Well, at least I'm in a serious relationship...

[Deja Q]

That's the good news and I'm still in massive shock that someone would really be so fond of me. (it's a good thing; I'm really fond of him too! And I hadn't wept wth tears of joy since... well, ever...)

Of course, when I cashed in some of my life insurance policy to pay back some bills they decided to put it in as a loan instead of a sell-off (THEIR mistake) so they chucked out more... which means an extra $200 in immediate interest plus that much more until I get it paid off (and my advisor said to cash it in to avoid interest payments, et al...) they also delivered it airmail instead of postal service, airmail demanded a on-person sig so I had to drive 30 miles one way to get it, I WAS expecting a replacement piece of warranty-covered hardware... ugh. But it's all money. A man-made evil to keep us from focusing on life and living...

Of course, I'm seeing the doc for a number of increasingly severe health issues as well; which the fuckers immediately pinned on the neurosurgeon DESPITE telling them some of these things existed BEFORE THE SURGERY and that only IN THE LAST MONTH have they gotten worse. The surgery was 8 months ago for cryin' out loud... never mind a side-effect that is a prime characteristic of a med I am taking that could very well be impacting everything else... I can't believe that clinic got an 3-of-4-star rating in terms of care quality; apart from the dermo I've had a run of bad luck with them, which nearly left me paralyzed or dead because they didn't take the time...

Sometimes I just can't wait to die, this insane ass-backwards "society". Too large, too selfish, too exploitative, too conniving, too inept...

I'm not suicidal. Just anxious and fatigued. At least I've got a good person in my life, for which I am infinitely grateful for. And a person worth living FOR as well. And I will never lose focus of that.

:rant:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

1. Always look on the briiight side of life...

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

Hang in there... there are some real good things to be had.