Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?

[eissa]

Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?


Coalition Provisional Authority:

The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

Halliburton:

We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the U.S. government $326,004.

Muqtada al-Sadr:

The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.

U.S. Army Military Police:

We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.

Peshmerga:

The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons its needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.

1st Cavalry Division:

The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately detained and searched in accordance with current standard operating procedures. We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.

Al Jazeera:

The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

Blackwater:

We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.

Translators:

Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.

The Pentagon:

We are developing anti-grav plating for the chicken's feet and installing it with a chicken-portable microprocessor based missile defense system in order to enable the chicken to capitalize on the revolution in road-crossing affairs. An interrelational database will be developed to ensure that no peer competitor-such as a pheasant-emerges to challenge the chicken's full spectrum information dominance. A separate analytical unit will be set up-called the Office of Special Chickens-to challenge CIA analysis of the chicken's prospects for success.

2nd ACR:

The chickens are dead-we nailed 50 of them next to a mosque with 75 rounds of 105mm and 2,000 rounds of 20mm. The fools....

The Marines:

We will cordon off the chicken's coop and shell the crap out of it since we don' have enough forces to perform a decisive operation. Before that, we will blame the Army for excessive use of force in prior dealings with the chicken.

The Air Force:

We can not confirm or deny excessive load of ordnance was used to strike 5 to 10 anti-Coalition force members near where the chicken crossed the road, however, imagery does confirm a second strike was necessary to eliminate the threat and unfortunately, we have to report that the chicken can now be classified as collateral damage.

[MsAnthropy]

1. This is good!

painfully true

[underpants]

2. Brilliant

[El Fuego]

3. I am going to email that one!

:7