Hollywood films of classic novels that really, really cry for sequels!

[jobycom]

Les Miserables, Deux: Revenge of Jauvert. (In which Jean Valjean returns with no memory and is hunted by Jauvert, who has washed downstream, been rescued by a wandering samuri (Jet Li), and learned new tricks.)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame II... No wait, Disney did that.

Peter Pan II: The Return to Neverland... No, wait. Disney.

The Second Last of the Mohicans. (Same script as the first one. Who would notice anyway?)

The Lesser Gatsby. (Jay's younger brother seeks revenge on those who brought his brother down. Meanwhile, Daisy has met a wandering Samuri (Jackie Chan) who teaches her a few new tricks.)

The Sun Also Comes Back Up. (Jake gets a groundbreaking operation, thus the title. He decides to hunt Tyrone Powers and the director who ruined the ending in the 1957 film of the movie. It's a sort of deconstructionist/softcore porn film.)

The Lord of The Bracelet. (Peter Jackson directs another sixty-five hours of film.)

Hamlet II (Just more swordfighting. Probably stars Russel Crowe, who wins another Oscar. Yeah, so, he died in the first one. If they can make a sequel to Planet of the Apes after Charleton Heston blows up the world, they can do anything).

Pitcher in the Corn. (Some adult slaps Holden Caulfield silly and makes him quit whining.)

[davidinalameda]

1. do we really need a sequel to Mohicans

that is one of the worst books ever written and the movie with Daniel Day Lewis was worse than the book

:puke:

[jobycom]

2. Absolutely, and because of the reasons you state.

This is Hollywood. They live for bad scripts.

[I Know How To Do it]

3. Passion of the Christ sequel would rock!

[jobycom]

4. That would be tricky scriptwriting. Trying to stay true to the original

while still creating a new, meaningful story.

The sequel needs more sex, though.

[Deep13]

5. Here's mine

The Second War of the Worlds- Reparations and cruel peace terms ruin Mars causing a charismatic, but insane ruler to become dictator of the Martians. Bent on revenge, he launches another assault on Earth.

Moby Dick II: Ishmael's Revenge

Excalibur II: Distaught by Arthur's death, Percival quests for the Holy Revolver. He finds it stuck in a rock with the instription: "Whoso pulleth this gun for all to see shall be a badass yessirree." Armed with the 0.357 of destiny, granola bars and a case of Chivas, Percy hunts down and kills all of Arthur's enemies except for Morgana because she is an amazing piece of ass.

Edgar Rice Burough's Tarzan, Lord of Wall Street. After cornering the market in orange juice commodities, Greystoke climbs to the NYSE balcony for his trademark yell.

Shogun II: Cram School Years

The Boring Angels, a Sequel to The Killer Angels. Gettysburg veterans in their old age tell stories about the Civil War that bore the living shit out of their grandchildren.

Another Day, Gone with the Wind II: Three hours of unpleasant people bickering while fondly remembering slavery.

[Sequoia]

6. Thanks for the hearty morning laugh!

Loved the: The Sun Also Comes Back Up, and The Second Last of the Mohicans!!

[BigMcLargehuge]

7. I have a few

The Count of Monte Cristo 2: With a Side of Fries - Edmund Dantes, now comfortable with his revenge against those who wronged him, moves to Montreal and opens a kiosk selling grilled ham and cheese sandwiches on raisin bread.

MacBethagain: The ghosts of MacBeth and Banquo join forces to battle the evil king Duncan for supremacy of the afterworld.

Of Mice and Men 2: King of the Rats. Saved from death by a wandering voodoo priest, Lenny is resurrected from the pauper's grave, and with his newfound friend, a giant white rat, leads an army of vermin on a quest for revenge against George and Curly.

Dangerous Liaisons 2: Skatepark Showdown. Marie Tourvelle falls through a hole in time to modern day Malibu and becomes a pro skateboarder.