What should I do?

[Arkana]

I found out tonight that one of my friends, who I have known since we were freshmen in high school, has...pictures...of a, shall we say, ultra-risque type posted on the internet.

The worst part is that I don't think she knows. I think her boyfriend took them in confidence that they wouldn't see the light of day, and then went ahead and sold them to an amateur pornographic site. I love this friend, and the last thing I ever want is for her to be hurt. But I don't know what to say to her (or how to say it).

What should I do, DU? This has me really freaked.

[datasuspect]

1. what is the URL?

[Arkana]

2. Hilariously funny.

:sarcasm:

[khashka]

3. Mention it to her, gently

If she knows and is OK with it, she has nothing to be ashamed of. If he did it without her knowledge, she has a right to know.

How exactly do you know, though?

Khash/

[Arkana]

8. That's the worst part.

A "friend" of mine informed me via AIM. He has the biggest mouth I've ever seen. Everybody in our high school class, in addition to a bunch of perverts in Britain, have now seen them. I don't know one way or the other--that's why I'm asking how to respond.

[khashka]

9. Tell her

she needs to know. In order to stop it.

What he did is actually illegal - a court case could take years but the threat of one might have the ratfuck bastard pissing jis pants.

Khash.

[Arkana]

10. Illegal--only if she didn't know.

Otherwise, she just has no self-respect.

[khashka]

12. If she didn't know right

If she did it's nobody's problem and nobody's business.

Khash.

[MrScorpio]

4. Be a friend

In one hand give her the URL and in the other the name of a good lawyer

[Orsino]

5. Tell her anonymously?

E-mail a URL/whatever to her from a throwaway address? This lets her take action without having to acknowledge that the pictures are of her.

[usedtobesick]

6. wouldn't it be better coming from a friend

then some punk on the steet or one her ex's punk friends? Just make sure it's her first...

[Clintmax]

7. I would tell her!

Say something like...
"I was surfing the internet the other day and I happened on a site with your picture on it! I think you need to get in touch with (insert BF's name here) and see if he sold them to someone."

Or something to that effect.

[crispini]

11. You *have* to tell her.

But be very careful about how you approach it -- just in a sort of non-condemnatory, non-judgemental sort of way, and very gently.

The anonymous idea is good too but again, phrase it very kindly even if you decide to do that.