"During her lifetime she became a lesbian..."

[motely36]

This was a sentence in a paper a co-worker asked me to proof for her. I told her the sentence was offensive and she could not understand why.

[mr_hat]

1. "After her death, she became a lesbian."

[davidinalameda]

2. I can see your point

how did you re-write it

[KitchenWitch]

7. perhaps like this

"During her lifetime, she discovered that she was a lesbian."

or "During her youth, she discovered that she was a lesbian."

[motely36]

8. The coworker didn't agree that it was bad

so she left it alone.

[Misunderestimator]

3. What was the context of that?

All by itself I don't find it offensive, I just find it naive.

[brainshrub]

6. Agree.

It may not necessarily be offensive. Context is everything.

[motely36]

9. She was writing a biography about a writer

and said "during her life she became a lesbian, a feminist, and a writer." The sentence makes it sound like one day she decided to become a lesbian.

[Misunderestimator]

10. In that context, it's still not exactly offensive, but it sure is stupid.

Does she care that she sounds stupid? :shrug: :)

[motely36]

20. I guess offended was the wrong word.

She doesn't see anything wrong with it, so I am going to let it go.

[Modem Butterfly]

11. Well maybe she did. I decided to become heterosexual one day

I was about six days old, but I still decided.

:evilgrin:

[Saphire]

24. your lucky...I'm 47 and I still haven't decided what to become.

[WCGreen]

28. Hey, I'm 47 too....

And I still haven't figured out where all that parts go

[BikeWriter]

16. During my life I became straight, a feminist, and a writer. Yes...

it sounds stupid. :(

[rbnyc]

37. It sounds stupid...

...because we assume straight is the norm and lesbian is the deviation. If we assume that there is no norm, and that sexuality is a discovery/choice that evolves over a persons lifetime, then it doesn't sound strange to say that one became straight or that one became a lesbian.

Personally, I think it's MORE homophobic to enforce the idea that homosexuality must be innate and can't be a choice, then to use language that suggests it might be a choice in one person's case.

[sniffa]

4. she just needed the practice

some peopLe take a Lifetime to figure themseLves out.

[terrya]

5. "When I turned 18....I decided to become gay"

There's a certain...idiocy...in that kind of sentiment.

Being gay or lesbian isn't some sort of life choice.

I wish people would understand that.

[WeRQ4U]

12. When I turned 30, I decided cowboy boots were most comfortable...

For some reason I think this is a little different.

[LynneSin]

13. does she support Lesbian Sports like Sharon STone does

:shrug:

[Brotherjohn]

14. Ask her: would she write "in her lifetime, she became heterosexual" about

... a straight author?

[northzax]

19. that could be legitimate

say someone lived as a lesbian until she was 40, then met and married a man. you could argue that during her lifetime, she decided to live a heterosexual lifestyle.

but that would be a strange, one off arguement. without more information about this particular person's life, the statement is impossible to judge.

by the way, I have a friend who decided to become a lesbian. it didn't work out.

[hfojvt]

29. really, what about Anne Heche?

or George Costanza's fiancee?

[Ron Mexico]

15. At least her timing was good.

After all, if you're going to turn into a lesbian, best to do it within your lifetime instead of before or after.

The sentence doesn't strike me as offensive, but it sure is fucking stupid. Season it with "it was a dark and stormy night" and you've got the makings of the worst writing ever.

Is this a co-worker at a lemonade stand, or did an adult write that?

[motely36]

17. She's in her mid-thirties

so i would have expected more

[Ron Mexico]

21. Jesus bleeping Christ.

Nothing surprises me anymore. I just heard an announcement that said the fire alarm in my building was in fact a false alarm, and that we "could return to the building." The problem - even if you could hear such an announcement outside of the building (no chance), there's still no way there was enough time to get out from the time the bell sounded until the announcement (25-20 second later).

[NeoTraitors]

18. Sounds like something Yogi

Berra would say!

'McQueen must've made that movie before he died.'

[Heidi]

22. Easy fix: "During her lifetime, she WAS a lesbian, a feminist . . . " nt

[rbnyc]

23. Some in the LGBT community would not agree...

...that it's offensive. I've worked with many LGBT activists and public policy professionals who say that it's dangerous to promote the idea that it's not a choice to be gay, rather a person is born gay. The concern is that it's the same as saying that LGBT people only deserve rights because it's not a choice, and that it would not be okay to choose to be L, G, B or T.

Many in the LGBT community would rather promote the idea that it may be a choice for some people, and that it's a fine choice, and all people deserve rights no matter whom they choose to love or how they choose to express their gender identity.

If we rely too heavily on the it's-not-a-choice approach, what happens when a gay gene is discovered? How do we combat those who would propose geneticly de-selecting gay babies?

And that's just one scenario.

EDIT: typo

[BiggJawn]

25. "During her lifetime, she REALISED she was a Lesbian..."

Is your co-worker doing a Bio on my ex-wife?

[Deep13]

26. neither can I

I assume your point is that lesbians are born that way and you expect your friend to accept that. I personally am unaware of any evidence that proves when sexual identity forms. Frankly, even if her statement is inaccurate, I don't see how it is offensive. We really need to give the PC cops a donut break and lighten up a little.

Frankly, if people are judged by actions and not be subjective thought, then from that perspective, the person in question might have become a lesbian during her life. Even if Bush thinks what he is doing is right, it does not make him a good person compared to the harm he did. (I am not equating war crimes with sexual orientation, but only explaining how action and not thought or feeling is what defines people).

[rbnyc]

38. Your second paragraph confused me..

...but I agree with the first.

[Deep13]

39. Is orientation defined by self-perception or actual sexual activity?

My point is that if it is the latter, then one can become a lesbian as suggested in that writing.

[swimmernsecretsea]

27. I understand how you feel.

It's insensitively put, and offensive to an LGBT person. I would have written, "during her lifetime, she came out as a Lesbian..." although some other suggestions were as good or better.

[Shell Beau]

30. Was the woman by any chance a bi-sexual?

Maybe the woman dated men and then started to date women as well. Which means she became OPEN about her sexuality (bi or not)!

[leftofthedial]

31. me either

except maybe in some ultra-PC dogmatic world

:shrug:

[KamaAina]

32. Things To Do Today

Buy cat food

Pay electric bill

Mow lawn

Become a lesbian

:sarcasm:

[ronnykmarshall]

33. Buuwwwhaaaaa!!!

The power of "Hypno Judy"!!

Another one!!!

[Terran]

34. It woud depend on the facts and the context.

If "she" was actually bisexual but adopted a Lesbian lifestyle, then I would say that's "becoming" a Lesbian (although there are better words to use). But "became" is not necessarily offensive, IMO, unless one assumes one knows all the facts. And you know what happens when you assume...

[hunter]

35. Who got the toaster?

:evilgrin:

[youthere]

36. During her lifetime she became a Lesbian..

but Island life didn't agree with her so she left Greece and became a New Yorker...

[sundog]

40. During her lifetime she became an open/overt lesbian

[bertha katzenengel]

41. Did she change it?

No one "becomes" a lesbian.