9 years ago today...

[Shell Beau]

My oldest brother was killed in a car accident. I remember it like it was yesterday. My mother and I went out of town to do some last minute shopping since I was going through rush at college. I was to start the very next day and it was going to be my freshman year in college. I was so excited. I wanted to look super cute so we were buying me some new clothes (last minute). It was a weird day to begin with. We even discussed death on the 2 hour drive home. When we pulled into my driveway, we noticed my grandmother was at our house. She came out of the door and looked ghost white pale. My mom knew. She jumped out of the car and asked what was wrong. I remember her falling to the ground and beating on the ground screaming "no, no". I stayed in the car for a moment. I felt like if I stayed, I wouldn't have to know what the bad news was. I finally got out and asked what was wrong. I will never forget my mom's look on her face. She said "Bo died". It hit me like a ton of bricks. She went to the bathroom and started throwing up. Finally my dad and other brother came home. They had been to identify the body. When they walked in, I, for some reason, still had some hope he was okay. I said "Is he okay?" and my brother said "No, Shell Beau, he died" that is when I lost it. Apparently he was still drunk from the night before and was taking someone home. He, we think, fell asleep at the wheel and lost control. He was thrown from the car and it flipped and landed on him, crushing him. He was only 24. I just wanted to pay some kind of tribute to him. It doesn't seem like it has been 9 years since I have seen his face or heard his voice. I just ask for you to pray or send some thoughts for my mom and dad today, as this day every year it the toughest day for them.

[ET Awful]

1. Oh wow . . . I'm so sorry Shell

:hug:

Good thoughts and vibes are going out to the whole family as I type.

[Shell Beau]

3. Thanks so much!

[MissHoneychurch]

2. how sad is that

my thoughts go to your whole family.

I have tears in my eyes and am on the verge of crying.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

4. Thanks! I know I have tears in my eyes. I am

waiting to call my mom. She has to hear from my brother and me on this day. It is hard to call her though b/c I know she is so sad. Even though time goes on and it gets a little easier for her, she has never been the same.

[MissHoneychurch]

12. It is never easy to lose a child

no matter how old the child is. My grandma still has trouble understanding the death of my father (who was 55 at the time he died). And we had at least some time to get used to the idea that he was dying.
Your brother was gone from a second to the next. I always think that is more horrible. To lose someone out of the blue.

[Shell Beau]

18. Sorry about your dad. Death is never easy no matter what.

What makes it worse on my mom is that they didn't leave on the best of terms before he died. He was always in trouble. He was living at home and bringing friends over. Getting drunk all of the time. My mom got fed up with it. She told him he had to get a job and act like he was 24. He got mad and stormed out of the house. That was the last time she saw him. I think that has made it that much harder for my mom.

[MissHoneychurch]

24. no death is never easy

but that is really tough for your mom. To have had an argument. It must eat her up. What a tragedy.

[Shell Beau]

26. That is how she has to remember their last words with each other.

I really hate it for her. I remember when we getting ready for the funeral, she said "When I bought this dress, I had no idea I was buying my son's funeral dress". Why I remember things like that, I don't know. But anyway, thanks again!

[motely36]

5. Sending prayers for your whole family.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

7. Thank you!

[JimmyJazz]

6. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my

thoughts today. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

8. Thank you. It means a lot.

[Dora]

9. These anniversaries are hard.

My thoughts are of your family and its loss.

[Shell Beau]

10. They are hard. Thanks for your thoughts!

[WCGreen]

11. You loss is terrible....

But the fact that you are able to share your pain with us means you are getting better by keeping his death a part of your life

[Shell Beau]

13. I don't think I actually started to really deal with it until

a few years ago. I went off to college and tried to push it in the back of my mind. But that is never a good thing to do. Because, eventually, you have to deal with it.

[WCGreen]

32. Yea, That is the normal reaction to shock and

loss......

Just remember, your borther lives on in you....

[Shell Beau]

33. I know he does. I have dreams about him all of the time.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe he is trying to communicate with me that way.

[WCGreen]

37. I bet he is....

My mom and dad both come back to me in my dreams....

It's almost like a running commentary on my life....

[Shell Beau]

40. I guess they find a way to still communicate!

[Heidi]

14. Good vibes coming your way, Shell.

My brother is one of the lights in my life; I'm blessed to have him in my life and hope that if anything ever happened to him, I'd be as strong as you. Thanks for reminding me of how much I love him. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

19. If anything, try to always remember that and

tell each other that. Thanks for your thoughts!

[Heidi]

23. Thanks, Shell. My brother truly is a superb man . . .

the kind of "little" 34-year-old brother who has no qualms telling me he loves me, and doesn't get all sheepish when he hears it from me. We're pretty lucky.

Take good care of _you_, gf.

[Shell Beau]

30. Thank you. His death has brought some good to my family.

We tell each other we love each other every time we see or talk to each other. It is important, b/c you will remember what your last words were to someone when they go. And it does bring comfort knowing that it was something loving!

[johnnie]

15. My thoughts are with you and your family

I know you have mentioned this before, but to read the whole story is very heartbreaking. I can't even imagine what it was like and what it is like still.
:hug:

[Shell Beau]

20. Thank you. I can tell you that it makes you

realize how precious life really is!

[Coyote_Bandit]

16. I lost a sister in a car accident

nearly 40 years ago. I will always remember that day. I know today is a tough day for you and your family. You will always love your brother and miss him. And today you honor his life and your memory of him.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

21. I am sorry for your loss too! It gets easier as

time goes on, but then you realize that it has been that much longer since you've seen their face or heard their voice! :hug:

[Zuni]

17. I am so sorry Shell

Youre family will be in my thoughts and prayers

[Shell Beau]

22. Thank you, Zuni!

[Avalux]

25. I am so sorry -

time doesn't make it any easier, I know. You and your parents are in my thoughts today - hugs to you. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

28. Thank you so much.

[kedrys]

27. Shell, I'm so sorry

You and your family will be in my thoughts today. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

29. It means a lot. Thanks!

[Texasgal]

31. Oh Honey...

What a horrific tale....

I am so sorry and can only offer my thoughts and prayers to you and your family today.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

34. Thanks, Texasgal. It means more than you know.

[bertha katzenengel]

35. SB

:hug: I can't imagine your loss.

[Shell Beau]

36. Thanks bertha! You are so sweet!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

38. I'm so sorry

What a horrible thing to go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today.

[Shell Beau]

39. Thank you!

[usedtobesick]

41. prayers for your family and i lite a candle for your brother.

[Shell Beau]

42. Thank you so much. It really means a lot.

[Shell Beau]

43. Kick. I am not trying to get sympathy here, but

I just want his spirit to live on and people to know about him.

[Shell Beau]

44. I just got off of the phone with my mother. It really

reminded me that I really had two losses that day. A part of my mother has been gone since then. I don't know what hurt worse: losing my brother or seeing what it did to my parents. Thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers.

[dr.strangelove]

45. I pray for you and your family today.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for your loss. Death at such a young age is a tragedy. Few things are worse that a parent seeing their child die. I feel for your mother and father. I hope that time has been able to help heal these wounds, but anniversaries often aggravate the feelings of loss. Best wishes during this difficult time.

[Shell Beau]

46. Thank you so much.

This day is the hardest for them. His birthday is in November and then Christmas. Those are all hard days for my family. But it has gotten easier as time has passed.

[pdx_prog]

47. I'm so sorry Shell

It has to be hard. I have a younger brother that was thrown from his car. He was comatose for about a month, then when he awoke he was like a 10 year old again. He had to learn to read, write and talk all over again and it turned him into a completely different person. He had everything in the world going for him and now he can barely survive.

My thoughts are definitely with you today sweetie...

[Shell Beau]

48. And mine are with you as well! Thank you!

[no name no slogan]

49. Oh no, that's so sad...

I'm so sorry for your loss. 24 is way too young :cry:

Your brother and I are about the same age. at this time nine years ago i was getting ready to be married in six days. i just can't imagine a young life so full of promise extinguished so early.

Your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers today. May your healing continue and may you find peace.

[Shell Beau]

52. Aw, thanks!

[kick-ass-bob]

50. damn, darling.

:hug:

Sending my energy your (and your family's) way

:grouphug:

[Shell Beau]

53. Thanks, kick-ass-bob! Appreciated!

[gardenista]

51. Shell...

:hug:

Oh I know that feeling that if you just don't hear the words, it won't be true.

I'm so sorry about your brother. Your other thread about your niece was also very moving. It's lovely of you to have this tribute to him.

I will have him and your parents in my prayers.

[Shell Beau]

55. Thank you! You are very kind.

[Taverner]

54. Fuck.....I'm so sorry Shell

That's terrible

:hug:

I wish I could say something, anything, that would make you feel better...

Even though my brother and I are two completely different people, both of us know how terrible it would be to lose the other...

[Shell Beau]

57. Just remember how much you do love each other even

through your differences! Thanks, Taverner!

[Taverner]

64. We do...and we know not to spend more than a day or so

with each other.

We're very different, he being a baptist Minister in Northern Alberta, and myself being a secular humanist in California.

Despite this, he is a lefty and in many ways more left than I am...

[Shell Beau]

68. Y'all do seem very different.

But I am sure y'all know that y'all love each other anyway.

[NewJeffCT]

56. I'm so sorry

your story brought tears to my eyes. losing family way before their time is really the toughest thing there is.

[Shell Beau]

58. You are so right! Thank you so much!

[skygazer]

59. What a sad story

I'm so sorry. I understand your wanting to speak of him - one of the many difficult things about losing someone you love is the fact that others will never know them as you did. You and your family are in my thoughts. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

61. I know. I hate that when I have kids, they will never really

know him, only what I tell them about him. Thanks!!

[WeRQ4U]

60. Thoughts and vibes your way.

[Shell Beau]

62. Thanks!

[qanda]

63. I cannot even imagine the pain your family must still be in

Having to bury a child seems like one of the most unfair and unnatural things to occur in life. I pray for you and your family as you deal with the painful memories of that day, hopefully the other 364 days of the year are filled with the joyful memories that I'm sure you shared with your brother.

[Shell Beau]

66. Thank you so much!

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

65. Thanks for sharing that Shell. You're a brave

person for sharing your pain. You and your family are in all of our hearts.
--Dave

[Shell Beau]

67. That is so sweet. Thank you!

[TheProphetess]

69. I'm very sorry

May time heal your wounds and help your family with the loss of your brother. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

70. Thank you for your kind words.

[ScreamingMeemie]

71. Sweet Shell, I cannot imagine what it must have been like to lose

your big brother at a moment in life when things were changing so rapidly for you. Because of your post, I just called both my brothers to tell them I loved them. You and your family will be in my thoughts the whole day through. :hug: Thanks for sharing him with us.

~Laura

[Shell Beau]

72. Thank you so much. Some positive things

do come from tragedies such as this. You realize how precious your loved ones are and how quickly they can be taken from you. You learn to appreciate what you have. I am glad you called your brothers.

[Swede]

73. That's so sad Shell.

My sympathy to you and yours.

[Shell Beau]

74. Thanks! Everybody experiences tragedy at some time or another!

[Debi]

75. My heart goes out to you

I only have one brother and I don't know what I'd do if I lost him.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

77. Thanks Debi!

It is tough!

[AlleyCat123]

76. I'm so sorry!

My brother died suddenly and violently 9 years ago this past May 8th, and I also remember it like it was yesterday. Even though the physical body dies, I don't believe that the person's life neccessarily ends at that point, because we still remember them. As an example of what I mean, my brother loved funny stories and 'shaggy dog' stories, and to this day whenever I hear one, my absolute first involuntary thought is "I've got to remember to tell John this story"; of course, the very next thought is the realization that I can't do so, obviously.

As long as we remember those we loved, they do live on, and never truly, completely pass away. You have my sympathy and my understanding, and I hope your broken heart will mend in time.

:hug::loveya:

[Shell Beau]

80. I am sorry for your loss. They do live on, I truly believe that.

Thanks! :hug:

[Celeborn Skywalker]

78. How sad : (

I'll be sure to keep you and your family in my prayers tonight, Shell.
:hug:

[Shell Beau]

82. That is super sweet! Thanks!

[swag]

79. Hi, friend.

I am sorry you and your family have this sadness in your lives. My thoughts are with you today.

Much love and happiness to you all.

[Shell Beau]

84. Thank you swag! You are very kind (and a good guesser)!

[Ptah]

81. Here's a candle for you

[Shell Beau]

85. Thank you!

[Ptah]

89. A short recap:

When we (three brothers and one sister) were young,
we would be awake at 3 or 4 in the morning.
We saw Alan Sheppard's first ride.
On May 5, 1961.

We watched as Walter Cronkite explained as best he could, the scientific
adventure that was happening.

(remember B&W TV?)

anyhow, twenty-five years (to the day) after the first
Aerican was launched into space, my younger brother
died in a traffic accident.

I hate Cinco de Mayo, and it is not an ethnic thing.

Again, Shell Beau, I am sorry to learn of your loss.


'toyng' realy is 'young'

[Lilyhoney]

83. I can't see thru my tears so I will just send a hug.

:cry: :hug: :cry: :grouphug: :cry: O8)

[Shell Beau]

86. Thanks Lilyhoney! It is much appreciated!

[gmoney]

87. My thoughts are with you and your family...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Shell Beau]

88. Thank you gmoney!