I always wanted to start a short story with....

[Wetzelbill]

The protagonist drunk off his ass, beating the shit out of Ronald McDonald in front of a whole bunch of children. Just ruthlessly pounding him.

Then after that work back until you find out how everything got to that moment. I don't even know what it will be about or anything. I just like the idea of Ronald McDonald catching a severe beating for no apparent reason.

That's a little sick, I know.

[Not_Giving_Up]

1. What did Ronald McDonald ever do to you?

That's severe!

[Wetzelbill]

5. nothing....

I just think my protagonist is such a drunken ass that he'd do something like that. :)

[Not_Giving_Up]

9. OK

So your protagonist has recently discovered that his wife has been doing the horizontal lambada with the clown. He went to the bar to seek consolation, but once his buddies heard that his wife was playing hide the salami with a clown, they laughed him out of the place. Shamed, he went to McDonald's to open a can of whoop ass.

[rwenos]

2. Then it Turns Out He's Head of a College Republican Club

And he's pissed as a fart after a Skull and Bones meeting, but has taken the job during Christmas to square his debt with an off-campus bookie.


C'mon, fellow writers! Continue the thread!

[Spider Jerusalem]

8. And he's terribly depressed...

because he's got the galloping cockrot from rogering one dodgy whore too many -- the girls have to do something, with the fleet out from New Haven, and college boys are as good a diversion as any--even of he does have to pay extra for his fiendish depravities--and he's slugging back the booze on the way to the hospital, after this madman has set on him and given him a pounding, to dull the throb of his broken nose and ease the burn of his infected urethra, all the while wondering what the hell his father's going to say when he gets home two days hence...



(best I can do on short notice...)

[rwenos]

11. But Emotionally Closed, He Rages

at the frustration of being his father's non-achieving first son. Always, he rages at the Yalies who scorn his Texican accent. That BITCH who infected him! See how much money she gets from HIM again.

Before going over to beat up the Ronald McDonald, he makes sure the poor bloke's apartment is trashed. The bloke's girlfriend was there at the time, but the back of our hero's hand was enough to clear her out of the picture.

Then, a few more swigs of Southern Comfort, and his path to revenge seemed clear.

[Spider Jerusalem]

12. Call up Daddy. Daddy has nasty CIA contacts.

He's the man to square it, if anyone is..."think they can fuck with ME, by God...I'll show the bastards", he thinks, as the liquor settles him into a steady red haze of rage and resentment. "Doesn't know who he's dealing with...lousy clown-faced scum..."

And he stumbles off to find an illegal abortionist to shoot him up with penicillin, and a pay telephone to call the special number, "only in case of emergency, you understand," Daddy had said...well, the family honour was at stake! He couldn't be make a fool of, not by these whey-faced Northeastern twats who laughed at him behind his back...thoguht he didn't know, did they...well, they'd see, all right.

[rwenos]

15. A Phone Rings in a Quiet Office

And a man wearing black gloves and mirror-shade sun glasses, with a grey suit, answers. "6124."

"Say, buddy, Daddy gave me this number, uh, when, uh, like, I've run into some shit, know what I mean?"

"Your location?"

"Sheeit. Uh, let's see, uh. Corner of Campus Drive and Main."

"A car will come for you immediately."

[Spider Jerusalem]

16. The man hangs up the telephone...

and looks at it for a moment, considering. Then he takes a cigarette-case out of his inner pocket, lights up, takes a long drag, and dials.

"Jackson's Bonded Freight Warehouse," a voice on the other end says. "After hours--we're closed."

Agent Stevens...for that was his name...replied "I wanted to check on the status of a consignment for a Mr Speer; it's urgent." He could hear the intake of breath from the other end.

"Speer, eh? All right...Speer, Speer...just a moment...what was that shipment again?"

"Machine tools, coming from Ascuncion, in Paraguay."

"Yes sir", said the voice, suddenly crisp. "And where shall they be delivered?"

"Corner of College and Main Streets, New Haven. Be a man waiting. Sharp, now."

[rwenos]

17. A Black Sedan Rolls Up

At first, the driver (a woman wearing a crisp limousine driver's wool cap)looks around. No man waiting. Then, she spies a youngish man, twisted upper lip, dirty torn tennis shirt with the collar turned up. The package.

She swerves over to the curb. Junior stands there, listlessly facing the open passenger door. "Wha?"

"Get in. Now."

"YeeHah, baby. Daddy sentcha, right?" The disheveled young man sits heavily in the front passenger seat. "Home, James. Hahahahah! I'm so funny I crack myself up!"

The young woman accelerates away from the kerb, the passenger door swinging closed.

"So where to, Jamesie baby?"

The chauffeuse said nothing, picked up a radio microphone, and reported her position back to Langley.

[madeline_con]

3. Work back...

maybe he knows the guy who's playing Ronald, and has a beef with him from off the job that's totally legit.

[rwenos]

7. It's a Pubbie Cat Fight

The bloke just aced him out for Prez of Skull & Bones. They're both closeted gay men, consumed in self-hate.

[madeline_con]

18. When can we excpect a first draft?

It sounds like fun.

[puerco-bellies]

4. Quit cancelling the f#@king McRibb assclown!!!!

What you dream of, I've done..

[MrScorpio]

6. Sounds like a new Billy Bob Thorton movie

Write the screenplay... Billy Bob is waiting

[Wetzelbill]

10. yeah it does......

he's good at weird characters like that.

[PittPoliSci]

14. that's exactly what i was thinking.

billy bob just needs to do movies where he abuses children and their mascots for the rest of his life.

i think this is the second time tonight i've posted on this subject.

god did i love bad santa :-)

[BikeWriter]

13. That sounds similar to a scene in one of my books.