Newsweek: How to survive a bear attack. 1. Never surprise a bear. 2...

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8769546/site/newsweek/

Never surprise a bear. Like humans, they use trails and roads, so don't set up camp near either one. If possible, travel with a group and make plenty of noise.

Avoid attracting them. Cook away from your tent and wash all dishes. Store your food in airtight or specially designed bearproof containers. If these aren't available, carefully hang food from a tree limb at least 20 feet up and four feet out.

Back away. If a bear comes close, let it know you are human by talking to it in a calm voice and waving your arms. Try to back away diagonally, but if the bear follows you, hold your ground. Raise your voice or bang pots and pans, but never imitate bear sounds or make a high-pitched squeal.

Play dead. If attacked, fall to the ground, lie flat on your stomach or curl up in a ball, protecting your face and neck. Remain motionless for as long as possible.

[AndyP]

1. I'll try to remember all of that

when a Bear the size of a car is trying to eat my face.

[Demoiselle]

2. Stupid Yellowstone Tourist Story:

A few years ago, a Montana native (owner of a wonderful dude ranch in the mountains south of Livingston) swore to me that a tourist/parental unit visiting Yellowstone posed his little kid for a photo and smeared jam on the kid's face in hopes of attracting a nearby black bear for a cute kissy-face pic.
Could be legend, I guess.

[MissB]

19. It wouldn't surprise me at all, frankly.

When we travelled through Yellowstone, we saw people getting as close as they could to the wildlife, despite being told multiple times in multiple places not to do so.

[sasquatch]

3. Uh-oh, that's a cub so you better look out for momma

[Floogeldy]

4. THE scariest animal in the world.

They terrify me.

[roguevalley]

13. Yeah. We're running over with bears here. Lots of stupid stuff and

people getting killed. Some asshole gut shot a big sow up here with three cubs and it took her two days to die in agony. She was a good bear, didn't harm anyone. I can't emphasize this enough. I am SICK
about her death. Sometimes I loathe people.

[trof]

5. And NEVER give yourself a honey facial

while camping out.
;-)

[Spinzonner]

6. ISn't there a quick-spray bear repellant you can carry ?

[Floogeldy]

7. Yes, but it bearly works.

:o

[Spinzonner]

8. That was an ursinine remark

[gizmo1979]

14. That was a knee slapper.

:hi:

[two gun sid]

9. Bears are the coolest. I love seeing them. I give them...

a healthy amount of respect.

[CanuckAmok]

12. 4. never play poker with a Black Bear.

note the "straight face".

[CanuckAmok]

10. 3. let the bear play-through.

n/t

[Spinzonner]

11. Try and get him to hit into a bear trap

[achtung_circus]

15. Play dead or fight.

IIRC you are supposed to play dead if a black bear catches you and fight like hell against a grizzly.

or vice-versa.

[Ellipsis]

18. Yeah Vice versa

Don't play dead with a black bear.

[alarimer]

16. Ho do you get your food 20 feet up in a tree??

I don't take a ladder when I go camping.

[petronius]

17. It's pretty hard to do correctly

and probably won't work unless the bears haven't seen it before. The article is partly wrong - 4' from the trunk will definitely not work. Here is an illustration...