Are there any men who have had a sexist remark ..........

[Crazy Guggenheim]

made to them either by a male or female? What did you say you say and how did you react?

I'm referring to anything other than the usual kidding, even here.

Here's an example. I had a gf who was actually quite liberated in many ways, but she occasionally would make generalized statements about men; more along the lines of "social rigidness" about men are supposed to do xyz and women are supposed to do abc. I thought it was sexist and I set her straight. lol.

Anyways have any of the men here encountered sexism?

[Droopy]

1. Quick! Edit!

I'm sure you are not trying to start a flame war.

[Susang]

2. Yum!

:popcorn:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

4. Hot enough to pop popcorn ........

[Susang]

9. Yessir, it sure is!

Or, it will be! :hide:

[Bat Boy]

20. I brought the butter.

Not for the popcorn, but still...

[Akoto]

3. Well, don't know if it counts as sexism ...

But, as I'd mentioned in another thread, I've had more than one person tell me that I should cut my hair short because long hair is for women. :P

I've got a really long braid. Goes all the way down my back!

[rene moon]

5. That's dumb!

Because looking/being a woman is a bad thing!

Assholes!

[Crazy Guggenheim]

8. It goes the other way too. It's mainly sexism.

[VelmaD]

6. Well, this woman thinks...

guys with really long hair ROCK!

My hair is almost to my waist and the two times I've been involved with guys with hair that long or longer...it has made for endless amounts of laughter and amusement as we tried to work around it at times. :)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

7. I'm a short haired guy. Above the ears etc, have it cut once a

month, but how long did it you to grow that? Lots of maintenance too?

[Akoto]

10. Well ...

I have had long hair for a really long time, so I couldn't really tell you how long it'd take to grow it to my length. People (the ones who aren't telling me I look like a woman) seem to be pretty amused by it, though. My friends like to hang on to my braid while we're walking around. I also get asked if I'm a musician a lot. :P

It does take some maintenance. I shampoo and condition once every other day, and you have to go in every so often to get the ends trimmed. If you don't, they'll split and get frizzy. I usually wear it in a braid unless I'm around the house, too, because it can get in your way sometimes.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

11. If they give you any shit just smack 'em.

:woohoo:

[Akoto]

12. Haha. Well ...

I really can't blame some people for being surprised by it. I look ... uh, "interesting". It attracts attention when you don't comply with the social norms, I guess.

In a way, though, I like being unique. It reminds me of a saying I once heard: "It's good to be remembered, but it's better to be remembered as strange (because you're something new to the other person!)" :)

Thanks for the encouragement, though!

[Left Is Write]

13. You have really gotten my curiosity up.

Next time a picture thread comes up, I hope you'll post a picture. :)

[VelmaD]

15. Unique is good...

and there's a certain subset of women who will find your long hair very appealing. Trust me...these are the kind of women you want to meet. Fewer gender hangups. ;)

[Akoto]

17. LOL.

I am not strange in a sexy way. Thus, there will be no pictures. :P

[LastKnight]

16. you get that too, huh?

mine isnt even that long... its down to my chin and im getting the 'dude you look like a chick' stuff already. ive grown it out before, so not like its anything new, i just grow a beard and it changes to 'dude you look like jesus'

oh, i saw the question of maitenence - its horrible if its curly, which mine is. i straighten it most days... cause thats how i like it. but it gets dry fast when that happens, and in general its a real pain until you get it to the length you can tie it back into a pony tail. then it gets easier to some extent.

[Akoto]

22. I know how you feel!

I have a short goatee as well, and I've also gotten the "you look like Jesus" remark. There's just no winning with these people. :P

[leftofthedial]

14. several times a day

sexism against men is generally invisible and accepted

men's societally accepted (but arbitrary) roles
objectification
reduction of a man's value to his earning power
insulting statements about our supposed emotional range or sensitivity


and worse

[VelmaD]

19. On the topic of emotional range...

I had a superintendent at one of our facilities (I work in the juvenile justice system) tell me once that there was no difference in the emotional range of the boys and girls in her facility. The difference was their emotional vocabulary. The boys came in socialized with very few words to describe their feelings...they used "pissed" to cover just about everything. She certainly ascribed it to social conditioning...that being "pissed" was considered ok for men but anything else was seen as a weakness. She said one of her biggest challenges was teaching them words to describe all those feelings.

With the girls it was just the opposite...they had a lot of anger but it took a long time to get them to admit that was what the emotion was. They had been conditioned just the opposite...to believe that anger wasn't an appropriate emotion for them.

I think she hit the nail on the head. All human beings have the same range of emotions. We're just taught from an early age that some are acceptable and others aren't and we react one of two ways...we either work to suppress those unacceptable emotions and end up channeling them out in other ways, or those parts of our emotional landscape are alllowed to atrophy and we lose a part of ourselves. It's sad.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

23. She has a very good point. I actually got my degree in

Sociology and I can see that.

[leftofthedial]

26. emotional "vocabulary" is certianly an issue. I've seen that too.

We males often are not enocuraged to explore our emotions. We also are often encouraged to channel as much of our emotion as possible into anger. It makes us better soldier-killers, I guess.

but sexism has other dimensions too.

I've been told to my face by women that I'm incapable of feeling empathy or sympathy or sadness "because I'm a man." In my daily personal experience over the past decade or so, I've encountered far more blatant sexism perpetrated against men by women than the reverse.

I personally believe that there are important differences between most men and most women and these should be acknowledged and understood. But using stereotypical caricatures of these differences to marginalize the other gender is sexism.

I also encounter institutional anti-male sexism on a daily basis, which is yet another story.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

24. Bingo......

"sexism against men is generally invisible and accepted"

To add to your list:
traditional role of soldier/killer.

When I lived in Austin, I worked with a group called "MARS: Men Against Sexism and Racism". And what I learned in the few months I attended meetings was a real eye-opener to me as to the perception of the traditional role of men in society. Basically we are engineered to be soldiers, breadwinners, fathers and pillars of strength, all without the benefit of emotion. Ever since then I have been very active in dispelling many preconceptions that have been foisted upon men.

[Xithras]

18. Regarding children, yes.

I'm a father of three, and you'd be amazed at the reactions that a guy with three kids (one an infant) gets when out without mom. Odd looks and "Where's their mom?" comments are almost constant, and don't even let me get started on the paranoid BS that starts if one of the kids starts crying...everyone automatically assumes you're a kidnapper or a pervert.

My worst incident came just last month when my 9 month old started crying one day in the grocery store and I couldn't get him to calm down. This lady, who I'd never seen before in my life, stopped in the aisle and asked where his mother was. When I said that she wasn't in the store, the lady YANKED him from my arms while COMPLAINING that "you men don't know what the hell you're doing with babies". I flew into a bit of a rage and told her that she had two seconds to hand him back or I was going to "break your f*@#)&% neck". She got a bit pale, handed him right back, and practically ran down the aisle (I'm a big guy and according to my daughter turned bright red as I said it, so I probably scared the hell out of her). Funny thing was, my son stopped crying the moment she handed him back to me :)

Personally, I call that sexism.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

21. OMFG! I would left a lifeless body.

[Xithras]

25. If she hadn't handed him back, I might have.

Messing with my children is one of the few things that, IMO, justifies extreme physical violence. If she hadn't handed him back, I was fully prepared to follow through on that threat to break her neck. It should go without saying that ANYONE who tears another persons child from their arms does so at the risk of being seriously injured. Some reactions are just instinctual.

BTW, my wifes reaction to this was priceless when my daughter relayed the story. She just looked at me in disbelief and said, "You're too generous. I wouldn't have given her the two seconds."

[Crazy Guggenheim]

27. Your wife is cool! I love women like that. Tell her I said it too!

[WhollyHeretic]

30. People's attitudes toward fathers are infuriating a lot of the time

I get disrespectful treatment as a father all the time. Almost every parent/teacher conference I've been to the teacher acts like I'm not even there. People make disparaging comments all the time to fathers who are out with a kid without the mother, these people don't even realize how rude the stuff they're saying is. I would have absolutely flipped if someone grabbed my son from me. How the hell could that women think that was any where close to acceptable behavior?

[Dastard Stepchild]

28. I have a friend who once called a boyfriend of mine

emasculated because he used eye cream on his eyes.
She thought it was just too damn prissy for a heterosexual male. :eyes:

[sakabatou]

29. Yes!

[rug]

31. My wife is always telling me to fix things.

I tell her I'm overcoming generations of stereotypes.

[FuzzySlippers]

32. You're the guy who starts the "manly" threads.

Talk about perpetuating stereotypes!!:P

[Crazy Guggenheim]

33. MEN! Grrrr.

I hope you all know it's all in humor. We are mainly ridiculing it.

[last_texas_dem]

34. I've had a few

Mostly from men, when my hair was really long. Stuff like, calling me "young lady" or wondering what was "wrong with me" for wanting to have my hair long. These didn't really bother me much and I probably just ignored them (often people make these comments more aloud in general than to you directly) or said something slightly rude in response.

Growing up I got a lot of criticism because I didn't care anything about sports. These didn't phase me too much, as I still don't care anything about sports.

My ex-girlfriend, for the most part liberal, could occasionally be irritatingly sexist towards men- mostly w/o really thinking about it. I've probably mentioned it on here before ('cause it really got to me for some reason) but one thing that really bothered me was when she questioned my masculinity for having a bad sense of direction when driving, implying that all men were supposed to be good at this. I know it was just her stupidity, but it still really affected me as I tried to do most everything that was in my control to make her happy and that was something that I really couldn't do anything to fix. It's just a cruel thing to hold against someone.

But seriously, if you're a male who doesn't conform to macho stereotypes or appears to be at all, remotely sensitive, even if you aren't "effeminate" acting, expect to get plenty of sexist thought directed at you by both men and women.