The Gratuitous "Spaceballs" Quoting Thread

[Chichiri]

Prepare ship for LUDICROUS SPEED!!

Fasten all seatbeats! Close all entrances and exits! Close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three-ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo...

[Xipe Totec]

1. Spaceballs?

Shit! There goes the planet!

[Mr_Scarecrow]

2. May the Schwartz be with you

EOM

[Squatch]

3. I see your Schwartz is as big as mine

edited for spelling.

[meegbear]

4. She doesn't look Druish

[WeRQ4U]

5. Only one man would DARE give me the raspberry....... ....LONESTAR!!!!

That's all we need, a Druish princess.

Funny, she doesn't look Druish.

[deadparrot]

6. "What's the matter, Col. Sandurz? Chicken?" nt

[billyskank]

7. Yoghurt!!!

Ye hoyd a me?

[Chichiri]

11. I hate Yoghurt!

Even with strawberries!

[LastKnight]

8. 1.2.3.4.5? thats a combination some idiot would keep on their luggage!

prepare to departure, and change the combination on my luggage!

[Chichiri]

13. 1 2 3 4 5? That's amazing, I have the same combination on my luggage!

[WhollyHeretic]

9. I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate

[ghostsofgiants]

10. Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!

Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
(Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand)
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
(Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down)
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!

[Zomby Woof]

12. What the hell am I looking at?

"What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?"

"Now, you're looking at now sir, everything that's happens now, is happening now."

"What happened to then?"

"We passed then."

"When?"

"Just now."

"We're at now, now."

"Go back to then."

"When?"

"Now."

"Now?"

"Now."

"We can't."

"Why?"

"We missed it."

"When?"

"Just now."

"When will then be now?"

"Soon."

"How soon?"

[sakabatou]

25. Technician: Sir!

Dark Helmet: What?
Technician: We've identified their location!
Dark Helmet: Where?
Technician: It's the moon of Vega
Colonel Sandurz: Good work. Set a course and prepare for our arrival
Dark Helmet: When?
Technician: Nineteen hundred hours, sir!
Colonel Sandurz: By high noon tomorrow they will be our prisoners!
Dark Helmet: WHO?!?!

[Chichiri]

14. Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar.

Where is it?

[LastKnight]

15. bub bbbbbb bub bub!

the radarman! best line in the movie.

[sakabatou]

22. "We've lost the bleeps the creeps and the sweeps."

"The what and the what and the what?"

[rene moon]

16. We ain't found Sh*t!

"I'm a mog. Half Man, half Dog. I'm my own best friend"

"My hair, they shot my hair! Son of a bitch"

"Oh, no. It's not what I want, it's what HE wants. Pizza the Hutt!"

[billyskank]

20. You know who the "We ain't found shit!" guy is?

I reckon it's Tim Russ, who played Tuvok in Star Trek: Voyager. :crazy:

[ET Awful]

17. I bet she gives great helmet. And, of course

Comb the desert.

[usedtobesick]

18. he's a asshole? he's a asshole?

I'm surrounded by assholes.

[barb162]

19. Jabba the Hutt

[sakabatou]

23. Wrong movie. It's Pizza the Hut

[barb162]

29. bwaha, you're right! I had the picture in my mind of the cheesy

muck dripping off the character.

[sakabatou]

21. "Ludacris speed? But the ship can't take it!"

[sakabatou]

24. "Oh my god! It's Space Balls I!"

"They've gone plaid."

President Skroob: Sandurz, Sandurz, you have got to help me, I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions! I am a president!

Sandurz: It's Mega Maid. She gone from suck to blow.

Dark Helmet: Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power and I have both and you know it...

[sakabatou]

26. .

Sandurz opens a panel to the self-destruct cancellation
button. It has a sign on that says, "Out of Order."
Sandurz : Out of order?
Dark Helmet : Fuck. Even in the future nothing works.

[sakabatou]

27. Dolls...

Dark Helmet: And now Princess Vespa, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to. No, no, go away, I hate you! And yet... I find you strangely attractive. Of course you do! Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you *know* it! No, no, leave me alone! No, kiss me! No! Stop! Yes, yes! Oh, oh, oh! Ohhhh, your helmet is so big!

Colonel Sandurz: Dark Helmet, sir!
Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again.
Dark Helmet: Good!

[sakabatou]

28. The vulcan neck pinch

Guard: What the hell are you doing?
Lone Starr: The Vulcan neck pinch?
Guard: No, no, no, stupid, you've got it much too high. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck.
Lone Starr changes hand position
Lone Starr: Like this?
Guard: Yeah!
Guard falls to the ground
Lone Starr: Thanks!

[TheMightyFavog]

30. Give me that, you petty excuse for an officer!

:D