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I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed That's the hand I use, well, never mind
I been Phil Spectored, resurrected I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce And all of my wealth won't buy me health So I smoke a pint of tea a day
I knew a man, his brain so small He couldn't think of nothing at all He's not the same as you and me He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas Whoever he was The man ain't got no culture But it's alright, ma Everybody must get stoned
I been Mick Jaggered, silver daggered Andy Warhol, won't you please come home? I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled Been Roy Haleed and Art Garfunkeled I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone
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