the squid stole zuni's crack pipe out of his top dresser drawer!!!!

[sundog]

ok, let me catch my breath... i've been up all night worried sick... haven't gotten an hour's sleep...

it all started yesterday...

zuni & i went to the hospital to pick up our still unnamed* adopted squid... it was all happy... we went to baskin robbins & got rocky road ice cream... the squid still isn't strong enough to hold a waffle cone, so we got it in a cup... ok, anyway...

so we got home... it was getting late, so i sat down with the baby squid and had a long talk about drugs & peer pressure over a soothing cup of jasmine tea...

so we all went to bed & everything was fine...

then... in the middle of the night... i heard the squealing of car tires & the smell of burning rubber... i looked in the driveway & the el camino was missing... then i went to the squid's bedroom & found a note: "i hate you i'm running away" :cry:

zuni was so upset that he reached for his crack pipe in the dresser drawer (to calm down)... only to find it missing :cry:

i've heard of squids rebelling, but i did everything i could :cry:

i'm a wreck. please. if you see THIS car or THIS squid, please contact me...

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Sundog. Calm down. Have the police issue

a 'squid alert'.

[sundog]

3. i'm frightened... so very frightened

:cry:

[Midlodemocrat]

7. We're here for you, dude. Just take a deep breath.

:hug:

[wtmusic]

2. cephalopods are partial to trick 60's-era autos

they should have told you. WTF? :wtf:

[WoodrowFan]

4. have you tried "tough love"

young squids need guidance.

[matcom]

5. i KNEW that squid was no good!

we have gotten together with the other neighbors and have decided to DEMAND you not let that squid back in the house!

this used to be such a safe place. hell, we never used to have to lock our doors before you brought HIM home. now none of us feel safe. if you let that squid back in, we have decided to not invite you to our next street social!

we have to put our foot down on this one.

[sundog]

6. fuck you

i have the milk industry on my side

[Midlodemocrat]

9. Matcom!! This is NOT the time.

sundog needs our help, not our contempt.








Although I did vote to keep the squid out as well. He was stinking up my yard.

[sundog]

10. thank *sniff* you *sniff*

i knew i could count on your support :cry:

[matcom]

15. no. i will NOT have that hoodlum destroying this neighborhood!

if i see him around here, i'm calling the squid-catcher

you.have.been.warned.

[sundog]

21. HE'S A BABY!!!

:cry:

[WoodrowFan]

45. old enough to do the crime

old enough to do the time. Don't worry, he'll probably just go to juvie-hall, er, juvie aquarium.

[FuzzySlippers]

8. OK sundog. I've tried humoring you.

But it's time to seek professional help.

[sundog]

11. i even gave him the fringe shirt you made

:cry:

you know how he hates tight fitting clothes :cry:

[JimmyJazz]

12. I have seen both your squid and your car:

your car:


your pet:










I'm probably gonna get in trouble. I nominated this thread!

[sundog]

28. YOU'RE JEALOUS!!!!

nominated? :rofl:

[tjwmason]

35. That looks like some good cooking you've got going there.

Enough to share - it does look like a pretty small thing after all?

[Hugin]

13. Breaking: Burned out El Camino found near Beach Amusement Park.

Boonies, Rural: (DU:LBN) The burned out remains of a very tricked
out late '60s El Camino were found near a water slide amusement
center.

A Law-Enforcement Officer at the scene is quoted as saying,
"Golly, from the damage to the vehicle the perpetrators are
either 4 people or one squid. It would take at least 8 arms
to do that kind of thing. It was horrible. Ohh, the humanity."

[sundog]

14. stop it!!!

:cry:

[Hugin]

20. There... there... You have my sympathy.

But, if squid AKA squiddy AKA squidworth AKA squidmeister
AKA The Squid AKA Watch-those-hands-buster is to be brought
back to his senses.

He (it?) must be tracked and apprehended.

[Tom Kitten]

22. oh that's terrible

did the car leave any squid marks?

[Midlodemocrat]

16. Hey! Where's Zuni?

Is it possible that Zuni kidnapped the squid and brought him back east?????

Just sayin'.

[sundog]

19. no! zuni was with me when this happened...

we both thought the crack pipe would calm us down when we found it missing...

he's been driving around the country all night searching & i've been waiting by the phone :cry:

[Zuni]

24. I resent that

I have been miserable all night, thinking only of the squid

[In_The_Wind]

17. *breathe deeply*

there, there, sundog *you're OK*

[sundog]

26. i need a paper bag joan

:cry:

we did everything for that squid :cry:

[In_The_Wind]

54. awwwww ~ sweetie

think about this > and this ...> sundog

[redqueen]

18. baaaahahahahahahahaha

:loveya:

[Zuni]

23. I am just devestated

I don't even know what to say. I hardly got any sleep last night.

The State Police have a description of the El Camino and the Squid, but I just got off the phone with them and still no sign of the squid.

Sundog took that little squid under his wing....and that squid dumped us like a sack of potatoes, and yet, right now all I want to know is if the squid is ok

:(

[sundog]

25. did you get a new crackpipe yet?

i need to calm down :cry:

[Zuni]

27. I just picked up several

and a whole shitload of primo product. Enough so we will be able to drive around for several days on our squid hunt

[sundog]

29. we can take the monte carlo

[Zuni]

32. But the hydraulics need to be fixed

I say we take the Cadillac

[sundog]

38. oh, you got a makeover!

:cry: that makes me so happy :cry:

almost makes me forget about the squid... but not quite :cry:

[WoodrowFan]

48. speaking of fixing hydraulics..

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3828522&mesg_id=3828522

[Zuni]

49. That looks like some torture device

:(

[sundog]

50. i already did my workout today

what's your point? :P

[WoodrowFan]

52. really

guess someone isn't TOO broken up about a missing Cephalopod

[sundog]

53. well, i have to prioritize

:7

[tjwmason]

30. I blame the parents

You were just crap at raising it - face facts, it's all you're fault. :P

Edit - typo.

[sundog]

31. why are you trying to turn this into a flame war?

there was always crack in my childhood home & i turned out fine :freak:

:P

[tjwmason]

37. It's not a flame-war

It's just the tough love that you need. Now don't adopt any more children/animals until you're a far better person - and certainly don't go and get yourself pregnant either.

[Midlodemocrat]

33. At this point, I think you and Zuni should move on

Kids go bad, especially dead squids. This isn't your fault. It was probably programmed into his DNA.

[Zuni]

34. That is soooooo racist

There are plenty of deceased squid that leave perfectly respectable lives

[sundog]

36. *you're* telling *me* to give up after a day

you would :nuke:

[Midlodemocrat]

39. Well, my teenager went bad

with some help from matcom. We just erased her from our collective memories.

And, her room makes a great TV room.


It was a little hard, for a day or two. But we moved on.

[sundog]

40. zuni bought me a new car to make me feel better

:cry:

[Midlodemocrat]

41. See, you are already moving past this tragic time in your life.

Good for you.

[Zuni]

42. I knew you'd like it

all we need to get for it now are a pair of cattle horns for the front and a chrome skull hood ornament and vanity license plates that say SQUID1

[sundog]

43. can the car horn play a song?

:cry:

[Zuni]

44. It plays Kool and the Gang

[sundog]

46. get down tonight?

:cry:

[Zuni]

47. yes

:cry:

:grouphug:

[sundog]

51. thank *sniff* you *sniff*

:grouphug:

[El Fuego]

55. Squiddy's momma was a CRACK WHORE!!!!

I called the aquarium and they told me the whole story... they only had him in the tank to protect him from his daddy the pimp.

He was born addicted -- it's not his fault!!!! :cry:

edited cause i cannot spell in my grief

[Miss Chybil]

56. He probably figured, if you could smoke crack, he could, too.

You know squids learn best by example...

:shrug:

[FuzzySlippers]

57. Any news?

[Zuni]

58. no. A report of a squid knocking over a liquor store came in

but it turned out to be a different squid altogether

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

60. I had these made up and sent today when I heard. I hope you find him soon

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

[Zuni]

62. Thank you so much

:grouphug:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

64. I'll do whatever I can. Look they've recovered 135 featured squid!

:hug:

[Zuni]

66. You are so sweet

:loveya:

[sundog]

63. awwww

thank you

:grouphug:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

65. I'm *HERE* for you, pal!

I found this photo. I hope there isn't some Cruella Deville measuring him for curtains.... or horrible shoes!!

[AussieDave]

59. You people are out of your tiny little minds

I can't stop laughing - I'm hooked now - this could be a spin-off of "Trailer Park Boys"........

[XemaSab]

61. Go to Yosemite for the day

and this happens.....

un. freakin'. believable.

[JimmyJazz]

67. sundog....erm....how do you hear the smell of burning rubber?

:shrug:

[AussieDave]

68. Maybe the squid's fled to Canada

to avoid getting sent to Iraq ??? They need all the help they can get over there....