
I'm sorry. :hug:
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
37. Awwww, ulysses. If MrG would let me, I'd make one for you.
:hug:
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #37
41. :) thanks, MsG
:loveya:
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Catherine Vincent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
43. I know what you mean.
They should have called me. I would have been too glad to take care of that baby or found someone for them.
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
44. I'm an adopted adult
I have met too many people who think adoption is a great option "...for someone else". It's not very often that I come across folks who consider it a great option for themselves.

I respect you and Mrs. Uly enormously for that.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #44
57. well, were conceiving a possibility,
it would be a great option for someone else. I think we've gone into this with as much openness as we could have, though. I still have hopes that we can make an open adoption happen, but we're really starting to look into the family services route.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
54. If I were in better shape
and didn't have a problem pregnancy the first time I'd have one for you, even though we've never met.
I do live in a college town. I'll listen up for anyone who might be in that kind of situation. We have quite a few adoptions in this town because of the college.
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SmokingJacket Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:51 PM
Response to Original message
55. That story tore my heart out, and I have kids already.
I feel for you, man.

I have some friends who've been going through the adoption process for some years now, and only just this week have a chance at a baby. I hope it works for them, and for you, too.

:hug:
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Pithlet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
56. I will
:hug:
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