I just got banned from a local supermarket (PTSD is such a trip)

[Obamarama]

I had a little excursion in to the world of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)tonight. First, a little background...

Eighteen years ago, on August 17, 1987 my partner and first love of my life was killed in the crash of Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in Detroit. We had been together for 4 years. I was supposed to be on the flight with him, but due to a last minute crisis situation at work I had to delay my departure by a few days. I was leaving the airport from dropping him off when I saw it crash, quite literally before my eyes.

I've been pretty succesful at picking up the pieces and moving on, or so I thought. I've had PTSD rear its ugly head before, and it's typically been centered around plane crashes.

As much as I'd like to think I've put it all behind me, I still dread August rolling around on the calendar. I was in the kitchen begining to prepare dinner tonight when the first reports started trickling in on the TV. So here it was...August, miserably hot and humid like it was that horrible day back in 1987, AND I'm watching live images of a plane crash. After less than ten minutes of listening to the MSM talking heads spew their speculations I literally felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin.

I decided to take refuge in the supermarket. I put dinner in the fridge, grabbed the shopping list and off I went. BIG MISTAKE.

Some selfish woman in another car tried to cut me off and steal the parking space I was just about ready to pull into, but I pulled in first. She honked and flipped me off.

We eventually ended up in the same aisle of the grocery store and she tore into me with a barrage of expletives and literally followed me to the end of the aisle when I tried to peacefully avoid her. She wouldn't cease and I guess you could say I SNAPPED.

I can't remember everything I said but it was generally along the lines of if she didn't shut her ugly face NOW, she was going to be leaving the store on a stretcher. I grabbed her cart and overturned it, and her purse and the groceries went flying. By the time I had shaken up a loose can of soda to open and spray at her, she had taken off running and I realized half the store was looking at me, scared out of their fucking wits.

Security was called, the police was called, and I was led to a back office, shaking, sweating and crying. Talk about HUMILIATION. After I regained my compusure, I explained to the store manager and police officers WHY I freaked out and momentarily lost total control. They were very understanding, no charges are being pressed, but per store policy they have barred me from shopping there.

I am a rational, responsible adult. This is definitely not my MO. I am humiliated and disgusted. I thought all of the emotional baggage surrounding this was BEHIND me. I can't imagine how the friends and families of the people who lost loved ones on the Delta crash in Dallas 20 years to the day must feel today. I already know they were probably having a rough day, but this...this was just a cruel twist of fate.

I have a good support network of friends to sort this out with, but I'm not quite ready to verbalize my feelings tonight. Yet, I felt the need to communicate about it in some fashion. So, thanks for letting me vent.

[progmom]

1. .....

:hug:

[vicman]

2. Sounds like your assailant

picked the wrong day to be her (most likely) customarily evil P-O-S self. Sorry you had to bear the brunt, but you were literally cornered with nowhere to turn. Hope next year's better :)

[cynatnite]

37. She was not an assailant

She caught the wrong end of a serious problem the OP has.

[BiggJawn]

49. "Tearing into" the OP with a "String of expletives" didn't help, either.

All over what she saw as "HER" parking spot...

[cynatnite]

53. I never said she was right

but she is far from an assailant. Also, it's not like it was her fault there was violence. Even as wrong as she was in her reactions, it still scared the shit out of her enough to run. They called the cops and everything.

I think the OP needs professional help. After all, something like this happens four years after the fact and my belief is there are some issues that haven't been dealt with.

[Tsiyu]

77. Welcome to PTSD

You can have years of therapy, but your body is still going to remain conditioned to "react" to certain stimuli in primal ways. Somehow, the brain and reasoning have little influence without very strenuous effort, even in people who are otherwise calm, peace-loving individuals.

Over the years, you learn to adapt - to make better choices that override the physical. You actually have to "trick" your body and reflexes into believing that a certain situation is NOT going to be harmful, when the PTSD is screaming and shouting "The sky is falling!" Therapy and medication can help, but the overreacting is your new "self." You have been rewired and it is next to impossible to be "counseled" or medicated out of it.

If your PTSD is caused by one significant event that rarely happens, it is very difficult to "prepare" for the event. In this case, plane crashes are her trigger. Explain how therapy will predict the next plane crash?

Four years is nothing to PTSD. Ask a Viet Nam Vet. Ask our Iraqi Vets in five years. And get ready to deal with a whole lot more folks with PTSD.

All of this is only my opinion, of course.....

[BiggJawn]

81. I never said you were wrong.

BTW, the event happened EIGHTEEN years ago, not four.

For what it's worth, I still struggle with an abusive relationship that ended almost 10 years ago. I AM getting "professional help", and your statement of "...my belief is there are some issues that haven't been dealt with." makes me want to say "No fuckin' SHIT, Sherlock! DUH!!!!"

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

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[cynatnite]

61. You made my point quite well

And I didn't even have to tell you to 'fuck off' either. :eyes:

on edit: The OP has more of a problem than the woman if his personal issues come out in the way of violence on a stranger. Glad to know you approve of it :eyes:

[RummyTheDummy]

69. And your point was......

This woman was JUSTIFIED in harassing a person across multiple aisles over a parking space. Blame the OP. Interesting logic. Save the arm chair psychology. You don't know anything about the OP or how he has dealt with this over 17 years.

On a side note, I bet the old hag doesn't do that again over a parking space. :evilgrin:

[cynatnite]

71. hmm...you must've missed my other posts on this

:eyes: convenient, I'd say.

I'm off to bed. Pissing contests are not my style, but feel free to continue at your own leisure.

[RummyTheDummy]

72. YOU said it was not her fault there was violence

Of course it was her fault. She could have gone about her business and found another space. Instead, she berated a guy over mutiple aisles of a Supermarket and got her ass handed to her. If she had simply shut up, nothing would have happened.

[cynatnite]

75. You must've missed the part of the OP's post where it said...

He became violent to the extent the police had to be called. She said some stupid things, but it in no way gives anyone the right to become violent. In this case, the OP was clear about his/her condition.

I suggest you do some reading on PTSD, too. In many cases you will find that no one has to do a thing for it to rear it's ugly head.

Fortunate for everyone involved, the OP became calm enough to recognize what had happened. What would have happened if the OP or someone with a condition such as this was carrying a gun or some other weapon?

These things can be dangerous if they are not handled correctly.

I don't have PTSD, but I can tell you if I was in the same situation over a parking space I would've probably flipped her off and moved on. A person with PTSD can react completely different than what normal people would expect. It's a serious disorder that can have devastating effects on friends, family and strangers, too.

It's already been discussed in this thread and some have said they suffer or have suffered from it. I had a relative who almost killed someone because of it. The other person was a jackass, yes, but they in no way deserved it. This is a problem that needs taken seriously and not your 'the bitch deserved it' attitude. It shows a lack of understanding and empathy for the OP and the woman who had no way of knowing what she was faced with.

(I'm not justifying her stupidity over a parking space...I feel more for the OP than anything else)

[RummyTheDummy]

86. Clearly the police saw it differently

They reviewed the security video and saw that he went out of his way to avoid the incident. Yet she continued to push it. Went on and on and on. I know people who don't have PTSD nor any other mental problems whatsoever who might have done the exact same thing. If there was any doubt, he'd be sitting in jail right now. End of story.

Again, save the armchair psychology. You don't know what you're talking about nor do you know the OP nor are you an expert on PTSD. You may think you are, but you're not.

[hfojvt]

62. it's like the NFL

the one who retaliates gets the flag.

[Shell Beau]

78. Nobody deserves to have their buggy overturned.

And almost spewed in the face with a shaken up coke can. Sure, the woman overreacted. But this was extreme.

But to the OP, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Sorry for what you went through and apparently still go through!

[Richard Steele]

60. Then you obviously don't read DU much, oh "most sheltered" one... (nm)

[RummyTheDummy]

70. Exactly

NT

[kick-ass-bob]

76. Hugs to the OP, and the quote:

"We eventually ended up in the same aisle of the grocery store and she tore into me with a barrage of expletives and literally followed me to the end of the aisle when I tried to peacefully avoid her."

Main Entry: as·sail·ant
Pronunciation: &-'sA-l&nt
Function: noun
: a person who commits criminal assault


Assault has nothing to do with touching someone - that is battery. So, she was an assailant - but so was the OP.

Just a sad situation all around.

:hug: to the OP

[KurtNYC]

82. This thread raised a question for me

At what point, if any, does verbal assault justify or equal physical asault? In other words, is there anything a person can say that would justify physical retaliation in the same way that just walking up and slapping someone might?

Found a court case:
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=wa&vol=443739&invol=o01

The trial court found that Lanetta began and pursued a "controversial,
confrontational and accusatory conversation" with Morris and that by her
insistent behavior, Lanetta was a provoker of the incident. The court
further found that Lanetta did not strike Whitfield, but her repeated
verbal conduct ultimately provoked a violent response from Whitfield and
that Whitfield's response was disproportionate to the provocation. The
court concluded that the extent and persistence of Lanetta's conduct was
sufficient to support an exceptional sentence below the standard range.

But in reviewing the exceptional sentence, the State:

contends that because the Supreme Court has held that a
victim's words are never sufficient provocation for a physical assault,
State v. Riley, 137 Wn.2d 904, 911, 976 P.2d 624 (1999), similarly, a
victim's nonthreatening words cannot to a significant degree provoke a physical assault so as to justify an exceptional sentence downward.


If I read it right then the State maintains that ONLY threatening speech rises to this level.

[Maddy McCall]

84. No. Let's talk about PTSD-I think I'm well-versed on this topic.

PTSD survivors often go to the ends of the earth to preserve peace. They will avoid confrontation at all costs. If the person this other woman would have verbally assaulted had not had PTSD, then she might have been picking her ass up off of the floor much earlier than she did.

But because the person she verbally assaulted (thus making her an assailant) has PTSD, the person did everything she could to avoid confrontation. Only when literally backed into a corner did she explode.

One thing you must understand is that PTSD survivors are often very very very peaceful people, because their greatest fear is to end up in any kind of confrontation, verbal, physical, emotional. They go to the ends of the earth to avoid it.

The woman who verbally assaulted our DU friend must have been extremely aggressive toward our DU friend. Only when the tank is full will the pressure valve open. Too bad the woman pressed our DU friend until that valve opened. (Maybe she learned a lesson about confronting strangers in public places.)

[Sanity Claws]

3. so sorry, dear

Go ahead and vent. Here's a hug :hug:

[whistle]

4. No problem....if you need some help, try this link....

http://www.recovery-inc.com/introduction.html

You should be able to find support groups near you.

[tavalon]

5. Wow

Sorry that happened to you.

I hate having to watch out for PTSD triggers. OTOH, if I don't, they get me.

[Arugula Latte]

6. I'm sorry you went through this. I hope you're okay.

However, may I say the image of you shaking a can and spraying it at her is strangely satisfying to me? :evilgrin:

[Berry Cool]

23. Wow.

I'm not even sure why I read this, but somehow I did. What can I say? I feel for you. I would have been quite upset to be the person you vented on without knowing what was behind it...but it just goes to show, we usually don't know what's going on in the lives of the people around us and why they behave the way they do.

I was a little freaky today too. One of my sisters was flying today--she was supposed to land about 6 pm. I came home late from work (after 8) to find a message from her on my answering machine from before she left, saying goodbye and I love you and all that, and I could hear her kids making racket in the background and they were laughing. I played that first, then turned on my TV--and the first thing I saw was an image of a plane in flames.

Yeah, it was a little upsetting until I saw the word "CANADIAN" and knew it wasn't where she was flying--or at least I hoped her plane hadn't been diverted there because it was going down. And of course it was a relief to hear that there were no deaths, anyway.

Years ago, the veil of protection that we all wear around ourselves that irrationally tells us "that kind of thing can't happen to me or someone I care about" was torn away from you. I know what it's like to have that veil torn away, only in another context. You'll never be able to look at or hear of a plane accident without feeling that acute pain and that survivor guilt.

When something like this happens, I think you need to remove yourself from other people for a while (except for those close to you who understand) and take care of yourself. You'll be the better for it.

Hope things get better for you, even if they'll never completely heal.

[emcguffie]

31. ditto ditto. nt

[Ian David]

36. I got to spray water on a Jehovah's Witness

He had the misfortune of showing-up in my driveway just as I was leaving to go to my grandma's funeral.

And he said yes, he DID see this sign on my door


"Thank you, that's very refreshing..."

I'm sorry, but once they are on MY turf, all rules are off.

Same goes for the guy selling dish soap (which I hope he managed to clean out off his Dockers).

[Tallison]

68. Ha! When I first saw this thread title I thought

how much trouble could one find in a supermarket?!? Props to OP for creativity! Can't help but laugh (a little).

[TexasLady]

7. Im so sorry

many hugs for you today.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

8. Maybe that horrible woman will take stock of herself.

[SouthernDem2004]

9. No need to feel humiliated or disgusted for that matter.

The other women was out of control and continued to push and push. Everyone has a breaking point and people under alot of stress have a shorter fuse.

Heck, the people that saw here giving you grief probably thought it was amusing when you popped off on her. That being said you might want to try grief consuling or something of that nature. Do not worry about what others think, worry about yourself. Its time for some "me time."

If I were you I would call the store in a couple of days and talk to the manager. Apologize and ask if it would be possible if you could shop there in the future. They will probably be understanding.

[Obamarama]

22. The store manager and police reviewed the security camera tape...

They could see I tried to avoid a confrontation. When I explained the entire situation, and what triggered the whole bloody mess, they were quite understanding. One of the police officers said he knows a lot of cops who struggle with PTSD.

I've been through the grief counseling, the PTSD therapy and I know you probably won't believe me NOW, but I've actually been able to move forward and be happy in life.

The thing about PTSD is that everything can be A-Okay, and then a trigger comes along and blows everything temporarily out of the water. Which is why I was off to the supermarket to cool off and avoid the news coverage.

Guess I should have left sooner, huh!? :-)

[Tsiyu]

30. Yeah, and the triggers can be so innocuous

but it does sound like the other woman was "cruisin' for a bruisin'" and she got a lot more than she bargained for!

[Ian David]

34. The supermarket is hardly a blissful spa. Next time, try Starbucks

Hang in there, dude.

There's not much you can do about it.

Just don't let embarrassment add to the stress.

I went through a bad time myself, and I'm lucky I didn't get arrested or killed.

I had the misfortune of losing my grandmother, getting cancer, and almost losing my mother at almost the same time. And then my boss-- a member of a "pro-family" group-- told me to take a hike when I asked to take an unpaid leave for a month.

While the fallout settled, there were many times when I was a within spitting distance of being read my rights.

You've got to find better places to go to get away.

Unfortunately, people are everywhere and people suck.

[dogpatch]

10. Vent away

I've been with my family for the last four weeks as my father's had an emergency quadruple bypass and other heart procedures. Between the complicated family dynamics and terror that we were going to lose him and added layers of stress about being totally absent from my normal life and getting behind on a huge work project I empathize very deeply with how you're feeling right now. Taking many deep breaths...

And I'm so sorry about your trauma and terrible loss, sending you some reinforcement.

[BobRossi]

11. Bummer...

Too bad you didn't have the time to grab a leg of lamb or maybe a nice tenderloin to smack her with!

[merh]

12. Bless your heart.

((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry that the 1987 tragedy happened and that you had this happen today. :hug:

Sending out positive energies and love. :pals:

Thank you for feeling comfortable enough with the folks at DU to share this. I hope and pray tomorrow is better.

[Horse with no Name]

13. I'm sorry for your loss.

I assumed it was the Dallas crash.
I had a friend fly in from Spokane the day after that happened and picked them up in Dallas. I'll never forget.
:hug:

[Lindsay]

14. Good on ya for venting here.

That's a good first step.

Now start to forgive yourself for being human and reacting to some very bad stresses, okay?

[MissB]

15. You are a rational, responsible adult

who really has had a bad day. :hug:

[converted_democrat]

16. dupe

[converted_democrat]

17. dupe

[Tsiyu]

18. Sucks to have PTSD

I went through a few years afraid to ever leave the house. I can relate.

You had a very severe reaction and instead of feeling ashamed, accept that you are human and that your neurological system has been "rewired." Instead of hanging your head, look at this as a very helpful experience, because now you know what not to do, and you can work on ways to minimize your reactions so that this never happens again.

Analyze the entire event, start to finish, by journaling or recording your memories of it. Then examine the experience to find out what exactly you felt during the various moments and why you felt that way and what your response to the feelings were.

When you pinpoint your strongest reactions and emotions during the event, you are on your way to discover how to change the strong reactions you might have.

You're gonna be okay, and here's another :hug: and PM me if you want to talk about it any more....

[Obamarama]

33. Wow...sounds like you "know the score"

Thanks for the offer to PM you. I'll take you up on it! Peace.

[converted_democrat]

19. dupe

[converted_democrat]

20. PTSD is awful.......

I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. I admire you for having the courage to write about it. I hope you feeling better now.

:pals:

[ClusterFreak]

21. You're human....no one is perfect....

...time and circumstance collided today...and sent that lady's grocery cart flying and her ducking for cover from your incoming soda spray(!)...not to worry though. If I were in your shoes....I can see me blowing some kind of gasket on a bitch or some jerkoff who just got right up in my face like that. And then feeling utterly contrite after. :pals:

[Mnemosyne]

24. My daughter suffers from PTSD, I understand.

So sorry that you suffer, and very glad you have people that give you the support you need. It still doesn't make it go away I know.
Hang in there!

:hug:

[Mnemosyne]

25. dupe

:hug:

[Catherine Vincent]

Oh you poor dear.

But imo, if the store wants to be fair .... the woman that was after you should be barred too.

[nosmokes]

26. hope the day gets better kzoo

[Mnemosyne]

27. dupe

[kitkat65]

28. I'm so sorry - I don't know what else to say.

I'm much better at humouring people out of things so let me say this . . . YOU WON! At least with the mean, crazy bitch at the supermarket. I'm sure you scared the shit out of her and I'll bet she thinks twice about picking fights in the future.

I had one out of control incident not long after my dad died. Tequila and mourning is a bad mix and it got pretty ugly - let's just say I drew blood and leave it at that. But I know the worthless feeling it leaves behind and you will put it behind you.

I hope you're able to laugh about this supermarket incident someday. Think about this - some people can get that out of control and don't even have a very good reason for it.

You sound like a reasonable person. Shit happens. Forgive yourself. Call a friend and have a good cry.

Peace . . .

[OffWithTheirHeads]

29. You go girl!

We don't need to put up with shit just cause we are "more enlightened". I simply will not tolerate rudeness and will shove it right back in the face of anyone who thinks they have some God given right to be obnoxious. Believe me, you don't want to get in my face with your attitude unless you have good manners. I respect good manners and will often back down when a reasonable request is made, but, get uppity, and I get very defensive. I am not real good at keeping my mouth shut when I feel that I am right. Call me a liberal. I ware the lable proudly.

[Zhade]

32. Man, you certainly have my sympathy, friend.

I once had a panic attack in a supermarket, and it was ten thousand times more mundane than your experience.

I'm sorry about your loss and its lingering negative effects. Try to hang in there and all that. :hug:

[Swamp Rat]

35. Lots hugs for you.

:hug:

When you are OK, and if you feel like it, go back to the store and ask them if they still want your business. If not, ask them if the other shopper was banned and if so, you would like proof of the banishment. If not... write a scathing letter to the editor. ;)

It could be cathartic. :)

[cynatnite]

38. You need therapy

My uncle came back from 'Nam with a serious case of PTSD and it was years before he finally got help. There were so many incidents similar to what you've described here and when he did get into a fight and thrown in jail, that was when he finally got the help he needed.

Sure the woman was inconsiderate and rude over the whole parking space issue, but your reaction tells me that you need some serious counseling.

It's been four years and if you are still struggling with this in such a way, I do believe that professional help is needed.

Now, I don't know you personally and I'm using what you've posted as a guide. I do feel for your tragedy and the loss you've suffered. Losing a partner in such a horrific fashion would traumatize anyone.

I do hope you get the help you need.

[miss_kitty]

39. I am sorry you had to go through that

All I can do is offer you my sympathies and hope that your PTSD will fade. Your behaviour is nothing to be humiliated or disgusted about. It sounds as if your reaction was a fear-based defensive one (flight was tried first, fight was choice number 2). The person who should be embarassed was the other one.

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. I'm so sorry...I remember that horribly awful day myself. I remember

just utter devastation. I still get really sick inside whenever I pass Middlebelt and see the memorial on I-94. My heart goes out to you.

[Obamarama]

46. Remember little Cecelia Chichan, the 4 year-old girl who survived?

The one bright spot out of that whole tragedy is that she is now a beautiful young woman living down in Alabama.

I'll be at the annual remembrance ceremony at the memorial this year, August 16 (I see I posted August 17 in my inital post. I caught the typo after the windo for editing had passed)

[ScreamingMeemie]

73. You'll be in my thoughts. I do remember that little girl and how at

first they thought she was a passenger in a car until they saw the airline seatbelt. I cannot imagine the hell you have gone through, for that accident sticks in so many minds of those who didn't even have a loved one on board. The wierd thing is, all this week I've been thinking about that flight. :hug: Go easy on yourself.

[pitohui]

41. i'm so sorry, friend

yes, it flashes back like it's right now

my stressor is not a crash, it's a natural disaster, but all i can say is <hugs>


william faulkner said it, the past is not another country, it is not even the past

tears in my eyes now

you take care of yourself

because we care

[undeterred]

42. I'm sorry

Please be gentle with yourself. I don't have PTSD but I do understand that this happens to lots of people - I've freaked out in public once or twice myself.

Forgive yourself, you are human and have the scars to prove it.

:hug:

[knowbody0]

43. i have the same condition

and last week had an attack in the lobby of my shrink's clinic. i fainted big time (pissed my pants). thank God for DU. it is a great place to vent, and there's always so much loving support. take good care of yourself tonight.
peace and love

[Ptah]

44. Maybe this will sooth you a little

:pals:

[marzipanni]

64. That, or chocolate

Do you live here?:

Wecome to DU, Ptah

[Ptah]

79. No, but sometimes it feels like I walk those stairs at work.

I was actually saving the Lego fish monger to bribe Skinner, but I
felt KzooDem needed it more.

Escher is one of my favorites.

Thanks for the welcome,marzipanni.

:hi:

[proud2BlibKansan]

45. Oh man

I hope you are feeling better now.

That woman needs to be banned as well. Especially if she was cursing at you. What a bitch! :grr:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

47. I'm sorry you had that experience

PTSD is like that, you can not have an episode for years and then, wham! it rears it's head. Don't blame yourself for something you have no control over. You may want to speak with your doctor about this, it's possible you may be able to keep something on hand for times when you think you may trigger. Like today, after you started to feel affected by the reports on TV.

On a lighter note, I doubt the person you had the altercation with will be as quick to be nasty to stangers in the future.

Take care of yourself.. :hug:

[Darth_Kitten]

48. Hey, I say you are entitled......

I'm not saying that anything is justified, but why was she taunting and taunting you? :( I say she is partly responsible for having goaded you, she was expecting a reaction. :(

Just don't be so hard on yourself. :( You have gone through so much pain so who is anyone to judge you?

We all have "lost" it (so to speak) at times. You are the same person you've always been. :hug:

[BiggJawn]

50. Wow.

:hug:

[chaska]

51. Hey man, I hear ya. But....

it's not just you. Not to minimize your experience at all, but this is what Bush has done to us. It's his biggest legacy. He's making us all crazy. I'm right on the edge all the time myself.

Peace.

[LordshipLadyship]

52. Listen

Let's say you didn't even have the ptsd. Even the strongest person has their breaking point. I tell my husband that even marble cracks sometimes. Both he and I are formally diagnosed with the ptsd, so we understand. Look at the positive. You didn't harm anyone. You may have scared that woman to the point where she may think twice about doing that again. You did what lots of us wish we could do. Don't be hard on yourself if at all possible. You're just human.

[deadparrot]

56. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

No one deserves that kind of trauma in their lives. I hope you can get the help you need to feel better.

[Capn Sunshine]

57. Lemme tell you a little somethin' about PTSD

you'l learn to live with it, like it's a parasite on your soul. It will definitely take a form you will come to recognize, and you will be able to deal with the beast on that level.

but it will never go away, and those feelings are now a part of your whole biochemistry or personality profile. You MUST accept this.

What will happen though, is that incrementally, it will diminish bit by bit, synapse by synapse, twinge by twinge, until finally, you will control IT, not the other way around.

Seek counseling , and know that there are many just like you walking among us, and many, many more about to come back and attempt to mainstream with us in the next five years as this godawful war winds down.

You will overcome this, you handled yourself pretty well this time out, just recognize that some stuff can't be unsaid, and some actions can't be undone, and there will be places you used to go where it is best you don't go again, and just accept the consequences and move on.

peace out

[khashka]

59. Ain't it a fuckin' riot?

I was brutally raped when I was 17. (Keep thinking I'm over that... yeah right), my lover was stabbed 20someodd times and hit 3 times in the head with an axe.

As you might expect, I know a thing or two about PTSD.

When you feel ready to verbalize your feelings... PM me.

Khash.

[ScreamingMeemie]

74. Khash....

:hug: :cry:

[NMMNG]

63. Don't be so embarassed

PTSD can wreak havoc on a person's life, and it has no official timeline. People who fought in the Vietnam war are still suffering from the effects of PTSD.

You had a traumatic experience, and encountered a trigger. Then the woman at the store deliberately antagonized you. She obviously got way more than she expected, but that may be for the better since she might stop being such a &%$! to total strangers in the future.

Since you mentioned that you have a good support network I'll presume you are in good hands. If not feel free to come back and vent any time. :hug:

[applegrove]

65. Yes I am sorry. They have some really excellent drugs for that.

I have PTSD - but was never one for blowing on the spot. Usually in the quiet of my safe little nest.

Maybe try sending flowers. And apologize. Not so you will get let back in the store. Just to tell them you are sorry.

Best wishes.

[WCGreen]

66. Serious Accident, Two near death expericences

I haven't flipped totally but have come close.....

Once I did bash some hit around and screamed all funny like, I felt better. It was almost as if the demon inside has escaped after the outburst, that I had cleansed myself....

For what it's worth

[marzipanni]

67. We are all vulnerable to some degree

Perhaps that woman is having some big problem in her life that caused an overreaction to the small stress of not getting her first pick of parking spaces.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

80. I'm so very sorry that you had to experience all this KzooDem

:hug:
It sounds like you had an awful night and I'm so sorry that you had to go through everything that you did. You have my thoughts, prayers, best wishes and positive vibes extended to you:hug:

[youspeakmylanguage]

83. Some suggestions...

I understand why you snapped, and I feel for you. I have friends that still grieve over the loss of loved ones at a certain time of the year and dealing with the stress of everyday life becomes excruciating for them.

However, responding to someone following and cursing at you with threatening violence and overturning shopping carts (along with their personal property) is not acceptable behavior in any situation, even if you don't really mean to follow-through with your threat. No matter what she might have said to provoke your reaction, you were still wrong to react in the way that you did.

I'm not perfect, and I've reacted the same way you have in stressful situations when I was younger. But it doesn't help to have a thread full of people telling you that everything is A-OK. Please seek professional help in dealing with your grief and possible anger management issues.

[cally]

85. Just a hug

and I'm very glad the situation wasn't worse. I'm sorry for the loss of your loved one.

[Rising Phoenix]

87. hugs for you, sounds like a rough day

[DS1]

88. I hope that stupid woman learned her fucking lesson

If you did anything, you did her a favor. The next time she pulls shit like that she might just end up with a new hole in her skull.

And frankly, I'd be okay with that. If I witnessed something like that and someone snapped and blasted her, I'd step over the body and find some ripe tomatos.

[Misunderestimator]

89. Don't be humiliated.... we all have triggers...

and yours are understandable! :hug: