DU Parents: HAAALP! How do you keep a toddler in bed at night???

[Taverner]

OK...little baby Nate...



For some reason, we started taking him to bed with us at night. Don't ask why - I think it had something to do with us being real tired and not wanting to go through the process of putting him to bed at night.

Anyway, he got used to it. Like you may have guessed, taking him to bed with us was a bad idea.

So...we are trying to wean him off this. So we put him in his crib. Only , he's a STRONG kid, and will climb up over the wall of the crib, open the door, and come into our bedroom.

Being as how we don't want him hurting himself while doing the Steve McQueen, we turned his crib into a toddler bed (basically take off the moveable wall.) So now he can climb easily out of bed, and open the door and go into our room.

So last night I camped out in his room, had him go to bed in his crib, and laid there until he was asleep. Of course, an hour after I leave, he wakes up, and comes into our bedroom.

HAAAALP!!! ANy ideas??

My parents used to lock me in my room when I did this - but I think that's a bit cruel....

[JimmyJazz]

1. I have no idea - but, sweetie

you need to resize your pic :(

[Taverner]

2. I did

[JimmyJazz]

16. Thank you - I couldn't read the narrative part of your post.

BTW - Nate's a cutie. :D

[Taverner]

26. Nate Guevara

Art of Guerilla Toddler Warfare...

[LynneSin]

3. I heard duct tape works well....

[TheDebbieDee]

24. LOL !

There ARE millions of uses for duct tape!

[CanuckAmok]

33. wow, that's so "Silence of the Lambs", somehow! n/t

[Ready4Change]

34. Those are wings, not duct tape.

Shes the "Angel of Hardware."

[koopie57]

37. oh oh I have to pee!

[CottonBear]

4. Lock the door to your bedroom?

I have many friends who let their little ones sleep with them and they never got them out of the parental bed until about age 6.
:scared:
My stepdaughter was used to sleeping with her (single) mom and didn't understand why she couldn't sleep with us. It took a lot of explaining to convince her to sleep in her room.

edit: Baby Nate sure is a cutiepie! Good luck!

[Taverner]

8. We tried that

He bangs on the door until we let him in...

[candy]

5. What your folks did may seem cruel to you but you seem to have

turned out okay. You wouldn't be locking him in the room forever,just a few nights ought to do it.

My daughter had to do it with a toddler and the problem was solved----tough,but sanity prevailed for all.

[CitrusLib]

41. I agree...

I never had to do it myself, but my sister did with two of her three boys. With her first, it only took about 3 nights of locking the door before he started sleeping through the night without getting up. With her third son, she locks the door when she puts him to bed, but can unlock it as soon as she's sure he's asleep because he rarely wakes up in the middle of the night.

After a rocky start as an infant (the little bastard woke up every hour to hour and a half for the first 6 months of his life), my son is an awesome kid at bedtime. Some nights he takes himself to bed. Weird kid! He did go through a phase, however, when he needed to have the hall light on in order to settle down and remain in his bed.

Good luck, OP.

[patcox2]

62. I am so glad to see others have had to lock the door.

I was a little ashamed of it. We have to lock him in for time-out, too, he is way defiant.

[candy]

6. Duplicate

[matcom]

7. Tie-Downs

you know like those used to put stuff on the roof of your car.

[MercutioATC]

9. I was going to suggest duct tape.

...same principle, though.

[LynneSin]

11. Excuse me, can't do this with tie-ons, can you?

[Shell Beau]

58. I would go nuts. I am too claustrophobic. Wow, what

duct tape can do!

[bleedingheart]

10. it is a game of persistence...are you or is he?

basically you must keep up the ritual of putting him in his bed....no room for caving...a few nights of crappy sleep for you and you will finally have him understanding this concept.

my little boy was the same...the freedom of a toddler bed allowed him to wander and then he realized ...it is a bed for sleeping.

[Bouncy Ball]

12. Patience.

I can guess, but I'd rather ask--what are the reasons you want him to sleep in his bed now?

Yeah locking him in would be unsafe, too.

What it's going to take is a lot of consistency and patience on your part. Maybe staying in his room until he's asleep (as you did), then taking him back to his bed as many times as it takes during the night, as many nights as it takes. It will take a while. You will be exhausted. But eventually he will stop.

But if you let him stay even one time while you are doing this, you might as well have gone back to square one.

Good luck. Oh keep the talking and whatnot to a minimum in the middle of the night. Just keep it simple, get up, take his hand or him, walk him back, tell him goodnight, maybe pat his back, walk back to your room.

He follows you? Turn around, take him back.

Yeah, it's maddening, but like I said, it will eventually work.

---A Veteran of This

[Taverner]

23. Hmmm I was afraid that was it

We want him to sleep in his bed so we can be, well, like a married couple and do married things :)

The idea of having him sleep with us was a mixture of "he's soooo cute" and "i'm too tired to put him down...just bring him to bed with us..."

[Bouncy Ball]

27. Oh I understand it, believe me.

As our daughter got older, she loved a nice bedtime routine with me talking to her, reading with her, singing, whatever, and that encouraged her to sleep in her own bed.

Problem was, a lot of nights, I would fall asleep in HER bed and my husband would come to wake me up later, with my contacts glued to my eyes and wondering where I was. LOL!

Don't worry, yeah, you'll lose some sleep now (can you trade off nights doing it) but in the long run you will get more sleep.

And remember, this too shall pass. Someday you won't be able to get him OUT of his bed in the mornings.

[LynzM]

55. BB, I second that

And I love your sig pic, I just wanted to tell you that! :)

[MissB]

80. Wise words.

Yeppers. Consistency. It'll work.

[Maddy McCall]

13. My son slept with me until he was 2 1/2

I breastfed him, so it made it much easier on both of us.

Here's how I weaned my son from my bed. I bought him a Little Tikes racecar bed. It was about $100 and his crib mattress fit in it. It's really safe for little ones, because the mattress area is kind of protected by the car's fenders, and it sits so low to the ground.

My son LOVED it and instantly moved from my bed to his own. When we were through with the car bed and he graduated up to a regular bed, we took the matress out of the carbed and made it a toybox.

And I recently sold it at a garage sale for $50, which was a pretty good return.

Here's the car bed--you can get them at ToysRUs.

[El Fuego]

14. I was going to say duct tape too.

After all, duct tape is good for everything.

[Napoleon Dynamite]

15. Haven't you read Mommie Dearest? Joan Crawford knew how

She used to tie Christopher, the brother of Christina who wrote the book, into bed at night and untie him in the morning.

You can read more of my parenting tips here. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3784011&mesg_id=3784036

[naturalselection]

17. My son started climbing out of his crib

when he was 8 mo old! We moved him to his own bed and we had many looooong nights with him getting up, coming to our room.

We just stuck with it. I know that doesn't sound good, but after a couple of weeks, he started sleeping through the night.

I wish I had something more unique.

[Bunny]

18. Put a baby gate on the door to his room. If he gets out of his bed,

he'll still be in his room. He will NOT like this, but it worked for Baby Bunny. Make sure his room is baby-proofed, with maybe a nice comfy pillow on the floor in case he lies down and goes to sleep.

[Bouncy Ball]

19. I thought about that, even tried it.

I would find her asleep right at the foot of it on the floor in the morning. And it bugged me because I wanted her to be able to get to me in an emergency. So I took that down and just escorted her back over and over for several nights until she stopped.

[Pacifist Patriot]

49. We tried that too. Did the escort back to bed thing with our oldest...

for almost four months!

[Bouncy Ball]

52. Yikes.

That's a bit ridiculous.

But at least you unlock the door after they are asleep. I am not cool with leaving it locked all night, nope.

Baby gates are good, too and to block off other parts of the house so they don't go a-wanderin'.

[Pacifist Patriot]

64. My kids were bull dozers...

After awhile there weren't many baby gates they couldn't knock down. Even those bolted into the wall! I am so relieved they are all past that stage now.

I wouldn't leave a door unlocked all night, not for safety concerns but psychologically. I wouldn't want to wake up to a locked door even if I had the means to unlock it. I sleep with my door wide open but that's a personal thing.

[tigereye]

66. that's what we did

my son used to come into the room from the toddler bed and go, BOOOO. He thought it was a hoot. We had to use the baby gate finally.

However, this little guy might be able to climb over.

I myself do not like the door locking thing.

[Pithlet]

20. My 4 year old never did take to his bed

After we moved him from the crib. He still sleeps on the floor in his bedroom. As harsh as that sounds, if that's where he wants to sleep, we let him. He has sensory integration issues as well as other things going on, so our case is special, and his therapist told us not to worry about it.

I think the only thing you can do is continue to redirect him to his bed. You may have to do this for a long time. Eventually he'll stay there, or at least stay in his room like ours did.

[Cary]

21. There is a good book on sleep training.

I don't recall the name of it but I will ask my wife and try to post a link.

Having said that my wife and I tried to do the sleep training, which involves breaking the child of the habit by putting him or her back into bed every time they try to go into your bed. You can also lock them in their room.

What happened with my older daughter is that she broke us, instead. My wife demanded that we take turns putting her back into her bed. I finally told my wife that I wasn't going to do that any more and if she wanted to she could do it by herself--I just wanted to get some sleep.

My older daughther ended up sleeping in our bed with us for over a year and a half. She would tend to go perpendicular, often kicking me in the head.

My younger daughter stays in her bed. Some do--some don't. I guess you're just lucky since yours doesn't, Daddy!

[SmokingJacket]

22. Does he understand the concept of rewards yet?

My sons responded really well to them. I put a little chart on their door, and every time they stayed in bed all night, they'd get a star.

Three stars equals a new Thomas train, or something. You can manipulate the rewards -- say at first the prize comes if they stay in bed just one night, or until the sun comes up, or something.

Oooh, and this ones a bit harsh, but it worked when nothing else did: get them a special toy they can have when they're in bed, but they lose it when they get up. It usually only took warnings:

"Kiddo, if you get out of bed again, Mr. Moonface will have to sleep with Mommy tonight, and not you. I think he wants to sleep with you, so PLEASE don't get out of bed again!!"

[TXlib]

25. Lock him in his room

It's not cruel.

The alternative is him wandering around at night, possibly hurting himself.

[Bouncy Ball]

31. Or the alternative is he's locked in his room in an emergency

and can't get out.

I think locking them in their room is unsafe. I never wanted my child to not be able to get to me in the middle of the night in case of emergency (sick, etc.).

And bad dreams, too. Those can terrify a kid. Then finding yourself locked in your room? :scared:

If there are worries about wandering around the house, simply put up a baby gate at the end of the hallway and shut other hallway doors (put those doorknob thingies on them so they can't open them). Then the only way the kid CAN go is the master bedroom.

I hear what you're saying, I'm just distinctly uncomfortable with the safety aspect of locking them in their room. Even a baby gate would be better.

[TXlib]

36. A toddler's not getting out in an emergency, anyway.

At any rate, I'm assuming you would lock the door until you go to bed, then unlock it. The point is simply so the kid doesn't keep walking out while he's supposed to be falling asleep.

And after a few weeks, you may not have to do it any more.

[Bouncy Ball]

39. I was just never comfortable with it.

I baby-gated the entrance to the rest of the house, closed the other doors and left my bedroom as the only place she could go. But it's an individual decision, I guess. I just wanted to give an alternate point of view, that's all.

Unlocking it after they are asleep is good, too, but that doesn't remove the concern you had about them wandering around the house. A baby gate at the end of the hallway would fix that.

[AngryAmish]

46. The only emergency could be a fire

In a fire toddlers and small children don't run out. They hide under beds or in closets.

[Pacifist Patriot]

47. In an emergency a child that young is going to have to be rescued.

We're not talking about 3-4 year old toddlers, but 1-2 year olds.

[ihaveaquestion]

28. Don't make a big deal out of this. He'll grow out of it - eventually.

Your instincts are right-on. Lie down with him until he falls asleep and if he gets up, your could let him into your bed for a short time and then take him back to his bed and lie down with him again. It is cruel to lock him in or lock your own door. He'll feel abandoned which is a common fear of toddlers anyway. He needs comforting - that's all.

My experience with this comes from nursing both my kids until they were over 1 yr old (they're 22 and 26 now). They often ended up in bed with me and we'd fall asleep together. Later we'd carry them to their own bed and if they woke up, stay with them until they slept. We never made a big deal out of their coming into our bed for comfort and I think that had a lot to do with how little they fought bedtime when they were older. After the age of 3, my daughter would often go up to bed on her own at 8pm or so because she was tired. My son was a natural night owl (still is) and he never wanted to go to bed, but he didn't fight it much. It just wasn't an issue between us.

Just try not to fret or make a big deal out of this. Imagine for a moment that he's 8 years old or so. You probably don't imagine that he'll still be wanting to sleep with you. He'll have other priorities.

Good Luck.

[Montauk6]

29. We've had to bring our 2-year-old back into our room

Her room unfortunately got infested with these wee, little pigeon mites, so we're in the process of cleaning it out.

I'm actually confident that we'll get her back into her room because it's not easy with us because her baby sister cries a lot at night, and I know she misses hearing her sleeptime CD, which brings me to how we got her on the indy track.

1. We bought her a twin bed (not a toddler twin but a regular one), so she'll (hopefully) be using this for the next few years.

2. We have a speaker hooked up in her room so she can hear her CDs of her favorite quiet time tunes (e.g. "So Long, Farewell," "Theme to Law & Order," "DO-RE-MI," "It's Not Easy Bein' Green," "Truly Scrumptious," medieval chants, etc.)

3. We recite her favorite bedtime stories ("Three Little Pigs" or "Too Much Noise")

4. Sometimes we can get away with "we're just in the other room, you're safe."

It's worked out well (at least prior to the invasion!).

[lavenderdiva]

30. I highly recommend both books by Tracy Hogg

'The Baby Whisperer', and 'The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers'. I gave these to my best friend who had a child who would just not sleep thru the night. She read them, and within a week or so her daughter was sleeping through the night, in her own room!

on edit: being consistent is KEY. It may be tiring at first, but once you create a routine, and are consistently consistent (!) about it, your child will develop a regular sleep pattern.

[caty]

32. Lock the door.

When my son was 18 mos. old I woke up in the middle of the night. I laid there but didn't hear anything-- but knew something had caused me to wake up. Thank god, I got up to check. I found my son sitting on the center of the kitchen stove with all four burners on high. I rushed over, turned the burners off, and picked him up. He had taken his pajamas off before he did this and I think that saved him from getting burned. He was unharmed but I was a wreck. We started locking his door after that and later put up a dutch door so that just the bottom would be closed and locked. A small child wandering around the house unsupervised can find all kinds of danger.

[mongo]

35. You just have to stand firm

and put him back in his bed every time he gets up.

He's a bit young, but bribery works well too. Have something planned for the next day that can be taken away if he is not good.

My biggest problem was getting my daughter to go to bed in the first place. We had the routine set so that if she was good, I'd read 2 books to her. If she gave us a hard time when it was time to get ready for bed, a threat of only one book was sufficient after a while - but it took some testing of wills and a few nights without any reading.

You just have to be calm, firm and strong. I feel for ya. But I can't stress how important it is to get your toddler under control at this stage of the game - unless you want to end up on one of the nanny shows.

[Love Bug]

38. My grandson would do this

My daughter put one of those doorhandle things on the inside of his door so he couldn't work the handle to open it. Worked pretty good. He now sleeps in his "big boy bed" just fine.

[Midlodemocrat]

40. I feel your pain.

Hubby and I would love not to have had kids in our bed for as long as we did, but I just couldn't let them cry it out.

Take heart, this too, shall pass.

[Bouncy Ball]

42. Ours is 10 and has slept in her own bed since she was

an older infant and sometimes to this day asks why her dad and I get to sleep with someone else, but she has to go to bed alone.

She's an only child and it does seem sort of sad sometimes and I have to admit, I can see how it wouldn't seem fair to her. I have someone to snuggle up to, someone next to me and she's alone. (Her way of thinking, other dimensions don't really play into it for her as they do for us, LOL.)

So sometimes on the weekends she'll make a pallet in our room and sleep at the foot of our bed (not big enough for the three of us to all be in it) and she loves that.

But even that will end eventually. I can't imagine her doing that as a 15 year old!

[Midlodemocrat]

45. Don't bet on it.

My 15yo still joins me sometimes when my husband is traveling.

[Bouncy Ball]

48. That wouldn't bother me.

:hi:

In other cultures they all sleep in the same room, so whatever!

[Midlodemocrat]

51. It doesn't bother me either.

Unless I don't notice her and get the shit scared out of me by her flailing arms or legs.

Actually, all of my kids at one time or another ended up in bed with us. I really didn't mind at all.

My 3yo niece was here for 10 days and slept with us. It was really nice to have a baby in the house again. She was so cute to cuddle with and I loved watching her sleep.

:hi:

[Bouncy Ball]

53. We went on a big camping trip last summer (16 nights)

and my daughter and I shared the same full sized air mattress and sleeping bags every night and we kept each other warm! (High desert.)

Another advantage, LOL!

[tigereye]

67. my son is an only too

and wonders why he has no company at night! I told him that some day, when he is in college or married, he will have someone to sleep with too. :)

[lizzieforkerry]

43. We had this problem...

I never wanted to lock his door because I was always afraid that there would be a fire and it takes me forever to get our doors unlocked with that stupid little key...I'm paranoid.

I started a bedtime routine where he would go potty, brush his teeth and pick out 5 toys that he wanted to take to bed with him. We would tuck the toys in, give them kisses and then read a book together, I would then lay dawn with him until he fell asleep. When he came into our room I would immediately carry him back to his room and he had to pick out a toy to go in time-out because he didn't stay in his bed- this was all explained to him earlier. He would get the toy back the first morning he stayed in his bed all night. After a few nights I would start leaving the bed earlier and earlier, saying I had to go potty and that I would be back, until finally I just sat on the bed read him a story and talked about his day for a few minutes and he would go to sleep on his own. When he decided he wanted his toys back he slept through the night. I was tired for about a week and a half but it was very worth it since I no longer have compete for bed real estate. He seemed to accept the new arrangement without any psychological harm and now babysitters and grandparents all tell me they can't believe how easy it is to put him to sleep. Every once in a while he will come downstairs after we tuck him in and we make him pick out a toy for time-out unless he is really sick or is having a legitimate problem. Good luck!

[Pacifist Patriot]

44. I was you! Are you in a position to make a dutch door?

You can lock the bottom and leave the top open. No worse than having a baby gate. We weren't able to do that, but it's an option.

I have extremely large and physically adept children. They were all out of cribs before they were supposed to be out of cribs. Which made things tough.

Personally, I don't have anything against co-sleeping but I can see why it would get troublesome. My almost five year old still crawls into my bed in the middle of the night more often than not. I'm a deep sleeper so I don't even notice until morning and I have a king size bed so... Fortunately, he falls asleep in his own bed at bedtime and that's what counts.

As for locking the bedroom door, it depends upon how you do that. I would never lock a child in a room and then trot on off to bed myself. We had to lock the door with two out of three of our children or else we were literally returning the child to bed for three to four straight hours. One night we went from 7 PM to midnight! We had reached our limit.

It's one thing to use a ticket system or some other such thing with a three or four year old, but 18-36 months isn't going to quite get it. As long as the room is child-proofed I see no problem with the following technique.

Establish a VERY predictable bedtime routine and stick with it.

i.e.

bath
snack
brush teeth
three books
three songs
count out loud together to ten
do a predictable kiss routine: i.e. kiss his forehead, chin and both cheeks
blow a kiss while you turn off the light
Say goodnight
Close the door and lock it.

If the child screams, go back at 5 minutes, then a 10 minute interval, then a 15 minute interval.

When you know the child is asleep, unlock the door so he can get out during the night if he needs you.

It's hard for about the first week but they really do learn pretty quickly. The key is the routine!

Anyone who thinks this is cruel must have a problem with baby gates and cribs too. It's a matter of restraint not deprivation. As I said, I would never do this over night or with an older child.

ETA: I almost make sure the rest of the house is childproofed should the toddler come pay an unexpected visit in the middle of the night. Gate off unsafe areas and make sure house exits are secure.

[Kraklen]

50. Tell him a monster lives under your bed.

The onyl safe place in the house is his bed.

[LynzM]

54. It'll cost you a few nights of sleep, but....

EVERY SINGLE TIME he gets out of bed, put him back. EVERY time. Tell him that it is nighttime, and at night, we stay in bed and sleep. Stay or leave, up to you, whatever is 'normal' for putting him to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. Toddlers are very much about predictibility. Hopefully, once he learns that it is not ok to keep coming into your room, it will stop. We did it with our daughter in the the same room as us but in her own bed, and it did work, but it was a long few nights to get there. Ah.... toddlers :hug:

[Pacifist Patriot]

68. I am so jealous of parents who can make that work.

I must have particularly stubborn children. Well, 2 out of my 3. Third time's a charm and this toddler is a dream. But the first two? Oy vey! One Saturday night we tried this for as long as we could stand it and went five hours putting him back to bed. And this after having a religiously consistent bedtime ritual for months. Ah, the strong-willed child. A joy! ;)

[LynzM]

72. Tell you what

Our daughter was 2+ before bedtime stopped being a struggle, anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, every night. She would poke herself in the eyes, pull her own hair, anything to stay awake. Crying-it-out resulted in vomitting (not going there more than once, thanks). Bedtime was a huge struggle for just over 2 years, and then one day, she just decided "hey, this bedtime thing's not so bad, after all". :crazy: I don't really know what made the difference. Luckily, the putting her back to bed thing did work. I have a friend who counted with her son, and it took 173 trips to bed one night. Oh. My. God. That's too many for me. Maybe I should introduce you guys! :)

[Pacifist Patriot]

75. 173, now that sounds more like it!

I sympathize with your friend.

It is nice when bedtime ceases to be a struggle isn't it? My 8 year old now announces that he is going to bed, gives us a hug and a kiss and disappears until morning.

Of course, then we get the teenage years when we wonder if they will ever get out of their beds. LOL!

[4_Legs_Good]

56. I've been through this with my 3 year old...

He's 3 now, that is.

How old is your son?

Mine is Nathan too, so that's probably it.

Anyway, the above poster was right, that every time he gets out of bed you have to get up and take him back to bed. I would often spend lots of time in my son's bed with him (he never did a toddler bed - he went straight from a crib to a twin mattress on the floor. how he's got an elevated fun type bed.

Anyway, he'd get up and try to climb into bed with us. I would pick him up, take him to his room, put him to bed, get in bed with him and fall asleep for about an hour and then get up when I woke up and walk back to my bed and crash. It's annoying, but it does start the process. By being with him in his room, it helps him feel better about his bed not being alien from you two.

OH, and be sure to give him a lot of praise for nights that he sleeps completely in his room!! And maybe throw a little of the old parental guilt his way when he wakes you up - "ooooh Nate I'm SOOOOO sleepy. Adults need to sleep a lot."

My son still gets up maybe once a night if he's had a bad dream, and I have to walk him back to his room and put him back in his bed and then lay down on the beanbag for 15 minutes or so while he falls back asleep.

Now my biggest problem is that he won't go to sleep on his own, so every night when I put him to bed I have to stay in the room with him until he falls asleep or until I can sneak out without him noticing, which means I'm trapped unitl at least 9:30 every night, which pretty much kills any "free" time I have. That's the next habit I have to break, but it's gonna be tough. Plus his 3 month old brother is starting to sleep in the crib in his room, so that adds another level of difficulty.

Good luck!!!

david

[Shell Beau]

57. What a cutie!

[SCDem]

59. Create a bedtime routine

I used to let my son fall asleep in my arms while I watched Jim Lehrer news hour.... but at 14 months he got a bit big and transporting him back and forth was waking him up. And I have to admit I was letting him fall asleep in my arms because I didn't want to miss the news. Heck with all of the news.

After brushing his teeth we go to his room... wave night night to the fish hanging from his ceiling... say night night to SC on his map and grandma in CA on his map, night night to his dogs on the walls above his bed and then we lay down on the bed with a book... he cries a little but they are crocodile "I don't want to miss anything that happens ever so I'm going to stay up forever" cries. I read a book - usually Goodnight Gorilla and then I sing 3 songs to him and then I get up to leave. He does cry a bit when I leave but again the "I don't want to miss anything that happens ever so I'm going to stay up forever" cries and they last no longer than 30 seconds. I still don't like those cries that he does but he is asleep in a minute flat and sleeps all through the night.

When I first started this routine I was gentler and would slowly scoot myself off the bed and wait till he fell asleep then left. Just took a little time to get him used to it that's all.

[LeftyMom]

60. Can you put the toddler bed in your room temporarily?

If you can get him used to sleeping in his own bed near yours, then move it accross the room, then back to his room, that might work.

[patcox2]

61. Your screwed, he's used to it now.

My wife, who had a kid before our kid, taught me; you put them to bed and establish that as a routint. If they get up in the night and appear in your room (which is cute when it happens) you have to make them walk back to their room by themselves and put themselves back to bed, and never let them stay in your bed with you, its very addicting to them. If you even make a big comforting thing about walking with them and putting them back to bed, they'll expect you to do that every night.

Its hard, my boy is so adorable when he is half asleep and scared by the thunder, but otherwise you will not get much sleep.

[Dora]

63. Buy the Ferber book

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, or something like that is the title.

I just picked up a copy at Half-Price Books because I knew I was setting up my six-month old son with some troublesome sleep habits.

He has a section on toddlers leaving their beds.

Good luck!

[progmom]

65. this sounds so familiar

:hug:

good luck.

[barb162]

69. Nate's expression shows he definitely doesn't want to stay in bed

Is that an "oh yeah?" look or what

[Whoa_Nelly]

70. Routine, routine, routine

It may take only a few days, or it may take a few weeks, but create an expected routine, and follow through each and every evening. Sure, you'll have to give up things like going out to eat, to movies for a while, but if you want the routine to change (your previous routine of allowing him to sleep with you), then you have to introduce the routine you want now.

Start at dinnertime being same time every night. Follow with your choice of a couple of activities or rituals that lead up to bedtime (playing and a bath, a walk outdoors...things like that.)
When it's about 1/2 hour before the time you want him in bed, it's time to have him help you get his 'jamas, help to put them on, then have him pick all the books he wants you to read to him. Eventually you can cut down the number of books and let him "read" to himself to fall asleep (I read to my son every night until he was twelve...it was our special time together to talk, joke, be silly and to listen)
Also it's important to pick a time when you want him to get up in the morning.

Hope you're also having him take scheduled naps. Routine makes for less tantrums and good health when it comes to the rest babies need to grow.
Good Luck!

PS The amount of TV time he has daily can make a difference as well. Don't know your choices regarding that, but having been a mom, and now a grandmom, as well as a retired educator, can state that more than 3 hours a day for a toddler is more than enough.

[azoth]

71. Get a kid gate - a good one - and

latch it to the inside of the door frame, so you can still close the door. Since he's pretty strong, you might want to get one of the ones like this:

http://www.babyage.com/i_2517_cp_sh2517_8619_north_stat...

We have one identical to that at the top of our stairs and neither of ours have been able to push through it (they're 3 and 5, btw).

It has mounting brackets and the gate locks into position - he won't be able to push it over and it may stop him long enough for you to teach him to stay in his bed. Of course, that'll take a lot of talking and patience.

Good luck!!

[unsavedtrash]

73. had to put two on my nieces door-she was a climber. Worked perfectly and

could still hear her if she needed anything in the night.

[azoth]

74. My niece has two on her dd's door as well. She was a climber. :)

[Squatch]

76. Handcuffs.

[yellowdogintexas]

77. My daughter's first sentence was "Never Go to Bed", so who am

I to give advice?

It wasn't so much about being in our bed as just NOT being in her bed.

I found her asleep in her closet on a pile of pillows, in her laundry basket, inside the cardboard box castle her dad made her from Tupperware crates, on the sofa, on the floor in theliving room.

The closet was the funniest one, she built herself a rather luxurious pile of stuff to sleep on, and tucked herself back into the far reaches of her closet. It took me a while to find her, too.

[cally]

78. We gave up and

just allowed them to sleep on the floor in our room. I tried the take them back to bed routine but invariably one of them would sneak in and I wouldn't wake up and I'd find them in our bed in the morning. We eventually insisted they sleep on the floor. Our idea was that it would be uncomfortable and they would sleep in their own bed. It lasted for years. Still, they didn't come in until 3 or so in the morning and didn't wake us up. I was a failure at all the sleep training stuff.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

79. When my oldest nephew was two, his parents left him at my mom's

house while I was visiting. They warned her that he always fought going to bed.

Well, my mom the kindergarten teacher and mother of three was not intimidated. She first told him that we (her, my stepfather, and me) were all going to get our jammies on. So we did. Then it was time for hot milk and a look at the pictures in the latest National Geographic. Then my mom said, "Well, now Grandma's tired, and so is Grandpa."

"And I'm tired, too," I added, seeing where this was going.

I was sleeping on a convertible sofa, so we made a big deal of getting my bed ready.

Gradually, we had the whole house dark except for the room where he was sleeping. He made some mumbled protests about not wanting to go to bed, but my mom said, "We're all going to sleep. You'll just be walking around by yourself in the dark if you don't."

What could he do?

[KitchenWitch]

81. ...

5 point restraints...just kidding. I think you just have to be firm...tell him to go back to bed every time he gets up.

[Floogeldy]

82. Let this be a lesson to all of you.

:o

[ElsewheresDaughter]

83. this worked for us....

[uppityperson]

84. Eventually he will quit.

Mine stopped hopping in early in the morning (5 am) when he was 8. Quit doing "good morning" visits at 12.

Keep returning him to his bed. Bribes perhaps. Figure out if you can sleep with him in your room or not. People used to be concerned that my spouse and I would not have enough "private time" but hey, sex doesn't take up that much of my night. We ended up with a kid-nest on the floor for child to sleep in, and found we could sleep with a small person in bed with no problem. Realize that a lot of this is cultural. Many cultures have a group sleeping bed, share beds, is considered normal.

Good luck. He looks like a sweety.

[TK421]

85. Have you tried barbed wire across the bedroom door?

I know, I know....the stuff hurts, but at least they know not to cross that boundary.