I'm tired and I'm pissed...

[Democracy White]

My sister wanted me to take her today at 9am to the food pantry. So I get up today at 8:30am , drive to her apartment, (which isn't far) and I knock on her door. She doesn't answer so I pound on the door as hard as I can. She still doesn't answer... So I left and went to McD's (shit I was hungry)and got soem breakfast. Went home, ate and went back to bed. I had a hard time falling asleep as with my usual bi-polar self. I did sleep a little but not well as I had weird dreams and that usully is an indication that I am no wheres near the REM cycle..

So I am pissed becuase she didn't have the initiative to call me the night before and leave a message on the answering machine that she changed her mind. She did leave a message: To pick her up!!!

So I had thought she would be ready by 9:00am!!! But no response!! man I am mad!! I lost some of my precious sleep because of this and I don't like it when I don't get my sleep. Mind you, I have been having trouble as you can probably tell on here since my thoughts aren't that coherent.

Ok that's enough because my brain is burning now.

Dee

[WCGreen]

1. Chill out and cal, down....

Go draw somehting

[Democracy White]

2. I'm too tired to draw. n/t

[WCGreen]

3. Lay back, take a few deep breathes

and think about what you want to draw....

My MD gave me a prescription once that simply said Sleep When You Can.....

[Democracy White]

4. I would but even my brain is fizzled right now..

I'll probably go take another nap...

I think I'm also in a manic cycle and I am going to mention it to my counselor tommorow.

I hate it when my sister does things like this. She asks me for too many favors and I get nothing in return.

Dee

[WCGreen]

5. Don't expect what you know won't be coming.....

That has always been a problem of mine. Until I finnaly figured out that not all people are wired the same. Some people just are way to self absorbed to realize when you do something nice for them....


Sweetie, try and calm down.......

[Democracy White]

7. I'm sorry if I offended you...

I know what you are trying to do... I'm just angry and I have alot of issues going on with my family right now that I am trying to break away from the abusive "slave" cycle that my mom and sis have me on. It's a long story and I can't really tell it here since I got 25 minutes left on the clock.

But basically, I have always been the "go fer" of the family.. "Karla go turn up the TV, Karla go upstairs and get my red pants, Karla there's money on my dresser can you go get it for me?" You get the idea.

Then when my mom and sis are around each other it feels as if they gang up on me, I get moody at times and yes, I have an attitude, but then they do the "go fer" shit and drives me nuts. If I tell them to get it themselves, they accuse me of having an attitude and snap at me, etc.

So that's part of the story.

Dee

[no name no slogan]

6. do you take lithium or anything for the bipolar?

yes, definately talk to the counsellor tomorrow. and in the meantime here's a hug :hug:

[Democracy White]

8. Nope Carbatrol and Seroquel...

I have to talk to my counselor there's alot that's building up...

Thanks for the hug though.

Dee

[no name no slogan]

9. i see

yeah, i'm on a whole pharmacopea (sp?) of stuff too. please take care of yourself. i know things are rough but they do get better.

hang in there, and here's another hug just for good luck! :hug:

[Democracy White]

10. Thank you so much...

Life can be hard for me a times, though my mom and sis are always telling me that I "overdramatize" things. Shit they aren't living in my head!!!

Dee