Please be careful, This person has found her way into my house and ......

[ElsewheresDaughter]

could also get into yours.

A very weird thing has happened

A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was.

She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completely,obliterating my gorgeous face and body.

This is very rude!

I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back. The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in a while, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all gone!

I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spent some of that money to buy wrinkle cream.

And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing. Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds.

I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on weight too.

For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games, like going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit.

And she messes with files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized.

She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it.

And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

She has done other things - like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum
heavier and all the knobs and faucets harder to turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.

Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars.

She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.

Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong. She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me.

I hope she never finds out where you live. I really do!

[Saphire]

1. sadly, she already has.

[Mnemosyne]

2. omg, she's here!! I just saw her

when I passed the mirror!!

[babylonsister]

3. Wow, she's been here as well! LOL! nt

[For PaisAn]

4. I love that one

Thanks for posting, had forgotten it.

[intheflow]

5. This is pretty funny.

I certainly see myself in that post!

But it's also sad for me to read. My grandmother had alzheimers. The only mirror in her apartment was in the bathroom. She used to get very scared and angry in the bathroom, demanding to know who the old lady was that was always hanging around in there. :(

[BarbaRosa]

6. I don't know about an old lady

but I see a old guy lurking around our house, as you say tricky fellow.

[flakey_foont]

7. Mom!!!!

time to come back home now,,, and take your nice pretty little pills

[neweurope]

8. She got into mine already. And she's an ugly woman.

Overweight, wrinkled as you say. That trick of jumping before the camera just as somebody is about to take a picture of me annoys me most.

-------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[XemaSab]

9. There's a chubby chick in my house

who needs to watch what she eats and also get a little more diligent with the sunscreen. I'm not one to talk, but she's starting to get some fine wrinkles, and it's just not a good look for her.

[Ready4Change]

10. Stop saying mean things about her.

We all love her. We've known her a long time, grown and experienced life and love and tragedy with her. She's been our companion, our friend, or love, and at times our foil and loyal opposition. We wouldn't trade her for the world.

So quit criticizing her. We accept and love her, you should do the same.

end rant

[redqueen]

13. Awwww

:)

[peacefreak]

11. yeah, she's been here, too.

I've just warned all my friends, too.

[livetohike]

12. Well, I will offer her chocolate and champagne and

everything will be all right :-).

[Spirochete]

14. Wonder if she's related

to that damn gray-haired SOB who keeps sneaking in here and using my hairbrush and razor...

[Bucky]

15. A teenage moved into my house

I wish she'd spend some time hiding.