Neighbors from hell

[gypsy11]

I need to vent about this. I've been a long time lurker and occasional poster here for quite a while, and I see that people here are very supportive with people that need to vent... So I thought I'd give it a try. I could use some support right about now.

I live in a two family house, on the first floor. I recently had new neighbors move in above me. The first weekend they were living there, at 1 in the morning it sounded like the house was going to come down. At that time I wasn't sure if they were fighting or if they were just having some loud "fun" so I let it be. Anyway, as time went on I became more and more sure that it was fighting I was hearing. Until one day when the woman stopped me on my way into my apartment to show me the black and blue choke marks on her neck. At that time I told her that I had a feeling that fighting was going on up there but now that I know for sure that she was being hit I have no choice but to call the police the next time I hear fighting. The next time rolled around, and he really did a number on her. He almost killed her in fact. It was one of the most awful things I have ever had to listen too, and I can only imagine what it was like to be the recipient of the abuse. So I called the police and they took him away in hand cuffs. He's not been back since.

The thing is... Since then the woman has been extremely hostile to me, making my life a living hell. She has a new drunk living up there now. From what I can tell, and he's only been there a month, he's worse than the last guy.(I am sure these people are alcoholics because of the mountains of beer cans that stack up on their deck each week, not to mention their behavior.)And now they are beginning to fight. I had to call the police again last night.

This is a total nightmare for me. This woman is obviously horribly affected by alcohol. I was raised by alcoholics so I know what this disease can do to people. I attend Al-anon myself. (when she told me she was getting hit, I gave her all kinds of pamphlets and let her know that the folks at Al-anon could help her, I suspect that they went into the garbage though.)

The landlord tells me that he is going to evict her for non-payment of rent, as well as all the damage that has happened to the apartment since she's been there... She is supposed to be served the papers this week. I'm afraid that she's going to blame me, and make the living hell she is already putting me through even worse.
I am trying very hard to avoid her. The police told me that I'm doing the right thing by avoiding her. They told me to keep the phone nearby and if I need to call, don't hesitate.
I'm not really looking for any advise or anything, I know it will be over in a few months. In the meantime though, I just wanted to vent, so thank you.

I really hate what alcoholism can do to people. It destroys so many lives and that makes me really sad. It doesn't have to be that way.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Jade Fox]

1. Hang in there....

hopefully it will all be over soon. :hug:

[gypsy11]

2. Thanks

It will be, but getting there is going to be the trick.

[FlaGranny]

3. That's really awful.

Neighbors from hell can be BAD. You feel like a hostage in your own home. Continue to steer clear and hopefully she'll be gone soon.

[gypsy11]

7. Thats exactly how I feel

A hostage in my own home.

[Cathyclysmic]

4. difficult situation

I think in that situation, I would avoid her. Angry drunks are so unpredictable.

:hug:

[gypsy11]

8. Thanks

I am usually pretty good at avoiding her, but sometimes she camps out in front of my door. I think she thrives on conflict.

[Cathyclysmic]

18. from what you said, sounds exactly right

it scares me that there are people in the world that actually have to look for conflict. They need to take up a hobby or something!

[cleofus1]

5. just deny everything you can

give her your sympathy....

but try not to involve yerself anymore....deny any involvement in her eviction...

people like this are unstable emotionally and psycologically...for your safetys sake avoid her and her crowd...

[gypsy11]

9. Thanks

That is my plan. :)

[The Backlash Cometh]

6. You don't have bad neighbors.

Bad neighbors are the kind of educated business-minded individuals who take over the board of your Association in order to steal common grounds from the Association. If you try to sue them, they'll use your own Association fees against you. You know, just like cities do.

[gypsy11]

10. Sounds like something

that would upset me as well. Unfair!

[sam sarrha]

11. stay with friends..?? I'd like to ask forgiveness from all for 30 yrs

of alcoholism... it was like on my first beer i had a black out that lasted 30 years.. i came to when i heard my second wife say "quit drinking or you are 'out' of here"... i have been sober for 5 years. My wife and our relationship are so precious that i would have sacrificed an arm or leg.. alcohol was a cruel mistress, but after learning to meditate and half an ounce of weed later i had no craving for it..

about the time i decided to quit i ran into a Tibetan monk that invited me to the Chenrezig Center Buddhist Center.. I attended 3 meetings a week and meditated every day for 5 years..

during a group meditation there i realized that Buddhism was like an A.A. type meeting for people addicted to "Conventional Thought":rofl:

"I" am why i call Bu$h a Wet Brain Alcoholic, after decades of abuse i do pretty good.. but i know better than to try to be F*cking pResident of the United states..:blush:

[gypsy11]

14. LOL

You are forgiven. My mom has been sober for 27 years. I'm 35. Alcoholics that recognize they have a problem and do something about it, I have found to be some of the most intelligent and kind people around. I know some really great alcoholics.

Baby boy bush is just a dry drunk. Although, I have to wonder if he's not even really dry. He certainly embodies all the active alcoholic traits that's for sure!

[bearfan454]

12. Call every time it sounds like she is getting hit.

Men that hit women are cowards.

[gypsy11]

16. I totally agree

I feel that I have a moral obligation to do so. I can not sit by when I know someone is getting hit, she needs help and I told her so.

[Bassic]

13. That sounds like a hard situation

People like her need help and should be admitted into some sort of hospital.

Hang in there, you'll get through it.

[gypsy11]

17. Thank you.

[Bassic]

31. My pleasure

[LynneSin]

15. I made the mistake of reporting a neighbor who was beating up his g/f

What a fricking nightmare!!

I could hear him smacking the shit out of her through my apartment wall so finally when it sounded really bad I called and they drug him away in cuffs. The girlfriend was so happy he was gone and everything was rosy keen there for about a month.

Then he came back and once he was in control they both made my life miserable. See, when he was around she had to be rude to me since I was the one that got him in trouble.

But 2 months later she comes pounding on my door all bloody and bludgeoned begging for help. At that point I was tired of the treatment I got from them and told the girl that if she wanted help I would bring my phone outside and she could call 9/11 but other than that there was nothing else I could do. She called 9/11 and she stood by my front door until they showed up. A week later she moved out and I have no clue where he went because a month later I had new tenants (single mom with a 5 year old)

It's like you know the beatings are going on and you want to help them but ultimately seems to backfire on you. So I did the best I could by offering a phone.

[gypsy11]

19. Then you know how I feel

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
It's so sad. And yes, the woman is not at all thankful that I may have saved her life that night.

[LynneSin]

23. They're thankful if they don't have him around

:cry:

[lukasahero]

20. Thank you for trying to help

Abuse and alcohol are two ugly partners. Hang in there until they get her out. (I'd just try to stay out of her way, just in case.)

[gypsy11]

22. Thanks

I just wish that she'd get the help she needs, but I can't make her. It has to be something she does on her own.

[MissMillie]

21. Non-payment of rent is not your fault

she's in denial about what her life is doing to her. No matter what you tell her, it won't sink in.

It'd be nice if she could find her way out of this before she loses something really important, like, say... her life, but she's the only one who has any say in that.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. :hug:

[gypsy11]

24. Thank you

I know it's not my fault, and trying to reason anything out with this woman is impossible. I figured that out quite quickly. She blames everything on everyone else.
She even came out and started yelling at me last night for calling the police, in front of the police. They told her I was only concerned about her safety.

[demnan]

25. Yeah, I know about neighbors from hell

mine aren't quite as bad as yours though. I wouldn't let this woman intimidate you. You didn't do anything wrong. I got a security system for my condo just in case someone tries to break in and hurt my cats (what I care about most). It's expensive, but I'm at peace.

[gypsy11]

27. Thanks

I have cats, three of them, and they are the light of my life, they are like the children I don't have. I worry that she might try and do something to the house and my poor kitties would suffer. They get really freaked out when the banging from the fighting upstairs starts.

Your kitties are beautiful by the way. It's cool that you taught your Siamese to walk on a leash! :) I'm thinking of trying that with my namesake, Gypsy. I think she would like it.

[demnan]

29. It's not that difficult

The main thing is if they start going somewhere you don't want to go, just stand still. Tugging on the leash isn't good, it will just make them hate it (and they'll try to scoot their little bodies out of it).

[miss_kitty]

26. sorry you are going through this

bad neighbours really can make your life hell.

Here's hoping the landlord screens the next renters with greater care.

:hi:

[gypsy11]

28. Thanks

I hope so too.

[Dukkha]

30. I know about ROOMMATES from Hell!

Having alcoholics in your own home is a nightmare, particularly because guess who gets stuck with all the bills? My credit was bad for many years because of stupid roommates long ago. Then I finally got my own place and thought all would be well. NOT. Had loud obnoxious drunk neighbors! I Broke my lease and split. Now I pay a lot on a mortgage but it's worth it to have a quiet sanctuary in a nice neighborhood.

[gypsy11]

33. Yes in your own home it is worse

I know, I grew up with them, although they never ruined my credit.
I'd love to buy a house, but there is no way I can afford to in this market.

[Pithlet]

32. Ugh, You poor thing.

Bad neighbors can make your life a living hell. It sounds like it will all be over, eventually. I hope your new neighbors are nice.

[gypsy11]

34. Thank you

I'm hopeful that I've paid my dues with these people too.