My daughter's heart has been shattered into a million pieces.

[Left Is Write]

I would give ANYTHING for her not to go through this, and there is nothing I can do but watch and comfort. Unfortunately, Mom's comfort isn't really enough.

Her boyfriend of seven months has broken up with her. He's leaving for college a week from today and doesn't feel it's wise to try continuing a long distance relationship. This was her first serious relationship, and I know she loves him.

Her heart is just broken. She's shredded. And I can't help her.

[progmom]

1. oh. you poor thing.

:hug:

It's terrible to see your child in pain.

[Maat]

2. She WILL get through this!

Keep repeating that to her.

[KitchenWitch]

3. Ouch that hurts

Just have to let her go through it...but it does suck.

[gardenista]

4. Awww, that's so hard!

Poor thing! Try to give her something to look forward to. A trip together to the beach, a three-day camping trip, a shopping trip to a big city, something to get her out of her daily environment.

It's going to be a rough couple of weeks.

:hug:

[Frances]

12. Tell her that you are there for her

You'll listen when she wants you to and you'll leave her alone when she needs that and you'll be glad to do her favorite thing with her when she's ready (see the suggestions above).

I think it was harder for me to be the mother of a teen than it was being a teen because it's harder to watch someone unhappy than it is to be unhappy yourself.

I thought that seeing my daughters dumped would be the worst thing, but I felt just as bad when they dumped boyfriends that were in love with them and that I liked myself.

But all this passed and although it took years and years each daughter is now with a good companion.

[u4ic]

5. Aw....I'm so sorry for her

Lots of :hug: to her.

[Ariana Celeste]

6. You can help her..

by being there, understanding, and giving her time. In a few days, try doing something with her... in the meantime have an open shoulder.

My mum was real good at all that. My first serious breakup, she let me cry in her lap while she petted my head. Didn't push me to do anything, just let me know she was there...

I'm sorry for both of you. :( Love sucks. :hug: for your daughter.

[BlueStateGirl]

7. The first heart break is the worst, because you don't have the experience

to know that you will get through it. It just absolutely feels like the end of the world.


Poor girl.

[JimmyJazz]

8. I am sorry. It sucks to see your child in pain. You can't make it all

better but, you're a great mom - you'll be able to comfort her.

:hug:

[Catch22Dem]

9. Not that she'd believe me, but

It's best that way. They'd drive themselves and each other crazy wondering what the other was doing. Can't help it at that age. Too young to be that tied down anyway. I got married at 18. Amazingly enough I'm still married to the same woman almost 15 years later but I wouldn't recommend a relationship that serious at that age to anyone else.

[Greyhound]

35. Brava! It's so rare to hear someone that realizes they were incredibly...

lucky, and admits it. To top it off, you actually point out that you don't recommend anyone else follow you.
Again, Brava, and very well done. :bounce:

[movonne]

10. It really hurts bad....and there is nothing you can do about it..time

will be the only cure..and time can go so slow when your are hurting.

[Pithlet]

11. Aw, poor girl

The first heartbreak is so hard. It's awful seeing your child suffer when there is nothing you can do about it :hug:

[swag]

13. I am very sorry for her and for you.

I hope she comes out of it well in a couple of weeks.

It only gets better from here.

[Deja Q]

14. My condolances to her...

Worse things can happen, but let's hope those don't.

:hug:

She will find somebody BETTER, even if she felt he was 'the one'. It just wasn't meant to be. :(

[niceypoo]

15. Its part of growing up and she will be the stronger for it

We've all been thru it. Its always harder to see your kid going thru it than it actually was when you experienced it yourself.

[Obamarama]

16. She'll get over it....

You can help her - just keep her busy, be available to her. Keep an eye on her, but know she'll get over this. Is she in high school? If so, she'll be occupied with school soon and her life will get back to normal

[Left Is Write]

18. No, she's graduated. And that's almost worse -

she won't be starting college in the fall with her friends. She's not starting until the spring semester, so this loss will be looming even larger. She's been looking for a fulltime job, but hasn't found one yet.

[Obamarama]

24. How about volunteering until she gets a job?

I won't extoll all the virtues of volunteering since you probably know them all. Might be helpful in keeping her occupied until a job comes along and while waiting to start school.

[gardenista]

31. Any way she get get out of town to do an exotic internship or something

like that? Nothing to chase away the blues like going off to exotic places to do mysterious things that will make the ex-boyfriend jealous...

[Left Is Write]

36. No, but she is going to Minnesota for two weeks with her dad.

She's leaving a week from today. That might help, just getting away.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. My dear Left Is Write....

I remember only too well when my younger daughter had her first loss in love...

It shattered both of us...I could do nothing to help her but be there, and that wasn't nearly enough...

It hurts to realize that your child must face these things alone.

You cannot protect her...but this is life, and she will recover in time...

We all do...of course there will be scars, but time will heal her...

Good luck to you both...


:grouphug:

[sundog]

19. agh

sorry sweetheart :pals:

[MalibuChloe]

20. a rite of passage

but a sad one.

Tell her about the "time heals all wounds" thingy.

[Left Is Write]

21. Thank you for the kind words, everyone.

I knew it would hurt when she experienced her first real heartbreak, but I had no idea it would hurt this badly. It hurt less going through my own first heartbreak than watching my daughter's pain!

He's a good kid too. We all liked him. She's upstairs crying herself to sleep right now, and I wish I could do something to ease the pain.

[LastKnight]

22. nothing teaches somone about love like losing it.

im serious. all of life is a learning expierence and she is about to learn more than any class has or will ever teach.

just be there if she wants to talk, dont force anything, but do what any good mom does... be there.

she will recover. and its probably a blessing in disguise that she isnt going to school just yet, nothing like being away from home and not knowing anyone at the time you need a support system most...

[Wetzelbill]

23. poor girl....

It sucks. A broken heart always seems like the end of the world. It hurts so bad. Just be there for her, don't push too much out of her, and help her ride it out. You can't do too much but you can care and you can be loving. If she wants to talk, let her know you're available but don't pry. Try to do little things for her, like make a favorite meal or something like that. It doesn't seem like much, but it helps.

[AussieDave]

25. It'll seem like the end of everything

for a while, and then someone better will come along. It just has to be lived through - she'll look back in future years and thank you for your love and support.

[fortyfeetunder]

26. Not sure these are words of comfort, but it reminds me of

this phrase of Richard Bach -- Author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1970), :

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours;if they don't they never were.

[Spock_is_Skeptical]

27. I am sorry to hear it... just be there for her

she will get over it in time, it really heal all wounds. (Although I'm sure she may not believe that right now...)
:hug:

[kodi]

28. sounds like she needs a road trip with you to see the Chippendales!

or maybe its just a guy thing to go to a strip joint after a woman breaks up with a man?

as to your daughter, all she can do is accept that it is a rite of passage for a young person to lose a beloved. now here entire life is open to new horizons once limited by her relationship.

as my old grandma used to say about her kidney stones...."this too shall pass."

[SoCalDem]

29. Actually a good thing.. This way she won't be spending

HER senior year pining away for him.. It hurts when they are going through it, but she will get it together.. His year at college will change him a LOT, and until she goes to college herself she won;t understand.

Who knows? a few years down the road,m they might meet up again..as adults:)

[Left Is Write]

30. She's done with high school too.

But he's going away to college, and she's staying here to go to BSU in January.

[Bat Boy]

32. I remember my first.

She was the world, she was everything and it took me years to realize that breaking up was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Not that it will help now. No matter how much you want, there are no words that will magically heal. Just time.

And congratulate her for me, 'cause she just took a major step toward becoming a strong, independant woman.

[GalleryGod]

33. Such a bittersweet moment as a parent,you want to "take the hurt for them"

I do give the young man good marks for a mature perspective,though.
What would be the alternative ? Two kids on two different campuses rarely works, if at all.;(

[friesianrider]

34. I've so been there.

As a 22-year-old girl, trust me - I've been there! :) Best thing is to allow her as much freedom as possible with her girlfriends (they will be a huge comfort to her) and take her out for some "Daughter and Mom" time. My Mom did this with me and it truly solidified our relationship - the time after my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me when my Mom did this helped result in her being my best friend to this day.

Take her out on a Friday or Saturday and go to dinner, take her shopping for a new something, and just listen to her. It will help. Just remind her that although it seems like you could never understand what she's feeling, you do, and she will have many more boyfriends who she will love. You might also encourage her to look at things in the perspective that "everything happens for a reason." Just do what you're doing - comfort and listen, and try to keep her busy. Be a friend and a Mom - I'll certainly be thinking of you guys :)

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

37. I'm sorry

Young love - is there anything more exhilarating? Or more painful? She will get through this, but it'll be hell for a while. She's lucky she has such a loving mom for comfort and support.

[pitohui]

38. oh poor thing

secretly i think the bf is right but now is not the time to tell her

youth should not be wasted on dreaming and hoping, long distance relationships are hard enough for older folk and even for the middle-aged often involve too much cheating and drama

let her grieve

in time she'll see for herself all the choices coming open to her now