I just figured out why I'm single - here is the girl I'm looking for

[HEyHEY]

Woman, around 5,4 brunette, kinda Mediterranean looking, must like 50s music and be prepared to dance to it. Must have an appreciation of quality and Like doing things the "Old School" way. As well, other attributes of note; Should be a purist and hate pretty well all modern pop culture. Must be much better educated than I and realize though we may be in a relationship, I don't want to be bitched at or bossed around.
Must be considerate, must like crooner and be prepared to dance to THAT.
Must play an instrument, or paint, or do something creative.
Must not be a TV addict. Must not be a general idiot. Must enjoy and participate in cynical humour. Must not take shit from anyone that is being a dick. Must be able to stand up for herself. Must be well travelled and speak other languages....oh and must wear glasses

Yikes, good luck on that... so uh, why are you single

[NashVegas]

1. Little Contradictory There?

"Must enjoy and participate in cynical humour. Must not take shit from anyone that is being a dick. "

[HEyHEY]

5. THAT'S THE PROBLEM

Seriously though, if she HAS a good sense of humour she knows cynics arent'being dicks!

[ret5hd]

2. well goddamn...

it sounds like you're looking for me....except for the mediterranean thing...i'm irish...

except i'm male, straight, and married. B-) :toast:

i didn't find mine till i was 41, so don't worry!

[Thtwudbeme]

3. Many men wanted Annette Funicello....but, they outgrew that along

with their Mickey Mouse ears.

You will too.

[BlueJazz]

4. Sounds ike a lot of Women on DU... N/T

[Whoa_Nelly]

6. Am 5' 7", redhead, and probably

old enough to be your mom...but hey! Am single, and am very creative (piano, ballet, jazz dancing...will dance to anything 'cause it's easy to do :), am an artist, and lord I hate bitching.

Beat me Daddy, Eight to the bar <<if only I had a purple hippo to put in here...NO! Forget I ever said that!>>

[nine23]

9. Hey: HEyHEy. The ball's in your court, pal.

Don't make me have to go up there and slap you upside the head. PM this fine (sounding) woman.

She'd probably love your neck of the woods as well. Get on it dude...

[HEyHEY]

11. With all respect, you didn't see the part about "Old enough to be your mom

[Whoa_Nelly]

12. Damn

I look 40..ain't that good enough for you? not to mention what life experience can do for you...:rofl:

[nine23]

18. Age is relative man. Maybe she thinks you're 10yo. Do the arithmetic.

And you just gotta' love the handle "Whoa_Nelly". Even if she's halfway between Nelly Furtato and, um...a horse, can't be that bad, can it?

[Whoa_Nelly]

21. ROFLMAO

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Am only into guys over legal age
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[democracyindanger]

7. That's not a girl. That sounds like a short, dark-haired guy.

[HEyHEY]

27. I tried the homsexual thing once...wait, twice, couldn't do it

Backed out... not my thing

[benburch]

8. Actually, that is the start of a great personals ad.

Would you like me to guide you through the process of making a dynamite personals ad?

[Whoa_Nelly]

16. Hey, BenBurch! Trust me on this one

Still have guys in their 20s looking to spend time with me....:rofl: embarrasses the hell out of my 26 y.o. son

[benburch]

22. Actually, I was responding to the Original Post...

I sometimes teach courses in writing an effective internet personals ad. Mostly for kinky folks, but the same techniques apply.

[Whoa_Nelly]

23. AHHHH!

Perhaps HEyHEY is doing a subliminal personals search...hmmmmm :yoiks:

[ZombieNixon]

10. I'm not, but here's my list, which explains why I was single for a VERY

LONG TIME.

MUSTS:
Woman, between 5' 4" and 5' 9", brunette (preferable) or redhead (freckles are a minus, unless is of Irish ancestry).
Must have white teeth.
Must like punk rock (harder stuff is best, but I'll settle for emocore in a pinch).
Must realize that, although I can dance, I don't like to.
Must appreciate the value of education and be enrolled in a higher institution thereof.
Must love Family Guy and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Other than that, must abhor TV in general. Must realize that I will be prone to purchasing an expensive home entertainment system just to watch those two shows and little else.
Must realize that the best comedy stems from overdone stereotypes, sarcasm and funny voices.
Must be self-assured enough to punch the next guy who hits on her. Must not bitch when I do it for her.
Must not be a Republican. At least not a Bush Republican. And let's face it, in my generation, you're either a Bush Republican or a lefty Democrat.
Must realize that I would be willing to travel across town WITH HER in a blizzard in order to fix her mother's friend's lightbulb.

PREFERS:
Musical ability. Singing voice is best. Instrument will do.
Ability to speak a foreign language.
Appreciates the value of a decent hookah bar. :smoke:
Doesn't do homework until 7:00PM the evening before the due date, but still manages to pull out a decent grade.

So, I finally meet this girl and ask her out, and now we're 1500 miles apart for the next three weeks! :mad:

[roscoeroscoe]

13. what is please send picture of boat?

the answer is sinlge/divorced woman, no heavy drugs, into possible ltr, any race welcome, must enjoy bass fishing and have bass boat and trailer in any condition.

[CanuckAmok]

14. Seeking:

Independently wealthy Russian, Romanian, Uzbek, Czech, Indian/Pakistani or Arabian professional woman, 26-35, 5'4, 120lbs, sleek, immaculate bobbed hair, perfect mezzosoprano, intelligent, cynical, great rack and shoe collection, can drive standard, and field-strip any Kalishnikov or a G3 in perfect darkness. Should be witty, and conversant in popular culture while condemning it completely. No kids. She should enjoy New Wave music and yearn to lay around all day in expensive lingerie alternately servicing me orally and making me poached eggs and chocolate cookies. Obviously someone who can argue coherently in favour of progressive politics while riding around in a $95,000 Aston Martin and collecting Bonny Doon wines would be most welcome. Someone who owns a boat would be given preference. Arts/History degree is a plus. And, yeah...glasses.

[Guaranteed]

15. HEY!! That's me!

Except that I'm a man, 5' 10", northwestern-European/Scandinavian looking, more into classic rock. I DO like quality, and "old school" is good- in SOME ways. I'm pure myself, but accept the bullshit pop culture offers for the most part and seek out my own truth. I have a B.A. from a solid university, but I have to say that, in a relationship, *I* do the bossing around. Sorry, Hey Hey (your new spelling).

Also, I do the singing. Deal, man.

I used to play an instrument (alto sax). Most of my creativity is conceptual (as opposed to physical). And I watch my share of TV, while it's usually in the background while I'm doing DU, playing poker or doing something else on the computer.

I'll take shit when it's proper (grandparents, reasonable bosses, etc.). Otherwise, I give massive beat downs.

I have 10/20 vision (better than normal)- at least the last time it was checked. Sorry there, too.

So, yeah, that's me, at least partly. It would help on my side if you were a woman, too. I'm not that, demanding, though, if you can just get that one our of the way. :) I just like nice breasts, really. I'm pretty reasonable.

[asthmaticeog]

17. All single guys are single because they're nice and women only want jerks.

Or so I've been told by nice guys. :crazy:

<guitar solo>

[Whoa_Nelly]

19. So, why are single women single?

<<guitar solo as played by me on my Dean cut-away acoustic feeding into my Marshall amp>>

[Bucky]

46. Coz the "good guys" are all busy moping about & whining about being single

Seriously, this self indulgent "all girls like assholes" malarky is getting kind of old.

[enigmatic]

20. If you've got 70 percent of that in a woman you know

You've got a soulmate..

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

24. I like glasses on women, too

I don't know why but I find them sexy.

[nine23]

25. Specs on specs, you'll never go back...they even "spark" with static.

[Left Is Write]

26. "Must be better educated than I"?

Based on his other requirements, that one shouldn't be too difficult.

[HEyHEY]

28. ...

:eyes:

Hey, I've been drinkin' for fuck sakes... but now that I think of that, she should be able to drink me under the table

Sorry, "Should have more education than me."

[Left Is Write]

29. No, the sentence is grammatically correct.

[HEyHEY]

30. I refuse to use "myself"

[Left Is Write]

31. Good. Because that would be wrong.

:D

[HEyHEY]

32. No, it would not

[SoCalDem]

33. Bzzzzt. that was correct..most people would say "me" ...that's wrong

:)

[Left Is Write]

38. For the record, there was no criticism of his grammar in my post.

[Bucky]

43. Both "I" and "me" are correct grammar, depending on how "than" is used

If than is an adverb, you should say "than me" but if than is intended as a conjuction, then "than I" is correct form. And whether than is being used as an adverb or conjunction depends entirly on whether you say I or me.

[SarahB]

34. Your perfect woman is probably out there somewhere.

Although like most of us, you'll have to make a ton of mistakes and get your heart broken a few more times before you find her and she likes you back.

Ah well, you're still young. :D

[Bucky]

44. However she is married to someone younger and richer than you.

Trust me, that's always how it goes. :evilgrin: }( :evilgrin:

[Langis]

35. At least you know what you are looking for.

I have no idea what I want. Or what would be good for me. Maybe I'll figure it out some day.

Although your idea of the perfect woman doesn't sound too bad... :toast:

[driver8]

36. Here is my list from when I was single...

Must be breathing.

Must be able to form coherent sentences.

Must not drool.

Must eat with utensils.

Must enjoy drinking large quantities of alcohol.

Must enjoy watching football.

Must love dogs.

Must look like Elle McPherson.


Can you believe that I had a hard time meeting women, too?? I couldn't understand it. I am so grateful that I found my wife and she saw the goodness in me.

[Hello_Kitty]

37. I want a mate - but not living with me.

My ideal relationship would be with a guy who lives nearby but not in the same house. I'm kind of lonely right now but I really like having my shit to myself, ya know? Is that strange?

Guess I'll be single for a long time too...sigh...

[Solon]

39. Easy to see why I'm single...

The girl of my dreams is leaving to go to college in a week and a half, moving almost halfway around the world! :cry:

[HEyHEY]

40. You and your college buddies need to hatch a zany plan to keep her

here!

[Solon]

41. How, the apartment is already set up, the plane tickets in hand...

and even more importantly, I don't want to hold her back.

[Bucky]

42. Dude, if I was a chick I'd be a total match for you.

Except I'm taller than 5'4". Oh, and I'm not brunette--particularly around the bald spot. But obviously the not being a chick thing is what's really ruining it for us. Ah, us star crossers...

[LastKnight]

45. the reason im single has little to do with what im looking for

and more to do with the fact that i am very seriously antisocial, i like my space, and i only enter into relationships (of any sort) when i feel like it, when i do its generally pretty good. so i guess its kinda because im inclined to be alone more often than to be around people, it leads in the longrun to less friends and less relationships of any kind.

i prefer quality over quantity, anyway.