My cousins' kids don't respect my authority

[Merrick]

Just got back from a trip to Tennessee for a memorial for an aunt of mine who died a few months ago. Lots of family were there, including my cousin from London and her 2 girls (ages 8 and 10) and another cousin and her 8 yr old girl. All really good kids who I really like, but Christ, could they give any less of a crap about me as an older authority figure. On the contrary, undoubtedly because I'm youngish (28) and do enjoy playing around with them some, when they do start going completely off the apeshit dial and I say no, its completely worthless.

Case in point: One day the ladies asked me if I wanted to go with them into town on an underwear shopping expedition. Without thinking, I allowed my natural instinct (which is quite averse to 2 hr knicker shopping trips) to have my mouth say 'no thanks'. Big mistake. This left me alone in a house with these three hellians and my uncle (who besides being busy with something is 80 yrs old). Within 30 minutes of minding my own business reading a book on the couch, the first of the three demonspawn comes in, jumps on me and commences pummeling me, calling me an "Evil Old Toad". This then attracts the others, who, amongst other things, start trying to pull my pants down while screaming at the top of their lungs as I fight my way to the bathroom where I spent 30 minutes locked in as their hostage (the older, smarter one didnt let the others fall for my ruse that I was going to escape through the window which was much to small for me to fit through) before bolting for the outdoors, where I spent the next 20 minutes riding a bike in circles around my uncle's blueberry patch with these three little munchikins nipping at my heels until their mom returned to rescue me.

Then MY mother (their great aunt) gives me the whole "If you were just more firm with them they'd obey you" rap. What a load. Personally, considering my relation to them, I think I have the choice of being cold and strict with them all the time or tolerating these kinds of ordeals from time to time until they grow up a bit.

And it WAS the best exercise I got during the trip.

[johnnie]

1. These kids today!

I sympathize with you. I have some nephews and a niece who can get to me here and there. I have it under control these days, but once in a while they can be a pain.
They are under the impression that I am always grumpy, but what they don't know is that it is just an act to keep them from pissing me off.

[jobycom]

2. Wow. That's funny and annoying at the same time!

I went through that with my niece, actually. Her parents are worthless alcoholics, so my parents were raising her. She'd had no real discipline. Because I felt sorry for her, I tried hard to amuse her on her level. She took that as an invitation to become my best friend.

I finally had one day where I basically buried her. I put her in time out and stuck with the adult act until she complied. I had the added advantage that I was supposed to take her and my daughters somewhere, and I told her she couldn't go unless she sat in time out.

She cried, and frankly it broke my heart to see the wall that popped up between us. After that, though, we went back to being friends, but she respected my space better.

Anyway, I feel for you. Your nephews are worse than my niece, from the sound of it. They are just trying to get your attention, obviously, and they like feeling grown-up enough to pound on a grown-up. Good luck.

[Pithlet]

5. I can remember how shocking it was

when a beloved adult who was normally very laid back suddenly had enough and laid down the law. This thread and your post made me remember that :)

[rucky]

3. Sounds like you're one of the gang

but did you have fun?

[Merrick]

9. Yeah, and the 2 from London are usually much better

behaved. The other (who I'd never met before this) acted as sort of a trigger. They're good kids. Really smart too (the ones from London are anyway - the other, who is home schooled by my Georgian fundie cousin, is 8 and needed help reading the menu at a restaurant we went to Friday - surprise, surprise)

[roguevalley]

4. kids are my specialty. if you had laid down the law, they would have

in all likelihood obeyed. Kids do a lot of what they do exploring the limits with everyone they meet. if they are allowed to know what they are early on, they will be happy and respond no matter what they say out loud.

[cornermouse]

6. Aww, they love you.

[Merrick]

7. Later that night...

They busied themselves composing some rather unflattering stories complete with caricatures about me. One was about my uncles two dogs daring one another to sit next to me for a whole minute seeing as though nobody had ever survived doing so on account of my horrible stench. One of the dogs tried, passed out after 5 seconds and spent 6 months recuperating in the hospital. The picture that accompanied it depicted me as some sort of snorkel headed fat clown detective. Pretty creative stuff.

[Reverend_Smitty]

8. My cousins think I am just a really grumpy person

I'm 21 now and they are much younger, the oldest being 9. Well I was always babysitting them and they see me as an authority figure more than a playmate. I've been called no fun Kel on more than one occasion, in fact they get away with more when they are with my father than me