Long Distance Relationships

[indigo32]

Poll question: Long Distance Relationships

Have you tried this?
How did it go for you?

[progmom]

1. tried it, it sucked

but...he turned out to be really really odd. so i think it not working out was more a function of him being odd than it was that he was far away.

[indigo32]

2. Hard to judge those things from a distance isn't it -nt

[Left_Winger]

3. Same here, odd person...

but the genders were reversed. The distance was only 45 miles, so does that count for long-distance?

:shrug:

[fudge stripe cookays]

4. Found my true love.

:loveya:

Just had our 5 year anniversary about 2 weeks ago. It was hard for a year or so, but we were up for it, knew what was involved, and have never forgotten all that we went through to be together. It's what keeps us strong.

FSC

[indigo32]

5. Cool

:bounce:

[faithnotgreed]

8. yeah for love

glad for you both
it takes special people to see through any relationship let alone one that is long distance

i tried it for 3 (of our 4) years and it was not easy
i have some good memories but overall it was just too much work

but when you find the right one then you can definitely work anything out
here is to many more years together

[faithnotgreed]

6. difficult but worked for awhile

it just took a lot of energy sometimes
my bf was in grad school and wanted to talk a lot or would call late as his schedule was different than mine

he was sweet but needed more than i could give in that situation
we tried and talked a lot and visited when we could but eventually it was just too much but we lasted about 4 years with all but the first year as long distance

but if both people are coming from the basic same place and really want it to work it definitely can
just be prepared to communicate in all things and understand that there can be more misunderstandings (esp if its not the early honeymoon phase) when the emphasis is talking over the phone/email and not face to face

[Ariana Celeste]

7. "Other" because I had a few.

I never quite got along with other people my age in my area. So I have always socialized more on the internet.

I had a couple of harmless long distance relationships as a younger teenager. We would write letters, send pictures, chat online, sometimes buy a cheap phonecard and talk on the phone. It was really rather cute. Those each lasted just a couple of months before we decided, it wasn't going to work for whatever reason and mutually split.

I had another one where I genuinely really cared for the dude, and one night called him up and was told that he couldn't talk, he was busy. He stayed on the phone for a few minutes and then a girl picked up his other phone- turned out that he had me for the emotional crap and her for the physical crap. We both left him. (This I know because one of my previous harmless relationships was with a guy he went to school with- weird, huh? :)) I got over it pretty quick.

Fast forward a little bit- I meet this guy online who is just so sweet. We start a long distance relationship and we talk all the time, and after a few months he gets emotionally abusive towards me. I deal with it. I meet him in person, he comes and stays with me at my dads for the summer while he gets in shape to go to the navy. He became physically abusive, and emotionally abusive. By the end of the summer I had ended up punching him in the face, I couldn't handle it anymore. A couple weeks later, him thinking all was fine and dandy, he leaves for the navy and I move back in with my mom and when he contacts me again I tell him it's over. He still calls me sometimes and emails and told me he got discharged for having some personality disorder. I believe he has a disorder because of the way he always acted, but I learned over time he was a liar as well, so I have no idea. And I don't really care. (On edit- that was the first and only time I ever hit anybody, I guess everybody has their breaking point)

Fast forward some more- I'm with an abusive guy in person, end up moving in with him and have all sorts of horrible problems with him and his family, so I start spending more time with my mom at her house, and online while she's at work. I start chatting more and more often with this guy I had known online for a couple of years and he helps me feel better about myself and between him, my mom, and my online friends I find the strength to leave the abusive guy. Online guy and I talk more and more often and decide that I should come to his state- I spend my last paycheck on a one way ticket to Indiana and move in with him. We are together today, and although we havent gone through the legal stuff we consider eachother husband and wife, that's how we feel in our hearts.

Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, but they are usually very hard in terms of being lonely because the one you care for is so far away. And if you dont meet them in person or sometimes even if you do there is always a chance they are using the net or whatever as a front and are in reality lying to you about everything. There are a lot of bad people out there but there are good ones too. I was fortunate in finding my SO, he is everything I could ever hope for and more. Never met anybody who understands me on such the level that he does, and he says the same. He's met my family and I've met some of his. My family just adores him, and his mom and I talk all the time. Very happy together.

[faithnotgreed]

10. wow~

thats quite a lot youve gone through in these relationships

its wonderful you found such a good person to share your life with
and to leave these abusive relationships takes a special strength so im happy for that as well

congratulations to you both on a happy ending

[indigo32]

13. Interesting

"I never quite got along with other people my age in my area. So I have always socialized more on the internet."

Well this is sort of my problem, even in a city like Mpls, the dating pool of appropriate lesbian women is just not that big, and I've just not clicked with any of them.

I've met someone "interesting" online, on another site, and we are flirting and slowly starting to get to know eachother. I wouldn't even call it a "relationship" yet, but I'm enjoying it. Not at all sure where it will lead, and certainly not letting this little poll guide my actions, just curious.


Glad your last worked out :)

[Kathleen04]

9. No personal experience

but one is going quite well for a friend of mine. She's originally from California and living in Tennessee and she met this guy who is a friend of one of our girl-friends in CA. I think they originally started communicating online, then the phone, then he's gone to visit her and has future trips to visit her set up. :)

It seems as though relationships that start out as long distance have a better chance of surviving than the ones that turn long distance, but that's just a humble observation on my part.

[dr.strangelove]

11. Tried it a few times. Once it sucked once it became friends with benefits

when we were both home from college. If it is someone who is not possessive and you are not possessive, it can work. If not, run away.

[gollygee]

12. Our 7th wedding anniversary is coming up this month

we were a long-distance relationship for about a year before that.

[HEyHEY]

14. "Distrance"? Does it have to be a relationship with Scooby Doo?

[indigo32]

15. LOL -NT