Do men and women cheat for different reasons?

[Kalish]

Or is it pretty much the same, in most instances, when you get right down to it?

There's a bit of 'common knowledge' I've read in magazines that women cheat when they feel ignored, neglected, etc...while men do it for more superficial reasons.

While I'm sure that's the case at times, I don't think it would hold up as a general rule upon close inspection.

But then, what do I really know?

[sniffa]

1. men have to spread their seed

women have to find the most potent seed (usuaLLy, the man Left standing after a head-ramming rituaL).

[Kalish]

3. but it's not always

done for procreation.

and 'potent' is a relative term...

[NNadir]

2. I have no idea. I've never cheated nor have I been cheated on.

[napi21]

4. I think, in most cases, they do.

I can only speak from the female side, but sttention, common agreement on a lot of things, and just spending a lot of time together accounts for most 'work related" affairs.

[skygazer]

5. I think often the reasons boil down to the same thing

Most men I know who have cheated have done so because the woman they cheated with made them feel wanted and desirable. Vanity, in other words. Even if the woman they were with made them feel that way, it stroked their ego to have another woman come on to them.

Women I've known who cheated were similar in that the man they ended up with made THEM feel wanted and desirable. Some of them may have felt something was missing in their primary relationship but I don't think all of them did. I think with most people there's a gut response when someone treats you as if you're special and as if they want you.

I don't really know - I suspect there's more to it than that. I suspect there are underlying self esteem issues in a lot of cases - people who feel a need to prove something to themselves.

[Kalish]

6. what do you think of the notion

that we, both men and women, are 'hard-wird' to have affairs?

[skygazer]

7. I don't think people are naturally monogamous, if that's what you mean

Most species aren't though there are some who mate for life. It simply makes good sense for any species to spread the DNA around. Monogamy is, I think, more of a cultural thing than a genetic thing.

That doesn't excuse affairs, however (IMO). We are a thinking, reasoning creature so if a person promises fidelity and then fails to live up to it, they are at fault.