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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:27 PM
Original message
Equal Time (creationist joke)
Ovulation versus cretinism

Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork.



(Original version by Erkki Aalto, Dept. of Obstetrics, Gynaecology and Stork Science, University of Helsinki)

(English version by Jopi Louko, Institute of Stork Research, University of Alberta)
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Goldmund Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. Right on
:rofl:
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Ready4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. I question your dismissal of the "Cabbage Patch" theory.
I feel it's just as valid as these other so-called theories. I demand it be presented to school children as well.

;)
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Joe_VB Donating Member (336 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
3. That was good....Thanks redqueen!
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. My pleasure.
:)

(a little shameless kick for the night crew)
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MercutioATC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
4. You're completely wrong, you know.
I pray that you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

http://venganza.org/
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Hahahaha...
I love the flying spaghetti monster! :D
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MercutioATC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I just got the "WWFSMD?" golf shirt...
Edited on Thu Aug-04-05 12:43 PM by MercutioATC
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Reverend_Smitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. That is one of the funniest sites I've seen in a long time
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster They even have an overview of the whole religion now.

Worshiping spaghetti and dressing like a pirate...now that's a religion I can get behind!
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jilln Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
5. haha, cretinism...
on purpose or a freudian slip?
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. I think it's on purpose... it's too perfect.
:D
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
10. Oh please
Everybody knows a woman becomes pregnant by swallowing a man's totem. Read "Clan of the Cave Bear"--it's all right there!
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