What's the worst local television commercial you've ever seen?

[Kraklen]

I don't live near Vancouver any more but there used to be (still is?) this guy called The Captain. The Captain looks a bit like Skipper from Gilligan's Island, only fatter and uglier. He owns a pawn shop and apparently filmed his own commercials using the cameras and mikes from his own store. Usually he had the decency to wear a little sailor's hate and a shirt. One time he "dressed" like a sumo wrestler and did the commercial in a horrible "japanese" accent. Now, sumo wrestlers aren't exactly eye candy, but this guy made them by comparison. He had really bad body hair which had all gone gray and did absolutely NOTHING to cover his moobs. I think he was wearing some kind of thong, but: 1. I didn't look that close, and 2. his gut hung down to his thighs.

It was almost a so-bad-it's-good commercial.

Most of them are just bad. There's these two local businesses, a chinese restaurant and a furniture store, that have been working a matrix theme for the last few years. I sure wish they'd move on.

How are things in your neck of the woods?

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

1. dunno, but the worst radio commercial is toni roberts for las vegas

toni:
'c'mon las vegas is calling!"

me:
"ARGH! MY EARS! high....pitched...whine....destroying...hearing"

[Initech]

2. Not a television comercial but a radio commercial

Actually, a SERIES of commercials. And they get played EVERYWHERE on the radio.

There's this chain of mattress stores in Los Angeles/Orange/Riverside counties called "Sit N Sleep". They have two guys on their commercials who sound WAY more enthusiastic than they probably should, the dialogue sounds like it was written by a three year old, and all of their commercials end with "We'll beat anyone's advertised price or your mattress is FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" (note that when they say "free" that way, picture a guy saying that after he recieves a massive wedgie).

Every time I hear that commercial I feel like this: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[Kathleen04]

7. I've experienced the Sit N' Sleep commercials

There's actually a TV commercial that goes with it, he falls back onto a mattress when he says "FREEEEEEE!"

[Initech]

8. They have TV commercials now?

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

[Kathleen04]

12. Afraid so

Thank god for TiVo. ;)

[Initech]

15. Maybe it's a requirement for mattress stores to have bad commercials

[trackfan]

37. You're killing me, Larry..... n/t

[Democracy White]

3. All the damn local car commercials

and furniture outlets are just horrible...

I also hate the Sleep Doctor commercials, ugh, just stupid as hell.

Dee

[Initech]

13. car commercials suck too

[Kathleen04]

4. We're wacking car prices

left and right. Wack! Come down to Joe Schmoe's auto, get in your car and wack it! :evilgrin:

[vptpt]

5. Allied Discount Tires

Tires ain't pretty! I saw that one all the time growing up in Central Florida. I don't remember the details, just a guy yelling "Alliiiiied Discount Tiiiiiiire!"

[TheCentepedeShoes]

19. I remember that one !

When I lived in Tampa. I think that guy was just some "actor" hired for the commercial, maybe a friend of the owner, didn't have anything to do with the tire company itself. Did you ever see that guy from Tire Kingdom? Crowns and Superman cape? Jeeze, how lame.

[lumberingbear]

25. If I remember right...

he was the guy who owned Behr's Shoe Store in Orlando. He did the commercial for Allied Tire as a favor. (Behr's Shoes had a sign that said they could "fit any human being" and displayed a shoe Shaquille O'Neal wore when he played for the Orlando Magic. The store closed several years ago.) The guy did the voice-over for a Sub shop after that.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. Years ago

There was a guy named Cal Worthington who sold used cars. The voice over would say "Here's Cal Worthington and his dog spot!"...only it was never a dog. It was a bear, a tiger, whatever animal he could afford that day. It would end with a wretched little song that repeatedly told you to "go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal!"

[Kraklen]

11. I remember Cal.

He used to work in the Seattle area before moving down south.

There was another guy in Seattle, Jack Robinson? He used to wear a red shirt with suspenders. He'd shout "I won't be undersold" then beat the shit out of a washing machine with a sledge hammer. I think he died of a massive heart attack.

[Not_Giving_Up]

18. I had no idea he was a traveller

There was also a dealership who had "Don't you BUY no ugly truck" as a slogan. :wtf:

[miss_kitty]

32. actually cal moved north from CA

And Jack Roberts put us all out of our misery by slipping the surly bonds of earth a few years ago.

[kwassa]

28. Cal Worthington and his Dog, Spot!

loved those ads.

[trackfan]

38. This is off the top of my head:

If you wanna get a better set of wheels
I will stand upon my head to make a deal
I will stand upon my head
till my ears are turning red
Go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal.

[Tripper11]

9. I remember the Captain!!!

He used to drive around Vancouver in this little station wagon with a huge flag flying form it all painted up!

I think the past few years he lost a ton of weight...but yeah, I remember those obnoxious commercials.

[Aristus]

10. Anything by Ivar Hagglund.

Ivar was the founder and owner of 'Acres of Clams', a Seattle seafood restaurant, and a chain of fast food joints. He was apparantly a great philanthropist and did some wonderful things for Seattle, but his commercials bit the big baloney!

He starred in most of them before he died. He would read the copy off the cue cards so clumsily and ineptly, eyes moving the whole time, that it was actually sort of endearing. He would also occasionally play his guitar and sing a song that would actually get you up to go eat at his place just to get him to stop!

Ivar Hagglund, R.I.P.

[Kraklen]

14. Those were high quality commercials. Serious.

There were these guys in clam suits running around a race track and as they'd approach the camera they'd be saying IIIIIIIIIIII then as they'd pass: vvvvaaaarrrrrsssss!

[Aristus]

16. Okay, the "I WON'T BE UNDERSOLD" appliance guy was

probably worse. He was just craptastic.

[Cocoa]

17. Eagle Auto Insurance

bimbos hold giant eagle eggs to their chests and say look at these! I guess the eggs have their low rates on them or something like that.

[shawmut]

34. Yes and here it is:

http://www.alldumb.com/item/12479/

[Cocoa]

36. that's some fine acting

those ladies are headed for greatness. :toast:

[Tripper11]

20. OH yeah....here in Seattle we have Vern Fonk

Honk when you drive by Vern Fonk (Insurance sales)


See the vids here!

[Kraklen]

21. I've heard those on the radio driving through.

Weird stuff.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

22. Art Grindle

Used cars. Saw him on TV in Dallas and Houston in the 60's and Tampa in the 70's. Second place - came on just now. Adult bev place called Party Stop - guy get a pie in the face. "Now that's funny," he says (NOT!)

[lpbk2713]

33. I wanta sell you a car!

I remember Art Grindle.

[HEyHEY]

23. ANYTHING out of New BRunswick

[PinkTiger]

24. The new Sonic commercials.

They are creepy, especially the one with the wife and husband and the sweater, "Did your body tell you to wear that sweater?"

Ewwwwwwwww.

[IntravenousDemilo]

26. Detroit's CBS affiliate used to run a spot that made my gorge rise.

"Bill Goodman's Gun and Knife Show" would run during late-night showings of Naked City. There was this hillbilly-soundinif g announcer who would list all the fun weapons you could get there, including, if I remember right, assault weapons. And it would end with this insane banjo-picking and the chorus "Bill Goodman's Gun and Knife Show / Call a buddy, bring a friend".

Yeah, as if I would want anyone who frequents these places as a friend! I live in a country with gun control, and I think the damned things should be banned altogether. Obviously some would disagree. These commercials were one of my first glimpses into a backward culture.

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

27. Toyota of Durham (NC)... aarrrghhh

ack! and the dumb cohort... what was his name? Donald...

Now it's Mark Jacobson Toyota, but still the same annoying commercials.

And here in NYC I can't stand the Empire carpets commercial and the NY lottery commercial.

I also despise all the lawyer (a.k.a. ambulance chasers) commercials that run especially in the morning (Injured? Then call Dewey Cheatum & Howe)

[havocmom]

29. Any of them with 'livin large Bob' and his male enhancements

x(

[kwassa]

30. Who would have thought we could afford a piano, of our own?

this tune is definite earworm material. A piano store in Los Angeles.

[miss_kitty]

31. Any ads where the business owners use their no talent kids to

shill for a product that doesn't really cater to kids. Local car dealerships, Abbey Carpets (those girls' mom must think they're the next Gumm Sisters with the 3 part harmony "You'll love Abbey Car-pets!").

And the former Oak Barn with the kids jumping and yelling in unison "...We'll save you MONEY!" after the spokesmodel guy says "At the Oak Barn..." The Oak Barn going out of business was a just punishment for that travesty.

[bertha katzenengel]

35. Maryland lottery. The talking crabs are RED.

It's a very small state.

[Strawman]

39. Watts Club Mozambique commercials on the Old Channel 62 in Detroit

It was a TV commercial for a strip joint. I don't think I've ever seen a strip joint commercial anywhere else on TV. My sister and I used to love to watch The New Dance Show and somewhere we have a couple episodes recorded. On one of the tapes there is this commerical for Watts Club with an announcer pushing his voice (that sounded like a mix between Barry White and Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget) listing off the names of the dancers as they approach the camera "seductively": "Good & Plenty, Taboo, What Dreams are Made Of, Too Legit to Quit, Zsa Zsa..."

It is in the "so bad, it's great" category. It's priceless really.

I miss the old channel 62. It was a people's station, not some soulless corporate affiliate.

[youspeakmylanguage]

40. A Charlotte, NC classic...

Who: Bill Elliot, NASCAR legend

What: Harrelson Ford local commercial

When: Early 80's, possibly late 70's - back when NASCAR was still lowbrow enough that drivers would appear in local Charlotte commercials.

Where: A sports bar somewhere around Charlotte, NC. A crowd of well wishers and handful of pro athletes discuss the incredible prices and service at Harrelson Ford.

Why: The redneck quote to end all redneck quotes...

"That's AWESOME, BILL!"

...which of course leads to the greatest redneck nickname of all time:

"Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!"

[Saphire]

41. Gallary Furniture Saves...You...Money.